 | THE LORGNETTE. The lorgnette, or, Studies of the town |  |
AN EAR AT THE CAPITOL.
`— nous transportames au lieu où c'estait, et veismes ung petit vielliard
bossu, contrefaict et monstreux, on le nommoit Ouï-dire: il avoit la
gueule fendue jusques aulx aureilles — et aultant d'aureilles comme
jadis eut Argus d'yeulx: au reste estait aveugle, et paralyticque des jambes.'
—Pantagruel, Liv. v., Cap. xxviii.
The little old man Ouï-Dire, as Rabelais goes on
to say, was surrounded with a crowd of men and
women, eager to know what he had `heard say.'
I am disposed to believe, Fritz, that there are a vast
many Ouï-Dires in our city of Washington,—not
only old men, but old women too, who are better
found in the matter of legs, and eyes, than the
vielliard of Pantagruel; and who can ramble
easily from the lobby to the gallery, and can see—
much more than is to be seen. Nor are they reduced
like Rabelais' man to squat upon their
haunches, in the street, to secure hearers, but are,
on the contrary, of a dignified, and important
class, entirely above street-singers, and hand-or
ganists; and if we may trust their own accounts,
are on the best of terms with our eminent men,
and think no more of tossing off a punch with Mr.
Webster, or of a hand at `old sledge' with Harry
Clay, than of taking tea with Mrs. Swisshelm, or
of singing a psalm with Giddings.
They have not only a great many ears, but they
distances. They not unfrequently surprise us with
accounts of occurrences in our town, and manifest
such intimate knowledge of our own affairs, as can
hardly be due to anything but their extreme length
of ears. Very many such Ouï-Dires are to be
found in various parts of the country, but nowhere
do they thrive so well as at Washington. That
city seems to possess a climate highly favorable to
the species; and to tell the truth, there is not a
little of the stock in our town, who are the first to
catch and Herald the accounts that come to us from
the pleasant old chatter-boxes of the capital.
At one time we are startled into a shudder by a
pathetic story about poor Bodisco, gone to the mines
of Siberia; another time, Mexico or some neighbor
country is in a flame of war, or M. Calderon
has received his papers; and as for the announcement
of `changes in cabinet,' it has gone into
the political calendar, and is as much a part of
public faith and rule, as the `expect rain about
this time' of the Christian Almanac.
Another remarkable circumstance, and one which
cannot have failed to strike the acute and sagacious
observer, is the extraordinary variety of coloring
which is given to the different reports; thus,
one individual of a dignified style, and hopeful
happy to inform you, currently reported that the
slavery and territorial question will be settled the
present week; and I have it on the best authority,
that Mr. Clay is to withdraw his opposition to the
Presidential plan, and to lend the resources of his
indomitable energy to the aid of the masterly inaction
of the administration.'
Another of a prompt and business order, writes:
`I have the great pleasure of assuring you on
the most unimpeachable authority, that Mr. Clay
and his friends have at length won over the cabinet
to a participation in their views, and I shall
therefore be able to announce to you definitively
the issue of the great question before the country,
by the last of this week.'
A man of progress, and of high though ambiguous
morals, indulges in the following tender reflections:—`There
is little to be hoped, I fear,
from our public men; they lack that afflatus of a
divine humanity which lights up the true philanthropist.
This cursed slavery is binding their
souls, as it were, with shackles. It is a mild
Sunday as I write this, and I cannot but think as
I sit in my window, quietly smoking my cigar,
and looking out upon the hypocritical church-goers,
of the blessed time that is coming, when there
for every man will be his own teacher, and his
own head-waiter!'
One of the racy, and cheap-novel school, writes:
`Look out for a tornado; a tempest is brewing
in the tea-pot. If, before the end of the week,
there is not such a hullabaloo among certain prominent
individuals I might name, as will make a
devil of a stir, then my name 's not Humbug.'
Even the same correspondent not unfrequently
corrects his telegraphic report by letter, and his letter
by telegraph: with such assiduity in making
corrections, the town is ensured, as you will readily
suppose, reports of exceeding accuracy.
I am just now, Fritz, in the receipt of a Washington
letter, which, as it brings to light some
things which are not in the papers, may interest
you. I will not vouch for the truth of the roports,
nor for the character of my correspondent; such a
course would be as unsafe for me as for the town
journals. All I can say is, he has the air of being
an honest fellow; and his statements, if not
true, are at least highly probable.
Sir:—I can't say that I like altogether the tone
of your remarks about Washingtonians. You
as have lost character at home, (which it is
possible to do,) and gone to your city to set up.
As for the members, I shall not defend them, as
they are at best but a shabby set of fellows, who
bother us amazingly in the winter-time, and have
no more gratitude for favors, personal or domestic,
than so many office-holders.
It occurs to me that you may be a disappointed
office-seeker yourself; if so, you are not the first
who has vented his spleen on Washington in general.
But I beg you would use discretion, and let
your wrath lie where it belongs; we do not boast
any consanguinity with the successive cabinets,
and only show them favor as they are liberal with
their wines, and ices. The Galphin affair was a
fat thing for them; and if the stupid louts of
your town had held their tongues, would have been
paid back in dinners, before the end of the session.
The Whig party is believed to be a very intelligent
party, and I trust it is so; but their family management
strikes us as a little queer. General
Taylor is an honest old gentleman, and it is fortunate
he is so—to keep up the executive reputation
to a fair average.
Cuba made us a little stir and fright the other
day; and M. Calderon (who serves capital mulled
to be on the gain, and Savannah has led off with a
handsome figure; it is hinted that proposals are
afoot to erect a monument in the neighborhood of
the Pulaski House, to that intrepid adventurer, the
late Mr. Kidd. My friend, Mr. Foote, with whom
I strolled down the Avenue yesterday, is rather disappointed
at the turn things have taken; he has
his doubts about Lopez's bravery, and says of him,
(he talks Spanish) No est tan bravo il leon, como se
pinta;—which means, I suppose, that he is not so
brave in the shade, as in the `Sun.'
As for Daniel, he is hearty, and feels quite set
up by that snug dinner at the Revére. He thinks
Mr. Mann is better at `hints to young men,' than
hints to old ones; and that all good schoolmasters
are not, in virtue of the ferrule, good politicians.
As the mail is near closing, I can only give you a
sketch of the proceedings at a late Southern
caucus.
Mr. Clemens being called to the chair, and Mr.
Yulee appointed secretary, the committee, named
for that purpose, reported the following preamble
and resolutions:—Whereas, the United States of
America are just now perplexed by sundry embarrassing
questions, which, from the nature of the
government, devolve upon Congress for settlement;
that can be imagined, and is made up in a great
measure of hot-headed Northern fanatics; and
whereas, the questions alluded to are vital, involving
the dearest interests of a great many gentlemen
of the South, and collaterally of the North; and
whereas, the session of Congress is fast passing
away without any security being effected for a
continued, peaceable, and orderly possession of privileges
at present guaranteed by the Constitution;
and whereas, California as a State, has repudiated
slavery in a most hasty, injudicious, and ill-advised
manner,—therefore be it
Resolved, 1st: That active measures ought to
be set on foot to turn the current of the world's
opinion, and to effect as far as possible, a revival of
those ancient and most respectable authorities
which sanctioned slavery, while they admitted the
duties and charities of our Christian Religion.
Resolved, 2nd: That Henry Clay, in his proposed
arrangement of the points at issue, has flagrantly
overlooked the true interests and the rights of the
South, and has seriously compromised his character
both as an orator, and as a man.
Resolved, 3rd: That the admission of California
as a State, in view of its action on the subject of
slavery, would be a crying injustice to Southern
as no Southern man of honest principles, and
no Northern man of Southern principles, could for a
moment consent to.
Resolved, 4th: That the special thanks of this
assemblage are due to the New York Herald, the
Globe, and the Journal of Commerce, for their dignified
and unflinching advocacy of principles dear
to the heart of every freeman.
Resolved, 5th: That Mr. —, the eminent
civilian, has taken a noble stand in defence of institutions
which have been illustrated by his pen;
and that a subscription be set on foot for the purchase
and circulation of his works, and that in addition,
the freedom of the South be presented to
him, in a—tobacco-box.
Resolved, 6th: That in Dr. Grant, the advocate
of the Tabernacle, we recognize one of those brilliant
intelligences which are in advance of their
age; and whose merit is only the greater, because
it is popularly denied.
Resolved, 7th: That the noble State of Mississippi,
never recreant to her principles, and always
ready to Foote her debts, is doing yeoman service
for those institutions that have supplied her coffers;—and
that her martial governor is applauded
in his sympathies, and encouraged in his devotion
arms.
Resolved, 8th: That we cherish the Constitution,
though it was made in Philadelphia; and
that we are ready to stand by the Union, though at
the cost of association with the crazy zealots and
fanatics of the North. But patience has its limit,
and forbearance is only human; and if provocation
be renewed, the South will rise in her strength,
shatter the bonds of a corrupt and corrupting connection,
trample to the dust the fetters of modern
opinion and enlightened philanthropy, and place
her hope and strength upon the immutable basis of
freedom and humanity, as understood by Southern
jurists, and as illustrated by Southern chivalry!
P. S.—If Mr. Timon wants further accounts, I
can only say facilities are not wanting. I have an
old friend in Mr. Clayton's household (head-waiter)
who is all right: I may further mention that I
have opened negotiations with one of the chamber-maids
at the White House, from which I am led to
hope a great deal.
| THE LORGNETTE. The lorgnette, or, Studies of the town | |