University of Virginia Library

PAYING FOR SPORT.

By Henry Travers.

L—, the distinguished temperance advocate, tells
the following story—himself the hero.

I was a quiet, steady-going, unexcitable kind of a
personage, and not over fond of adventure, while
sober; but a glass or two of liquor generally took
away all my native discretion and self-respect, and
made me ripe for any kind of a frolic. The consequence
was, that every now and then I got into some
scrape or other, the result of which always made me
conscious that I had been playing a losing game.

On one occasion, three or four young fellows, about
as thoughtless as myself, agreed, while in liquor, that
we would disguise ourselves, and take a trip up the
river as far as Pittsburg, and there have a first rate
blow out. One, who had been tarrying but a short
time at Jericho, half covered his baby face with enormous
whiskers; another mounted green goggles, while
I bought a pair of black, fierce-looking moustaches,
and glued them to my upper lip. So metamorphosed
were we, that I hardly think our mothers would have
known us.

In this plight, with plenty of brandy aboard, we
embarked in one of the upward-bound boats, bent on
having a grand frolic. And so we had; but it cost
something to pay the piper, as it generally does in
such cases.

We soon made it clearly apparent to our fellow
passengers that we were a “hard party.” Some took
note of our sayings and doings with broad grins; some
with frowns; and some with an indifference that
marked their contempt for us as a parcel of shallowpated,
drunken fools.

Rum made us feel of consequence; so we showed
ourselves off to still better advantage. We swaggered
about, talked of indifferent matters in loud voices,
swore roundly, and were as ill-mannerly, rude, and
offensive to the other passengers, as it was possible to
be without getting up a quarrel. Every now and
then we repaired to the saloon on the forward deck,
and took in a new stock of excitement in the way of
toddies, punches, slings, cobblers, and so on.

The captain, a bluff, hard-featured, intractable
looking fellow, had, I did not fail to see, his eyes
upon us; and, sometimes, when we showed off some
extra flourishes, I could see a quick contraction
about his heavy brows. But brandy was in the
ascendant, and I did not feel afraid.

At dinner time, I took my place at the table, and
seizing my plate, thrust it towards one of the waiters,
theatrically, at the same time calling out—

“Here! you fellow! Bring me some roast beef,
rare!”

But the “fellow” chose to wait upon a lady first.

“Waiter!” I cried, holding my plate to another of
the table-attendants.

But he found it convenient to supply the wants of
some one else before attending to me.

“I say! Look here!”

But still I was unheeded. The waiters were busy
in helping others.

“Waiter!” I at length shouted, so loudly, and in
so fierce a tone, that the eyes of all at the table were
instantly upon me.

This brought one of the attendants, at whom I
glanced menacingly, to my side.

“Roast beef—rare!” said I.

“Yes, sir.” And the waiter vanished with my
plate.

For a few moments I sat patiently; but the roast
beef not appearing, my blood began to move a little
faster in my veins. Nearly a minute elapsed, and
yet I had obtained, thus far, nothing to eat. I turned
from side to side for the waiter to whom I had given
my commission, my anger rising higher and higher
every moment. Many were looking at me, enjoying
my impatience, and I knew it. At length, I saw the
fellow who had taken my plate, very coolly attending
to some one else. For a moment or two I sat and
looked at him, hoping to catch his eye; but, as I believed,
he purposely avoided looking at me. Maddened
beyond control, I sprang from the table, and,
seizing a chair, knocked him senseless upon the floor.

In an instant I was seized and roughly whirled
from the cabin.

“Throw him overboard!”

“Lynch him!”

“Knock his brains out!”

And sundry other cries of a like nature reached
my ears from the crowd of excited beings that
gathered around me.

I began to feel a little sober, and to be troubled
with the intrusion of some not very agreeable
thoughts.

“I'll take care of him, gentlemen,” called out the
captain, at this crisis, and saved me, I believe, from
being thrown unceremoniously into the river.

Seizing my arm, he forced me down upon the lower
deck, and calling for a rope, fastened me securely to
a post, where he left me in care of one of the hands.
Here I remained for several hours, unvisited by either
of my companions, who were told, as I afterwards
learned, that if they attempted to go near me, they
would be dealt with after a fashion not at all pleasant
to think about.

You may be sure that I was sober enough by sundown.
My friends—brandy, gin, and whisky—who
had inspired me with such a fine flow of spirits, and
such a recklessness of consequences, withdrew the
light of their countenances, and left me sad, spiritless,
and repentant of my folly. What penalty I was about
to suffer, I could not tell. Off-hand justice is never
very partial to the culprit—of this I was well aware,
and with good reason dreaded the unknown punishment

in store for me. We had passed Steubenville a
few miles, when, soon after the sun dipped below the
horizon, the boat came near the shore, on the opposite
side of the river, and I was unceremoniously landed.

A faint cheer went up from the deck of the steamboat,
as she swung off into the channel and resumed
her course.

You may be sure that I was as sober as a judge at
this stage of the adventure; and not only sober, but as
heartily ashamed of my folly as a man could well be.

The place selected for my landing was miles away
from any house, at least on that side of the river.
High hills, densely covered with wood, arose almost
from the water's edge. The thought of passing the
night there alone made me shudder.

Seating myself on a fallen tree, I turned my eyes
first up and then down the river, in the hope of seeing
a boat come in sight. Thus I remained until the
darkness closed in; and still there was no sign of
deliverance. As the sun went below the horizon, a
heavy mass of clouds arose, and gradually spread
over the sky. Not a star, therefore, twinkled in the
firmament. As the night came down the wind arose;
and an occasional flash of lightning heralded an approaching
storm. Soon the rain came pattering
down; and, in a little while, a fierce tempest was
rushing and roaring around me. So dark had it become,
that I could only see to the distance of a few
paces, except when broad flashes of lightning illuminated
the whole horizon. Cowering for shelter at
the root of a great tree, I endured the drenching of

the storm for nearly two hours. Twice during this
time, as the lightning made all, for a moment, clear as
day, I saw a steamboat moving by, and each time
halloed with all my might; but my voice was lost
amid the din of clashing elements.

The whole of that night I passed alone, in my exposed
condition, suffering more in body and mind
than I can well express in words. At day dawn,
every joint was stiff and painful, and my skin dry,
and hot with fever. It was ten o'clock before I was
taken off by a boat on her way down the river.
When I arrived at W—, my native place, I was too
ill to stand on my feet, and had, therefore, to be carried
on shore.

Two months' confinement to my chamber with a
severe rheumatic fever, and a year's after suffering
from the unexpelled remnants of the disease, were the
penalties I suffered for my drunken frolic.

After that, I was more shy of my particular friends,
brandy, gin, and rum; and finally cut them altogether
as disreputable acquaintances, who were more likely
to get me into trouble, than be of any real advantage
to me.

As for my partners in this wild scrape, they thought
it prudent, after the summary dealings I had met with
from the captain, to behave a little more decently. By
the time they reached Pittsburg, they were cooled
off entirely, and so ashamed of themselves, and concerned
about me, that they hid their diminished heads.
Early on the next day they took passage for home;
and had the satisfaction—if satisfaction it may be

called—of seeing me relieved from my long sojourn
on the river shore; for I was taken off by the boat in
which they were finding their way back. Our meeting,
you may be sure, was not of the most joyous character.
We had all paid pretty dearly for our sport;
though my bill on that occasion was much the
heaviest.