University of Virginia Library

Friday, P. M.
FRIENDSHIP.

“Friendship is a term, much insisted
on by young people; but, like many others, more
frequently used than understood. A friend, with
girls in general, is an intimate acquaintance,
whose taste and pleasures are similar to their own;
who will encourage, or at least connive at their
foibles and faults, and communicate with them
every secret; in particular those of love and gallantry,
in which those of the other sex are concerned.
By such friends, their errors and stratagems
are flattered and concealed, while the prudent
advice of real friendship is neglected, till
they find, too late, how fictitious a character, and
how vain a dependence they have chosen.

“Augusta and Serena were educated at the
same school, resided in the same neighbourhood,
and were equally volatile in their tempers, and
dissipated in their manners. Hence every plan of
amusement was concerted and enjoyed together.
At the play, the ball, the card-table,
and every other party of pleasure, they were
companions.

“Their parents saw that this intimacy strengthened
the follies of each; and strove to disengage
their affections, that they might turn their attention
to more rational entertainments, and more
judicious advisers. But they gloried in their
friendship, and thought it a substitute for every
other virtue. They were the dupes of adulation,
and the votaries of coquetry.

“The attentions of a libertine, instead of putting
them on their guard against encroachments,
induced them to triumph in their fancied conquests,
and to boast of resolution sufficient to
shield them from delusion.

“Love, however, which, with such dispositions,
is the pretty play-thing of imagination, assailed
the tender heart of Serena. A gay youth,
with more wit than sense, more show than substance,
more art than honesty, took advantage of
her weakness to ingratiate himself into her favour,
and persuade her they could not live without
each other. Augusta was the confident of Serena.
She fanned the flame, and encouraged her
resolution of promoting her own felicity, though
at the expense of every other duty. Her parents
suspected her amour, remonstrated against the
man, and forbad her forming any connexion
with him, on pain of their displeasure. She apparently
acquiesced; but flew to Augusta for
counsel and relief. Augusta soothed her anxiety,
and promised to assist her in the accomplishment

of all her wishes. She accordingly contrived
means for a clandestine intercourse, both personal
and epistolary.

“Aristus was a foreigner, and avowed his purpose
of returning to his native country, urging
her to accompany him. Serena had a fortune,
independent of her parents, left her by a deceased
relation. This, with her hand, she consented to
give to her lover, and to quit a country, in which
she acknowledged but one friend. Augusta praised
her fortitude, and favoured her design. She
accordingly eloped and embarked. Her parents
were almost distracted by her imprudent and
undutiful conduct; and their resentment fell on
Augusta, who had acted contrary to all the dictates
of integrity and friendship, in contributing
to her ruin; for ruin it proved. Her ungrateful
paramour, having rioted on the property
which she bestowed, abandoned her to want and
despair. She wrote to her parents, but received
no answer. She represented her case to Augusta,
and implored relief from her friendship; but
Augusta alleged that she had already incurred
the displeasure of her family on her account, and
chose not again to subject herself to censure by
the same means.

“Serena at length returned to her native shore,
and applied in person to Augusta, who coolly
told her that she wished no intercourse with a
vagabond, and then retired. Her parents refused

to receive her into their house; but, from motives
of compassion and charity, granted her a
small annuity, barely sufficient to keep her and
her infant from want.

“Too late she discovered her mistaken notions
of friendship; and learned by sad experience, that
virtue must be its foundation, or sincerity and
constancy can never be its reward.

“Sincerity and constancy are essential ingredients
in virtuous friendship. It invariably seeks
the permanent good of its object; and in so
doing, will advise, caution and reprove, with all
the frankness of undissembled affection. In the
interchange of genuine friendship, flattery is utterly
excluded. Yet, even in the most intimate
connexions of this kind, a proper degree of respect,
attention, and politeness, must be observed.
You are not so far to presume on the partiality
of friendship, as to hazard giving offence, and
wounding the feelings of persons, merely because
you think their regard for you will plead your
excuse, and procure your pardon. Equally cautious
should you be, of taking umbrage at circumstances
which are undesignedly offensive.

“Hear the excellent advice of the wise son of
Sirach, upon this subject:

“Admonish thy friend; it may be he hath
not done it; and if he have done it, that he do
it no more. Admonish thy friend; it may be
he hath not said it; and if he have, that he

speak it not again. Admonish thy friend; for
many times it is a slander; and believe not every
tale. There is one that slippeth in his speech,
but not from his heart; and who is he that offendeth
not with his tongue?”

“Be not hasty in forming friendships; but
deliberately examine the principles, disposition,
temper, and manners, of the person you wish to
sustain this important character. Be well assured
that they are agreeable to your own, and such as
merit your entire esteem and confidence, before
you denominate her your friend. You may have
many general acquaintances, with whom you are
pleased and entertained; but in the chain of
friendship there is a still closer link.

“But, if you would have friends, you must
show yourselves friendly; that is, you must be
careful to act the part you wish from another.
If your friend have faults, mildly and tenderly
represent them to her; but conceal them as much
as possible from the observation of the world.
Endeavour to convince her of her errors, to

rectify her mistakes, and to confirm and increase
every virtuous sentiment.

“Should she so far deviate, as to endanger her
reputation and happiness; and should your admonitions
fail to reclaim her, become not, like
Augusta, an abettor of her crimes. It is not the
part of friendship to hide transactions which will
end in the ruin of your friend. Rather acquaint
those who ought to have the rule over her of her
intended misteps, and you will have discharged
your duty; you will merit, and very probably
may afterwards receive, her thanks.

“Narciffa and Florinda were united in the
bonds of true and generous friendship. Narciffa
was called to spend a few months with a relation
in the metropolis, where she became acquainted
with, and attached to a man who was much her
inferior; but whose specious manners and appearance
deceived her youthful heart, though
her reason and judgment informed her, that her
parents would disapprove the connexion. When
she returned home, the consciousness of her fault,
the frankness which she owed to her friend, and
her partiality to her lover, wrought powerfully
upon her mind, and rendered her melancholy.
Florinda soon explored the cause, and warmly remonstrated
against her imprudence in holding a
moment's intercourse with a man, who, she knew,
would be displeasing to her parents. She searched
out his character, and found it far inadequate to

Narcissa's merit. This she represented to her in
its true colours, and conjured her not to sacrifice
her reputation, her duty, and her happiness, by
encouraging his addresses: but to no purpose
were her expostulations. Narcissa avowed the
design of permitting him to solicit the consent of
her parents, and the determination of marrying
him without it, if they refused.

“Florinda was alarmed at this resolution; and,
with painful anxiety, saw the danger of her
friend. She told her plainly, that the regard she
had for her demanded a counteraction of her
design; and that if she found no other way of
preventing its execution, she should discharge her
duty by informing her parents of her proceedings.
This Narcissa resented, and immediately
withdrew her confidence and familiarity; but
the faithful Florinda neglected not the watchful
solicitude of friendship; and when she perceived
that Narcissa's family were resolutely opposed to
her projected match, and that Narcissa was preparing
to put her rash purpose into execution, she
made known the plan which she had concerted,
and by that mean prevented her destruction.
Narcissa thought herself greatly injured, and declared
that she would never forgive so flagrant a
breach of fidelity. Florinda endeavoured to convince
her of her good intentions, and the real
kindness of her motives; but she refused to hear
the voice of wisdom, till a separation from her

lover, and a full proof of his unworthiness,
opened her eyes to a sight of her own folly and
indiscretion, and to a lively sense of Florinda's
friendship, in saving her from ruin without her
consent. Her heart overflowed with gratitude to
her generous preserver. She acknowledged herself
indebted to Florinda's benevolence, for deliverance
from the baneful impetuosity of her
own passions. She sought and obtained forgiveness;
and ever after lived in the strictest amity
with her faithful benefactress.”