University of Virginia Library

1. CHAPTER I.

“You will be surprised to learn that this letter
is written in bed, on a large old portfolio of yours,
while I am propped up with chairs and pillows behind;
all during the doctor's absence, and against
the urgent entreaties of the whole house.

“I have been ill, Chevillere, exceedingly ill.
You, no doubt, recollect the threats I made to
charge my system with miasma, and thereby take
on the fever-and-ague, by way of making myself
interesting. I had little thought then of the reality,
or how soon that reality would come.

“It has come; and, I hope, has gone; but not

the fever-and-ague. I had an ague, it is true, and
fever after it; but the latter, I believe, kept up a
more continued fire upon my system than intermittents
ever do. Strange too, that when this
attack came upon me without my bidding, I never
once thought of my former interesting schemes;
nor (as it seems to me now) did I think much of
any thing, except the taste of the medicines.

“I can recollect when I thought it must be a
strange and dismal experience—that of the sick
chamber. It is no such thing. I have vague and
ill-defined recollections of hot days and restless
nights, perhaps; but all the other experience seems
like a long dreamy period of existence.

“Nature seems to provide us against the misery
of conscious suffering, by turning our ideas upon
trifles and childish vexations. A man who is ill
with a malignant fever, is an object of dread and
commiseration to his acquaintance, who exclaim,
`How horrible! how dreadful a thing it is!' And
this with regard to his physical sufferings, and in
anticipation of immediate dissolution of soul and
body. We attempt to picture to ourselves what
his thoughts must be.

“What is the invalid himself doing all this while?
He is begging for cold water; quarrelling with the
taste of villanous drugs, and abusing his nurse, if
the fever has just then remitted a little. And as
for his thoughts—he has none beyond these things;
his mind is a blank; the past and the future are
obliterated.

“The rational creature is lost in the predominating
exigencies of the animal; the mind seems to
lose the power of combining any but the simple
sensations.

“I have not reflected much upon the causes of
these things, because my own mind has but too
lately recovered from that very state. I merely
give the facts of my own experience, because I
know you are fond of gathering up these little unnoticed
things, and arranging them with your other
natural curiosities.

“But I have not told you half yet; my mind
was in a worse state even than that just described;
it was entirely in eclipse. Of that I know nothing
except what Virginia has told me.

“You see, I do not call her Bell any more, nor
do I mean to do so; the reason, perhaps, I may be
able to tell you before they take the paper away
from me.

“The name Bell, short and alone, somehow
suited her character, as I then understood it, as
well as my feelings towards her. She seemed to
me a lively, intelligent little romp, and I loved her
as such. I did not then think myself capable of
feeling any stronger attachment for any other
character of beauty, or for any deeper or more
profound characteristics of the female heart. Indeed,
I doubt whether I knew of, or believed in,
the existence of any better foundation for an
attachment.

“Poor, fickle-hearted man! I have changed

already. Be not alarmed, Chevillere; I have not
gone out of the family; I have only changed from
Bell to Virginia.

“Now can you solve this truly profound enigma?
No. Then I must unravel the mystery for you.

“First then, I have not spoken to her once of
love, unless it was during the two days that I was
deranged; and to tell you the truth, I have some
shrewd suspicion that I did broach the subject
then; nay more, that I did much better for myself
than if I had been sane in mind. This is a left-handed
compliment to myself, but I cannot help it,
as I cannot challenge myself. Something that I
did or said, during those two days, has certainly
revolutionized her whole conduct towards me, and
every one else in my presence. She has changed
towards me, and hence my change towards her.
I thought her the most charming girl in existence
before; now I have different feelings. Charming
she certainly is, but charming is too cold a term—
too much the word of a stranger, to express my
feelings any longer. They are more respectful
now—but more of this at another time.

“Old Tombo has been my constant attendant,
because I preferred him, it seems, to any of the
house servants. He has been devoted to me. I
suppose he little thought that I once had a design
to drown him.

“When I returned to sane views of things, the
doctor had gone. I awoke out of a profound
sleep, and found myself lying on my back, with my

face towards the ceiling. In a short time my recollection
was perfect of every thing which happened
previous to the two days. I lay in that state collecting
my thoughts a few moments, and then
slowly and silently turned my head towards the
centre of the room. Virginia sat there reading intently.
She was paler and thinner than usual, and
her countenance so complete a mirror of her
thoughts, that I imagined I could almost read there
what she read in the book. I had never seen the
same look before, and was struck with it. I at first
thought it nothing more than the result of my wayward
fancies coming over me again, for I knew
that something had been wrong with me. I closed
my eyes to recover myself, in order to try again;
still her countenance was sad, absorbed, and
deeply thoughtful. I never saw a more wonderful
change; there was not an expression of the thoughtless
school-girl there.

“It was the woman I saw, in propria persona;
not that she has numbered more than eighteen
years, and that is a long age of feeling; but that
she appeared now so calm, dignified, and sensible;
her beautiful upper lip convulsively tremulous
with deep sympathetic feelings. It was this chord
which first caused my own nervous vibrations.
The nether lip, the eye, and even the cheeks are
obedient in some measure to the will, in expressing
either pathetic or ludicrous ideas. But show me
a tragedian who can convulse the upper lip in those
little (almost) nameless vibrations, which come

from, and go straight to, the heart,—and I will
show you a consummate master of his art.

“You see I go upon the ground that he can first
operate upon his own feelings sufficiently to touch
this delicate chord, for I hold that it is obedient
to no other monitor.

“Is this observation the result of a diseased
mind? Look at those who have had that organ
paralyzed; let them weep; and I think you will
see a horrid confirmation of my opinions. Or on
the other hand, deeply touch the feelings of a sensitive
child or woman, and note the result; I will
abide by your judgment.

“I saw that her feelings were not only deeply
affected by what she read, but all her sensibilities
were attuned to a state of thrilling vibration for
which I had never given her credit.

“It was my ignorance of this, no doubt, which
caused her playful and artificial manner towards
me, or in other words, she had not until lately (if
now) a very exalted idea of my penetration. Consequently
she could not have formed a high opinion
of my understanding, for penetration is but the eye
of the soul. No one can go beyond his own profundity,
in penetrating the obscure origin of looks,
feelings, and passions in another; and we can
generally go, I think, about to our own depth.

“Our opinion of another depends much upon his
opinion of us. This has generally been ascribed
to selfishness in the human heart, and an inordinate

avidity for flattery; but it has likewise a deeper
foundation.

“Fools, no doubt, may admire each other for the
pleasure and satisfaction which the thing affords;
but wise men have other interchanges besides the
feelings and passions. First there is the magnetic
influence (I have no other name for it), which will
open a secret intercourse and understanding between
two persons, in a room where scores of
duller mortals may be standing by, none the wiser.
It is not purely magnetic, because a word or a hint
will sometimes open the door before the secret
influence.

“I have been hitherto a most unfortunate fellow
in this respect, for I never could get a great man
to receive the magnetic stream from me. You see
the devil is not entirely cast out.

“But seriously, let the change in Virginia be
owing to what it may, the fact was incontro-vertible.

“There she sat, as completely metamorphosed
as the shoemaker's wife in the play. There was
nothing to intercept my view except the mosquito
nets which here surround all your beds, instead of
the curtains which are used in the middle and, I
suppose, in the northern states.

“A full quarter of an hour elapsed while the
foregoing ideas passed through my mind, before
the death-like silence of the sick-chamber was disturbed
by a single sound louder than an occasional
sigh from the beautiful girl. But a quarter of an

hour, short as it was, sufficed to induct me into
more of the mysterious and subdued operations of
the female heart and mind, than many months'
previous experience while my blood was warm,
my pulsations impetuous, and my actions produced
by direct impulses of the moment.

“You, Chevillere, have preceded me in these
observations. You seemed from the first to have
been endowed with an intuitive perception of these
things. At least, you manifested a secret and undefined
dread of prematurely encountering such
little magazines of combustible feeling.

“But now, it seems, you are about to explode
in a genuine Guy Faux affair, after being frightened
at a pop-gun. This is always the way with
you silent abstracted gentlemen; you avoid the
little school romances which beset your companions
from the year 14, until you get the credit of being
very unsusceptible young men, and are set down
by the little gay creatures as incipient bachelors.

“But a day of retribution comes at last. The
experience which others have been drawing in
through that long, long age of minority, is in your
case concentrated into a single year, month, or
week.

“But how prosing sickness has made me. While
you are asking for bread, I am giving you a stone.

“`Miss Virginia,' said I, softly (it used to be
Miss Bell); she dropped the book and sprung to
her feet like one who had been electrified.

“`Do you feel better, Mr. Randolph?' she asked,

at the same time gently tapping the floor with the
handle of a riding switch, kept there for that purpose.

“`I do feel better, my dear young lady,' said I,
stretching out my hand.

“My own voice frightened me; it came as if
from the bottom of a sepulchre. My bony hand
slipped from under the bedclothes like a smuggled
piece of anatomy; she placed her warm throbbing
little hand in mine; it felt as if it had a heart within
its soft and pure outlines; I denied myself the
reviving pleasure, and withdrew my hand, as a
deformed man would withdraw the defective
member.

“At this moment your mother entered on tiptoe,
and seeing Virginia standing by the bedside
with the netting in her hand, she approached and
laid her hand upon my forehead.

“`Dear Mr. Randolph,' said she, `do you feel
better?' in her peculiarly mild and benignant tones,
and feeling my pulse like a novice. `O, I know
you are better; the doctor thought your sleep
would restore you. Thank God! you know not
what we have suffered, both on your account
and our own; but I am afraid we have made you
talk too much. Compose yourself, my dear sir,
and I will watch by your bedside.'

“Now, Chevillere, I admire, and honour, and
love your mother almost as much as I did my own;
but I love her neice's company better. The idea
instantly occurred to me that Virginia would come

back again if I fell into a slumber; so I pretended
to enjoy a very comfortable nap. As I expected,
your mother withdrew on tiptoe, and Virginia
returned to her post.

“I saw that she had been weeping. She still
held the same book in her hand, but I was too vain
to attribute the tears to the influence of its contents.
I lay and enjoyed one of the most delightful
periods I recollect ever to have spent. My
system was cool and comfortable; not a particle
of disease was left. My eyes were just closed
enough to catch a shadowy outline of her figure
and profile through the eyelids. I was determined
not again to disturb my own comfortable reveries,
and had just fixed myself with a good deal of complacency
to enjoy the delicious present, when, behold!
I fell asleep in earnest.

“Did you ever fall asleep just as you had sat
down to a magnificent dinner, with fine wine and
fine company, and slept till the dinner was eat up
and the company gone? That was precisely my
case. I awoke and found I had fallen asleep under
the most atrocious circumstances, perhaps, that
ever a man snored in,—not excepting deacons,
elders, town clerks, and cooks on a summer Sunday.
The delicious meal which I had laid out for
my eyes was gone, and old Tombo sat there in
her place. When I awoke, I turned my head
slowly towards the spot, as I had done before, and
slowly raised the lids in a lazy, luxurious, and valetudinarian
style, until they beheld—the devil! I

thought, indeed, it was he at first; so ugly did old
Tombo look from very contrast.

“`Tombo!' said I, `how came you here?'

“`Up the stars, masta.'

“I smiled, for the first time, I suppose, in many
days; for Tombo seemed to be tickled at the sight
of my teeth.

“`Tombo,' said I, `sit near, and tell me all the
things I have been saying within the last two days,
especially those things I said when your young
mistress was in the room.'

“`I can't, sir, axing your pardon.'

“`Why not, Tombo?'

“`'Cause why, Miss Bell been tell me no, and I
tink I find it bery hard to say him ober again.'

“`O, never mind what Miss Bell told you; she
only told you so on my account; come, tell it out.
I will explain to your young mistress that I ordered
you to tell me; if you can't repeat the words, let
me know what it was about, for the most part.'

“`O! I can tell what it was about, for it was
all the same ting, and that was Miss Bell heself;
and fine talk I calls it too; I told 'em in the kitchen
that you been no more crazy than the doctor heself.'

“`What did I say about Miss Bell, Tombo?'

“`O, Lord, sir, I can't speak him, but he make
her cry for true, some time; and misses cry too,
and I can't say but I swallo'd bery hard myself;
more, maybe, from what the doctor says than what
you said.'

“I told him to hand me a looking-glass. I had
been picking the skin off my finger bones, and
holding them up occasionally to look at them, until
I began to feel some curiosity to see my phiz!

“And a precious piece of anatomy I saw; head
shaved close, and a sheepskin plaster over it, like
a bald crown; face as sharp as a handsaw, and
features, good imitation of the teeth thereof; ears
sticking out in bold relief like two handles to a
tub; lips covered with fever scales; neck long
and stringy; eyes drawn in like a turtle's head;
nose sticking out by itself like the cutwater of a
ship, and skin like a tanned sheepskin. An interesting
plight for a hero of a love affair! I had not finished
admiring myself when Virginia again entered
on tiptoe, expecting, no doubt, to find me still
asleep. She started back in astonishment, when
she saw Tombo holding the glass before my face.
I motioned to him to take it away, and begged Virginia
not to rap on the floor, which I saw she was
about to do, as I did not wish to disturb your mother.
I declared myself much better, and begged
her to be seated a few moments. She did so.

“ `Have I said any thing during the two last
days which would have been improper if it had
been said in my sane moments?'

“ `Nothing, sir, but—'

“ `But what?'

“ `You said many things of which you seldom
thought when you were well.'

“ `Indeed! what were they?'

“ `It would be useless, sir, to rehearse them, and
might injure you to hear them.'

“ `Not at all; on the contrary, the restlessness
of anxiety will injure me if I do not hear them,
especially those things in which your own name
was mentioned.'

“ `I cannot repeat them, sir; I have no doubt
my aunt will, if the doctor approves of it.'

“ `Tell me, then, do you think a maniac displays
any thing of the operations of his mind in his
sounder moments?'

“ `To tell you candidly, then, I think he does.'

“ `Will you tell me why you think so?'

“ `Because most of a maniac's discourses are
retrospective; detached and disjointed, it is true,
but still momentarily calling upon that stock of
ideas which has been treasured up in by-gone days;
but, sir, I think this a very improper subject for you
to converse upon at present.'

“ `Not at all; I feel as strong in lungs and intellect
as I ever did in my life.'

“Your mother came in just at this moment, and
sent Virginia down to receive some visiters, male
and female, from the refugees' sandhill village.

“I feel now what it is to be stretched out here,
not able to wink an eye at a rival; but I shall recruit
apace, at least as long as they stay. They
have been trying to get the paper from me this half
hour, but I will not give it up yet; I tell them that
it soothes and calms me like an opiate.

“Since I wrote the above, the doctor has called.

He is a better specimen of the cloth than I expected
to find here—gentlemanly, sensible, and discreet.
I asked him, when there was no one present
but Tombo, what I had said about Virginia in my
two days of mental eclipse? He answered, that I
was a very impassioned lover for a philosopher,
and laughed heartily.

“I suspect that he suspects me of not being too
sound in my most rational moments. What, in the
name of the seven wonders, does he mean by
philosopher? But I will be at the bottom of all
these things, before I get on my legs again. In the
mean time, the change in Virginia occupies our
attention.

“I begin to doubt very seriously whether she
is such a real, natural, and unsophisticated character
as I first described her to you in my letter of
that period.

“At a certain age, far within twenty, girls of a
good deal of ingenuity may make almost any character
seem natural to them, especially if they have
vivacity to support it. Nay, they may stamp
that character upon themselves for life, if it is
much admired. They do not at that age study
themselves; they do not know that the character
which they have assumed is an artificial one; but
of course there is just enough of nature, and artlessness,
and unaffectedness, to make it captivating
to our sex.

“It depends entirely upon their adventures in
the world, just at this time of setting out, what turn

this girlish vivacity will take. An early disappointment
will temper their sprightliness into a
very discreet carriage, and sometimes make them
sad and melancholy all their days.

“In these times of convenient matches, the
whole world is full of this sadness and melancholy;
not affected melancholy, but real and true sorrowing
after the gay and brilliant dreams of their
youth; a yearning for the scenes and associates of
their childhood.

“Happy that man and that woman who have
wedded in young life, upon the impulses of the
heart, and have moulded each other's characters
into genuine connubial congeniality. I have frequently
seen old couples who had been united in
early life, and had lived so long together that they
actually resembled each other in feature, face, and
expression.

“Your cousin's mind is much more like yours
than I had at first supposed. She endeavours to
penetrate into the results of experience without its
pains and penalties. Oh! how much you both
have the advantage of me there. I plunge headlong
into every thing, and then I can study very
ingeniously how to get out. I really believe that
I improve by experience; but no other schooling
can make me wise.

“But you and Virginia seem to make it your
study to suck honey from the flowers strewed in
your path, without touching the thorns; 'tis a
heaven-born gift, therefore cherish it. I, on the

contrary, plunge up to the neck in thorns after a
single flower, and then pay some one to help me
out, with the very thing for which I jumped in.
What does experience avail a man, when the occasion
for using the knowledge he gains by it, vanishes
with it. It is an experience which comes
too late.

“It is very common to suppose, indeed to say,
that these prudent and discreet characters are dull
and prosing. There can be no more pernicious
mistake, nor one more calculated to lead would-be
geniuses into follies and erratic vices. Thus copying
the errors of some fatal genius they find themselves
in the midst of follies and crimes, without
the excuse of genius, or the genius to get out of
them.

“The finest combination of talents in the world,
is that which can lead a man to fold his arms and
stand as a spectator upon the actions of others,
drinking in that wisdom of experience through his
eyes and ears, which another must have lashed
into his back. Scott and Napoleon are two fine
examples of this genius preceding experience, and
Byron of the opposite.

“It is doubtful in my mind whether Byron might
not have been a very different character if his
`Hours of Idleness' had been suffered to die a natural
death, and had he never been lashed into the production
of `English Bards and Scotch Reviewers.'
This result would have been still more probable,
had he married the lady of his youthful love. This

opinion of the noble poet you may take as the
product of a mind diseased, if you like. The truth
is, there are so many conversations, lives, memoirs,
&c. of Byron, from Leigh Hunt up to Moore, that
we on this side of the Atlantic have not the materials,
in an authentic form, wherewith to make up
our opinions.

“And now that the time and paper allowed me
are drawing to an end, permit me to allude to a
subject upon which we exchanged letters before
setting out.

“I promised to give you my poor views of the
gradual change of opinion, of population, and of
circumstances, and of the future prospects of Virginia.

“The truth is, I have found things here which
interested me so deeply that I of course thought
they would interest you too; but when my health
is restored, and present objects lose their novelty
a little, you shall be welcome to any observations
which I have made with regard to my native
state; always giving the first place, however, to
whatever concerns her little namesake.

“Tell Lamar that I consider much of our correspondence,
on both sides, as joint stock.

“Believe me to be your much chastened and
sobered chum.