University of Virginia Library

15. CHAPTER XV.

“The little coincidences of real life are of much
more frequent occurrence than is generally allowed
by our prim historians. Arthur and his companion
had not long departed, when Lamar and Damon
came in. I mentioned their visit to the former,
when, picking up the card and examining it with
evident surprise, he placed his finger upon the number
of the street, and held it across the table for
Damon to see it, who immediately exclaimed,
`Well! I'm flambergasted now! if that ain't what
I call a leetle particular.'

“ `Why, what is the matter?' said I, astonished
in my turn at their astonishment.

“ `Oh, nothing more,' said Lamar, `than that
Damon and myself have but just come from the
very door upon which that name and number are
placed.'

“ `Are you acquainted with the family?' said I.

“ `No,' replied he; `I was standing opposite to
the door in question, when a young lady alighted
from her carriage and entered the house; not,

however, before she suddenly stopped and took a
searching look at your humble servant.'

“ `Had you ever seen her before?'

“ `If I am not mistaken she is the same young
lady whom I saw two years ago at the Virginia
springs, when I obtained leave from college to go
there on account of my health; she was then
quite young; just entering her teens, I should
suppose.'

“ `Ah! ha! have I caught you at last?' said I,
as Lamar began to redden under a searching
glance; `then there was some foundation for the
stories which followed you upon that occasion.'

“ `Bah!' said he, `they were all nonsense; but
come, Damon, tell Chevillere what fine stump
speeches you heard this morning at a New-York
election.'

“I saw his drift in amusing me with Damon, and
I was indeed quite willing to be so amused.

“ `Smash me if I heard any speeches,' said Damon,
`nor saw any candidates either; they manage
them things here quite after a different fashion.'

“ `Why, how do they manage them, if they
have no candidates and no speeches?' said I.

“ `By the art of hocus pocus, I believe,' continued
Damon; `I had whetted my appetite for a
New-York speech till I was completely on a wire
edge, by the time we got to the polls; then they
had a parcel of chaps standing behind a little counter,
with gold headed poles, like freemasons in a
cake-shop, playing at long-pole with the boys.

Why! where's the election,' said I, to a chap outside
the counter, with one black eye too many.
`Right under your nose,' said he; `clap down your
tickets and kiss the calf-skin, as I did just now;'
and then he cramm'd my hands full of little bits of
paper. `H—l in the West,' said I, `are we going
to have no speeches, no drink, no fighten?' `O!'
said he, `there's plenty of drink in the bar-room
next door, and you can get your stomach full of
fight, if you will walk down to the Five Points.'

“ `And how do the people know whom they vote
for?' said I to Lamar.

“His answer satisfied me that Damon's account
of the business was nearly correct as to matters of
fact; and that the New-Yorkers never have what
we call `stump speeches,' and never personally
know, or even see their representatives. These
city mobocracies, composed as they are, principally
of wild Irish, are terrible things; but I must
adhere to our bargain, to have nothing to do with
politics.

“Lamar has evidently ripped up an old wound
this morning, and I am truly rejoiced thereat; we
shall take an early day to pay the visit spoken of,
at which time I shall observe the gentleman's
movements, and see if I cannot treasure up a little
ammunition for future use, wherewithal to pay off
old scores against him.

“You recollect, perhaps, the old woman's comfort
in a time of great famine; `she thanked God
her neighbours were as bad off as herself.' I find

very little comfort in this truly philanthropic doctrine,
save from occasionally amusing myself with
anticipations of Lamar's more fashionable dilemma.

“The Kentuckian's pulsations seem to be regulated
by a gigantic and equipoised animal impulse.
There is very little sinking of the heart in gloomy
anticipation, with him; he enjoys the present, uninterrupted
by the past or future. After all, are
not these hardy and free sons of the west the happiest
of all created beings? They enjoy nearly
every thing that we do, perhaps not exactly in the
same degree, but certainly with as much of the
heart, if not so much of the head; I really envy
Damon his hearty and joyous laughs, such as I
could once indulge in myself, and I have often
asked what is it that has made the change? Can
you answer the question, Randolph?

“I once thought that you and Lamar would
laugh it on through life, but it seems that you have
scarcely started, each in his distinct career, before
you begin sowing the seeds of your future sorrows,
don't be frightened; it is the appointed race we
must all run, sooner or later; we cannot be joyous
and jovial college-lads all our days; but we may,
and I hope will, be calm and tranquil old country
gentlemen.

“But pshaw! I grow old before my time; `sufficient
for the day is the evil thereof;' lay that
flattering unction to your soul, and all will soon be
well, that is now ill with you.

“The more I see of these northern states, the

more I am convinced that some great revolution
awaits our own cherished communities. Revolutions,
whether sudden or gradual, are fearful things;
we learn to feel attachments to those things which
they tear up, as a poor cripple feels attached to
the mortified limb, that must be amputated to save
his life. A line of demarkation in such a case is
distinctly drawn between the diseased and the
healthy flesh. Such a line is now drawing between
the slave and free states, I fear. God send
that the disease may be cured without amputation,
and before mortification takes place. I know that
this latter is your own belief. What think you
now, since you have seen the greater extent of the
disease? Truly,