University of Virginia Library

5. CHAP. V.

The writer of a history may, in some respects,
be likened unto an adventurous knight, who having
undertaken a perilous enterprize, by way of establishing
his fame, feels bound in honour and chivalry,
to turn back for no difficulty nor hardship,
and never to shrink or quail whatever enemy he
may encounter. Under this impression, I resolutely
draw my pen and fall to, with might and
main, at those doughty questions and subtle paradoxes,
which, like fiery dragons and bloody giants,
beset the entrance to my history, and would fain
repulse me from the very threshold. And at this
moment a gigantic question has started up, which
I must take by the beard and utterly subdue, before
I can advance another step in my historick undertaking—but
I trust this will be the last adversary I
shall have to contend with, and that in the next
book, I shall be enabled to conduct my readers in
triumph into the body of my work.

The question which has thus suddenly arisen,
is, what right had the first discoverers of America

to land, and take possession of a country, without
asking the consent of its inhabitants, or yielding
them an adequate compensation for their territory?

My readers shall now see with astonishment,
how easily I will vanquish this gigantic doubt,
which has so long been the terror of adventurous
writers; which has withstood so many fierce assaults,
and has given such great distress of mind to
multitudes of kind-hearted folks. For, until this
mighty question is totally put to rest, the worthy
people of America can by no means enjoy the soil
they inhabit, with clear right and title, and quiet,
unsullied consciences.

The first source of right, by which property is
acquired in a country, is DISCOVERY. For as all
mankind have an equal right to any thing, which
has never before been appropriated, so any nation,
that discovers an uninhabited country, and takes
possession thereof, is considered as enjoying full
property, and absolute, unquestionable empire
therein.[19]

This proposition being admitted, it follows
clearly, that the Europeans who first visited America,
were the real discoverers of the same; nothing
being necessary to the establishment of this fact,
but simply to prove that it was totally uninhabited
by man. This would at first appear to be a point

of some difficulty, for it is well known, that this
quarter of the world abounded with certain animals,
that walked erect on two feet, had something
of the human countenance, uttered certain unintelligible
sounds, very much like language, in short,
had a marvellous resemblance to human beings.
But the host of zealous and enlightened fathers,
who accompanied the discoverers, for the purpose
of promoting the kingdom of heaven, by establishing
fat monasteries and bishopricks on earth, soon
cleared up this point, greatly to the satisfaction of
his holiness the pope, and of all Christian voyagers
and discoverers.

They plainly proved, and as there were no Indian
writers arose on the other side, the fact was
considered as fully admitted and established, that
the two legged race of animals before mentioned,
were mere cannibals, detestable monsters, and many
of them giants—a description of vagrants, that
since the times of Gog, Magog and Goliath, have
been considered as outlaws, and have received no
quarter in either history, chivalry or song; indeed,
even the philosopher Bacon, declared the Americans
to be people proscribed by the laws of nature,
inasmuch as they had a barbarous custom of sacrificing
men, and feeding upon man's flesh.

Nor are these all the proofs of their utter barbarism:
among many other writers of discernment,
the celebrated Ulloa tells us “their imbecility is so

visible, that one can hardly form an idea of them
different from what one has of the brutes. Nothing
disturbs the tranquillity of their souls, equally insensible
to disasters, and to prosperity. Though half
naked, they are as contented as a monarch in his
most splendid array. Fear makes no impression
on them, and respect as little.”—All this is furthermore
supported by the authority of M. Bouguer.
“It is not easy,” says he, “to describe the
degree of their indifference for wealth and all its
advantages. One does not well know what motives
to propose to them when one would persuade
them to any service. It is vain to offer them money,
they answer that they are not hungry.” And
Vanegas confirms the whole, assuring us that
“ambition, they have none, and are more desirous
of being thought strong, than valiant. The objects of
ambition with us, honour, fame, reputation, riches,
posts and distinctions are unknown among them.
So that this powerful spring of action, the cause of
so much seeming good and real evil in the world
has no power over them. In a word, these unhappy
mortals may be compared to children, in whom
the developement of reason is not completed.”

Now all these peculiarities, though in the unenlightened
states of Greece, they would have entitled
their possessors to immortal honour, as
having reduced to practice those rigid and abstemious
maxims, the mere talking about which, acquired

certain old Greeks the reputation of sages
and philosophers;—yet were they clearly proved
in the present instance, to betoken a most abject
and brutified nature, totally beneath the human
character. But the benevolent fathers, who had
undertaken to turn these unhappy savages into
dumb beasts, by dint of argument, advanced still
stronger proofs; for as certain divines of the sixteenth
century, and among the rest Lullus affirm—
the Americans go naked, and have no beards!—
“They have nothing,” says Lullus, “of the reasonable
animal, except the mask.”—And even that
mask was allowed to avail them but little, for it was
soon found that they were of a hideous copper
complexion—and being of a copper complexion, it
was all the same as if they were negroes—and negroes
are black, “and black” said the pious fathers,
devoutly crossing themselves, “is the colour of the
Devil!” Therefore so far from being able to own
property, they had no right even to personal freedom,
for liberty is too radiant a deity, to inhabit
such gloomy temples. All which circumstances
plainly convinced the righteous followers of Cortes
and Pizarro, that these miscreants had no title to
the soil that they infested—that they were a perverse,
illiterate, dumb, beardless, bare-bottomed
black-seed—mere wild beasts of the forests, and like
them should either be subdued or exterminated.

From the foregoing arguments therefore, and a

host of others equally conclusive, which I forbear
to enumerate, it was clearly evident, that this fair
quarter of the globe when first visited by Europeans,
was a howling wilderness, inhabited by nothing
but wild beasts; and that the trans-atlantic
visitors acquired an incontrovertable property therein,
by the right of Discovery.

This right being fully established, we now
come to the next, which is the right acquired by
cultivation. “The cultivation of the soil” we are
told “is an obligation imposed by nature on man
“kind. The whole world is appointed for the
“nourishment of its inhabitants; but it would be
“incapable of doing it, was it uncultivated. Every
“nation is then obliged by the law of nature to
“cultivate the ground that has fallen to its share.
“Those people like the ancient Germans and mo
“dern Tartars, who having fertile countries, disdain
“to cultivate the earth, and choose to live by rapine,
“are wanting to themselves, and deserve to be ex
“terminated as savage and pernicious beasts.”[20]

Now it is notorious, that the savages knew nothing
of agriculture, when first discovered by the
Europeans, but lived a most vagabond, disorderly,
unrighteous life,—rambling from place to place, and
prodigally rioting upon the spontaneous luxuries of
nature, without tasking her generosity to yield

them any thing more; whereas it has been most
unquestionably shewn, that heaven intended the
earth should be ploughed and sown, and manured,
and laid out into cities and towns and farms, and
country seats, and pleasure grounds, and public
gardens, all which the Indians knew nothing about
—therefore they did not improve the talents providence
had bestowed on them—therefore they
were careless stewards—therefore they had no
right to the soil—therefore they deserved to be exterminated.

It is true the savages might plead that they
drew all the benefits from the land which their simple
wants required—they found plenty of game to
hunt, which together with the roots and uncultivated
fruits of the earth, furnished a sufficient variety
for their frugal table;—and that as heaven merely
designed the earth to form the abode, and satisfy
the wants of man; so long as those purposes were
answered, the will of heaven was accomplished.—
But this only proves how undeserving they were
of the blessings around them—they were so much
the more savages, for not having more wants; for
knowledge is in some degree an increase of desires,
and it is this superiority both in the number and
magnitude of his desires, that distinguishes the
man from the beast. Therefore the Indians, in
not having more wants, were very unreasonable
animals; and it was but just that they should make

way for the Europeans, who had a thousand wants
to their one, and therefore would turn the earth to
more account, and by cultivating it, more truly
fulfil the will of heaven. Besides—Grotius and
Lauterbach, and Puffendorff and Titius and a
host of wise men besides, who have considered the
matter properly, have determined, that the property
of a country cannot be acquired by hunting, cutting
wood, or drawing water in it—nothing but
precise demarcation of limits, and the intention of
cultivation, can establish the possession. Now as
the savages (probably from never having read the
authors above quoted) had never complied with
any of these necessary forms, it plainly follows
that they had no right to the soil, but that it was
completely at the disposal of the first comers, who
had more knowledge and more wants than themselves—who
would portion out the soil, with churlish
boundaries; who would torture nature to pamper
a thousand fantastic humours and capricious
appetites; and who of course were far more rational
animals than themselves. In entering upon
a newly discovered, uncultivated country therefore,
the new comers were but taking possession
of what, according to the aforesaid doctrine, was
their own property—therefore in opposing them, the
savages were invading their just rights, infringing
the immutable laws of nature and counteracting the
will of heaven—therefore they were guilty of impiety,
burglary and trespass on the case,—therefore
they were hardened offenders against God and
man—therefore they ought to be exterminated.

But a more irresistible right then either that I
have mentioned, and one which will be the most
readily admitted by my reader, provided he is
blessed with bowels of charity and philanthropy, is
the right acquired by civilization. All the world
knows the lamentable state in which these poor savages
were found. Not only deficient in the comforts
of life, but what is still worse, most piteously
and unfortunately blind to the miseries of their situation.
But no sooner did the benevolent inhabitants
of Europe behold their sad condition than they
immediately went to work to ameliorate and improve
it. They introduced among them the comforts of life,
consisting of rum, gin and brandy—and it is astonishing
to read how soon the poor savages learnt to estimate
these blessings—they likewise made known
to them a thousand remedies, by which the most
inveterate diseases are alleviated and healed, and
that they might comprehend the benefits and enjoy
the comforts of these medicines, they previously
introduced among them the diseases, which they
were calculated to cure. By these and a variety of
other methods was the condition of these poor savages,
wonderfully improved; they acquired a
thousand wants, of which they had before been ignorant,
and as he has most sources of happiness,

who has most wants to be gratified, they were
doubtlessly rendered a much happier race of beings.

But the most important branch of civilization,
and which has most strenuously been extolled,
by the zealous and pious fathers of the Roman
Church, is the introduction of the Christian faith.
It was truly a sight that might well inspire horror,
to behold these savages, stumbling among the dark
mountains of paganism, and guilty of the most horrible
ignorance of religion. It is true, they neither
stole nor defrauded, they were sober, frugal, continent,
and faithful to their word; but though they
acted right habitually, it was all in vain, unless they
acted so from precept. The new comers therefore
used every method, to induce them to embrace and
practice the true religion—except that of setting
them the example.

But notwithstanding all these complicated labours
for their good, such was the unparalleled obstinacy
of these stubborn wretches, that they ungratefully
refused, to acknowledge the strangers as
their benefactors, and persisted in disbelieving the
doctrines they endeavoured to inculcate; most insolently
alledging, that from their conduct, the advocates
of Christianity did not seem to believe in it themselves.
Was not this too much forhum an patience?
—would not one suppose, that the foreign emigrants
from Europe, provoked at their incredulity and
discouraged by their stiff-necked obstinacy, would

forever have abandoned their shores, and consigned
them to their original ignorance and misery?—But
no—so zealous were they to effect the temporal
comfort and eternal salvation of these pagan infidels,
that they even proceeded from the milder
means of persuasion, to the more painful and troublesome
one of persecution—Let loose among
them, whole troops of fiery monks and furious
blood-hounds—purified them by fire and sword,
by stake and faggot; in consequence of which indefatigable
measures, the cause of Christian love
and charity were so rapidly advanced, that in a very
few years, not one fifth of the number of unbelievers
existed in South America, that were found there at
the time of its discovery.

Nor did the other methods of civilization remain
uninforced. The Indians improved daily and wonderfully
by their intercourse with the whites. They
took to drinking rum, and making bargains. They
learned to cheat, to lie, to swear, to gamble, to
quarrel, to cut each others throats, in short, to excel
in all the accomplishments that had originally
marked the superiority of their Christian visitors.
And such a surprising aptitude have they shewn for
these acquirements, that there is very little doubt
that in a century more, provided they survive so
long, the irrisistible effects of civilization; they
will equal in knowledge, refinement, knavery, and

debauchery, the most enlightened, civilized and
orthodox nations of Europe.

What stronger right need the European settlers
advance to the country than this. Have not whole
nations of uninformed savages been made acquainted
with a thousand imperious wants and indispensible
comforts of which they were before wholly
ignorant—Have they not been literally hunted and
smoked out of the dens and lurking places of ignorance
and infidelity, and absolutely scourged into
the right path. Have not the temporal things, the
vain baubles and filthy lucre of this world, which
were too apt to engage their worldly and selfish
thoughts, been benevolently taken from them; and
have they not in lieu thereof, been taught to set
their affections on things above—And finally, to use
the words of a reverend Spanish father, in a letter
to his superior in Spain—“Can any one have the
“presumption to say, that these savage Pagans,
“have yielded any thing more than an inconsidera
“ble recompense to their benefactors; in surren
“dering to them a little pitiful tract of this dirty
“sublunary planet, in exchange for a glorious inhe
“ritance in the kingdom of Heaven!”

Here then are three complete and undeniable
sources of right established, any one of which was
more than ample to establish a property in the newly
discovered regions of America. Now, so it has
happened in certain parts of this delightful quarter

of the globe, that the right of discovery has been
so strenuously asserted—the influence of cultivation
so industriously extended, and the progress of
salvation and civilization so zealously prosecuted,
that, what with their attendant wars, persecutions,
oppressions, diseases, and other partial evils that
often hang on the skirts of great benefits—the savage
aborigines have, some how or another, been
utterly annihilated—and this all at once brings me
to a fourth right, which is worth all the others put
together—For the original claimants to the soil
bring all dead and buried, and no one remaining to
inherit or dispute the soil, the Spaniards as the next
immediate occupants entered upon the possession,
as clearly as the hang-man succeeds to the clothes
of the malefactor—and as they have Blackstone,[21]
and all the learned expounders of the law on their
side, they may set all actions of ejectment at defiance—and
this last right may be entitled, the RIGHT
BY EXTERMINATION, or in other words, the RIGHT
BY GUNPOWDER.

But lest any scruples of conscience should remain
on this head, and to settle the question of right
forever, his holiness Pope Alexander VI, issued
one of those mighty bulls, which bear down reason,
argument and every thing before them; by which
he generously granted the newly discovered quarter

of the globe, to the Spaniards and Portuguese; who,
thus having law and gospel on their side, and being
inflamed with great spiritual zeal, shewed the Pagan
savages neither favour nor affection, but prosecuted
the work of discovery, colonization, civilization,
and extermination, with ten times more fury
than ever.

Thus were the European worthies who first discovered
America, clearly entitled to the soil; and
not only entitled to the soil, but likewise to the
eternal thanks of these infidel savages, for having
come so far, endured so many perils by sea and
land, and taken such unwearied pains, for no other
purpose under heaven but to improve their forlorn,
uncivilized and heathenish condition—for having
made them acquainted with the comforts of life,
such as gin, rum, brandy, and the small-pox; for
having introduced among them the light of religion,
and finally—for having hurried them out of the
world, to enjoy its reward!

But as argument is never so well understood by
us selfish mortals, as when it comes home to ourselves,
and as I am particularly anxious that this
question should be put to rest forever, I will suppose
a parallel case, by way of arousing the candid
attention of my readers.

Let us suppose then, that the inhabitants of the
moon, by astonishing advancement in science, and
by a profound insight into that ineffable lunar philosophy,

the mere flickerings of which, have of late
years, dazzled the feeble optics, and addled the
shallow brains of the good people of our globe—
let us suppose, I say, that the inhabitants of the
moon, by these means, had arrived at such a command
of their energies, such an enviable state of
perfectability, as to controul the elements, and navigate
the boundless regions of space. Let us suppose
a roving crew of these soaring philosophers,
in the course of an ærial voyage of discovery among
the stars, should chance to alight upon this outlandish
planet.

And here I beg my readers will not have the
impertinence to smile, as is too frequently the fault
of volatile readers, when perusing the grave speculations
of philosophers. I am far from indulging
in any sportive vein at present, nor is the supposition
I have been making so wild as many may deem
it. It has long been a very serious and anxious question
with me, and many a time, and oft, in the course
of my overwhelming cares and contrivances for the
welfare and protection of this my native planet, have
I lain awake whole nights, debating in my mind whether
it was most probable we should first discover and
civilize the moon, or the moon discover and civilize
our globe. Neither would the prodigy of sailing
in the air and cruising among the stars be a whit
more astonishing and incomprehensible to us, than
was the European mystery of navigating floating

castles, through the world of waters, to the simple
savages. We have already discovered the art of
coasting along the ærial shores of our planet, by
means of balloons, as the savages had, of venturing
along their sea coasts in canoes; and the disparity
between the former, and the ærial vehicles of the
philosophers from the moon, might not be greater,
than that, between the bark canoes of the savages,
and the mighty ships of their discoverers. I might
here pursue an endless chain of very curious, profound
and unprofitable speculations; but as they
would be unimportant to my subject, I abandon
them to my reader, particularly if he is a philosopher,
as matters well worthy his attentive consideration.

To return then to my supposition—let us suppose
that the aerial visitants I have mentioned, possessed
of vastly superior knowledge to ourselves;
that is to say, possessed of superior knowledge in the
art of extermination—riding on Hypogriffs, defended
with impenetrable armour—armed with
concentrated sun beams, and provided with vast
engines, to hurl enormous moon stones: in short,
let us suppose them, if our vanity will permit the
supposition, as superior to us in knowledge, and
consequently in power, as the Europeans were to
the Indians, when they first discovered them. All
this is very possible, it is only our self-sufficiency,
that makes us think otherwise; and I warrant the

poor savages, before they had any knowledge of the
white men, armed in all the terrors of glittering
steel and tremendous gun-powder, were as perfectly
convinced that they themselves, were the
wisest, the most virtuous, powerful and perfect of
created beings, as are, at this present moment, the
lordly inhabitants of old England, the volatile populace
of France, or even the self-satisfied citizens of
this most enlightened republick.

Let us suppose, moreover, that the aerial voyagers,
finding this planet to be nothing but a howling
wilderness, inhabited by us, poor savages and wild
beasts, shall take formal possession of it, in the
name of his most gracious and philosophic excellency,
the man in the moon. Finding however,
that their numbers are incompetent to hold it in
complete subjection, on account of the ferocious
barbarity of its inhabitants; they shall take our
worthy President, the King of England, the Emperor
of Hayti, the mighty little Bonaparte, and the
great King of Bantam, and returning to their native
planet, shall carry them to court, as were the
Indian chiefs led about as spectacles in the courts
of Europe.

Then making such obeisance as the etiquette of
the court requires, they shall address the puissant
man in the moon, in, as near as I can conjecture,
the following terms:

“Most serene and mighty Potentate, whose dominions
extend as far as eye can reach, who rideth
on the Great Bear, useth the sun as a looking
glass and maintaineth unrivalled controul over
tides, madmen and sea-crabs. We thy liege subjects
have just returned from a voyage of discovery,
in the course of which we have landed and taken
possession of that obscure little scurvy planet,
which thou beholdest rolling at a distance. The
five uncouth monsters, which we have brought
into this august presence, were once very important
chiefs among their fellow savages; for the inhabitants
of the newly discovered globe are totally
destitute of the common attributes of humanity,
inasmuch as they carry their heads upon their
shoulders, instead of under their arms—have two
eyes instead of one—are utterly destitute of tails,
and of a variety of unseemly complexions, particularly
of a horrible whiteness—whereas all the inhabitants
of the moon are pea green!

We have moreover found these miserable savages
sunk into a state of the utmost ignorance and
depravity, every man shamelessly living with his
own wife, and rearing his own children, instead of
indulging in that community of wives, enjoined
by the law of nature, as expounded by the philosophers
of the moon. In a word they have scarcely
a gleam of true philosophy among them, but are in
fact, utter heretics, ignoramuses and barbarians.

Taking compassion therefore on the sad condition
of these sublunary wretches, we have endeavoured,
while we remained on their planet, to introduce
among them the light of reason—and the comforts
of the moon.—We have treated them to mouthfuls
of moonshine and draughts of nitrous oxyde, which
they swallowed with incredible voracity, particularly
the females; and we have likewise endeavoured
to instil into them the precepts of lunar Philosophy.
We have insisted upon their renouncing the
contemptable shackles of religion and common
sense, and adoring the profound, omnipotent, and
all perfect energy, and the extatic, immutable, immoveable
perfection. But such was the unparalleled
obstinacy of these wretched savages, that they
persisted in cleaving to their wives and adhering to
their religion, and absolutely set at naught the sublime
doctrines of the moon—nay, among other
abominable heresies they even went so far as
blasphemously to declare, that this ineffable planet
was made of nothing more nor less than green
cheese!”

At these words, the great man in the moon (being
a very profound philosopher) shall fall into a
terrible passion, and possessing equal authority
over things that do not belong to him, as did
whilome his holiness the Pope, shall forthwith issue
a formidable bull,—specifying, “That—whereas a
certain crew of Lunatics have lately discovered and

taken possession of that little dirty planet, called the
carth—and that whereas it is inhabited by none but
a race of two legged animals, that carry their heads
on their shoulders instead of under their arms; cannot
talk the lunatic language; have two eyes instead
of one; are destitute of tails, and of a horrible
whiteness, instead of pea green—therefore and
for a variety of other excellent reasons—they are
considered incapable of possessing any property in
the planet they infest, and the right and title to it
are confirmed to its original discoverers.—And furthermore,
the colonists who are now about to
depart to the aforesaid planet, are authorized
and commanded to use every means to convert
these infidel savages from the darkness of Christianity,
and make them thorough and absolute
lunatics.”

In consequence of this benevolent bull, our philosophic
benefactors go to work with hearty zeal.
They sieze upon our fertile territories scourge us
from our rightful possessions, relieve us from our
wives, and when we are unreasonable enough to
complain, they will turn upon us and say—miserable
barbarians! ungrateful wretches!—have we not
come thousands of miles to improve your worthless
planet—have we not fed you with moon shine—
have we not intoxicated you with nitrous oxyde—
does not our moon give you light every night and
have you the baseness to murmur, when we claim

a pitiful return for all these benefits? But finding
that we not only persist in absolute contempt to their
reasoning and disbelief in their philosophy, but
even go so far as daringly to defend our property,
their patience shall be exhausted, and they shall
resort to their superior powers of argument—hunt
us with hypogriffs, transfix us with concentrated
sun-beams, demolish our cities with moonstones;
until having by main force, converted us to the
true faith, they shall graciously permit us to exist
in the torrid deserts of Arabia, or the frozen regions
of Lapland, there to enjoy the blessings of
civilization and the charms of lunar philosophy—
in much the same manner as the reformed and enlightened
savages of this country, are kindly suffered
to inhabit the inhospitable forests of the
north, or the impenetrable wildernesses of South
America.

Thus have I clearly proved, and I hope strikingly
illustrated, the right of the early colonists to
the possession of this country—and thus is this gigantic
question, completely knocked in the head—
so having manfully surmounted all obstacles, and
subdued all opposition, what remains but that I
should forthwith conduct my impatient and wayworn
readers, into the renowned city, which we
have so long been in a manner besieging.—But
hold, before I proceed another step, I must pause
to take breath and recover from the excessive fatigue

I have undergone, in preparing to begin this
most accurate of histories. And in this I do but
imitate the example of the celebrated Hans Von
Dunderbottom, who took a start of three miles for
the purpose of jumping over a hill, but having been
himself out of breath by the time he reached the
foot, sat himself quietly down for a few moments
to blow, and then walked over it at his leisure.