 | Sheppard Lee |  |
BOOK IV.
CONTAINING ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE FOLLY OF
BRINGING UP CHILDREN IN THE WAY THEY
SHOULD GO, AND THE WISDOM
OF MAKING A FORTUNE.
1. CHAPTER I.
The private history of Abram Skinner, the Shaver.
My swoon was, I believe, of no great duration,
and I awoke from it a new man, as well as an old
one.
Yes, I was changed, and with a vengeance; and
into such a miserable creature, that had I justly
conceived what I was to become in entering old
Goldfist's body, I doubt whether even the extremity
in which I was placed would have forced me
upon the transformation. I forgot that the title to
Skinner's wealth was saddled with the conditions
of age, infirmity, and a thousand others equally
disagreeable. But I soon made the discovery,
though it was some time before I discovered all.
The first inconvenience of the transformation
which I felt was a thousand aches in my bones, a
great disturbance in my inner man, and a general
sense of feebleness and impotency, highly vexatious
hearing indistinct, and, indeed, all my senses were
more or less confused; my hand trembled when I
lifted it to my face, my voice quavered while I
spoke, and every effort to breath seemed to fill my
lungs with coal-gas and ashes. In a word, I was a
man of sixty years or more, with a constitution just
breaking up, if not already broken.
My resuscitation produced a hubbub of no ordinary
character. My sons—for, wonderful to be said,
I had sons, and I soon felt as if they were in reality
mine—were confounded, and so, doubtless, was
Barbara, the housekeeper; to the latter of whom it
was perhaps owing that I ever recovered from my
swoon; for my two boys, overcome with horror and
despair, rushed out of the house, and it was a week
before I saw their faces again.
What added to the confusion was the discovery
of my late body, lying on the floor, no one being at
all able to account for its appearance. To this day,
indeed, the thing remains a mystery among tailors
and shop-keepers. It was pretty generally considered
that the unfortunate I. D. Dawkins met his
death by dunning, and I believe the coroner's jury
returned a verdict accordingly; but how he made
his way into the chamber of the usurer to give up
the ghost, just at the moment the other was resuming
it, was never known. Some supposed he had
visited the old gentleman to borrow money, and had
knocked his head against the bedpost in despair
upon finding the lender past lending. Speculation
was then buried in the young gentleman's grave,
along with his body and his memory; for the memory
of a dandy passeth away, unless recorded on
the books of his tailor.
I was confined to my bed a week, suffering with
a complication of disorders; for, though I possessed
the power to reanimate a corpse, I had none
to conjure away its diseases. In this period I had
leisure to exchange all previous characteristics
that might have clung to me, for those that more
properly belonged to my new casing; and when I
rose from my bed the transformation was in every
particular complete. My soul had lost its identity;
it had taken its shape from the mould it occupied;
it was the counterpart of the soul of Abram Skinner.
My last act as I. D. Dawkins was to chuckle
over the prospect of spending Abram Skinner's
money; my first as Abram Skinner was to take
care it should be spent neither by myself nor by
any one else. The desire to enjoy myself had vanished;
the thoughts of fine clothes, horses and carriages,
and so on, entered my mind no more. The
only idea that possessed me was, “What am I
worth? how much more can I make myself
worth?” and the first thing I did, when I could sit
in a chair, was to ransack a certain iron chest that
stood under my bed, containing my prototype's
books of accounts, over which I gloated with the
mingled anxiety and delight that had doubtless distinguished
the studies of the true Goldfist.
I found myself rich beyond all my previously-formed
expectations; and, glum and rigid as were
now all my feelings, I think I should have danced
around my chamber for joy, had not the first flourish
of a leg introduced me to the pangs of rheumatism.
I indulged my rapture, therefore, in a soberer
way; and while awaiting the period of emancipation
from my chamber, arranged a thousand plans
for increasing my wealth.
My sons had deserted me, but I was not left
entirely to solitude. I received divers visits from
old fellows like myself, who, after growling out a
variety of wonder and congratulation at my return
to life, proceeded to counsel with me on subjects,
the discussion of which speedily brought me to the
knowledge of my new condition, where it had not
been supplied by the iron chest and my instincts.
These persons formed a confraternity, of which
it seems I, or rather my prototype, Abram Skinner,
was a prominent member; and the objects of the
association were to secure to each member the
fruits of his ambition with as little danger and
trouble as possible. We were a knot of what the
censorious call stock-gamblers; and by working
in common, and playing into each other's hands,
without taking pains to acknowledge any connexion,
we were pretty sure of our game.
It is astonishing how soon I entered into the
spirit of my new character. On previous occasions,
the adaption of soul to body was a work of
time; but here it seemed the work of but a few
Skinner was possessed of but one, or, at most, two
characteristics, and with these I easily became
familiar. The love of money was the ruling passion;
and this, I honestly confess, came to me so
naturally, that I was not conscious, while giving up
my whole soul to it, of any change of character
whatever. Before I left the house I was as busy
shaving notes, receiving bonds, mortgages, and
pledges (for Abram Skinner was a gambler of all
work), and devising schemes for “cornering” and
blowing high and low in the stock-market, as if I
had been born to the business.
I found on my books the records of all imaginable
operations, from the mem. of a thousand shares
of the Moonlight Manufacturing Company, bought
of A. B. on time, to the entry of “Mrs. C. D.'s
silver spoons and pitcher, purchased” (Abram Skinner
scorned all dealing on pawns, that being illegal
to the unlicensed) “at such a sum, but redeemable
at such another sum, which was generally at fifty
per cent. advance, on a certain day, or—forfeit.”
Here was a memorandum of a note bought at half
its value, there of a mortgage taken in form of a
purchase; and in other places a thousand other
forfeitures, such as marked the extent and universality
of business, the skill, the forethought, and
the success of Abram Skinner the shaver.
I have my compunctions when I think of the
life I led that winter; for so long did I continue
the life of a money-maker. But I entreat the
Skinner's body, and that the burden of my acts
should be therefore laid upon his shoulders. A
swearing gentleman once borrowed a Quaker's
great-coat, with a promise not to dishonour it by
any profanity while it was on his back; upon returning
it to his friend, he was demanded if he had
kept his promise. “Yes,” said the man of interjections,
with one of the most emphatic; “but it has
kept me lying all the time.” I never heard anybody
doubt that the lying was the fault of the coat;
and, in like manner, I hope that the reader will not
hesitate to attribute all my actions, while in Abram
Skinner's body, to Abram Skinner's body itself.
Besides my friends of the honest fraternity, I
had other visiters before my infirmities permitted
me to leave the house; and the dealings I had
with them, besides enabling me to get my hand in,
as the saying is, would afford the reader, if described,
some insight into the excellences of my
new character.
But I cannot pause over such pictures in detail.
The rulers then over us, to please the poor, had got
up a pressure in the money-market, whereby the
poor were, as is usual in such cases, put under
contribution by the rich. Such a pressure, however,
may be said to please everybody, though it
puts everybody in a passion. To the rich, who
have money to lend, it is as great a season of jubilee
as a rain-strom to ducks, or a high wind to
the bristly herd in an apple-orchard, and they are
over; to the poor, who borrow their money at a
higher rate than usual, it affords an opportunity to
rail at the aristocracy, and the grinders of the poor;
which is a pleasing recreation after a bad dinner.
At such times Abram Skinner was a happy man,
for he made money without the trouble of stirring
from his house: every knock at the door was the
signal of a god-send; every jerk at the bell was as
the jingle of coming dollars and cents.
2. CHAPTER II.
Sheppard Lee's first hit at money-making.
It was at such a season that I entered the
shaver's body. The knocks at my door were
frequent, and the demands of my visiters to be
brought into presence irresistible. What cared
they for my pains and sickness?—they wanted
money: what cared I for my pains and sickness?
—I was anxious to make it. I ordered my house-keeper
Barbara (for it seems I was such a niggard
I had no other servant) to admit all well-dressed
applicants; for I scorned to deal with any other.
The first person admitted was a woman, very
good looking, but advanced in years. She kept a
boarding-house, but, as Barbara informed me, had
seen better days, having been the wife of a rich
his books so straight as to allow no opportunity
for defrauding his creditors, surrendered up every
cent of his property, and died a beggar, leaving a
widow and six orphan daughters to lament his
honesty.
She was in some little flurry and perturbation of
spirits, but I spoke with a blandness that astonished
myself, until I found that this was always my
practice with a customer whom I was not tired of.
This restored her to confidence and garrulity.
Her tale was soon told:—her boarders were all
very fine gentlemen and ladies, and good pay; but
the times were so hard, they were just at this moment
compelled to pay with promises; with which
coin her landlord was not so easily satisfied. She
would not distress poor Mr. G., who owed her a
hundred and fifty dollars, nor Mr. H., nor Mrs. I.,
who were all in a peck of trouble just then, but
were well enough to do in the world—no, not she;
she had heard I was so good as often to lend to
people who wanted money for a few days, even
when the banks would not, provided they were
good and safe; and who was better and safer than
she? With all her troubles, and the Lord he
knew they were many and enough, she had always
paid her debts, and she defied anybody to
say the contrary: and so she hoped I would be so
good as to oblige her with the small sum of two
hundred-dollars, which, upon her honest word, she
would pay as soon as she had the money.
To this eloquent suggestion I answered (and I
doubt if the true Abram Skinner could have answered
better) by lamenting her difficulties, and
assuring her I was in as great trouble as herself,
not having a cent at command that I could call
my own (the iron chest told another story, and there
were divers handsome hundreds placed to my credit
in three or four different banks); nevertheless I had
a little money belonging to a friend, which I
thought I might make so free as to lend to one of
her excellent character and standing; but that
would be taking a great responsibility on my shoulders,
&c. &c., in terms which the reader can easily
imagine; and I concluded by hinting, that if she
had any plate or other valuables to deposite as a
security, it would save her the trouble of giving her
note, and the inconvenience such an instrument
might prove to her, if my friend's necessities should
comple him to throw it into the market.
The widow, delighted with my frankness, and
penetrated by my friendliness, ran home, and returned
with a basket of chattels to the value of perhaps
three hundred and fifty dollars.
“Very good,” said I; “you shall have the money,
though I should have to pay for it myself.”
“Sure,” said she, “but you are a good obliging
man, and I shall be much beholden: and sure, but
I thought all pawnbrokers had golden balls at their
doors.”
“Madam,” said I, “thank your good fortune that
I am not a pawnbroker. Had you gone to such a
and perhaps lost your silver into the bargain.
Now, supposing this silver to be worth three hundred
dollars—”
“Three hundred lack-a-daisies!” said the old
lady, “why, it cost more than four hundred dollars;
for I remember the coffee-pot—”
“Yes, ma'am,” said I; “that was the cost of
making: I reckon the silver at about three hundred
dollars, though that is a large allowance. Now,
had you taken this to a pawnbroker, what do you
think he would have loaned you on it?”
“To be sure, and I suppose; but I can't say.”
“One hundred dollars, perhaps, if a moderate
fellow,” said I; “but I am another sort of man;
I scorn to take any advantage of any one. Yes,”
said I, feeling warm and virtuous, “I scorn them
there fellows that take advantage, and grind down
the poor to the last mite. I, Mrs.—, hum, ha,
Mrs.—”
“Mrs. Smith,” said the old lady, eying me with
admiration.
“I, Mrs. Smith, will treat you in another way;
I will let you have what you want—the full two
hundred dollars, for the space of thirty days, and
charge you but twenty-five dollars for the favour.”
“Sure,” said Mrs. Smith, “and that's dear.”
“On the contrary, madam,” said I, “it is but
twelve and a half per cent. a month, whereas money
will often fetch fifteen.”
“Will it, indeed?” said the foolish widow; “and
then, Mr. Skinner, let me have the two hundred
dollars, and you shall have the plate in pawn.”
“No, ma'am,” said I, “none but a pawnbroker
can do that. A gentleman like myself does this
sort of thing in another manner; for were I to receive
this silver as a pawn, you might prosecute
me for it in court, and make me pay a fine. The
way we do is this; I buy the plate of you, for two
hundred dollars, taking a receipt from you for that
amount, and granting you, on my part, a written
permission to purchase the same back again, this
day month, for the sum of two hundred and twenty-five
dollars.”
“La!” said the old lady, “is that the way? But
what if I should not get the money in a month?”
“Why, then,” said I, with a look of benevolence,
“why, then, I think I must give you a month
longer.”
“Sure and you are the best man in the world,”
said Mrs. Smith; “and you think my silver won't
be in no danger? and you'll lock it up in some big
iron chest? for thieves are quite thick already;
and your paper to buy again will be just as good as
a pawnbroker's certificate?”
I hastened to satisfy the old lady's mind on this
and all other subjects. I then wrote out a receipt,
which I caused her to subscribe, being a due acknowledgment
on her part of having sold me certain
specified articles of plate; after which I delivered
her a paper, in which, without troubling myself
covenanted to sell her the same articles, at the price
mentioned before, at the expiration of thirty days.
With this and the two hundred dollars which I
now gave her, the foolish woman departed very well
satisfied; and as for me, I actually rubbed my
hands together with the delight of having made
such a good bargain. I say again, old Skinner
himself could not have managed the affair with
greater address than myself; and, young as I was
in his body, I felt as much satisfaction at having
overreached a silly old woman, as ever a less avaricious
man felt at deluding a young one. This
was small game, to be sure, for a man who dabbled
in stocks, and counted profits, not by dollars,
but by hundreds and thousands; but, as I said before,
Abram Skinner was a man of all work, who
thought no gain small enough to be despised, and
who cheated a single tatterdemalion with as much
zeal as he would fleece a community.
The end of the bargain was this: in a month's
time Mrs. Smith called on me again, but without
money; whereupon I spoke to her with greater benevolence
than before, assured her she need not be
distressed, and renewed the engagement between
us by adding twenty-five dollars (the interest upon
the money advanced) to the sums specified in the
conveyance and covenant; and the same amount I
added at the expiration of the second month. And
this course I intended to pursue for two months
more, until the amount of interest should swell the
which I designed to close the bargain, and consider
the silver fairly purchased.
If anybody supposes I treated the old woman ill
—that I acted dishonestly, and even illegally, in the
matter—all I have to say is, that I only did what
Abram Skinner the shaver had done a thousand
times before me, and what, I have no doubt, other
worthy gentlemen of his tribe have done after me.
He who rides with the devil must put up with his
driving; and he who deals with his nephews must
look for something warmer than burnt fingers.
The transaction with Mrs. Smith was a sample
of divers others, begun and conducted on the same
principles, though involving more momentous profits.
The system of forfeitures, as practised by a
skilful hand, is applicable to all species of property,
and I practised it with great effect in the case
of houses and lands, and the Lord knows what besides.
The “pressure” continued long; and I think
I should have made a handsome fortune in the
course of the winter out of this single branch of
my business alone, had not destiny arrested me in
the midst of a prosperous career, and left the business
to be settled by my administrators.
3. CHAPTER III.
Reflections on stock-jobbing and other matters.
But this was but a branch, and a small one, of
my profession. My noblest blows were struck at
the community at large; and struck in that most
magnificent of gambling-fields, the stock-market.
My skill here—for I inherited all the sagacity and
daring that had distinguished the original owner of
my body—was such as to keep me at the head of
that confraternity of which I have spoken before
I was the very devil among the fancy stocks; and
had the good luck to originate and conduct a stroke
of cornering, by which no less than twenty young
shop-keepers, who were ambitious to be seen on
'change and in brokers' offices, and to dare that
achievement of audacity, selling on time, were
smashed like coal-candlesticks, and half as many
wiser and richer desperadoes were driven to the
verge of ruin.
My chief strength, indeed, was shown in the
management of small stocks, and especially those
that were good for nothing, and more especially still
in southern mining-companies. It was here that
we of the Clipping Club, as the members of the
fraternity delighted to call themselves, found our
fairest opportunity to prey upon those passions of
cupidity and terror which lay the ignorant at the
myself how to get up or depress such a stock. I
knew how many ignorant widows, poor parsons,
infirm artisans, and other needy persons were to be
cajoled, by the prospect of handsome and increasing
dividends, to invest their petty savings when it
could be done at small premiums; and I knew how
easily the terror of loss could drive them out of
their investments. To say the truth, the principal
business of myself and my brother clippers was to
bob for such minnows; and it is incredible how
they bite, though it is only to be bitten. A few
words scattered at random, and still fewer uttered
in confidence, were enough to send shoals of these
unlucky creatures to swallow what we thought
proper to sell; and a few doubts and long faces,
added to the throwing away at low prices of a few
dozen shares, sufficed to convert the trembling holders
into sellers, whenever we deemed it advisable to
buy. In this way I have known a pet stock to be
tossed up and down like a ball, while every ascent
and downfall served the purpose of filling the pockets
of the fraternity and emptying those of the victims.
In such occupations as these passed three months
of my existence, and, sinner that I am, I thought
that they passed very honestly. The spirit of
Abram Skinner had left such a taint of rascality in
his body, that my own was thoroughly imbued with
it; from which I infer that a man's body is like a
barrel, which, if you salt fish in it once, will make
grain of lying or thieving, or any such spicy propensity,
infused into the youthful breast by a tender
parent, will give a scent to the spirit for life; and
as this is a fact, I recommend parents to take no
notice of it,—not supposing parents will take advice,
except by contraries. The passion of Abram
Skinner destroyed every trait that had belonged to
Sheppard Lee; and as for those I had taken from
John H. Higginson and I. D. Dawkins, they were
lost in like manner. I was Abram Skinner, and
nothing but Abram Skinner. I scarce remembered
that I had ever been any thing else. I am free
now to confess, what I was not so certain of then,
though I had my doubts on the matter at times,—
namely, that in labouring so hard after lucre, I was
only striving to sell my soul to the greatest advantage.
Idleness is said to be the root of all evil. The
root of much evil I never doubted it was. But my
experience in the body of Abram Skinner has convinced
me, that the industry to which a man is
goaded by the love of money is the root of much
greater evil,—of a bigger upas, indeed, than ever
sprung from the bed of the sluggard. The idler
may betake him to the bottle, as the idler usually
does, and then lapse into a reprobate, which is a
common consequence; but, at the worst, his crimes
are committed at the expense of individuals. The
man of avarice drinks out of his purse, which intoxicates
quite as deeply as the bowl, makes war upon
pocket, and just as legally consigns his neighbour's
children to want and beggary, from which it appears
that he is a drunkard, thief, and murderer,
just as naturally as the idler. The latter, by indulging
his propensity, loses his character; the
former, by indulging his, loses all those generous
sentiments and feelings, the sense of honour and
instinct of integrity, upon which character should
be founded. The man who enriches himself by
extracting wealth from the soil and the bowels of
the earth, or by the practice of any art or business
which supplies the necessaries of life, or ministers
to the convenience of society, makes his money virtuously,
and deserves to enjoy it in honour; but he
who gains a fortune by the mere gambling legerdemain
of speculation, by turning his neighbour's
pockets wrong side out, is—not so much of a Christian
as he supposes. My honest opinion, formed
after much reflection and experience, is, that bulls
and bears are as little likely to go to heaven as any
other animals.
In regard to myself, I am as free to confess, that
my course of life while in Abram Skinner's body
was deserving of all reprobation. I hope that the
acts I then committed may be laid to old Skinner's
door; but, for fear of a mistake, I have endeavoured
to repent them, as being sins of my own
committing: and this course I recommend to all
those good folks who are persuaded their peccadilloes
are the fault of others, and for the same reason,
also that I had my doubts, even at the time of committing
them, of the righteousness of my acts, and
that I sometimes had bad dreams: but the fury of
avarice stilled the pangs of conscience, as the fury
of wrath and battle stills those of the wounded soldier.
Having made these admissions, I will now betake
me to my story.
| Sheppard Lee | |