Chapter VIII.
THE FIRST COMMUNION.
FOR the Roman Catholic child, how beautiful and yet how
sad is the day of his first communion! How many joys
and anxieties by turn rise in his soul when for the first time he
is about to eat what he has been taught to believe to be his God!
How many efforts he has to make, in order to destroy the manifest
teachings of his own rational faculties! I confess with deep
regret that I had almost destroyed my reason, in order to prepare
myself for my first communion. Yes, I was almost exhausted
when the day came that I had to eat what the priest had assured
us was the true body, the true blood, soul and divinity of Jesus
Christ. I was about to eat him, not in a symbolical or commemorative,
but in a literal way. I was to eat his flesh, his
bones, his hands, his feet, his head, his whole body! I had to
believe this or be cast forever into hell, while, all the time, my
eyes, my hands, my mouth, my tongue, my reason told me that
what I was eating was only bread!
Has there ever been, or will there ever be, a priest or a
layman to believe what the Church of Rome teaches on this
dreadful mystery of the Real Presence? Shall I say that I
believed in the real presence of Jesus Christ in the communion?
I believed in it as all those who are good Roman Catholics
believe. I believed as a perfect idiot or a corpse believes.
Whatever is essential to a reasonable act of faith had been
destroyed in me on that point, as it is destroyed in every priest
and layman in the Church of Rome. My reason as well as my
external senses had been, as much as possible, sacrificed at the
feet of that terrible modern god, the Pope! I had been guilty
of the incredibly foolish act, of which all good Roman Catholics
are guilty—I had said to my intellectual faculties, and to all my
senses, "Hush, you are liars! I had believed to this day that
you had been given to me by God in order to enable me to walk
in the dark paths of life, but, behold! the holy Pope teaches me
that you are only instruments of the devil to deceive me!"
What is a man who resigns his intellectual liberty, and who
cares not to believe in the testimony of his senses? Is he not
acting the part of one who has no gift or power of intelligence?
A good Roman Catholic must reach that point! That was my
own condition on the day of my first communion.
When Jesus said, "If I had not come and spoken unto them
they had not had sin; but now they have no cloak for their sins:
if I had not done among them the works that none other man
did, they had not had sin; but now have they both seen and
hated both me and my Father" (John xv. 22-24), he showed
that the sin of the Jews consisted in not having believed in what
their eyes had seen and their ears had heard. But behold, the
Pope says to Roman Catholics that they must not believe in
what their hands undoubtedly handle and their eyes most clearly
see! The Pope sets aside the testimony most approved by
Jesus. The very witnesses invoked by the son of God are
ignominously turned out of court by the Pope as false
witnesses!
As the moment of taking the communion drew near, two
feelings were at war in my mind, each struggling for victory.
I rejoiced in the thought that I would soon have full possession
of Jesus Christ, but at the same time I was troubled and
humbled by the absurdity which I had to believe before receiving
that sacrament. Though scarcely twelve years old, I had
sufficiently accustomed myself to reflect on the profound darkness
which covered that dogma. I had been also greatly in the
habit of trusting my eyes, and I thought that I could easily
distinguish between a small piece of bread and a full-grown
man!
Besides, I extremely abhorred the idea of eating human flesh
and drinking human blood, even when they assured me that
they were the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ himself. But
what troubled me most was the idea of that God, who was
represented to me as being so great, so glorious, so holy, being
eaten by me like a piece of common bread! Terrible then was
the struggle in my young heart, where joy and dread, trust and
fear, faith and unbelief by turns had the upper hand.
While that secret struggle, known only to God and to
myself, was going on, I had often to wipe off the cold perspiration
which came on my brow. With all the strength of my
soul I prayed to God and the Holy Virgin to be merciful unto
me, to help, and give me sufficient strength and light to pass
over these hours of anguish.
The Church of Rome is evidently the most skillful human
machine the world has ever seen. Those who guide her in the
dark paths which she follows are often men of deep thought.
They understand how difficult it would be to get calm, honest
and thinking minds to receive that monstrous dogma of the real
corporal presence of Jesus Christ in the communion. They well
foresaw the struggle which would take place even in the minds
of children at the supreme moment when they would have to
sacrifice their reason on the altar of Rome. In order to prevent
those struggles, always so dangerous to the Church, nothing has
been neglected to distract the mind and draw the attention to
other subjects than that of the communion itself.
First, at the request of the parish priest, helped by the vanity
of the parents themselves, the children are dressed as elegantly
as possible. The young communicant is clothed in every way
best calculated to flatter his own vanity also. The church
building is pompously decorated. The charms of choice vocal
and instrumental music form a part of the fete. The most
odorous incense burns around the altar and ascends in a sweet-smelling
cloud towards heaven. The whole parish is invited,
and people come from every direction to enjoy a most beautiful
spectacle. Priests from the neighboring churches are called, in
order to add to the solemnity of the day. The officiating priest
is dressed in the most costly attire. This is the day on which
silver and gold altar-cloths are displayed before the eyes of the
wondering spectators. Often a lighted wax taper is placed in
the hand of each young communicant, which itself would be
sufficient to draw his whole attention; for a single false motion
would be enough to set fire to the clothes of his neighbor, or
his own, a misfortune which has happened more than once in
my presence.
Now, in the midst of that new and wonderful spectacle; of
singing Latin psalms, not a word of which he understands; in
view of gold and silver ornaments, which glitter everywhere
before his dazzled eyes; busy with the holding of the lighted
taper, which keeps him constantly in fear of being burned alive,
can the young communicant think for a moment of what he is
about to do?
Poor child! his mind, ears, eyes, nostrils are so much taken
up with those new, striking and wonderful things that, while
his imagination is wandering from one object to another, the
moment of communion arrives, without leaving him time to
think of what he is about to do! He opens his mouth, and the
priest puts upon his tongue a flat thin cake of unleavened bread,
which either firmly sticks to his palate or otherwise melts in his
mouth, soon to go down into his stomach just like the food he
takes three times a day!
The first feeling of the child, then, is that of surprise at the
thought that the Creator of heaven and earth, the upholder of
the universe, the Saviour of the world, could so easily pass down
his throat!
Now, follow those children to their homes after that great
and monstrous comedy. See their gait! Listen to their conversation
and their bursts of laughter! Study their manners, their
coming in, their going out, their glances of satisfaction on their
fine clothes, and the vanity which they manifest in return for
the congratulations they receive on their fine dresses. Notice
the lightness of their actions and conversation immediately after
their communion, and tell me if you find anything indicating
that they believed in the terrible dogma they have been taught!
No, they have not believed in it, neither will they ever do so
with the firmness of faith which is accompanied by intelligence.
The poor child thinks he believes, and he sincerely tries to do
so. He believes in it as much as it is possible to believe in a
most monstrous and ridiculous story, opposed to the simplest
notions of truth and common sense. He believes as Roman
Catholics believe. He believes as an idiot believes!! He
believes as a corpse believes!
That first communion has made of him, for the rest of his
life, a real machine in the hands of the Pope. It is the first but
most powerful link of that long chain of slavery which the
priest and the Church pass around his neck. The Pope holds
the end of that chain, and with it he will make his victim go
right or left at his pleasure, in the same way that we govern the
lower animals. If those children have made a good first communion
they will be submissive to the Pope, according to the
energetic word of Loyola. They will be in the hands of the
Supreme Pontiff of Rome just what the stick is in the hand of
the traveller—they will have no will, no thought of their own!
And if God does not work a miracle to bring them out from
the bondage which is a thousand times worse than the Egyptian,
they will remain in that state during the rest of their lives.
My soul has known the weight of those chains. It has felt
the ignominy of that slavery! But the great Conqueror of souls
has cast down a merciful eye upon me. He has broken my
chains, and with His holy Word He has made me free.
May His name be forever blessed!
