University of Virginia Library

LETTER I.

Dear Sister Sabra,—I thought you and my family
would like to know my whereabouts. We have still
only four hundred men. Yesterday I came down here
and took charge of a ward of forty-eight men and four
attendants. Think of finding yourself all at once at
the head of such a family. I came here in the morning
and immediately commenced work. I should not
think the ward had been thoroughly cleaned since it
was occupied, for they have only had orderlies here, and
the head surgeon wished me to take charge at once.
It is very large; will receive fifty-eight beds if necessary.
I had a general rectification, baskets of bandages
and lint and surgical matters put in order for the
surgeon, stoves put in order, taught my orderlies
how to make beds, &c. This morning I had my
whole ward swept out, under beds, in corners, and
everywhere, my beds properly made &c; then in comes
the surgeon and assistant; I attend them, see that they
have what is needed and assist if necessary; this is my
hard hour, it is so hard to see the poor men suffer; oh
those horrid probes! Then, when all this is through,
the surgeon writes out his diet and medical orders in
two books, which I keep. My day begins early, reveille
at six, I must be up before to get beds made, ward

swept out, dressings attended to, and wounds unbandaged
and washed ready for the surgeon's inspection,
and whatever he chooses to do. He comes at half-past
eight. This morning the head surgeon of the hospital
appeared, and after an examination, informed me that
my ward was the nicest looking one in the whole
hospital.

Monday. I am now going to try to finish my letter;
this is the first time I have found time, unless I drove
fearfully, and hardly then. We have new arrangements
now; I think I will give you my day's routine. First,
up early; one of my orderlies sweeps down the ward,
the two others take, one each side of the ward, and
make the beds, at which I must assist if I want the
ward ready in time. Before it is quite done the
orderly who goes for breakfast leaves with another
dining-room orderly; I work on, breakfast comes, one
kind for those sick in the ward, and the other, house-rations
for the rest of my men and the orderlies. One
of the attendants has set out the plates on the dresser
which runs round the first room,—dining-room it is
called. I prepare on plates the breakfast for each man
on sick-rations according to the rules the Doctor has
written out in his order-book for me. A good while
previous to each meal I must send down the order for
it, signed with my name and ward.

I am matron of Ward 6; I have at present forty-five
children, besides my orderlies, who require a tight hand
kept over them. Some of them will leave soon and
the ward be filled up to its full number; probably, the

surgeon said, with bad cases; my ward has the worst
cases in it now that are here, with the exception of one
or two elsewhere. I like the surgeon very much who
attends to this ward; he is very skilful, firm, and at the
same time gentle and kind as possible. He is a thorough
gentleman, to my great delight; the rest of the doctors
are gentlemanly, pleasant men. As my ward has so
many bad cases it is uncommonly interesting; therefore
a group of them generally meet here, with more
satisfaction to themselves than to the patients, I think.
After breakfast, I see to the finishing up of the ward.
My doctor is fearfully particular. Just as I began to
write about him, I heard a tap, and there he was, for
his night report; he is a very handsome man, tall and
dignified.

Tuesday night. I had to stop last night to attend to
my children. When the ward is in order I get ready
for the surgeon, see that the baskets containing various
applications and dressings and the table the Doctor
uses are standing in a particular place in the ward;
the basins with sponges and the pails with hot and
cold water in their places. I have barely time to do
this before in marches the Doctor, at nine o'clock; then
he writes down his prescriptions and diet list for the
day in his two books, as he visits the patients, then he
hands me the books; I am attending him all the time
like a white shadow; that is a part of my duty. Then
the surgical work commences: oh! with all his kindness,
the Doctor is firm as a rock, and everything has
to be gone through with. The other day he was almost

four hours getting through; he is not always so long.
Then I write off my dinner-orders, send them, give out
medicines; then some other items; all the while the
surgeon is in the ward I mast be in attendance, to
assist or wait upon him. Then dinner; my patients
are divided into two classes; those who are well enough
to dine in the dining-room on house-rations, and those
who dine in the ward on different diets; to the latter
I give out dinner according to the Doctor's orders in
the diet list. After dinner, I have some housekeeping
matters to see to; yesterday, counting out the linen
for forty-five men. This time is supposed to be passed
by me in recreation. This afternoon I had a housecleaning
of the deepest dye. I found a whiskey bottle
under one bed, apple pie on a table, both delinquencies;
if the whiskey bottle could have been traced home, the
owner would probably have been put under arrest.
The Doctor was desirous to have the beds arranged in
a particular manner, and I worked till I could hardly
stand to get it done; after it was all finished, he
walked in; he took a look down the long ward, and
then turned to me with a most approving expression.
I have work to do constantly in this way. I make out
my supper-lists in the afternoon and send them before
five. I send my men for supper, then give it out as I
do the other meals; after supper, see that the patients
are attended to properly; then take the surgical
baskets, put them in order, roll up bandages and make
new. My bandage roller is in constant use; I arrange
everything exactly in its place; my surgeon seems to
rely upon my order and readiness a good deal. The
other night I was awoke about one or two in the morning,
to supply him with powders he wanted for another
ward; I had them right at hand. In the evening I
have to see that the dressings the Doctor ordered have
been properly performed or do them myself, and see
after the many wants of my children; so my men
seem to me. The Doctor generally makes me a farewell
visit about nine o'clock. The officer of the day
also looks in upon me, and I report to him about
anything he wishes to know. All this routine takes
in a quantity of minor matters. I am writing in the
evening because I cannot find time in the day; perhaps
I shall to-morrow. I must go to bed now.

Thursday afternoon. I hope you will make allowance
for the hurried way in which my letters are written,
and not be astonished if the writing and spelling are a
little peculiar; my head is almost beside itself with all
that it has to think of. I have given you but a distant
idea of all that I have to look after, walk after and
bear the responsibility of. This morning I had to assist
the surgeon in some very painful duties; one man
fairly cried; I felt when the Doctor left as if my nerves
were all on edge. Yesterday I had two cases sent to
me from the operating room; one came first; I had him
all washed, the head properly bandaged and the man
in bed, and the bed ready for the other one, the bandages
and bowl and sponges also, before Number Two
appeared with the Doctor. The Doctor cast a very
approving look round, and I went right to work to attend

to the new one. The Doctor trusted me enough
to send me Number One without coming himself, though
it was the first time I have had an operation of any
extent here. It came very natural. The Doctor was
fairly benignant when he left. I feel all the time afraid
of failure, of not coming up to the mark. My chamber,
in one corner, is ten feet by seven and one-half; I have
it all to myself at night; in the day time it is an actual
office for surgeons, patients and everybody else to
come to; the nurse's room in a ward generally is. I
have a narrow iron bedstead, a small table, a looking-glass,
my upright tub,—which same is an immense comfort,—my
trunk and valise, two pails of water, a chair
and a wash bowl; behold my furniture. The building
is not yet finished, and it is nothing but rough
boards, to be plastered some time in the dim future. I
have pine plank shelves in my room, and on them are
kept the medicines, bowl of surgeon's sponges, stores
of different kinds, all belonging to the nurse's department.

One of my orderlies is in the guard-house to-day. One of My ward has, I believe, the best surgeon except the
head of all, and I do not know but as good as he. He
just now told me, with a very beaming face, that he
expected to have some very heavy cases in. I hope he
will be happy!

Friday afternoon. I have a great many wants to
reply to and meet. The other night, as I thought all
was done, one poor fellow had neuralgia in his arm,
and I was obliged to rub it for a long time before he

was relieved. I have a great many things to do for
the welfare of the patients in that way. One poor
fellow cried like a child this morning under the surgeon's
hands, and it was a long time before I could
comfort him. At night the surgeon goes to the fort
to sleep, and I am left with the guardianship of all these
men. I have a night watcher, but he is not a nurse.
I felt a little anxious the other day, or rather night,
when I had two cases just from operation, to say nothing
of the others.

To-day was grand inspection day, and such a day!
In the first place, the Doctors were coming in the
middle of the morning, and the ward had to be in a
state of supernatural order by that time; all the dressings
done and patients by the side of their beds. Oh,
the getting ready! I confided my state of mind to the
surgeon as we were working together, and he agreed
with me; that was some comfort. At the proper time
the door opens and the whole surgical and medical staff
walk inside, and, standing at the head of the ward, the
head of the hospital, Dr. Bartholomew, reads the roll-call,
the men reply; inspection of the ward follows; I
had nothing to do but receive a very profound bow and
reply to that same. I felt perfectly exhausted by the
time all was over, the preparations had been so fatiguing.
This lovely day comes once a week; this is
general inspection, particular inspection is at eleven
o'clock, Sundays! It is a queer place.

I made a funny mistake the other day. The men
are very fond of showing me the pictures of their wives

and babies; I was passing a bed lately and saw among
the articles my patient was arranging, an ambrotype
case. I took it up supposing it might be his wife;
it was a very pretty girl's picture; I said, "This is your
wife, is it not?" the poor fellow turned redder than red
and said no, it was not his wife! but looking so
sheepishly happy all the while it was easy to tell what
she was. I put it down and turned the subject immediately;
he seemed to consider me rather in the light
of a confidential friend afterwards.

There are many things that are trying in this way
of life, but they are inseparable from it and must be
accepted as such. I did not expect it would be couleur
de rose when I came, and one cannot expect in making
the voyage of life always to meet with fair weather.
Our Master did not, and what right have we to? It is a
great deal to be thankful for when he gives us some
work to do for Him, only we have to be very careful
how we do it, careful to do His will first of all. I have
just been reading the words in Isaiah, "the shadow of
a great rock in a weary land," and the thought that we
can always rest under the shadow of that rock is a
great comfort. One of my men has been dangerously
ill; when he was better, but could not sit up, I read to
him in the Psalms one evening; he seemed very much
pleased, and the next morning his hand was out to meet
mine before I could get to it. He will get well now,
but it was a narrow escape with him. I have a great
variety in my ward; one belligerent individual is under
arrest, and I have to see that he does not go out of

doors; a slight addition to the rest of my cares. He
did go to-day and I was obliged to report him.

Please write to me and mention every detail, and
what you are going to do, so that I can imagine you
doing it when the time comes; it takes away from the
lonely feeling. I do not want ideas, my head has so
many new ones it is nearly beside itself. I want facts,
—I wish you would give my love to those of my friends
who are kind enough to remember me. I wish some
of them would write. Be sure and tell me how mother
looks, I never knew before how much I loved her.

You must excuse the style of my letters, for they are
written among many interruptions. It is nearly ten
now. I have just been through my ward and visited
every bed. As I arranged one boy whom I stood by
in his pain yesterday morning, he looked up at me
with such a loving look, it made me think of his far
off mother. They feel what is done for them very
much, sometimes. I must go to bed now and get rest
for the morning work. My feet ache, but I expect
they will get used to it.