The poetical works of John and Charles Wesley

I the bitter cup have tasted;
Still I drink the mingled gall,
Still my soul by sin lies wasted,
Unrecover'd from its fall:
Still beneath His frown I languish:
God, from whom I would depart,
Leaves me to my grief and anguish,
Gives me up to my own heart.

Plague and curse I now inherit,
Fears, and wars, and storms within,
Pain, and agony of spirit,
Sin chastising me for sin,
Weeping, woe, and lamentation,
Vain desire, and fruitless prayer,
Guilt, and shame, and condemnation,
Doubt, distraction, and despair.

Ye who now enjoy His favour,
Husband well the precious grace,
Never lose, like me, your Saviour,
Never break from His embrace:
Do not by your lightness grieve Him;
Youthful lusts and idols flee,
Little children, never leave Him,
Never lose your God like me.

Punish'd after my demerit,
Dives like on you I call;
Lest my portion you inherit,
Take example by my fall;

384

Lest your joy be turn'd to mourning,
Lest ye come into my hell;
Listen to the solemn warning,
Keep the grace from which I fell.

Dead to praise, and wealth, and beauty,
Cast on Christ your every care,
Walk in all the paths of duty,
Praying, watching unto prayer:
Pray; and when the answer's given,
When ye find the passage free,
When your faith hath open'd heaven,
Faithful souls, remember me!

LII. THE SAME.

Hymn 2.

[Grieved with the penal want of grace]

Grieved with the penal want of grace,
And banish'd from my Father's face,
Far from the paradise of love,
O'er earth's bleak wilderness I rove.

A wandering discontented Cain
I of my punishment complain,
Burden'd with more than I can bear,
In all the sadness of despair.

For years I have my vileness seen,
A man of lips and heart unclean,
Yet can I no deliverance see,
No end of sin and grief for me.

Ah! what avails it now, that I
Could once to Christ my Lord draw nigh,
Knew He had borne my sins away,
And saw the dawning of His day!

385

That sudden flash of heavenly light
Which once broke in upon my night,
Has made my darkness visible,
And left me to a deeper hell.

Ah! what avail'd the short-lived power,
The triumph of one lucid hour!
Again enthrall'd, and doubly cursed
I am, and viler than at first.

My lusts have re-usurp'd the sway,
And forced my struggling soul to' obey;
My struggling soul in sin remains,
Indignant, as a king in chains.

O! how shall I the rebels shun,
Or whither for deliverance run?
I neither can resist nor fly:
O might I here sink down, and die!

Thou, Lord, who hast the keys of death,
Take back my miserable breath,
From all my fears, and sins release,
And bid me now depart in peace.

Before I all Thy people shame,
And bring reproach on Thy great name,
Redeem me from the foul offence,
And snatch—this moment snatch me hence.

One only good I here would have,
The blessing of a quiet grave;
All my requests are lost in one—
I ask for death, and death alone.

Eager I urge my sole request,
I cannot, no I cannot rest,
But evermore my wishes breathe,
And spend my soul in groans for death.

386

For this my streaming eyes o'erflow,
My bosom heaves with endless woe:
For this to Thee I ever cry,
Ah! Saviour, suffer me to die!

Receive my gasping spirit home,
Seize, snatch me from the ill to come,
Now, give me now my heart's desire,
And let me at Thy feet expire.

LIII. THE SAME.

Hymn 3.

[Fallen from Thy pardoning grace]

Fallen from Thy pardoning grace
How shall I for mercy cry?
How presume to seek Thy face,
I, the deep revolter I!
Harden'd in my sins I am,
Conscience I, alas! have none,
Lost my sense of guilt and shame:
All my heart is turn'd to stone.

Now I sin without remorse,
Greedily my death drink down,
Now I as the headlong horse
Violently in sin rush on;
Shipwreck'd is my faith and hope,
All my pangs, I find, are o'er,
Doubly dead, and rooted up;
Godly sorrow is no more.

Once I could lament my state,
At the feet of Jesus cast,
Now my sins have lost their weight,
All that blessed grief is past.

387

Conscience sear'd no longer cries;
Senseless I of ruin near
See my doom with stony eyes,
Eyes that cannot drop a tear.

O that I at once had gone
Singly damn'd to my own place!
O that I had never known
Christ the way of righteousness!
Less my punishment had been,
Had His blood been ne'er applied,
Had I perish'd in my sin,
Unconcern'd in Egypt died.

Desperate soul, what must I do,
Damn'd I am while here I breathe:
Who shall now deliver? who
Can redeem me from this death?
Jesus, Thou art still the Way,
Now as yesterday the same,
Could I but for mercy pray,
Coming as at first I came.

Fallen as I am once more,
Friend of sinners, look on me,
To my lost estate restore,
Let me know my misery;
Let me now, even now begin,
As when first I sought Thy face,
Saw the sinfulness of sin,
Felt the want of pardoning grace.

Give me back my guilty load,
Give me back my earnest moans,
Restless thirstings after God,
Deep, unutterable groans,

388

Plaintive wailings, humble fears,
Griefs, which tongue could not declare,
All the eloquence of tears,
All the prevalence of prayer.

Saviour, Prince, enthroned on high,
Penitence and peace to give,
Cast, O cast a pitying eye,
Breathe, and these dry bones shall live.
I shall at Thy word repent,
Let but Thy good Spirit blow,
My hard heart shall then relent,
Water from the rock shall flow.

Look with that soul piercing look,
(Full of goodness as Thou art,)
Look, as when Thy pity broke
Poor unfaithful Peter's heart!
Kindly for my sin upbraid
Me who have my Lord denied,
Him, who suffer'd in my stead,
Him, who for His murderer died.

Jesus, Master, dying Lord,
Infinite Thy mercies are,
Let me be again restored,
Once again Thy blessing share.
And that I the grace may keep,
Never more my Lord deny,
Bid me now, this moment, weep,
Weep, believe, and love—and die!

389

LIV. THE SAME.

Hymn 4.

[Weary of my sad complaining]

Weary of my sad complaining
Must I with my Saviour part?
Yield, that sin should always reign in
This poor feeble wretched heart!
Must I give the contest over,
Must I sink beneath my load,
Calling on the earth to cover
A despairing sinner's blood?

No, I will not cease from crying,
Not till Tophet takes me in,
Still I pray, though sinking, dying,
Save me, save me, Lord, from sin,
Bring me through my sore temptation:
Or if I must see the pit,
Perish in Thine indignation,—
Let me perish at Thy feet.

LV. THE SAME.

Hymn 5.

[Saviour, cast a pitying eye]

Saviour, cast a pitying eye,
Bid my sins and sorrows end:
Whither should a sinner fly?
Art not Thou the sinner's Friend?
Rest in Thee I gasp to find,
Wretched I, and poor, and blind.

Swallow'd up in sad despair,
In the lowest deep I lie:
Wilt Thou, Lord, cast out my prayer?
Canst Thou disregard my cry?
Hear my lamentable moan,
Listen to my dying groan.

390

Didst Thou ever see a soul
More in need of help than mine?
Then refuse to make me whole,
Then withhold the balm Divine:
But if I do want Thee most,
Come, and seek, and save the lost.

Haste, O haste to my relief,
From the iron furnace take,
Rid me of my sin and grief,
For Thy own sweet mercy sake,
Set my heart at liberty,
Show forth all Thy power in me.

Me, the vilest of the race,
Most unholy, most unclean;
Me, the farthest from Thy face,
Sink of misery and sin;
Me with arms of love receive,
Me, of sinners chief, forgive.

Jesus, on Thy only name
For salvation I depend,
In Thy gracious hands I am,
Save me, save me to the end:
Let the utmost grace be given,
Save me quite from hell to heaven.

LVI. THE SAME.

Hymn 6.

[From the jaws of black despair]

From the jaws of black despair,
From the belly of this hell,
Lord, I send my mournful prayer;
If Thou canst my doom repeal,
If Thou canst, again forgive,
Speak, and bid the sinner live.

391

Thou hast long withdrawn Thy grace,
Thou hast punish'd sin by sin:
Ere Thine utmost wrath take place,
Ere the gulf is fix'd between,
Hear mine agonizing cry,
O forgive, and let me die!

Let my punishment be o'er,
Grant my wretched heart's desire,
Let me die, to sin no more,
Let me at Thy feet expire,
Now Thy pardoning love impart,
Sprinkle now, and break my heart.

Do not let me live to sin,
O remove the mountain load,
Quench the hell I feel within
By Thine all-atoning blood,
Bear me on the purple wave,
Waft me to the silent grave.

LVII. THE SAME.

Hymn 7.

[Wretch that I am, what help, or hope]

Wretch that I am, what help, or hope
Of rescue is for me!
Have I not fill'd the measure up
Of mine iniquity?

Have I not fought against my God,
(Alas no longer mine!)
Refused to hear the threatening rod,
And dared the wrath Divine?

From Him I farther still have stray'd,
Still more rebellious been,
Of faith a dreadful shipwreck made,
And added sin to sin.

392

Vilest of all the' apostate race
I have His love withstood,
And sinn'd against His pardoning grace,
And trampled on His blood.

That blood, which speaking once for me
My heart and conscience heard:
But harden'd now my heart I see,
My conscience now is sear'd.

More desperate in my damn'd estate,
And more enslaved I am,
Than when I by the fleshpots sat,
And wallow'd in my shame.

No power to stand against my sin,
No will, alas! have I;
But yield to every thought unclean,
And greedily comply.

Draughts of iniquity I drink,
From sin to sin I fall;
Whate'er I do, or speak, or think,
Or am, is evil all.

What shall I do? by guilt oppress'd,
Shall I in Egypt dwell?
Alas! in sinning to seek rest,
Is to seek rest in hell.

Shall I believe, Who made the eye
My folly doth not see,
“Sin in His own He passes by,
He winks at sin in me?”

Ah! no; my spirit's desperate wound
I cannot slightly heal;
No peace is for the wicked found,
The sea is troubled still.

393

The storm of sin can never cease,
The tumult in my breast,
Unless the Lord create my peace,
And speak me into rest.

This is my only hope, (might I
Presume to call it mine,)
My soul, though at the point to die,
Would live by grace Divine.

The grace I have abused, alone
Can help and comfort give,
Would Jesus hear my dying groan,
And bid the sinner live.

Ah! Lord, if I again may dare
For mercy to look up,
Snatch from the whirlpool of despair,
And give me back my hope.

Jesus, the forfeiture restore,
On me the grace bestow,
On even ground to stand once more
Against my mortal foe.

To-day, while it is call'd to-day,
My stubborn soul convert,
Strike the hard rock, and strike away
The stony from my heart.

O bid me look on Thee, and mourn
For all my follies past,
Or let me now to dust return,
And sin and breathe my last.

394

LVIII. THE SAME.

Hymn 8.

[Cover'd with guilty shame]

Cover'd with guilty shame,
O whither shall I fly?
Full of the curse of sin I am,
With no deliverance nigh;
My punishment is now
Greater than I can bear,
Beneath the weight I faint, and bow,
And sink into despair.

Drunken, but not with wine,
I stagger to and fro,
The bitter cup of wrath Divine
Doth all my soul o'erflow;
Entangled in a net
As a wild bull I lie,
And struggle with my pain, and fret,
And wish in vain to die.

O who shall help afford,
Or ease my misery!
Full of the fury of the Lord,
O who can pity me!
The sin avenging rod
I every moment feel,
The arrows of Almighty God,
The antepast of hell.

I lift my weary eyes,
And drop their lids again,
No hope, no answer from the skies,
No respite of my pain!
For ever closed I see
The door of faith and prayer,
Nothing, alas! remains for me
But blackness of despair.

395

I throw mine eyes around
That witness huge dismay,
No secret place for me is found
From sin to 'scape away:
Ah! woe is me, constrain'd
With human fiends to dwell,
Held down, and horribly detain'd
Amidst the toils of hell.

O earth, earth, earth attend!
(Since heaven rejects my prayer)
Open thy mouth, and kindly end
My agony of despair,
Of guilt, and shame, and sin,
Of fear, and grief unknown;
Open thy mouth, and take me in,
And swallow up thine own.

Cover, O earth, my blood,
And never more disclose
A wretch that flies to thee, pursued
By human, hellish foes:
O that I could but fall,
And die out of their power,
Die into nothing now—die all—
And sin—and be no more!

LIX. THE SAME.

Hymn 9.

[Poor, wretched heart, by sin oppress'd]

Poor, wretched heart, by sin oppress'd,
And wilt thou never be at rest,
And must thou always grieve!
Ah! woe is me, I still complain,
And groan to bear my iron chain;
In sin, in hell I live.

396

Encompass'd by the dogs of hell,
Sin, only sin without I feel,
Sin only reigns within;
Sin always meets my blasted eyes,
Sin is the worm that never dies,
And all my soul is sin.

O'erwhelm'd with horrible affright,
I shudder at the monster's sight,
And know not where to fly;
O for Thy pity's sake remove,
Take, seize me, Saviour, from above,
And give me, now to die.

My vehement soul cries out for death!
Bury me in the depth beneath,
Air, earth, or sea, or fire!
But save me from the great offence,
And let me keep my innocence,
And without sin expire.

O that I could my soul resign,
And fairly lose whate'er is mine,
Step o'er the griefs between,
And snatch the death, for which I call,
Or let me into nothing fall,
To 'scape the hell of sin.

Struggles my soul, and gasps for ease
In more than mortal agonies,
A living death I bear:
I wish—I strive—but cannot die;
Still in the flames of sin I lie,
The Tophet of despair.

397

I need not fear the burning pool,
Already kindled in my soul
The wrath Divine I feel,
With not one drop of comfort nigh
To cool my tongue, I howl, and cry,
Tormented in this hell.

O hell of sin! thy fiery rage
Not many waters can assuage,
Not all the ocean's flood,
Thy flames would, spite of all, increase:
What then can make thy burnings cease?
A drop of Jesu's blood.

LX. THE SAME.

Hymn 10.

[O take away Thy rod]

O take away Thy rod,
A dying sinner spare!
My punishment, Almighty God,
Is more than I can bear:
I haste to my own place,
From sin to sin I fall,
Abandon'd by restraining grace;
Yet I deserve it all.

My just desert is more,
If more on earth can be,
My sin required it long before
That Thou shouldst cast off me,
Shouldst take my pardon back,
Cut short my gracious day,
Forget; and utterly forsake,
And cast me quite away.

398

Jesus—but O! at last
He shuts His mercy's door;
My doom is fix'd, my hour is past;
He answers me no more;
My days extinct, my hope
Cut off, my heart is stone,
The measure of my sin fill'd up,
And peace for ever gone.

The sin avenging God
His fiery wrath darts in,
Adds woe to woe, and load to load,
And chastens sin with sin:
The pangs of hell I taste,
The bitter trembling cup;
His arrows in my soul stick fast,
And drink my spirits up.

O horrid, horrid state!
O depth of hopeless woe!
Why do I in this torture wait,
And not the utmost know?
Why do I lingering stand,
And not myself relieve?—
It must be God that stops my hand,
And forces me to live.

But is it possible
That God should care for me!
Then may He yet my doom repeal,
And end my misery.
He may for Jesu's sake:
Jesus, the sinner's Peace,
Into Thy hands the matter take,
And all my griefs shall cease.

399

Save me! I ask not how;
But save me in this hour:
O snatch me from destruction now,
Nor let the foe devour:
I ask not instant rest,
But let me bear my load,
And find at last my Saviour's breast,
And sink into my God.

This is my utmost hope
(When all Thy wrath is past,
When I have drunk the poison up,)
To taste Thy love at last;
When I have borne my shame,
And suffer'd all my sin,
Open Thine arms, Thou lovely Lamb,
And take the sinner in.

If hope be in my end,
I all things else resign;
Yet on Thy sufferings I depend,
And not, O Lord, on mine.
But let me hide my face,
And sink into the dust,
Till Thou at last restore Thy grace,
And freely save the lost.

Be it a vale of tears
Where'er I live below,
Throughout my evil days, or years,
Still let mine eyes o'erflow.
But ere I end my race,
Bid me Thy mercy prove,
And let my latest breath be praise,
My latest passion love.

400

LXI. THE SAME.

Hymn 11.

[Why, (in the dust I ask,) O why]

Why, (in the dust I ask,) O why,
Good God, hast Thou my soul forsook?
Abandon'd me in sin to die,
Blotted my name out of Thy book,
Cast out my unavailing prayer,
And left me in the fowler's snare?

Did I not oft beseech Thee, Lord,
To take me from this evil day,
To slay me with Thy mercy's sword,
To sweep me far from earth away,
And hide me in the quiet tomb,
Where sin could never, never come!

Yet O! my enemy hath found,
And forced his slave again to yield;
My spirit feels the mortal wound,
And all my hopes of death are kill'd;
In sad despair of rest I grieve,
And still I sin, and still I live.

Why did I not resign my breath,
Before this last, this foul offence?
Sin hath defrauded me of death,
While God delay'd to snatch me hence;
O God of love, the doubt explain,
Why have I lived to sin again?

In judgment dost Thou here reprieve,
That I may all my sin fill up?
A monument of Thy justice live?—
Why am I then constrain'd to hope,
Why do I still for mercy groan,
And trembles still my heart of stone?

401

O this inexplicable doubt!
My prayer was heard, and yet I fell:
Thy judgments are past finding out,
Thy ways are all unsearchable!
This only do I know, 'tis mine
To sin; to pardon sin is Thine.

Assist me then to come once more,
And take the freely proffer'd grace,
Me to Thy favour, Lord, restore,
Me with Thine arms of love embrace,
And hear me in Thy bosom breathe
My passionate desires of death.

Still do I urge my sole request,
In horror of offending Thee,
Snatch me to my eternal rest,
Before the evil day I see,
Save from the more than mortal pain,
Nor let me live to sin again.

Wouldst Thou not rather have me fly
From earth, than stay to lose Thy love?
Die, and not sin, than sin and die?
O take me to Thy rest above,
Now, Lord, my struggling soul set free,
Renew, and bid me die in Thee.

LXII. THE SAME.

Hymn 12.

[O that my load were gone]

O that my load were gone,
That I my wish might have,
Be saved from sin, and then sink down
Into a quiet grave!

402

Where grief and guilty care
Can never more molest:
The wicked cease from troubling there,
The weary are at rest.

O that I now could find
A place to lay my head;
Be clean forgot, and out of mind,
And free among the dead!
O that the hour were come!
That I my head might bow,
And gain the harbour of the tomb,
And yield my spirit now!

Who that hath ever known
The bitterness of sin,
Would not for full redemption groan,
And die to be made clean?
But all in vain our hope
By death to be set free,
Unless we after God wake up,
And here His glory see.

How then dare I presume,
Unchanged, and unrenew'd,
To wish for death—to meet my doom
And perish in my blood!
Even now (but God denies
My foolish heart's desire)
I should be lifting up my eyes
In everlasting fire.

Ah! gracious Lord, forgive
My unbelieving haste;
My time is in Thy hand, I leave
It all to Thee at last:

403

I do at last comply,
My stubborn will resign;
Choose Thou for me to live, or die,
And let Thy choice be mine.

Still hide from me Thy face,
But give me strength to bear
The guilty load, the dire disgrace,
The sadness of despair:
Still let me groan beneath
A nature all unclean,
And drag the body of this death,
And feel this hell of sin.

Why should a man complain,
Beneath the vengeful rod!
'Tis all my due, the penal pain,
The absence of my God;
An heavier doom than this
My sin deserves to feel,
The darkness of the great abyss,
The hottest flames of hell.

With patience then I yield
To bear my lighter doom,
And wait till all my time's fulfill'd,
And my last change is come;
Only when all is past,
In pity think on me,
And save me as by fire at last,
And let me die in Thee.

404

LXIII. THE SAME.

Hymn 13.

O my God, no longer mine!
I have cast off His yoke,
Broke through all the threats Divine,
Through all the mercies broke:
I have turn'd to sin again,
The sin that claims me for its own;
Sin, and shame, and guilt, and pain,
And hell, and I are one.

Where is now my strife and care
And vows from sin to fly?
Where the answer of that prayer,
“O rather let me die!
Let me quit this wretched life,
And die, that I may sin no more”?—
I have sinn'd, and all my strife,
And all my hope is o'er.

Would to God, that I had died,
Ere I the deed had done,
Mock'd afresh, and crucified,
And trampled on His Son!
All in vain I wish, and pray,
It is, and cannot but have been:
Who can call back yesterday,
Or nullify my sin?

With a diamond's point it stands
Engraven on my heart,
Wrote by mine, and Satan's hands,
It mocks the' eraser's art:
Deep as hell's foundations driven
Into my soul the marks remain:
Is there dew in that fair heaven
To purge so foul a stain?

405

Dare I lift again mine eyes,
And ask the' atoning God,
What His speaking blood replies,
His sin expurging blood!
Is it all Thy blood can cleanse,
And melt so foul an heart of stone?
Mercy's whole omnipotence
May here be fully shown.

Me if Thou canst still restore,
Now, Lord, my doom repeal,
Bid me stand as heretofore,
As I had never fell:
If such power be in Thy blood,
Now, now repeat my sins forgiven,
Draw me through the cleansing flood,
And snatch me up to heaven.

LXIV. THE SAME.

Hymn 14.

[Jesus, let Thy pitying eye]

Jesus, let Thy pitying eye
Call back a wandering sheep,
False to Thee like Peter I
Would fain like Peter weep:
Let me be by grace restored,
On me be all longsuffering shown;
Turn, and look upon me, Lord,
And break my heart of stone.

Saviour, Prince, enthroned above,
Repentance to impart,
Give me through Thy dying love
The humble contrite heart:

406

Give what I have long implored,
A portion of Thy grief unknown;
Turn, and look, &c.

In restoring love again,
O Jesus, visit me,
Give me back that pleasing pain,
That blessed misery:
Now Thy tendering grace afford,
And make me Thine afflicted one:
Turn, and look, &c.

Harder than the flinty rock
My stubborn heart remains,
Till I feel Thy mercy's stroke,
I only bite my chains,
Sinning on, though self-abhorr'd,
As devils in their chains I groan:
Turn, and look, &c.

For Thine own compassion's sake
The gracious wonder show,
Cast my sins behind Thy back,
And wash me white as snow;
If Thy bowels now are stirr'd,
If now I would myself bemoan,
Turn, and look, &c.

See me, Saviour, from above,
Nor suffer me to die;
Life, and happiness, and love
Drop from Thy gracious eye;
Speak the reconciling word,
And let Thy mercy melt me down;
Turn, and look, &c.

407

Look, as when Thine eye pursued
The first apostate man,
Saw him weltering in his blood,
And bade him rise again;
Speak my paradise restored,
Redeem me by Thy grace alone:
Turn, and look, &c.

Look, as when Thy pity saw
Thine own in a strange land,
Forced to' obey the tyrant's law,
And feel his heavy hand:
Speak the soul redeeming word,
And out of Egypt call Thy son;
Turn, and look, &c.

Look, as when Thy weeping eye
The bloody city view'd,
Those, who stoned and doom'd to die
The prophets, and their God:
I deserve their sad reward,
But this my gracious day I own:
Turn, and look, &c.

Look, as when Thy grace beheld
The harlot in distress,
Dried her tears, her pardon seal'd,
And bade her go in peace:
Foul like her, and self-abhorr'd,
I at Thy feet for mercy groan:
Turn, and look, &c.

Look, as when condemn'd for them
Thou didst Thy followers see,
“Daughters of Jerusalem,
Weep for yourselves, not Me!”

408

Am I by my God deplored,
And shall I not myself bemoan?
Turn, and look, &c.

Look, as when Thy languid eye
Was closed that we might live,
Father, (at the point to die
My Saviour gasp'd,) forgive!
Surely with that dying word
He turns, and looks, and cries, 'Tis done!
O my bleeding, loving Lord,
Thou break'st my heart of stone!

LXV. THE SAME.

Hymn 15.

[How happy are they]

PART I.

How happy are they,
Who the Saviour obey,
And have laid up their treasure above,
Tongue cannot express
The sweet comfort, and peace
Of a soul in its earliest love.

That comfort was mine,
When the favour Divine
I first found in the blood of the Lamb;
When my heart it believed,
What a joy it received,
What a heaven in Jesus's name!

'Twas an heaven below
My Saviour to know;
The angels could do nothing more
Than fall at His feet,
And the story repeat,
And the Lover of sinners adore.

409

Jesus all the day long
Was my joy and my song;
O that all His salvation may see!
He hath loved me, I cried,
He hath suffer'd, and died,
To redeem such a rebel as me.

On the wings of His love
I was carried above
All sin, and temptation, and pain;
I could not believe
That I ever should grieve,
That I ever should suffer again.

I rode on the sky,
(Freely justified I!)
Nor envied Elijah his seat;
My soul mounted higher
In a chariot of fire,
And the moon it was under my feet.

O the rapturous height
Of that holy delight,
Which I felt in the life-giving blood!
Of my Saviour possess'd
I was perfectly blest,
As if fill'd with the fulness of God.

PART II.

Ah, where am I now!
When was it, or how
That I fell from my heaven of grace!
I am brought into thrall,
I am stripp'd of my all,
I am banish'd from Jesus's face.

410

Hardly yet do I know
How I let my Lord go,
So insensibly starting aside,
When the tempter came in
With his own subtle sin,
And infected my spirit with pride.

But I felt it too soon,
That my Saviour was gone,
Swiftly vanishing out of my sight;
My triumph and boast
On a sudden were lost,
And my day it was turn'd into night.

Only pride could destroy
That innocent joy,
And make my Redeemer depart:
But whate'er was the cause,
I lament the sad loss,
For the veil is come over my heart.

Ah! wretch that I am!
I can only exclaim,
Like a devil tormented within,
My Saviour is gone,
And has left me alone
To the fury of Satan and sin.

Nothing now can relieve,
Without comfort I grieve,
I have lost all my peace and my power:
No access do I find
To the Friend of mankind;
I can ask for His mercy no more.

411

Tongue cannot declare
The torment I bear;
(While no end of my troubles I see;)
Only Adam could tell
On the day that he fell,
And was turn'd out of Eden like me.

Driven out from my God,
I wander abroad,
Through a desert of sorrows I rove;
And how great is my pain,
That I cannot regain
My Eden of Jesus's love!

I never shall rise
To my first paradise,
Or come my Redeemer to see:
But I feel a faint hope,
That at last He will stoop,
And His pity shall bring Him to me.

LXVI. THE SAME.

Hymn 16.

[O Jesus, my Hope]

O Jesus, my Hope,
When wilt Thou lift up
A lost sinner that lies at Thy feet?
If Thou cast out my prayer,
I shall die in despair,
And sink into the bottomless pit.

Thou know'st my sad case,
I am fallen from grace,
And possess'd by a spirit unclean;
I have lost all my power,
I am every hour
Dropping into the Tophet of sin.

412

How weak was my heart
With my Saviour to part,
Who had sprinkled me once with His blood!
Yet I threw off His yoke,
And presumptuously broke
From the arms of a merciful God.

Now I languish in vain
Thy love to regain,
But find for repentance no place:
Thou hast left me to mourn,
And I cannot return,
Or recover Thy forfeited grace.

Ah! what shall I say?
I have squander'd away
My portion of mercy Divine;
I have sinn'd in Thy sight,
I have done Thee despite,
And gone back to my husks, and my swine.

Nothing is there in me
Thy glory can see,
But the fulness of passion and pride;
My heart is unclean,
My whole nature is sin,
In the confines of hell I abide.

O how shall I move
Thy compassion and love
To consider my desperate grief?
I can only confess
My sin and distress,
And go out of myself for relief.

To the Fountain I go,
Which so freely did flow
In pardons from Jesus's side:

413

O my Saviour, and God,
Let the water and blood
Be again to my conscience applied.

Do not look upon me
But as ransom'd by Thee;
Remember, O Lord, what Thou art:
A mere sinner I am,
But I call on Thy name,
I appeal to Thy pitiful heart.

Now, now let me die,
At Thy feet while I lie,
Delight, if Thou canst, in my death,
But I surely shall feel,
Ere I fall into hell,
That the arms of Thy love are beneath.

LXVII. THE SAME.

Hymn 17.

[O wretched man of hopeless grief!]

O wretched man of hopeless grief!
What shall I do, or whither fly?
Shut up in sin, and unbelief,
Afraid to live, afraid to die,
In bitterness of soul I mourn,
And rue the day that I was born.

Is there no balm in Gilead found?
Is there no kind physician there,
To heal my spirit's desperate wound,
To mitigate my sad despair?
No word to' assuage my misery,
No promise of relief for me?

414

Where is the helpless sinner's Friend?
Where is the weary wanderer's rest?
Wilt Thou not bid my sorrows end?
Wilt Thou not calm my troubled breast,
And show forth all Thy gracious art,
And stamp forgiveness on my heart?

I know not how Thy love will deal
With such a poor, backsliding soul;
Yet let me hope Thy blood to feel,
Hope against hope to be made whole,
And humbly still Thy grace desire,
And weeping at Thy feet expire.

LXVIII. THE SAME.

Hymn 18.

[O mercy Divine!]

O mercy Divine!
When shall it be mine!
'Tis mercy alone
Can ransom a soul so entirely undone!

So fallen from grace,
So far from His face
Who brought me to God,
And sprinkled me once with His life-giving blood!

Base wretch that I am!
With sorrow and shame
The sin I confess
Which robb'd me of all my sweet comfort and peace.

Ah, how could I grieve
His Spirit, and leave
A Saviour so kind,
Who labour'd so long a lost sinner to find?

415

I follow'd an heart
Ever prone to depart
From Jesus my Lord,
And threw off His yoke, and rejected His word.

I thwarted His will,
My own to fulfil,
To nature gave way,
And suffer'd my lusts to recover their sway.

I left my first zeal,
And insensibly fell,
And started aside,
Betray'd into passion by slackness and pride:

My folly return'd
To Egypt, and burn'd
For sensual delight,
And did my adorable Saviour despite.

Through selfish desire
I made Him retire,
(Though loath to depart,)
And leave a divided idolatrous heart.

He left me alone
In nature sunk down,
Till awaken'd again
I felt all the weight of mine enemy's chain.

I felt it; and still
My burden I feel,
My punishment bear,
And hardly to hope for forgiveness I dare.

So soon I abuse
His mercy, and lose
The tendering power,
Plunged deeper in sin and distress than before.

416

Ah! what shall I do?
He only must show
Whose pity can find
A cause in Himself to be gracious and kind.

Whose mercies exceed
My offences, and plead
Unwearied for me;
Whose love is a boundless and bottomless sea.

My refuge is this
Unexhausted abyss;
Forsaken of all,
Lord, into Thy ocean of mercy I fall.

Here, Jesu, am I
Determined to lie,
Thy goodness to prove,
And if I am lost, to be lost in Thy love.

LXIX. THE SAME.

Hymn 19.

[Jesu, I believe Thee near]

Jesu, I believe Thee near:
Now my fallen soul restore,
Now my guilty conscience clear,
Give me back my peace and power;
Stone to flesh again convert,
Write forgiveness on my heart.

I believe Thy pardoning grace
As at the beginning, free:
Open are Thy arms to' embrace
Me, the worst of rebels me;
All in me the hindrance lies,
Call'd, I still refuse to rise.

417

Still my carnal mind withstands,
Still I madly hug my chain,
Start from Thy extended hands,
Will not be received again,
Backwards cast my wishful eye,
Linger still from sin to fly.

Yet for Thy own mercy sake,
Patience with Thy rebel have,
Me Thy mercy's witness make,
Monument of Thy power to save,
Make me willing to be free,
Restless to be saved by Thee.

Now the gracious work begin,
Now for good some token give;
Give me now to feel my sin,
Give me now my sin to leave;
Bid me look on Thee, and mourn,
Bid me to Thy arms return.

Take this heart of stone away,
Melt me into gracious tears;
Grant me power to watch and pray,
Till Thy lovely face appears,
Till Thy favour I retrieve,
Till by faith again I live.

LXX. THE SAME.

Hymn 20.

[Still, O Lamb, to Thee I pray]

Still, O Lamb, to Thee I pray,
I, the vile backslider I,
Take, O take my sins away,
Haste Thy balmy blood to' apply,
Bid the power of sin depart,
Drop Thy blood upon my heart.

418

Weary, weary, and oppress'd
Shall I come to Thee in vain?
Wilt Thou, Lord, deny me rest,
Canst Thou leave me to my pain,
Crush'd by my own misery,
Perishing for want of Thee?

Lord, I cannot let Thee go,
Till Thou give me back my peace;
Wilt Thou not the grace bestow?
Wilt Thou not my sins dismiss?
From the guilt and power set free,
Justify the damn'd in me!

If Thou all compassion art,
If to me Thy bowels move,
Trouble, and make soft my heart,
Melt it by Thy pardoning love,
Now from all my sins release,
Loose, and bid me go in peace.

LXXI. THE SAME.

Hymn 21.

[How shall a lost sinner in pain]

How shall a lost sinner in pain
Recover his forfeited peace?
When brought into bondage again
What hope of a second release?
Will mercy itself be so kind
To spare such a rebel as me?
And O! can I possibly find
Such plenteous redemption in Thee?

O Jesus, of Thee I inquire
If still Thou art able to save,
The brand to pluck out of the fire
And ransom my soul from the grave?

419

The help of Thy Spirit restore,
And show me the life-giving blood,
And pardon a sinner once more,
And bring me again unto God.

O Jesus, in pity draw near,
Come quickly to help a lost soul,
To comfort a mourner appear,
And make a poor Lazarus whole:
The balm of Thy mercy apply,
(Thou seest the sore anguish I feel,)
Save, Lord, or I perish, I die,
O save, or I sink into hell!

I sink if Thou longer delay
Thy pardoning mercy to show;
Come quickly, and kindly display
The power of Thy passion below!
By all Thou hast done for my sake
One drop of Thy blood I implore:
Now, now let it touch me, and make
The sinner a sinner no more.

LXXII. THE SAME.

—Hymn 22.

[Turn, Thou Friend of sinners, turn]

Turn, Thou Friend of sinners, turn
On my soul Thy gracious eye,
Let me for Thy glory mourn,
For Thine injured honour cry:
Melt me by Thy pitying look,
Me who have my Lord forsook.

Come Thou greater than my heart,
Come, and now the stone remove,
Now the bitter grief impart,
Grief at having grieved Thy love,

420

Thee so faithlessly denied,
Thee so often crucified!

Worldly grief be far away,
Trouble at my sufferings here!
Huge affliction, sore dismay,
Burning shame, and racking fear,
These are but my lightest load:
I have sinn'd against my God.

O that this might swallow up
All my pains, and griefs, and fears!
I have made my God to stoop,
Made Thee lose Thy precious tears,
Made Thee shed Thy blood again,
Die ten thousand times in vain.

Help me, O Thou Man of woe,
Now to feel my misery:
Now the gracious token show,
Let me now lament for Thee,
Grieve for all that I have done,
Weep for Thy dear sake alone.

Hence let all my troubles rise,
Hence let all my sorrows flow,
Stream the fountains of my eyes,
Heave my breast with endless woe,
Feel my flesh the killing smart,
Fail my spirit, and break my heart!

LXXIII. THE SAME.

Hymn 23.

[O my God, my God forgive]

O my God, my God forgive:
All Thy wrath I cannot bear,
Cannot suffer on, and live:
If Thy purpose is to spare,

421

If Thou canst so greatly save,
Now redeem me from the grave.

See Thy creature most distress'd,
Stretch'd upon the rack of fears,
Mark the earthquake in my breast,
Mark the torrent of my tears;
All my pangs unspeakable
See, and O! vouchsafe to feel.

O Thou gracious Son of God,
O Thou loving Man of grief,
Lighten now my mountain load,
Now afford me some relief;
In my end if hope there be,
If Thou yet canst pardon me.

Quench this cruel hell of doubt,
All this unbelief remove:
Wilt Thou cast a sinner out,
One that hangs upon Thy love,
Feebly gasping after grace,
Canst Thou drive me from Thy face?

Break not off my weakest hold,
Do not to my haters leave,
To my fierce oppressors sold
Once again my soul retrieve;
For Thy truth, and mercy sake
Cast my sins behind Thy back.

Might I find Thy pardoning love,
Then I all things could sustain,
Glory (if my God approve)
In the frown of hostile man,
Bless the sacred infamy
Scorn'd by man and prized by Thee.

422

LXXIV. THE SAME.

Hymn 24.

[O God Thy righteousness we own]

O God Thy righteousness we own,
Judgment is at Thy house begun!
With humblest awe Thy rod we hear,
And guilty in Thy sight appear;
We cannot in Thy judgment stand,
But sink beneath Thy mighty hand.

Our mouth as in the dust we lay,
And still for mercy, mercy pray;
Unworthy to behold Thy face,
Unfaithful stewards of Thy grace,
Our sin, and wickedness we own,
And deeply for acceptance groan.

We have not, Lord, Thy gifts improved,
But basely from Thy statutes roved,
And done Thy loving Spirit despite,
And sinn'd against the clearest light;
Brought back Thine agonizing pain,
And nail'd Thee to Thy cross again.

Yet do not drive us from Thy face,
A stiff-neck'd, and hard-hearted race;
But O! in tender mercy break
The iron sinew in our neck;
The softening power of love impart,
And melt the marble of our heart.

LXXV. THE SAME.

Hymn 25.

[What shall an helpless sinner do]

What shall an helpless sinner do
Who long from God have fell?
Satan, the world, and sin pursue,
And hunt me down to hell.

423

Entangled in the fowler's snare,
The toils of sin, I lie,
Bound with the fetters of despair,
And wish, and fear to die.

Out of the deep I cry, and mourn
In hopeless misery,
My breast with raging passions torn
Is all a troubled sea.

Whate'er a Christless soul can wound
I feel, I feel it here;
But not a fiend in hell is found
So fierce as guilty fear.

Abandon'd to the fury's will,
I prove her utmost power,
And twice ten thousand deaths I feel,
Yet live to suffer more.

With me the ghastly spectre walks
In every secret shade,
In all her horrid forms she stalks
Around my sleepless bed.

She seizes, holds, and weighs me down,
Strangles my infant hope,
Harrows me with her chilling frown,
And drinks my spirits up.

The world she sets in fierce array,
The murderers of my fame,
Anticipates the dreadful day,
And blazons all my shame.

My every weakness she bewrays,
And swells into a crime,
Torments me with severe disgrace,
Torments—before my time.

424

My poor despairing soul she racks
With agonizing smart,
Her whip of knotted vipers shakes,
And tears my bleeding heart.

She mocks my unavailing cry,
When crush'd beneath my load,
Where'er I look, where'er I fly,
Presents an angry God.

The burning pit she open throws,
The hellish misery,
And tells me, these eternal woes
Are all reserved for me.

My soul shrinks back—but O! to whom
Or whither shall I run?
Will God the Just reverse my doom,
And hear my latest groan?

His anger most of all I fear,
And dread to meet His eye,
Yet O! unless I find Him near,
I must for ever die.

See then I at Thy feet once more
My guilty spirit cast,
Here (if Thou wilt not yet restore)
Resolved to groan my last.

LXXVI. THE SAME.

Hymn 26.

[In trouble I seek Thee, O God]

In trouble I seek Thee, O God,
Compell'd by the burden I bear,
Constrain'd by the stroke of Thy rod
I pour out a penitent prayer:

425

Ah! do not abhor my sad moan,
Extorted, alas! by distress,
But hear, and with pity look down,
And send me an answer of peace.

What must a poor prodigal do
Thy forfeited grace to regain?
My trouble I only can show,
And tell Thee my sorrow and pain:
I only for mercy can cry,
And groan with the sense of my load.
Save, Lord, or I perish, I die,
I die in my sins, and my blood.

I own, I have sinn'd in Thy sight,
Have sinn'd against knowledge and love,
And done Thy good Spirit despite;
Yet look on my Surety above!
His passion alone is my plea,
His free inexhaustible grace:
My Advocate answer'd for me,
And Jesus hath died in my place.

O Father of mercies restore,
For Jesus's merits alone,
And heal a backslider once more,
And give me again to Thy Son:
If still Thou art able to spare,
If infinite mercy Thou art,
Reply to my penitent prayer,
And whisper Thy peace to my heart.

426

LXXVII. THE SAME.

Hymn 27.

[O that the love of God]

O that the love of God,
Which once I sweetly felt,
Again were shed abroad,
This stony heart to melt!
Love only can the conquest win,
My desperate soul restore,
And save me from the guilt of sin,
And save me from the power.

This base unworthy breast
I smite, alas! in vain,
But cannot find Thy rest,
But cannot love again,
Till Thou the Spirit of Holiness
The Loving Spirit send,
To heal my wounds, and seal my peace,
And bid my sorrows end.

Consider, gracious Lord,
How short my time below,
And now repeat the word,
And loose, and let me go;
From sin, the world, and Satan's chain
My struggling spirit free,
And let me find my peace again,
And live and die in Thee.

LXXVIII. THE SAME.

Hymn 28.

[O that I could repent]

O that I could repent,
With all my idols part,
And to Thy gracious eye present
An humble contrite heart!

427

An heart with grief oppress'd
At having grieved my God,
A troubled heart that cannot rest
Till sprinkled with Thy blood!

Jesu, on me bestow
The penitent desire,
With true sincerity of woe,
My aching breast inspire;
With softening pity look,
And melt my hardness down,
Strike with Thy love's effectual stroke,
And break this heart of stone.

O for Thy glorious name
My flinty bosom move,
And let me feel my load of shame,
And groan my want of love:
Low in the deepest deep
My humbled spirit lay,
And give me there to cry, and weep
My pensive life away.

Absorb'd in ceaseless woe,
No interval I crave,
But softly all my days to go,
And mourning to the grave;
Till all my pains are past,
And Thou my soul require:—
But let me see Thy face at last,
And in Thy arms expire.

LXXIX. THE SAME.

Hymn 29.

[Gracious God, what shall I do?]

Gracious God, what shall I do?
Never will my heart prove true?

428

Never firm or constant prove,
Never keep Thy pardoning love?
All my vows are broke again,
All my purposes are vain,
Useless all my watchful fears,
Lost my unavailing tears.

How did I Thy help implore,
Beg that I might sin no more,
Strive in agony of prayer,
Death itself to sin prefer!
Yet my enemy hath found,
Dealt the oft-inflicted wound,
All my hopes again destroy'd,
Kill'd the tender life of God.

Deeper plunged in guilt and shame,
Whom, alas! have I to blame?
Can I, who to sin gave place,
Charge Thy insufficient grace?
No, Thy slighted grace I clear,
Thou to help wert always near,
But I ceased to watch and pray,
Slacken'd, sunk, and fell away.

Shall I then the strife give o'er,
Never sue for mercy more,
To my fearful doom submit,
Sink content into the pit?
No, Thy mercy answers, No!
Mercy will not let me go,
Still Thy yearning bowels cry,
“Wherefore wilt thou sin, and die?”

Lord, to Thee what shall I say?
Shall I promise still to' obey?

429

Aggravate my guilt and pain,
Make, to break my vows again?
Lord, I know not what to do!
Only Thou the way canst show:
When, and as Thou wilt restore,
Lift me up to fall no more.

Till that welcome day I see,
Let me sorrow after Thee;
Weeping at Thy footstool lie,
Still for mercy, mercy cry,
Cry,—or make my speechless moan,
Groan the spirit's deepest groan,
Gasp Thy favour to retrieve,
Die to see Thy face—and live!

LXXX. THE SAME.

Hymn 30.

[Father, I in Thy strength arise]

Father, I in Thy strength arise
From my dead sleep of sin,
And lift with shame my guilty eyes,
And groan to be made clean.

Unworthy to be call'd Thy son,
Yet a good hope I feel,
Thou never wilt Thyself disown,
Thou art my Father still.

The Father of my dying Lord,
And therefore mine Thou art;
Thy bowels are in Jesus stirr'd,
And full of love Thy heart.

That fulness of Thy pitying love
To me in Christ reveal,
Again my unbelief remove,
Again my pardon seal.

430

The word of reconciling grace
I long to feel applied:
O let me see Thy smiling face,
And know Thee pacified.

Thy prodigal in Christ receive,
The forfeiture restore,
Forgive, for Jesus' sake forgive,
And bid me sin no more.

LXXXI. THE SAME.

Hymn 31.

[O Jesus, full of truth and grace]

O Jesus, full of truth and grace,
Show forth Thy truth and grace on me,
On me let all Thy will take place;
Speak the kind word, and set me free
From sin and Satan's iron chain;
O give me back my peace again.

Would I not in Thy name believe?
Thy name is all I want to know:
Thou canst, Thou canst my sin forgive,
This moment touch me white as snow,
This moment my backslidings heal,
And speak the gracious word, “I will!”

Willing to save, I know, Thou art,
Thy love is equal to Thy power:
Why then dost Thou far off depart,
Why dost Thou let the foe devour,
My prayer cast out, my suit repel,
And leave me in the toils of hell!

Whate'er in me obstructs the way,
Art Thou not ready to remove?
My lusts and appetites to slay,
And crucify my creature love,

431

The sacred willingness to' infuse,
The power eternal life to choose?

Why am I then, ah! show me why
This weak, entangled, wretched thing?
Afraid to live, afraid to die?
Nor death nor life have lost their sting;
A living death, alas! I bear,
Cut off from hope, and from despair.

A mystery of grief, and sin,
Out of the deep I cry to Thee,
End, Jesus, end this war within,
Set my sad soul at liberty:
My groaning soul on Thee I cast,
Redeem, and let me groan my last.

LXXXII. THE SAME.

Hymn 32.

[O that I could revere]

O that I could revere
My much offended God!
O that I could but stand in fear
Of Thy afflicting rod!
The rod I long have borne;
O may I dread the pain,
And never more to folly turn,
And never sin again!

Remembering my distress,
The wormwood and the gall,
For help against my wickedness
On Thee I humbly call:
Whom mercy cannot draw
Thou by Thy threatenings move,
And keep an abject soul in awe,
That will not yield to love.

432

Show me the naked sword
Impendent o'er my head,
And let me tremble at Thy word,
And to my ways take heed:
With sacred horror fly
From every sinful snare,
Nor ever in my Judge's eye
My Judge's anger dare.

Thou great, tremendous God,
The conscious awe impart,
The grace be now on me bestow'd,
The tender fleshly heart:
For Jesu's sake alone
The stony heart remove,
And melt at last, O melt me down
Into the mould of love.

LXXXIII. THE SAME.

Hymn 33.

[All-good, Almighty God]

All-good, Almighty God,
How can Thy creature be
So long oppress'd beneath his load
Who groans for help to Thee?
My soul how canst Thou leave
To struggle with its chain,
To strive against my sin, and grieve,
And grieve and strive in vain?

Surely the hindrance lies
In me, in me alone;
Thee only just, and true, and wise,
And merciful I own:

433

Why then dost Thou delay
The hindrance to remove,
And kindly force my stubborn clay
To take the stamp of love?

Dost Thou, to break my pride,
Refuse to heal my wound,
And let me still in sin abide,
That grace may more abound?
Ah no! Thy purity
My sin would never choose,
Thou canst not, Lord, to humble me,
The help of Satan use.

Dost Thou refuse to hear
The object of Thy hate,
The vessel of Thy wrath severe,
The hopeless reprobate?
Why then am I withheld
From blasphemous despair?
Why am I thus again compell'd
To plead with Thee in prayer?

Righteous in all Thy ways,
Dost Thou Thy grace restrain,
To' avenge the quarrel of Thy grace,
By me received in vain?
But at my greatest need
Have I no friend above,
No advocate my cause to plead
Before the throne of love?

My Saviour prays for me,
Yet no relief I feel,
Fast bound in sin and misery,
Unsaved, unhappy still

434

Who shall the cause declare,
The secret bar reveal?
Past finding out Thy judgments are,
Thy ways unsearchable.

Here then I lay me down
In darkness, grief, and shame;
A sinner, O Thou God unknown,
But in Thy hands I am:
My sole Disposer Thou,
And what Thou dost with me,
And what my end, I know not now,
But leave it all to Thee.

LXXXIV. THE SAME.

Hymn 34.

[O that I could repent]

O that I could repent,
O that I could believe!
Thou by Thy voice the marble rent,
The rock in sunder cleave;
Thou by Thy two-edged sword
My soul and spirit part;
Strike with the hammer of Thy word,
And break my stubborn heart.

Saviour and Prince of Peace,
The double grace bestow,
Unloose the bands of wickedness,
And let the captive go:
Grant me my sins to feel,
And then the load remove,
Wound, and pour in my wounds to heal,
The balm of pardoning love.

435

Or, if Thou wilt, keep back
That joyous sense of grace,
But let me now my sins forsake,
And hate all evil ways;
Hate with a perfect hate
Whatever thwarts Thy will,
And groan beneath my guilty weight,
And bear my burden still.

Do with me as Thou wilt,
But leave me not to' increase
My debt of old contracted guilt,
My load of wickedness:
Save me from farther sin,
From farther misery,
And fix a mighty gulf between
The cursed thing and me.

For Thy own mercy sake,
The cursed thing remove;
And into Thy protection take
The prisoner of Thy love:
In every trying hour
Stand by my feeble soul,
And screen me from my nature's power
Till Thou hast made me whole.

This is Thy will, I know,
That I should holy be,
Should let my sin this moment go,
This moment turn to Thee;
O might I now embrace
Thine all-sufficient power,
And never more to sin give place,
And never grieve Thee more

436

LXXXV. THE SAME.

Hymn 35.

[Alas, it must be so!]

Alas, it must be so!
I mournfully confess
The only cause of pain and woe
Is sin and wickedness:
Constrain'd at last I am
To yield my full belief,
And own “that vice engenders shame,
And folly broods o'er grief.”

The righteous God and true
Hath made His justice known;
Because His will I would not do,
He leaves me to my own.
His long rejected grace
At last He takes away,
And now I cannot seek His face,
And now I cannot pray.

Without a gracious thought,
Without a wish of good,
I only have the thing I sought,
And reap what first I sow'd:
Pain in its cause I chose,
The sorrow and distress,
And all the misery that flows
From wilful wickedness.

Why then should I complain
Beneath my penal load,
Or kick against the pricks in vain,
Or murmur against God?
To His vindictive will
At last I meekly stoop,
And eat the bitter roll, and fill
My mournful measure up.

437

The heaviness of soul,
The pining want of rest,
The thoughts that in my bosom roll,
And tear my troubled breast,
The temporal despair
That gnaws my heart within,
'Tis less than I deserve to bear,
'Tis all the fruit of sin.

Sorrow, and loss, and shame,
And soul-distracting fear
May justly now their captive claim,
And seize and keep me here:
My strugglings all are past,
My hopes of comfort cease—
But let them, Lord, revive at last,
But let me die in peace.

LXXXVI. THE SAME.

Hymn 36.

[Father, I seek Thy face]

Father, I seek Thy face,
Which once with joy I saw,
But quickly forfeited Thy grace,
And lost my filial awe:
By sin, alas, beguiled!
Beneath Thy frown I grieve;
Pity Thy most rebellious child,
And, if Thou canst, forgive.

I know Thy justice wills
That I should suffer here;
And lo! my troubled spirit feels
Thy righteous wrath severe:

438

Left to myself, I groan
In vain Thy face to see,
My penal want of grace bemoan,
My penal want of Thee.

In all my griefs below
The fatal cause I read,
Thy justice aims each vengeful blow
At my faint, guilty head;
In every touch of pain
I feel a stroke of Thine,
And chasten'd by the rod of men
Revere the rod Divine.

Thy awful righteousness
I in Thy plagues revere,
Stripp'd of my power, and joy, and peace,
And every comfort here:
The loss of friends, and fame,
The wormwood, and the gall,
The bitterness of grief and shame,
My sins procured it all.

Yet what is all I bear
To what my sins require,
That blackness of extreme despair,
That everlasting fire!
Lord, I with thanks receive
Whate'er on earth I feel,
'Tis mercy all that here I live,
A sinner—not in hell.

Here let me still remain
(If so Thy will decree)
In quiet grief, and silent pain,
And patient misery:

439

Let me my burden bear,
While in the vale beneath,
And die ten thousand times for fear
Of that eternal death.

Yet, O my God, at last
The worst of sinners save,
When all my penal woes are past,
Redeem me from the grave:
That grave of souls accurs'd
O may I never see,
But save in death the chief, the worst
Of sinners save in me.

LXXXVII. THE SAME.

Hymn 37.

[Love Divine for Thee I languish]

Love Divine for Thee I languish,
Only Thou canst heal my care,
Only Thou canst ease my anguish,
Mitigate my sad despair:
Nothing in this low creation
Can my wretchedness remove,
All is sorrow and vexation,
Anguish all but Jesu's love.

Restless grief, and pain unceasing
Justly now the sinner claim:
Sin hath cursed my every blessing,
Turn'd my glory into shame,
Poison'd my sincerest pleasure,
Fill'd my soul with hellish smart,
Robb'd me of my heavenly treasure,
Forced the Saviour from my heart.

440

O my much offended Saviour,
May I still implore Thy grace?
Hope again to' obtain Thy favour,
Hope again to see Thy face?
Never, Lord, shall I believe it,
Till Thou dost the power impart,
Force my conscience to receive it,
Pardon stamp'd upon my heart.

University of Virginia Library

[TO ONE FALLEN FROM GRACE.]

LI. FOR ONE FALLEN FROM GRACE.

Hymn 1.