The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore Collected by Himself. In Ten Volumes |
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 | The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore |  |
94
A CORRECTED REPORT OF SOME LATE SPEECHES.
“Then I heard one saint speaking, and another saint said unto that saint.”
1834.
St. S---ncl---r rose and declar'd in sooth.
That he wouldn't give sixpence to Maynooth.
He had hated priests the whole of his life,
For a priest was a man who had no wife ,
And, having no wife, the Church was his mother,
The Church was his father, sister, and brother.
This being the case, he was sorry to say,
That a gulf 'twixt Papist and Protestant lay ,
So deep and wide, scarce possible was it
To say even “how d'ye do?” across it:
And though your Liberals, nimble as fleas,
Could clear such gulfs with perfect ease,
'Twas a jump that nought on earth could make
Your proper, heavy-built Christian take.
No, no,—if a Dance of Sects must be,
He would set to the Baptist willingly ,
At the Independent deign to smirk,
And rigadoon with old Mother Kirk;
Nay ev'n, for once, if needs must be,
He'd take hands round with all the three;
But, as to a jig with Popery, no,—
To the Harlot ne'er would he point his toe.
That he wouldn't give sixpence to Maynooth.
He had hated priests the whole of his life,
For a priest was a man who had no wife ,
And, having no wife, the Church was his mother,
The Church was his father, sister, and brother.
This being the case, he was sorry to say,
That a gulf 'twixt Papist and Protestant lay ,
95
To say even “how d'ye do?” across it:
And though your Liberals, nimble as fleas,
Could clear such gulfs with perfect ease,
'Twas a jump that nought on earth could make
Your proper, heavy-built Christian take.
No, no,—if a Dance of Sects must be,
He would set to the Baptist willingly ,
At the Independent deign to smirk,
And rigadoon with old Mother Kirk;
Nay ev'n, for once, if needs must be,
He'd take hands round with all the three;
But, as to a jig with Popery, no,—
To the Harlot ne'er would he point his toe.
St. M---nd---v---le was the next that rose,—
A Saint who round, as pedlar, goes,
With his pack of piety and prose,
Heavy and hot enough, God knows,—
And he said that Papists were much inclin'd
To extirpate all of Protestant kind,
Which he couldn't, in truth, so much condemn,
Having rather a wish to extirpate them;
That is,—to guard against mistake,—
To extirpate them for their doctrine's sake;
A distinction Churchmen always make,—
Insomuch that, when they've prime control,
Though sometimes roasting heretics whole,
They but cook the body for sake of the soul.
A Saint who round, as pedlar, goes,
With his pack of piety and prose,
Heavy and hot enough, God knows,—
96
To extirpate all of Protestant kind,
Which he couldn't, in truth, so much condemn,
Having rather a wish to extirpate them;
That is,—to guard against mistake,—
To extirpate them for their doctrine's sake;
A distinction Churchmen always make,—
Insomuch that, when they've prime control,
Though sometimes roasting heretics whole,
They but cook the body for sake of the soul.
Next jump'd St. J---hnst---n jollily forth,
The spiritual Dogberry of the North ,
A right “wise fellow, and, what's more,
An officer ,” like his type of yore;
And he ask'd, if we grant such toleration,
Pray, what's the use of our Reformation?
What is the use of our Church and State?
Our Bishops, Articles, Tithe, and Rate?
And, still as he yell'd out “what's the use?”
Old Echoes, from their cells recluse
Where they'd for centuries slept, broke loose,
Yelling responsive, “What's the use?”
The spiritual Dogberry of the North ,
A right “wise fellow, and, what's more,
An officer ,” like his type of yore;
And he ask'd, if we grant such toleration,
Pray, what's the use of our Reformation?
97
Our Bishops, Articles, Tithe, and Rate?
And, still as he yell'd out “what's the use?”
Old Echoes, from their cells recluse
Where they'd for centuries slept, broke loose,
Yelling responsive, “What's the use?”
“He objected to the maintenance and education of a clergy bound by the particular vows of celibacy, which, as it were, gave them the church as their only family, making it fill the places of father and mother and brother.” —Debate on the Grant to Maynooth College, The Times, April 19.
“It had always appeared to him that between the Catholic and Protestant a great gulf intervened, which rendered it impossible,” &c.
“The Baptist might acceptably extend the offices of religion to the Presbyterian and the Independent, or the member of the Church of England to any of the other three; but the Catholic,” &c.
| The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore | |