 | Poems (1791) |  |
EPIGRAMS.
The SICK MONKEY.
Epigram I.
A lady sent lately for one Doctor Drug,
To come in an instant, and clyster poor Pug—
As the fair one commanded he came at the word;
And did the grand office in tie-wig and sword.
To come in an instant, and clyster poor Pug—
As the fair one commanded he came at the word;
And did the grand office in tie-wig and sword.
The affair being ended, so sweet and so nice!
He held out his hand with “you—know, ma'am, my price.”
“Your price,” says the lady—“Why, Sir, he's your brother,
“And doctors must never take fees of each other.”
He held out his hand with “you—know, ma'am, my price.”
“Your price,” says the lady—“Why, Sir, he's your brother,
“And doctors must never take fees of each other.”
APOLLO and DAPHNE.
Epigram II.
When Phœbus was am'rous, and long'd to be rude,
Miss Daphne cry'd pish! and ran swift to the wood,
And rather than do such a naughty affair,
She became a fine laurel to deck the god's hair.
Miss Daphne cry'd pish! and ran swift to the wood,
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She became a fine laurel to deck the god's hair.
The nymph was be sure of a cold constitution,
To be turn'd to a tree was a strange resolution;
But in this she resembled a true modern spouse,
For she fled from his arms to distinguish his brows.
To be turn'd to a tree was a strange resolution;
But in this she resembled a true modern spouse,
For she fled from his arms to distinguish his brows.
The MISER and the MOUSE.
Epigram III.
To a Mouse says a Miser, “my dear Mr. Mouse,“Pray what may you please for to want in my house?”
Says the Mouse, “Mr. Miser, pray keep yourself quiet,
“You are safe in your person, your purse, and your diet:
“A lodging I want, which ev'n you may afford,
“But none wou'd come here to beg, borrow, or board.”
Epigram IV. On a Woman who was singing Ballads for Money to bury her Husband.
For her Husband deceas'd, Sally chants the sweet lay,Why, faith, this is singular sorrow;
But (I doubt) since she sings for a dead man to-day,
She'll cry for a live one to-morrow.
| Poems (1791) | |