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The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore

Collected by Himself. In Ten Volumes
  

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DOG-DAY REFLECTIONS.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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263

DOG-DAY REFLECTIONS.

BY A DANDY KEPT IN TOWN.

“Vox clamantis in deserto.”

1827.
Said Malthus, one day, to a clown
Lying stretch'd on the beach, in the sun,—
“What's the number of souls in this town?”—
“The number! Lord bless you, there's none.
“We have nothing but dabs in this place,
“Of them a great plenty there are;—
“But the soles, please your rev'rence and grace,
“Are all t'other side of the bar.”
And so 'tis in London just now,
Not a soul to be seen, up or down;—
Of dabs a great glut, I allow,
But your soles, every one, out of town.
East or west, nothing wond'rous or new;
No courtship or scandal, worth knowing;

264

Mrs. B---, and a Mermaid or two,
Are the only loose fish that are going.
Ah, where is that dear house of Peers,
That, some weeks ago, kept us merry?
Where, Eld---n, art thou, with thy tears?
And thou, with thy sense, L---d---d---y?
Wise Marquis, how much the Lord May'r,
In the dog-days, with thee must be puzzled!—
It being his task to take care
That such animals shan't go unmuzzled.
Thou, too, whose political toils
Are so worthy a captain of horse—
Whose amendments (like honest Sir Boyle's)
Are “amendments, that make matters worse;”
Great Chieftain, who takest such pains
To prove—what is granted, nem. con.

265

With how mod'rate a portion of brains
Some heroes contrive to get on.
And, thou, too, my R---d---sd---e, ah, where
Is the peer, with a star at his button,
Whose quarters could ever compare
With R---d---sd---e's five quarters of mutton?
Why, why have ye taken your flight,
Ye diverting and dignified crew?
How ill do three farces a night,
At the Haymarket, pay us for you!
For, what is Bombastes to thee,
My Ell*nbro', when thou look'st big?
Or, where's the burletta can be
Like L---d---rd*le's wit, and his wig?
I doubt if ev'n Griffinhoof could
(Though Griffin's a comical lad)

266

Invent any joke half so good
As that precious one, “This is too bad!”
Then come again, come again, Spring!
Oh haste thee, with Fun in thy train;
And—of all things the funniest—bring
These exalted Grimaldis again!
 

One of the shows of London.

More particularly his Grace's celebrated amendment to the Corn Bill; for which, and the circumstances connected with it, see Annual Register for a. d. 1827.

From a speech of Sir Boyle Roche's, in the Irish House of Commons.

The learning his Lordship displayed, on the subject of the butcher's “fifth quarter” of mutton, will not speedily be forgotten.

The nom de guerre under which Colman has written some of his best farces.