University of Virginia Library

Scene V.

THE FOREST OF SHERWOOD (F. Holding)—
Whose intricacies and glades the blades of Robin Hood make their favourite haunts.
Robin Hood and his company
discovered making themselves at home, as usual.
The joys of forest life.
Here's,—the woodland trees;
The summer breeze;
And the buck that roves the forest glade!
Oh, its merry in the gay green woods,
When leaves are large and long!

Robin.
Ha! Ha! Bravo, my gallant lads! Well said!
We'll drink a toast! Fill up, each jolly blade!

Scarlet.
Come, Bob, we'll have a song!

Omnes.
Agreed. A song! A song!

Air—“My own, my guiding Star.”—Robin Hood.
Oh! I will guard thee, evermore,
Nor ever say ta ta;
But will defy that ancient bore,
Sweet Daisy and her Pa.
At poverty thou need'st not quake;
Our own fat deer we'll kill;
And dine each day off venison steak,
Nor owe a butcher's bill.
Twelvepence per pound we need not give
For steaks, too much by far,
Thanks to my lucky star.

Enter Tuck, in gorgeous apparel.
Marian.
Oh, Robin! Look at Tuck! Oh, what a Guy!
You've played a pretty rig this time, my boy!

Air—“I like to be a Swell.”
Robin.
Observe, our friend appears in style,
In latest fashion dressed—
Peg-top trousers, coat, and tile;
He's a swell must be confessed.
Notice his graceful figure,
His Grecian face as well,
In corpulence and dress, you see,
He likes to be a swell.
CHORUS.
For he likes to be a swell,
To stroll about Pall Mall;
Or anywhere, he does not care,
So he can be a swell.

Friar.
Aw think as aw've these swell-clothes on
Aw'll tak the town by storm:
Tak the Free-trade Hall, and, like a mon,
Help th'nation to reform;
Spake up for the working class,
And the franchise as well;
Indeed, 'tis true, that's what aw'll do,
But yet aw'll be a swell.

Chorus.—Omnes.
(The King and his Party are seen approaching in the distance.)
Scarlet.
Hollo! What's this? We're in for a good thing.

Robin.
Stand back, my gallant lads; here comes the king!

Enter the Royal Party.
Sir Loin.
The king!

King.
How now, my forest lads?

Tuck.
Hooray!

King.
How goes it with my woodland bucks, to-day?

Tuck.
Oh, middling,—thank yo.

Sir Loin.
Silence! Stand away!

Tuck.
Ston fur thisel'! Aw've moor reet here than thee!
Thae'rt noan o'th king. That's very plain to see.
Aw wonder that he'll ha' sich chaps as thee.

Sir Loin.
Silence!

Tuck.
Gullook!

Robin.
Oh, Richard! Oh, my king! Upon my knee,—
A thousand welcomes to the forest free!
For thee we keep these woods; and Richard's will,
I, and my bowmen bold, do honour still.

King.
Rise, Robin, rise!

Robin.
I cannot rhyme or I would be thy bard;
But,—on my soul,—I am thy body-guard.
If I could sing, as I a bow can fondle,
I'd chant thy noble story,—like a Blondel!

Tuck.
Th'same here!

Sir Loin.
Silence!

King.
Robin; why, thou'rt mellow.
Give me thy fist, lad; thou'rt a jolly fellow!
I like thee well. There, Robin; that'll do;

Omnes.
We wish thee luck.

King.
Good lads; the same to you.
Now; let's be merry whilst I've got to stay!
An hour's frisk, or so; and then,—away!
Well; how goes merry Sherwood, Bob, my boy?
Hand me the horn, good fellow. I feel dry.

Tuck.
Here; sup wi' me, owd brid!

Sir Loin.
Stand back; you lout!

Tuck.
Aw say!—Bold Slasher! Mind what thae'rt about;
Or else, aw'll gi' that nob o' thine a clout!

Robin.
All's well, my honour'd liege!
(The Sheriff's party is seen approaching hastily in the distance.)
Hollo! What's this?
The Sheriff, and his daughter? That's amiss!

(The Sheriff and his party enter out of breath.)
Sir Brian.
Ha! Here's a sight to make one's blood run cold.

Daisy.
I twig! The market's over and,—we're sold.

Sir Brian.
These forest rogues have got the start of me;
But,—by the mass!—I'll,—never mind! you'll see!

Daisy.
Oh, dear papa; that nasty Marian's here!
And Robin looks—

Sir Brian.
You shut your trap, my dear!

Daisy.
Pa; What are all these fellows that I see?
I wonder Robin keeps such company.

Sir Brian.
Drop it, I tell you!

King.
Sheriff; what's the row?
I've half an hour to spare. Let's have it now.
Who's got a match?
Now, Sheriff, blaze away;
And cut it short; for I've not long to stay.

Sir Brian.
My liege,—these rascals—

Tuck.
Order! Put him out!

King.
Robin; who's this that kicks up such a rout?

Robin.
His name his Tuck, my liege; a jolly friar.

King.
A friar, i'faith! That suits my heart's desire!
This raving Sheriff, here, looks mighty curst;
I think we'd better hear the Friar first.
Let him go on. Give me another light.
I say, old fellow! What's your chanting weight?
Come; fire away! You'll do it; I'll be bound.

Tremuloso.
I'll chant him any day for glasses round.

King.
Now, Friar; go on.

Air—“Mouse-trap Man.”
Sir Brian.
Most gracious monarch—Three poachers you see,
Who are the same that so long baffled me;
Killed all the game that they came across,
In fact, one day they made game of my horse.

Robin.
What that chap's said is not all quite true;
Live in the forest I certainly do;
For rest of his story, I do kill the game,
Which was made, not for rich, but for poor, just the same.

Tuck.
And na', mister king, if you'll listen awhile,
Aw'll tell ye aw the facts o' this case i' my style;
Aw'm nobbut a poor simple friar, d'ye see?
But aw think aw con sattle this better nor thee—
If yon soft-headed Sheriff will step out and feight,
Aw'll match him mysel', tho' aw'm not a leet weight,
And well poise his head for a pint or a quart.
Say ay, and aw'll say thae'rt a reet down good sort.

CHORUS.
Sir Brian.
So I've brought them here for you to try;
They ought to be punished very severely;
The law is, in fact, three months by the act,
So send them, for that time, to the Old Bailey.

Robin & Tuck.
And yon false Sheriff, had best mind his eye,
Or with my fist I'll let fly.
I'll bet a penny, I'll thrash him, or any
One else that has pluck or assurance to try.

Daisy.
Housetraps, housetraps, I fear,
Is waitin' to swallow my Robin, my dear.

Marian.
Your dear he is not, you've helped in the plot
To rob me of Robin, and him of his “deer.”

Daisy.
My revenge on you hussy, will soon be assuaged.

Marian.
The she cat is not aware we are engaged.

Daisy.
For when he's in limbo the key I will mind,
And we'll fly together, my Robin so “ky-ind.”

CHORUS.
Daisy & Marian.
Housetraps, housetraps, I fear,
Is waitin' to swallow my Robin, my dear.

Marian., Daisy.
Her/Your dear he is not.

Daisy., Marian.
I've/You've helped in the plot.

Both.
To cheat me,/her,
Of Robin, of Robin, my/her dear.

Sir Brian.
So I've brought them here for you to try;
They ought to be punished very severely;
The law is, in fact, three months by the act;
So send them, for that time, to the Old Bailey.

Robin & Tuck.
And yon, false Sheriff, had best mind his eye,
Or with my fist I'll let fly.
I'll bet a penny, I'll thrash him, or any
One else that has pluck or assurance to try.

Marian.
My liege,—bold Robin and his men are keepers;
They watch the woods when knaves like this are sleepers.
For you, my lord, they keep the fallow deer;
But, they can't keep 'em from this fellow, here,—
This gabbling knave that comes now, to complain,—
The things he steals they but fetch back again:
The rascal—

Tuck.
Hang up the knave, my liege, and then, you'll find
I'd make a sheriff far more to your mind.
Or, if your majesty can't do without him,—
Just give me leave; and,—by the mass,—I'll clout him.

Sir Brian.
Clout me?

Tuck.
Ay, lad; an' soon.

King.
Hollo! What now?

Tuck.
Run for mi clogs! There's beawn to be a row!

Sir Loin.
Silence!

King.
Come, Sheriff, say your say, my man.
I want to get this bit of business done.

Sir Brian.
My gentle liege,—Your ear I humbly crave.
Pray, don't be humbugged by this prating knave.
This Friar of Fountains; he's a—

Daisy.
Lying lout!

Sir Brian.
There, now, my dear; you've gone and put me out!
But still; its true. My liege,—they steal the deer;
And keep the country-side in mortal fear.
As for this Robin,—

Marian.
Well, sir; what of him?

Daisy.
You talk to me, Miss! I'll keep you in trim!

Marian.
You saucy minx! I'll come and pull your hair!

Daisy.
Will you, indeed? Then do it,—if you dare!

King.
I can't stand this!

Tuck
(to Tremuloso).
Keep back; you flickering boor!
Hands off! You're only fifteen-spider power!

King.
Come, Tuck lad; finish off! I'm sick of this!
Wire in! I'll soon decide,—and then, dismiss.

Tuck.
My liege, I think that, now, the case is clear,
You've heard with patience this foul Sheriff, here;
And you can see how well the knavish elf
At every word he says, convicts himself.
There needs no more palaver, then, from me,
The verdicts safe with you,—your majesty.

King.
There; that'll do! The thing's quite clear to me.
And, master Sheriff,—this is my decree;—
I will not hang you now; but, mark, old boy!
On pain of my displeasure—mind your eye!
[Exit Sheriff and his party, with feelings to be imagined.
Now, hook it! Robin, lad; I've done the trick.

Robin.
You have, your majesty; you've done it slick!

[Exit King and his party.
Marian.
Robin!

Robin.
Well, chuck!

Marian.
You love me! don't you, dear?

Robin.
I do, my darling! Don't! There's people here.

Marian.
Oh, Robin, dear; you always told me so.

Robin.
And it was true, my love; right well you know.

Marian.
Then, oh,—my gallant, handsome forest lad!
Do say it once again, it makes me glad!

Duet—Composed by G. Crellin: “Come, dearest, come.”
Robin and Marian.

Re-enter Sir Brian and his Attendants.
Sir Brian.
I'll be revenged upon that precious lot!
Stay; stay; I've hit upon a cunning plot!

Tremuloso.
Hide! hide! Here's Marian coming through
the wood!

Sir Brian.
Oh, crickey! Now we have her! Come, that's good.

Marian.
There's a snug covert for the forest deer!
A pic-nic would be very jolly here!
(They seize Maid Marian.)
Help, Robin; help!

Sir Brian.
Yes, Miss; we'll help you—soon!

Robin.
Hollo! Strike lads! We'll beat time to this tune!

Grand encounter between the adherents of Robin and Sir Brian, when Robin, by the aid of the Fairy's charm, changes the scene instantly to