 | A Duke and no Duke |  |
ACT I.
Trappolin and Flametta.Trap.
For ever thine Flametta.
Fla.
Thanks my Dear.
But am not I a fond Fool to believe you,
When you have been from me these two long dayes?
I'm sensible I love you but too well,
For truly Dear you are a naughty man.
Trap.
Pretty Rogue! how she fires my heart! now could I cry
like any roasted Lobster.—What would old Lord Barberino
give for one such kind word from her. But young and poor as
she is, she is yet most Constant and Virtuous.—Not that I care
much for Virtue neither.—Alass my Dear, I have been much
opprest with Business since I saw thee. My Honour was at stake
for procuring Convenients for no less than five Ministers of
State. It'as been dead trading of late, but 'tis a comfort to see
times mend, now we are upon our Matrimony.
Fla.
Let me Conjure you leave these vitious courses,
You must indeed, or we must never marry;
But you will be my Convert and reform.
Trap.
All in good time Love; it becomes me to see my Betters
go before me, when I do mend I shall certainly do it to purpose,
leave to be honest, and I think that's fair.—
Enter Barberino and Officers.
Whose here my Rival Lord?
Barb.
Here is the Villain with his handsome Wench,
And what (afflicts me more) an honest One;
I have these many weeks attempted her,
But neither Threats nor Presents can prevail,
She must be virtuous, or her poverty
Could ne'r withstand the Offers I have made;
Yet were she virtuous she would ne'r allow
This wicked Pandar so familiar with her;
This Fidling Parasite, Buffoon, and Beggar:
But on pretence of his enormities,
I have procur'd this Order from the Duke
For his immediate banishment from Florence.
Most certainly, he bears some Spell about him,
And when he's once remov'd, I shall succeed.
Trap.
Again my Dear—My good Lord Barberino, your
Honours humble Servant.—For this free Promise, Love, I
ne'er enough can thank Thee—Your Lordships to Command
—No Fortune shall divide or change our Wills.—Your
Honours humble Slave—What's Wealth or Power where
Hearts consent like ours?—Your Lordships Vassal—
When thou dost sigh, thy Trappolin shall weep.—Your
Honour alwayes shall Command Me—And when thou
sings't—
Fla.
We are observ'd.
Learn to be honest, and I am Thine for ever.
[Exit.
Trap.
I beg your Lordships pardon. Your Lordship saw how
I was employ'd. The poor wretch has taken a Fancy to me,
and your Lordship knows I am a Person of liberal Education:
That I bear not a Breast of Flint, nor was Nurs't with the Milk
of Hircanian Bulls. Now if your Lordship has any thing to
Command me, here I stand ready, I'l fido Trappolino, your Honours
humble Servant in all things possible and impossible.
You are a sawcy peremptory Villain,
And have too long escap'd the stroak of Justice.
Off.
Nor is there such a Coward in all Tuscany,
He's able to corrupt an Army.
Trap.
Fear not that Seignior Capitano, for I never mean to
come into One.
Barb.
So lewd a Pandar ne'er infected City,
What Wife or Daughter of the Noblest Blood
Is she, where such a Hellish Factor breaths.
Trap.
And can your Lordship on your Honour tax me
For want of Diligence in my Vocation?
Barb.
Industrious hast thou been in Villany,
But Florence must no longer be the Scene;
This is your Warrant, Captain, from the Duke,
To drive this Miscreant from our City Gates.
And when he's seen again in Tuscany,
That Minute forfeits his abandon'd life.
Thus has our Duke decreed.
Trap.
At whose request?
Barb.
On mine.
Trap.
I am glad to find your Honour has so much Interest in
His Highness, and therefore make choice of your Honour as the
most proper Person to sollicit my Repeal.
Barb.
Audacious Slave.
Trap.
His Highness knows travelling is chargeable, and besides
my Stomach is of no ordinary Dimensions.
Barb.
Away with him, if he dispute your Orders
Call for the Parish Whips to your Assistance.
Trap.
Seignior Officer you may take his Lordships word when
he says a Thing. You hear his Lordship hath private business
with me, and desires your absence—For certain then His
Highness is upon Treaty of Marriage with the Millanese; your
Lordship and I, were alwayes of opinion it would come to that.
Barb.
Such harden'd Impudence was never seen.
Take him away.
Trap.
My Lord, my Lord—Such a Primrose in a Corner
for your Lordship, never blown upon my Lord;—
Barb.
Force him along.
Flametta my Lord, what says your Lordship to Flametta?
There's Eyes and Bubbies! Shall I bring her to your Lordship
—Nay my Lord, my Lord.
(They bear him off.)
[Exeunt.
Enter Duke Lavinio, Alberto, Guards, and Attendants.
Lav.
I'm stung with Adders and shall go distracted;
Let me have breathing room.
Alb.
Your Highness knows
I ever have been watchful for your Honour,
And next to that, I would preserve your quiet.
Lav.
Choice Method, first blow poyson in my Ears,
And after preach patience to me.
Alb.
I fear my Duty has been too officious;
Dread Sir, reflect where was the mighty harm
In holding talk with him by open day?
I hope this fanning will incense the flame.
[Aside.
Lav.
What harm? the very Bawd to their desires
Could never have Forehead to dispute the harm:
A Virgin and a Princess seen to walk
And hold discourse apart with one of Race
Obscure, at least unknown, and no harm in't?
'Twere lewd, though they had only pray'd together:
Bring the audacious Traytor to Our Presence.
(Brunetto brought in here.
Enter Brunetto.
Bru.
Dread Sir, and twice my Noble Conquerour,
[Kneeling.
First in the Field, in which your Self alone
Could stop my Conquest with resistless Might,
And since in Gen'rous Princely favours.
Lav.
Rise.
I am not us'd to hearken after Praise,
Or Thanks for Benefits by me conferr'd,
For hitherto they always fell on Merit,
Only in this Acknowledgment, I hear
Ingratitude from it's own mouth condemn'd:
This Lord, the watchful Argus of my Honour,
Has charg'd you with a Crime will stain the Worth
You shew'd in Battel, and make Valour blush.
Alb.
I but inform'd your Highness what I saw.
Bru.
He's prejudic'd, I kill'd his Son in fight
In Service of my Prince, as he of you.
Lav.
I have a Sister, dear to me as Fame,
Our Royal Father's only Care and Comfort,
‘My Dukedome (said he dying) I bequeath thee,
‘A slender Present and thy Due by Birth;
‘But with it all the Glory of our Race,
‘The spotless Honour of the Medices;
‘Preserve the Princely Blood from base-born taint,
‘But most secure it in the weaker part,
‘And match Prudentia with her Peer in Birth;
‘So shall I with my Ancestors have rest.
Now Sir, how far you have infring'd these Orders,
And brought a guilt unknown upon my head,
I leave your self to judge: Confess your Crime,
And Torture shall revenge it; smother it,
And Tortures shall extort it.
Bru.
My charmed Soul
Came panting to my Lips to meet your Charge,
And beg forgiveness for its high presumption.
But since you talk of Tortures, I disdain
The servile threats, and dare your utmost Rage;
I love the Princess, and have urg'd my passion,
Tho' I confess all hopeless of return.
This with a Souldiers freedom I avouch,
Who scorns to lodge that Thought he dares not own:
Now Sir, Inflict what punishment you please.
But let me warn you, that your vengeance reach
My head, or neither of us can have rest.
Chains, Straw and Darkness! this is meer distraction!
To Prison with him; you that waited on him
(They lead off Brunetto.
Be now his Guard: Thin Diet and no Light;
Such usage may restore him—Vengeance thus
Converts to Charity.
Enter Prudentia.
Prudentia,
Your entrance has prevented me a Visit
To your Apartment, and half sav'd a Chiding;
Yet I must tell you, you have been too blame,
But Sister learn reserv'dness for the future,
Such as becomes your Quality, and hold
That place which Nature and unspotted Virtue
Has hitherto secur'd you in my heart.
Pru.
Most gracious Sir, If e're my secret Soul
Admits one thought that is not first submitted
For Approbation to your Royal Will,
The Curse of Disobedience fall upon me;
As I in you have found a Fathers Love,
I shall repay't with more than Filial Duty.
Lav.
Virtue and Honour ever guide thy way.
Thou'rt solitary, but shal't quickly enjoy
A sweet Companion in our Royal Bride.
Sforza the Duke of Millain, our old Friend,
Who always in our Wars hath sent us aid,
Here offers me the beauteous Isabella
His Daughter for my Wife, and instantly
We will to Millain on the Expedition,
That Treatment once determin'd, wee'l return
To Florence, where wee'l celebrate our Nuptials
With that Magnificence becomes our State.
Pru.
Go and be happy Sir in your fair Choice.
Barb.
That Blessing's only wanting to our State.
Lav.
Lord Barberino and Alberto, you
Whom I have always found most faithful to me,
To you I do commit the Government
I leave unlimited, keep open Ear
To just Complaints: Allow and Act no wrong;
Look closely to our Prisoner Brunetto.
Alb.
So may your wish't Return be safe and speedy.
Lav.
Sister, your tears afflict us; a few Weeks
Shall grace our Court with the fair Millanese.
Lead on, 'tis time we were upon our way.
[Exeunt.
SCENE. A Desart.
Enter Trappolin.
Trap.
This banisht life is very doleful—What an inhumane
Duke was this to banish me, that never banisht
him? At every step I take, my poor Flametta comes into my
mind: She met me at the Towns end, and would fain have
come along with me, but that I told her she was not banisht,
and might not.—Methinks this is a very melancholy place!
I have not met a living Body yet, but they had wings or four
legs. Let me bethink me where to betake my self, I would to
Rome, and turn Friar, but that I have too much Learning. A
man of my Occupation might once have finger'd the Polux
Ryals in Venice, but now the Gentry go a more compendious
way to work, and Pimp for one another; 'tquite spoils all
trading.
What sound is this? Sure this place must needs be haunted:
This with a good Dinner were something, but as it is, it feels
as if they were playing upon my small Guts.
So now, my airy Fidlers are fallen out amongst themselves; I
would come and banish me from this place too.
[Storm again, Mago the Conjurer rises.]
What's here? a decrepit old man? Now and I were sure he
was of mortal Race, I would set upon him in the name of Famine
—But if he should blow Brimstone in my Face there
were a hopeful beginner baulk't.
Mag.
Son, Thou art Banish'd—I know all the matter.
Trap.
'Tis true old Friend, I am banish'd—But how the
Devil came you to know it?
Mag.
Why, the Devil told me.
Trap.
The Devil he did?—Why 'twas e'en his own
doing, and so he could give you the best account of it.
Mag.
Be not dismay'd, Preferment waits upon thee,
I am so far from hurting thee,
That from poor Trappolin, I'le make thee a Prince.
Trap.
Look you there again, he knows my Name too.—
For certain, this must be the Devils kinsman—A Prince!
poor Trappolin thanks you Father Conjurer, but has no mind to
domineer in Hell: I know where your Territories lye.
Mag.
Besotted Wretch, Thou dost not understand me;
I tell thee Son, thou shalt return to Florence—
Trap.
And be hang'd there for my labour.
Mag.
Be honour'd there, exalted o're thy Fellows.
Trap.
On a Gibbet.
Mag.
There shalt thou shine in wealth, and roul in plenty,
The Treasures of the East shall Court thy wearing;
The haughty Nobles shall seem Pigmies to thee;
All Nature shall be ransack'd for thy Board,
And Art be tir'd to find thee choice of Banquets;
Each day and hour shall yield new Scenes of pleasure,
And crowding Beauties sue for thy Embraces.
Trap.
Sure I have pimp'd for this old Fellow formerly, he's
so kind—Well, as you say, Father Conjurer (on some private
Considerations that I have) this may not do amiss: But how
shall it be done?
Mag.
By Eo, Meo, and Areo.
Trap.
What they mean, I know not, but I am satisfi'd 'tis by
going to the Devil for it, and so much for that matter.
Here, Seat thee in this Chair.
Trap.
To be shav'd Father Conjurer by one of your black
Valets? I shall lather under their hands without a Ball.
Mag.
Sit still, and see the wonders of my Art;
Eo, Meo, and Areo, rise.
Trap.
What will become of this temporal Body of mine?—
I am glu'd to my Seat here.—But hear you good Father,
must this Retinue of yours needs appear?
Mag.
Of indispensible necessity.
Trap.
Then good Father let them appear invisibly, I have no
great inclination to their Company: For to tell you the truth,
I like yours none of the best, you are like the Devil enough to
serve my turn.
Mag.
Now by the most prevailing Spell
That e're amaz'd the Powers of Hell;
That mid-night Witches ever try'd,
While Cynthia did her Crescent hide;
While watchful Dogs to bark forbore,
The Wolf to holw, the Sea to roar;
While Robbin do's his midnight Chare,
And Plowmen sweat beneath the Mare;
By all the terrours of my Skill,
Ascend, ascend, and execute my Will.
[Lightning and Thunder, Spirits rise, and sink down with Trappolin.
Now proud Lavinio, little dost thou know
This secret practise of my just Revenge.
[After a Dance the Spirits rise again, with Trappolin dressed exactly like the Duke Lavinio.
Trap.
Oh Father what metal do you take me to be made of?
I am not us'd to travel under ground: Oh for a Dram of the
Bottle of a Quart or two! Call you this preferment? Marry he
deserves it that goes to the Devil for't, but I see no preferment
neither.
Mag.
Thou dost not know thy self, look in that Mirrour.
[Shews him a Looking-glass.]
Trap.
Whose there, the Duke?—Your Highness is well
return'd: Your faithful Servant Trappolin begs of your Grace to
call him home, and hang up this old Wizard; he'l Conjure
Dominions.—What's he gone again? He's for his frisque
under ground too. I have made way for him, I have work'd
like any Mole, and made holes you may thrust Churches
through.
Mag.
'Tis thou thy self that represents the Duke;
What in that Glass thou saw'st is but thy Picture.
Trap.
If that be my Picture I am the Picture of the Duke.
Mag.
And shalt be taken for the Duke himself.
Trap.
The Dress is just like him, and for ought I know, it is
Dress that makes a Duke.—Let me see, what must I say now?
my Highness is your Highness humble Servant.—This Conjurer
is a rare Fellow.
Mag.
As thou didst here seem to thy self,
So shalt thou to the world appear, the perfect Duke:
To Florence then, and take thy State upon thee.
Trap.
Trust me for Duking of it: I long to be at it. I know
not why every man should not be Duke in his turn.—Father
Conjurer, time is precious with us great Persons: However, I
should be glad to see you at Court. It may be the better for
you, for as I take it, we shall have some change of Ministers,
and so Farewel.
Mag.
Stay Son, Take this inchanted powder with thee,
Preserve it carefully, for at thy greatest need
'Twill give thee aid: When any Foe assaults,
Cast but this Magick Powder in his face,
And thou shalt see most wonderful effects.
Trap.
Good, Now I'm satisfi'd I am the Duke
Which some shall rue: Good Father, Fare you well.
Eo, Meo, and Areo—Pass.
[Exit. Conju. vanishes.
Barberino and Flametta.
Flam.
I do beseech your Honour to repeal
My only joy, my banisht Trappolin;
Take pity on a helpless Virgins tears,
Abandon'd to Distress—You must—You will—
For as our Sov'raign left his Power with you
He left his Mercies too.
Barb.
Her tears inflame me:
And were this Dukedom which I hold in trust
My due by Birth, I'd give it in exchange
For this sweet Innocence, this Artless Beauty.
Indeed (my pretty One) you wrong your Charms;
Nay I must say, you wrong your Virtue too
By this concern, for an abandon'd Slave,
Devoted to all Crimes; forget and scorn him.
Fla.
I gave my heart before I knew his Vices,
But it will be my triumph to reclaim him,
I do beseech your Honour to call him home.
Barb.
And what Return may I expect for this?
Fla.
Goodness has always been it's own reward;
But to convince you that your Courtesie
Shall not be wholly thrown away upon me,
By Day or Night you shall command—
Barb.
What?
Fla.
My Prayers.
Barb.
A very hopeful Recompence;
What Statesman ever yet took Prayers for pay?
Deluded Maid, thou dost not know thy worth,
This Beauty must not be a Beggars Prize,
Design'd by Nature for a Nobler Sphere.
What can this Minion whose repeal you seek
To deck thy Youth, or to inrich thy Age?
Come be advis'd, here's Gold and Jewels for thee,
The Pride, the Pomp of Nature shall be thine:
Make all your study how to please your self,
Fortune shall wait to see your wish perform'd.
Fla.
Are you our Prince, my Lord?
Barb.
What means that Question?
Fla.
If you were,
The Prince should be deny'd.
Barb.
Then much more I.
Why do I trifle thus? I am no Prince,
Yet will not be deny'd;—Who waits without?
Fla.
Heaven shield me! You intend no Violence.
Barb.
What I intend is Love; if you refuse,
You make the Rape, that's all: Who waits I say?
Enter Servant.
Fla.
Help Heaven!
Serv.
My Lord, my Lord most unexpected News!
Barb.
Come near
And bear this peevish Girl to my Apartment,
Shee'l thank me for the Force.
Serv.
The Duke, my Lord, his Highness.
Barb.
Take her Slave.
Serv.
His Highness is return'd from Millain.
Barb.
Ha!
The Duke return'd from Millain? Thou art mad.
Serv.
Just now arriv'd my Lord, and coming hither.
Barb.
Here!
Dispose of her as I commanded thee,
'Till I find out the meaning of this Dream.
Ha! that's his voice—And here he comes in Person:
Let her go Slave.—Away dear Maid, away.
[Puts her out.
Barb.
Great Sir,
Upon our knees we welcome your Return,
Trap.
And upon our Legs we take it:—Hem! hem!
[He struts about.
Alb.
Your Highness comes unlook't for, we did not expect
This happy time so soon by fourteen dayes.
Barb.
So please your Grace, where is our Dutchess?
Trap.
Your Dutchess will not come 'till the Gods know
when; for my part I know nothing of the matter. I left my
Train behind me and came unlookt for, to see how you governed
in my absence, which I fear you have done scurvily
enough.
Alb.
How wild he talks!
Trap.
Eo, Meo, and Areo, well stuck to me I'faith—Well
Lords, you never pity my Misfortunes; I have been robb'd in my
journey, had my Horse taken from me, and if it had not been
for Father Conjurer.
Barb.
How Sir?
Trap.
I say, if I had not been a Conjurer, I had ne'er got home
in my Royal skin;—Well stuck there again, Boys, well stuck.
Alb.
What means your Highness?
Trap.
Our Highness means to take exact account of Affairs;
I left an honest Fellow here, call'd Trappolin. What's become of
him?
Barb.
Your Highness gave me charge to banish him.
Trap.
Why there's the Pillar of our State gone. You took
him for Buffoon, but I found him one of the best Politicians in
Christendome; other Countreys will value him, and for ought
I know, he's a Prince by this time—Eo, Meo, and Areo, true
Lads still.
Alb.
I am amaz'd!
Trap.
Hear me, you Lord Barb. I love dispatch in Affairs, tell
me therefore quickly what you take to be the duty of a Statesman?
Barb.
To study first his Royal Masters profit,
No sinister design of private gain;
Nor pillage from the Crown to raise his Heirs,
His base-born Brood in Pomp above the Race
Of old descended Worth; to know Desert,
And turn the Princes favour on his Friends;
And keep an open Ear to just Complaints.
Trap.
Why there 'tis. I have travel'd, and can tell you what
a Statesman should be. I will have him ten times prouder than
his Master; I, and ten times richer too. To know none of his
old Friends, when he is once in Office; to inform himself who
has Merit, that he may know whom to do nothing for; to make
Sollicitors wait seven years to no purpose, and to bounce thr'o
a whole Regiment of 'em, like a Souldier through the Gantlet.
Alb.
This is meer Frenzy.
Trap.
And there is another good Friend of mine, Brunetto,
where is he?
Alb.
Dread Sir, Your Highness knows that for his presumption
in Courting of your Sister, you confin'd him.
Trap.
Nothing but lying in this world! I confine him: 'Tis
well known I never had a Sister in my life.
Barb.
No Sister, Sir?
Trap.
No, Jack Sawce, none that's worth imprisoning a Friend
for; honest Brunetto I'le be with thee in the twinkling of a—
Eo, Meo, and Areo, sit fast; pass.
[Exit.
Alb.
He cannot counterfeit so much.
Barb.
I know not;
But if he do not, he is surely mad.
Alb.
The Heaven's be merciful!
What wild fantastick things he do's? And talks
Of Eo, Meo, and Areo; Names
Unheard of in the Court before.
Barb.
Some Millain Counts I warrant you.
This kindness to Brunetto is most strange.
Alb.
Let's after him, and wait his better leisure.
[Exeunt.
Re-Enter Trappolin.
Trap.
What a dismal Place is here? I'le have it carry'd
bodily out of my Dukedom. Alass poor Brunetto,
what has he done to be shut up here?—Oh here he comes!
Enter Brunetto.
Bru.
What can the Duke design by coming hither?
For certain, it must be to see me strangled:
Well let him execute his Tyrant will,
For Death it self were Mercy to this Dungeon.
Great Prince.
Trap.
He makes a very low leg, but I scorn to be out done in
Courtesie.
Bru.
What can this cruel Mockery intend?
Your Highness does forget your self extreamly:
I am your Prisoner.
Trap.
My best Friend Brunetto.
Bru.
I am astonish't! Sir, upon my knees
I do congratulate your safe Return.
Trap.
And upon my knees I do embrace thee, honest Brunetto.
Bru.
I know not what to think or speak.
I do beseech your Highness, Rise.
Trap.
Not without thee: Therefore up I say; away with
Complements, I cannot abide them.
Bru.
You honour me above expression.
Trap.
A Fig for honour, I love thee man; Sirrah Jayler,
bring Chairs hither presently.
Bru.
Your Highness—
Trap.
Away with Highness, I say, away with it; call me
Lavin, plain Medices.
Sure I am awake, this is no Dream?
Trap.
We will live merrily together, i'faith we will! Come
Sirrah what a while have you been bringing these Chairs? I
have known a Pimp made a Prince in less time. Brunetto sit thee
down, sit down I say.
Bru.
I will attend your Highness on my knees.
Trap.
Why, I am not thy Father, am I? Sit thee here.
Bru.
On the right hand—That must not be.
Trap.
Why an'thou wilt have it there, there let it be.—
But hold, I am mistaken, that is on the left hand; that must
not be: Dost thou think I have no manners in me.
[They remove their Chairs several times.]
Bru.
There is no remedy, I must obey.
Trap.
Very well,—What now art thou afraid of me?
Marry an'thou draws't back, I'le draw back too: Therefore sit
still I say, and let us talk.
Bru.
Great Sir, I am unworthy of these honours.
Your Noblest Florentines would be most proud
To be thus grac't.
Trap.
I love not these set speeches. Let us talk as if we were
in a Tavern together.—Now, I prithee Man, how cams't
thou into this damn'd Dungeon?
Bru.
I, now the storm comes.—Pardon me Dread Soveraign.
Trap.
What, on thy knees again? Dost take me for Mahomet?
As well as I can pardon thee, I do pardon thee whatever
it be, tho'thou hast kill'd every Body.
Bru.
Wherefore this Torture Sir, before my Death,
'Tis Tyranny; your Highness knows my Crime
Was in aspiring to your Royal Sister.
Trap.
Wast thou laid up for that? Alass for thee! Hast
marry'd her?
Bru.
Beseech your Grace.
Trap.
Well, An'thou hast not, I would thou hads't; get her
consent, and here I give thee mine. So come along with me to
Dinner.
Bru.
Your Highness shall command me to my Death.
Trap.
I say, Thou shalt have her, and if I had two Sisters,
Thou shoulds't have them both—Who waits there?
Now my good Lords, you see this Apartment, and you thought
fit to have Baunetto shut up here for making Love to my Sister.
Alb.
It was your Highness Judgment and Command.
Trap.
Jayler, take me these two Coxcombly Lords, and
keep them under Lock: They are never well but when they are
doing mischief. In my Conscience and Soul, here is such incumbrance
of perplexity, that I protest—Come along Friend
[Exit. with Brunetto.
Barb.
Why, This is meer Distraction.
Alb.
We must endure it.
[They go in.
| A Duke and no Duke | |