 | Psyche Debauch'd |  |
ACT II.
Scene I.
Enter Wossat and Bruine.Woss.
Son
Bruin mind your hits, I say mind your hits; this
young cold Harlottry None-so-fair, must be sous'd,
and touz'd do'e mark me; she must be tumbl'd and jumbl'd;
she must I say it, or else the Noble Science of Wenching will
grow obsolete, and all our Famous Function may starve; for
after that, who will pity poor decay'd old Gentlewomen that
carry Letters or suffer Tours, Points, Paint, or Patches,
to be brought to their Chambers? And you of the Illustrious
Society of Pimping, may hang if you have Courage enough
to deserve it; or dye in holes like poyson'd Ratts; You
will be shouted through the Street, like strange Dogs with
horns at their tails, pump'd and baited like Spirits that steal
children; every Cuckold will have a snap at your Carkasses.
Bru.
Then one comfort will be, that our miseries will be
short liv'd, for those Beasts you talk of swarm so thick, that
'twill be impossible to pass one Street without being worried
to death. Every publick Assembly looks like a Picture
of the Creation before man was made, fill'd up with variety
of Creatures, that show all Horns and Tails.
Woss.
'Tis for our honour, know that I will revive the
Sect of Adamites, renew the Family of Love, and make the
slavery of Marriage so out of fashion, that a Man and Wife
shall be show'd about, and wondred at as much as an Hermaphrodite,
an entire Egyptian Mummy, or a Cat with two
tails.
Bru.
I know Mother your Interest with the Gentry is
great, there is hardly a Noble Family, where one of your
Order, does not lye hid under the shape of a Couzen, House-keeper,
Wayting Women, Chamber-Maid, or the like.—
Woss.
That I learn't from my Brother on the other side of
the water: whose Emissaries are all disguis'd, his precepts
20 Whores then one wife to those of our order; I will bring
up here that old Scotch Custom, that every Lord of the
Manour shall have the first nights dalliance with the Bodies
of all his Vassals.
Bru.
That will assure you the hearts of all the great Ones,
and keep the others from Marriage, so your business is
done.
Woss.
But first let None-so-fair's business be done.
Bou.
I dare not; she is King Andrews best beloved daughter.
Woss.
Were she the skin between her brows, I'de not
spare her; do't or forswear thy Office.—
Bru.
That I could easily do, for 'tis not now worth keeping,
if there's any new piece worth Money, a Father, Brother,
or some Relation, Usurps our office, and reaps the profit.
Woss.
'Tis too true, and 'tis unconscionable, that Christians
should turn Canibals, and feed upon their own flesh
and blood, my case is even as bad too; I that have spent
my Youth to gain experience, must in my Age be Nos'd, and
have my Bread taken from my Teeth, by every Black brow'd
Baggage, that leaps into the publick Practice of procuring,
e'r they know the mystery of jilting; nay too often learn
both together.
Bru.
In the City they dare not use two Trades at once;
but in the Suburbs they may do any thing.—
Woss.
Your Midwife, who is related to our Craft, as a
Phisician is to a Mountebank; for we make work for them
to finish, though we Lay six to their one, suffers none to
profess their Art till they have been Deputies seven years.—
Well, things and things must be mended; but first to the
point, King Andrews three Daughters are coming to the
wishing Chair; the two elder are mad for Husbands, their
business is done to our hands.—
Bru.
Quite contrary; for if they Marry they'l renounce
you.
Woos.
No! Though ordinary people that pretend not to
the modish, Marry to live sullen, that is, chast. Others know
priviledge of keeping a Miss after Marriage, as a Woman
with a Portion does for a Joynture: Ay! and inserts it into
that Covenant.—Make us thankful, we live in a loving
Age,—but to the point—None-so-fair, by my means is
resolved to wish the White Bear of Norwich to be her Husband;
thinking, which is indeed true, that there is no such
thing, though we have frighted silly people into that belief,
to cheat them the better.
Bru.
Oh! now I find your meaning, that White Bear I
will be; and the King being possest with a Reverence to
our Juggling wishing Chair; shall himself bring her to my
Arms.—
Woss.
Very good; but least she should be stubborn, let
Jeffery be ready to assist you in your pious design.
Bru.
If we can but wheedle them into an awful faith.
Woss.
Why? should not the speech of a Chair, do as much
as Apollo's tripod, a Spirit in a Wall; or the eyes of Images
moved with Wires: let all be Grave and Solemn, for that's
the chief support of Counterfeit worship: and let your expressions
be in Greek, or any unpractis'd canting Gibberish.
Bru.
Enough, I'le warrant the bus'ness.
Woos.
This Musick tells their approach, let's dispatch and
attend them in.—
Soft Musick.
The Scene drawn, discovers the wishing Chair.
Enter a Boy in a Surplice dancing, follow'd by two women bearing a Chaffing dish between them, and smoaking Tobacco; after them comes the Chief Priest in a Fools-coat, his Train supported by two in like habit, two Priests in Surplices follow them; then come two Judges playing on Jewes-trumps followed by a Cardinal, playing on a Childs Fiddle; two in grave habits follow him playing on Childrens Pipes; then comes a Major beating a little Drum; after him the King leading None-so-fair. Prince Nick and Sweet-lips, Phillip and
Song.
And musty Virgins at their latest Pray'r.
To be freed from their troubles, come hither.
And Widows, whose fires
Of unnatr'all desires.
Have parch'd up their faces like leather.
With a delicate thing called a new wishing chair.
Which loves dear Secrets has too oft' betray'd.
To this Chair so much Vertue is given.
That when you are in
At the turning a pin,
You will think you are going to Heaven.
Before the precious time of wishing's past.
For when once the kind Engine is falling,
You must bear your pain,
Till the time come again
Though you rend the moist Clouds with your bawling.
The Priests bow, and mutter to the Chair; then turn to the People.
Here's None-so-fair her grief to disimbogue.
The Jade is skittish, full of treachery
But wilful rude, and loath to try.
Let's cheat them firmly er'they go.
Let's cheat, &c.—
Chief Priest.
—The Sacred Chair vouchsafes that all
Upon all four should to him fall.
All fall on their hands.
Chair.
Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoe, hoe, hoe:
Ch. P.
—Your offerings are accepted, stand by my Cronies,
Till we have finished all the Ceremonies.
Chair
roars.
Ha! the mystick Chair begins to frown,
All that have wealth, must lay it down.
Keep nought of Pride, or Riches near you,
Least Chair in wrath to pieces tear you.
They all lay down their Money, Swords, &c. which the Priests gather up.
1. Pr.
Thou pickst the Butchers knife out of his mouth,
Thou robst a poor old woman of her tooth.
2. Pr.
—Thou didst the monstrous Flesh-flies to destroy,
Who bred the Maggots which did Beef o're run.
Their Money, Swords, and Hats are all our own.
Song.
1. Pr.
By Germain Princess that notorious cheat.
2. Pr.
By Cressets memory we thee intreat,
Thou wouldst with noise, and show blind all their eyes.
1. Pr.
Least they our silly Opera despise,
Chorus of both.
—Least they our silly Opera despice.
Chorus.
Tom thimble has made show compleat,
Jewes-Trumps, and Cymbals sound, and let us dance,
Since Wool' is small, let cry be great.
The Invocation.
2. Pr.
—James Naylor, Pope Joan, Wat. Tyler, Mall. Cutpurs, Chocorelly.
All.
Answer.
—Help our Opera, because 'tis very silly.
2. Pr.
—Massaniello, Mosely, Jack-straw, Jantredisco, Pimponelli.
Ans.
—Help our Opera, because 'tis very silly.
2. Pr.
—Hocus-pocus, Don-Quixot, Jack Adams, Mary
Ambry, Frier Pungy.
William Lilly—
Ans.
Help our Opera, because 'tis very silly.
2. Pr.
Carpentero, Paintero, Dancero, Musickero, Songstero, Punchanelly.
Ans.
Help our Opera, because 'tis very silly.
Some shall hollow, some Dance and Sing,
Hey ding, ding, ding, hey ding, ding,
Omn'a bene—Omn'a bene.
Ding, ding, ding, with hey ding, ding ding,
With hey, &c.—
The Princess to the Chair is pleasing,
And all her troubles now are easing.
The Chief Priest turns over his head, and the other two Priests take the little Boy in the Surplice, and whip him while they Sing this.
He took him by the Lilly Frock,
And scourged him full sore;
A long half hour by the Clock,
Alack a day therefore,
While Youth doth last, the changes Ring,
With a ding dong, ding dong ding,
When Youth is flown, and Age is come,
The Clappers down, the Bell doth groan:
And call you to a sad long home,
With a heavy, heavy, heavy boam, boam.
The Chief Priest rises and waves his Wand thrice.
Ch. Pr.
Comorah whee, Comorah whee, Comorah whee.
All
answer bowing.
Shoolimocroh, Shoolimocroh, Shoolimocroh.
Ch. Pr.
—Kiss Betty.
All
answ. bowing.
—Polly kagathoy.—
Ch. Pr.
Behold the Chair.—
[All rise up hastily and bow.
Ch. Pr.
Now None-so-fair, has had her wish,
And first you shall hear what it is;
And after we will sacrifice a—Fish.
K. And.
Oh Sir! we humbly do beseech
To know who shall her Husband be,
For that our very Ears do itch;
And if you please we fain would see.
It Thunders and Lightens extreamly, and then the Chair delivers this Oracle.—
Lead None-so-fair to yonder Wood,
Where Lovers howle like Beasts for Food,
There she must sigh, and weep a good.
And so you there must leave her,
For the White Bear of Norwich must have her.
To her he will be very Civil,
Be gone, 'tis vain to huff or snivil.
K. And.
O fie, O fie, O laud, O me forlorn,
Would I had dy'd e'r I was born;
I have spent my Youth fair,
To get a wife for a Bear.
Woud.
Lippy, I could leap out of my skin for joy Mother
Woossat, a brave Beldam! she has keep'd her word.
Sweet.
Nothing vexes me, but that I must be Aunt to her
litter of Cubs.—We shall have roaring Nephews.—
K. And.
Troop, troop, if I keep in this dreadful mind,
I will come back, but I'le leave my life behind.
Nick.
Hold, hold, King Andrew stay, be wise I say,
And don't the Gods obey;
If 'twere good that None-so-fair were given to the Bear,
You should hear'd on't before y' had known't.
But if 'tis bad, then 'tis not good, we know what's
what.
Yet None-so-fair, poor Sheep must go to pot.
Gods, you wou'd be veaz'd, wo'r you z'ard in your kind,
Vor y'are never half an hour in a mind.
Nick.
King be not cheated nor cullied King; I'le be hang'd
if there is not a live thing in the wishing Chair, didn't you
see how None-so-fair was tickl'd, did not she spin like a
Top, and stand upon her head like a Juggler; 'tis a damn'd
Son of a Whore Chair, and he lyes, and I am not satisfi'd.—
Pr.
Oh Sir, take heed for Crimes like this,
The Sacred Chair has Rods in piss.
K. And.
When wishing Chair his Silence broak,
I do believe Tom-tumbler spoak.
Pr.
The wonders of our wishing Chair, prov'd by Miracle,
and that shews the truth of the power of the wonder.
Nick.
The Power is governed by the Order, which commands
the Power and the Order, Rules the Beauty which
governs the Order, which is found ty'd fast to the end of
the Creation, in a long round Chain; and things, and things
loose fast upon one another, I don't know howish, like
bunches of Paper at a Kites tail, and so by a plain orderly
method of Power and Order, and Order, without Power,
and Power without Order; and no Power, and no Order,
and no Order, but a kind of Dis-orderly Powerful Order.
As men in Ropes ty'd loose, tugg Western Barge.
Ch. Pr.
You and your Nature are meer Ignorance,
But we appear to wise foreseeing chance.
Nick.
If Nature is less then Miracle, when Heaven uses
Supernatural Miracle; the Gods declare their Power less,
bycause Miracle is greater then Nature;—But if the Gods
make children, when Natures Instrument is out of tune:
They use no Nature, because Nature without Nature; is
not Nature, but Miracle Unnatural, miraculous Nature.
Phil.
There's your Anchovies; Priest—'twas woundy
well spoak, and zooe if this be granted; The Gods can, but
they wo'nt, and they cannot, and they cannot, any they
wo'nt, and zo.
They'l ne'r be mad, because they'r not long in a mind,
Az a deaf Hostess can't zee, because she's blind.
Ch. Pr.
Avaunt you scoffing Blades, avaunt,
The Thundring Gods begin to Rant.
It Thunders, and Lightens, the Chair sinks, and the Priests, and all their Attendants run off the Stage.
Phil.
What dost think, we be wild Irish; and will run
away,
Odzbboars dost think chill, lose my Coin, and my Parcel?
Non.
The Gods and wishing Chair, we must obey,
And I will go, because I cannot stay.
K. And.
—Come my sweet Pigs-nie let's make hast,
If Bear eats thee for his breakfast:
As I'am a sinner. He shall have me for a dinner.
Nick.
Thus great—was betray'd,
And Psyche taken from her Dad,
Though Princess huff'd, and swore like mad.
Exeunt all but Phillip.
Phil.
—All gwon, zure 'tis a Bawdy-house,
Vor there cham twoald they use you thus,
Be vengeance cranck, till you are snoring drunk,
And then away shirks Money, Cloaths, and Punck.
The Gods may well rain Golden showr's,
Into the Laps of Paramours:
Credit is theirs, but cost is ours;
Ch'ave not one penny left my drouth to quench,
If this be Religion; give me a Wench. Ther's your Anchovles.
Exit Phillip.
Scene III.
A Wilderness.Enter King Andrew, Sweet-lips, Woudha. and None-so-fair.
Non.
O Royal Dad, see, how he blubbers,
Kings should not whine so like great lubbers.
K. A.
O slip! O Daughter mine! where art thou gadding?
I ne'r shall hear thee more sing with a fadding.
Oh! that could grave thee hadst thou put in,
Before by me thou wer't begotten:
Why should the Gods be so barbraous?
Oh! that t'hadst dy'd in Natures Ware-house,
Then Death that cunning old Shop-lifter,
From stall of eyes had never snift her.
Non.
—Your sniv'ling melts me, so that I
shall be quite dead before I dye.
K. And.
Oh ye Gods!
I've many a day paid Scot, and lot,
And well I'm serv'd, now am I not.
Nons.
—Oh! Sir begone, begone, I say,
For if you tarry here,
My life it will soon sneak away:
And cheat the Gods, and eke the bear,
Sisters two I leave you here,
To keep you clean and sweet.
Be good unto my Daddy dear,
For so 'tis very meet.
Each week let him have shirt full clean,
Let head be comb'd, and wash'd his face,
Let holes be mended in hosen,
Himself can't do't, you see alass.
Sir, On my knees I you beseech,
To leave me now alone.
For why my Elbows both do itch,
Till you are fled, and gone.
For if the Bear should come, have at all.
Bw'y Daddy for ever and a day.
K. And.
—Mine own dear Hussey do not so say,
Bespeak a place for me below there:
For I'le come down some time or other,
And do'e hear, remember me to your Mother.
Exeunt all but None-so-fair.
Noneso.
For all so well I hid my fears,
Deaths Calumny my face besmears,
Laud what a quiddie am I in i'fack; i'fack,
You may wring the shift upon my back:
If 'twere but Flesh and Blood I would not fear,
But to be touz'd by nought, but clawes and hair,
Hair, stiffer then, an old man Beard,
Would make the stoutest Vizard here afeard.
Why should I speak so; the Chair told me, the Bear would
be hind to me; I'le shut my eyes, and think; 'tis some
Gallant in Masquerade with Fur'd-Coat on, but then he can't
cry like a discreet soft Courtier, do'e know me now? no
He'l roar boh, ho, ho, and fall oh like a Drunken Soldier at
the Sack of a City.
Enter Phillip and Nicklas.
Phil.
O hoe! here she is—pluck up Heart, O Grace!
here take my muckinder, and dry thy ey'n, cham the Blood,
O'the Phillips! ne'r a Dog in the Village can zay, blacks
mine eye; but in the way of love and honesty, and av'ore
the Bear shall eat one bit o've thee.
Don't windle zoo, but leave thy doleful dumps.
Nick.
—Let Guts and Garbage feed white Bears,
Poor strolling Cracks and Wastcoteers:
Not Gods, but cheating Crew of juggling Chair,
Are mad to make a Meal on Royal Gueer.
Non.
I will not hear the Sacred Chair abused.
—Poor harmless Rogue! how sadly he's misused?
Great Princess, since grim Frucus coming,
No longer here, let's stay Caps thrumming.
Come jog along with us good Fellows,
We will regale you at next Ale-house.
And of one kiss of Bona Robas.
Bears, Gods, nor Divels, shall not bob us.
Non.
No more great Sirs was't Court-ship here,
You take the wrong sow by the ear,
For by Lord Harry I'el ne'r marry,
And when I do, it shan't be you,
Therefore go too.
A Roaring within as of a Boar.
Phil.
Odz-boars Prince Nick
Ston.
Vast, here's the Anchovies.
Nick.
Bear up, Phillip, bear up.
Phil.
Ay, ay, but don't hunch me zoo, chill warn't vor one.
A Roaring again, the Bear enters, seizes the Princess, and sincks with her, while Jeffry with a switch beats of the Princes.
| Psyche Debauch'd | |