University of Virginia Library

Scen. I.

After a Warlike sound of Drummes and Trumpets within; Enter Callias, Neander, Artops.
Call.
Here's a sweet change of Times; I, who had wont
To have my boy sing me asleep between
My Mistresse Armes, and charme mee every Night
Ino a soft Elysium with his voyce.
Have beene this weeke kept waking with this Musick:
If this hold foure dayes more, I shall be fit,
Like Blackbirds, to be whistled to, and taught,
Out of meere tamenesse, to learne Tunes.

Neand:
I doe
Observe a certaine kind of Copulation
Twixt sound and sound. This noyse hath sexes in it.
The Drummers, and the Trumpetters, and Fifes,
Make the Male noyse o'th Streets; The Womens cries,
Loud shriekes, & howlings, make the Female. Between them
A strange, ambiguous, confus'd roare's begot,
Much like the fall of Nilus, where the waters
Make All that dwell neare deafe.

Art.
My lodging stands
I'th' Middle Region, Gentlemen; I lye
Every Night in a Storme, and every Morning
Do rise in perfect Thunder; Then my sleeps
Are but my dayes feares; which do walke; and then
Present themselves in Visions. Two Armies usually
Joyne Battle in my Dreames; where I behold
Thine, His, My Braines knockt out. And when I wake,
Wonder to find my selfe with all my Limbs;
Feele for my other Legge; suspect my eyes
When they informe me I have both my Armes.

Neand:
I've slept but twice e're since the newes came that
Eurymedon was landed; And then I had
The strangest Dreames too. My Man found mee scaling
My Curtaines for a Fort; Killing my Pillow;
And entring Duel with my Breeches. Last night
Me thought wee Three (pray Heaven avert the Omen)
Were shut up here ith' City, and besieg'd
By th'Hangings of my Chamber.

Call:
How?

Neand:
Me thought
The Trojan faces were all turn'd to Thracians.
And in this Siege, I dream't, that You, and Hee,
Forc'd by the Famine, were resolv'd to be
My Cannibals and eat mee.

Art:
I doe feele
One of my Surloynes going.

Call:
Well, what followed?

Neand:
At last you cast Dice on my Body, which
Part should be eaten first; And after all
Concluded on my Head, and Purtenance.

Call:
These are the fruites of Theevery; Thus 'tis Gentlemen,
When Kings can't Love the common way, but must
Needs couple without Friends consent, and draw
A Hue and Crye of fourty thousand after 'em.

Neand:
True, Callias; I doe maintaine, that Armies
Plundering of Townes, and ravishing of Virgins,
As naturally follow a good Face
Stolne, as this was, as Aches doe your Wenching.
Or as your Taylor, Artops, followes you
With an old Bill unclear'd.

Art:
There surely is
An unknowne pleasure in all Matrimony
Which carries danger with it. Else, why should Men
So itch to steale their Wives? Our Neighbour Troy
Is, Gentlemen, a sad example. If
This prove a Smocke-Warre of some ten yeares long;
Or if Roxane be the Comet, and
The burning of Bithynia the bright blaze
Which shee drawes after her, wee cannot helpe it.
How stand you two affected to the Warre?

Call:
Troth, I should like the Campe well, if the Fields
Did bring forth Featherbeds. Or if the Streames,
Like those oth' Golden age, did run pure Wine.
Or if Court Meales would every twelve, and seven,
Observe due howres. But, Gentlemen, to lye
Halfe starv'd, with cold, ith' Aire on scarce fresh Greensword;
Just so match earth to earth; And then to live
The Life of Nature; or, as some doe call it,
The life oth' Hardy; Quench my thirst at the
Next Spring, or Fountaine; Coffin up my selfe
Each night in Turfe; and thence come forth like one
Of Cadmus Souldiers, sowne of Serpents Teeth,
And start forth armed from a furrow, is
A course, I feare, I shall leave to the valiant.

Nean:
And then the dangers.

Art:
True.

Nean:
Here comes a troope on,
And you in honour can't but loose an eye.
An Engine there goes off, and you will show
Your selfe a Coward unlesse you loose an Arme.
Here y'are surrounded, and then 'twere base to bring
More then one shoulder off. Gentlemen, Consider
What a Discredit 'tis to have a Nose
After a Battle; Or to walke the Streets
On your owne legs.

Art:
I feele my selfe, already,
Partly compos'd of Flesh, partly of Wood.
Methinkes I swing betweene two Crutches, like
One hang'd in Chaines, and tost by th'Winde; I looke
Within this weeke, to bee but halfe the Thing
You see me Now; The rest lopt off; And I
Slic'd into Reputation.

Call:
I doe perceive
Your discreet Disaffection to the Warre.

Neand:
'Tis but a wise care of our safety; Nature
Bids us preserve our selves.

Art:
But how, Neander,
How, without losse of fame, can we avoid
To accompany the King?

Neand:
Why, breifly thus.
The King intends to send the Princesses
Over to the Island as the safer place.
And will assigne a thousand for their Guard.
Let's get our selves enroll'd ith' Number; so,
Besides security, wee shall enjoy
The Company o'th Ladies.

Art:
Right; And in
The absence of their Lords.

Call:
Peace, here they come.