 | The English Traveller |  |
Actus primus.
Scena prima.
Enter young Geraldine and master Dalauill.Dal.
Oh friend, that I to mine owne Notion
Had ioyned but your experience; I haue the
Theoricke, But you the Practicke.
Y. Ger.
I perhaps, haue seene what you
haue onely read of.
Dal.
There's your happinesse.
A Scholler in his study knowes the starres,
Their motion and their influence, which are fixt,
And which are wandering, can decipher Seas,
And giue each seuerall Land his proper bounds;
But set him to the Compasse, hee's to seeke,
When a plaine Pilot can, direct his course
From hence vnto both th'Indies; can bring backe
His ship and charge, with profits quintuple.
I haue read Ierusalem, and studied Rome,
Can tell in what degree each City stands,
Describe the distance of this place from that,
All this the Scale in euery Map can teach,
Nay, for a neede could punctually recite
The Monuments in either; but what I
Haue by relation onely, knowledge by trauell
Which still makes vp a compleat Gentleman,
Prooues eminent in you.
I must confesse,
I haue seene Ierusalem and Rome, haue brought
Marke from th'one, from th'other Testimony,
Know Spaine, and France, and from their ayres haue suckt
A breath of euery language: but no more
Of this discourse since wee draw neere the place
Of them we goe to visit.
Enter Clowne.
Clo.
Noble master Geraldine, worshipfull master Dalauill.
Dal.
I see thou still remember'st vs.
Clo.
Remember you, I haue had so many memorandomes from
the multiplicities of your bounties, that not to remember you were to
forget my selfe, you are both most ingeniously and nobly welcome.
Y. Ger.
And why ingeniously and nobly?
Clo.
Because had I giuen your welcomes other attributes then I
haue done, the one being a Souldier, and the other seeming a Scholler,
I should haue lied in the first, and shewed my selfe a kind of blockhead
in the last.
Y. Ger.
I see your wit is nimble as your tongue,
But how doth all at home?
Clo.
Small doings at home sir, in regard that the age of my Master
corresponds not with the youth of my Mistris, and you know cold
Ianuary and lusty May seldome meet in coniunction.
Dal.
I doe not thinke but this fellow in time may for his wit and
vnderstanding make Almanackes?
Clo.
Not so sir, you being more iudicious then I, ile giue you the
preeminence in that, because I see by proofe you haue such iudgement
in times and seasons.
Dal.
And why in times and seasons?
Clo.
Because you haue so seasonably made choise, to come so iust at
dinner time; you are welcome Gentlemen, ile goe tell my Master of
your comming.
Dal.
A pleasant knaue.
Y. Ger.
This fellow I perceiue
Is well acquainted with his Masters mind,
Oh tis a good old man.
Dal.
And shee a Lady
For Beauty and for Vertue vnparraleld,
Nor can you name that thing to grace a woman
Shee has not in a full perfection,
Though in their yeeres might seeme disparity
Imagine but his age and gouernement,
Withall, her modesty, and chaste respect;
Betwixt them, there 's so sweet a simpathie,
As crownes a noble marriage.
Y. Ger.
Tis acknowledged,
But to the worthy gentleman himselfe,
I am so bound in many courtesies,
That not the least, by all th'expression
My Labour, or my Industry can shew,
I will know how to cancell.
Dal.
Oh you are modest.
Y. Ger.
Hee studies to engrosse mee to himselfe,
And is so wedded to my company,
Hee makes mee stranger to my Fathers house,
Although so neere a neighbour.
Dal.
This approues you,
To be most nobly propertied, that from one
So exquisite in Iudgement, can Attract
So affectionate an eye.
Y. Ger.
Your Carracter,
I must bestow on his vnmerrited loue,
As one that know I haue it, and yet ignorant
Which way I should deserue it: Heere both come.
Enter old Mr. Wincott, Wife, Prudentilla the sister, and the Clowne.
Winc.
Gentlemen, welcome, but what neede I vse
A word so common, vnto such to whom
My house was neuer priuate; I expect
You should not looke for such a needles phrase,
Especially you Master Geraldine,
Your Father is my neighbour, and I know you,
Euen from the Cradle, then I loued your Infancy,
And since your riper growth better'd by trauell;
My wife and you, in youth were play-fellowes,
And nor now be strangers; as I take it,
Not aboue two yeeres different in your Age.
Wife.
So much hee hath out stript mee.
Winc.
I would haue you
Thinke this your home, free as your Fathers house,
And to command it, as the Master on 't;
As in your owne possessions, when I see't,
Ile say you loue me truely, not till then;
Oh what a happinesse your Father hath,
Farre aboue mee, one to inherit after him,
Where I (Heauen knowes) am childlesse.
Y. Ger.
That defect
Heauen hath supplied in this your vertuous Wife,
Both faire, and full of all accomplishments,
My Father is a Widower, and heerein
Your happinesse transcends him.
Wife.
Oh Master Geraldine,
Flattery in Men 's an adiunct of their sex,
This Countrie breeds it, and for that, so farre
You needed not to haue trauell'd.
Y. Ger.
Trueth 's a word,
That should in euery language relish well,
Nor haue I that exceeded.
Wife.
Sir, my Husband
Hath tooke much pleasure in your strange discourse
About Ierusalem and the Holy Land;
How the new Citie differs from the old,
What ruines of the Temple yet remayne,
And whether Sion, and those hills about,
With these Adiacent Townes and Villages,
Keepe that proportioned distance as wee read:
And then in Rome, of that great Piramis
Reared in the Front, on foure Lyons Mounted,
How many of those Idoll Temples stand,
First dedicated to their Heathen gods,
Which ruined, which to better vse repayred,
Of their Panthæon, and their Capitoll,
What Structures are demolish't, what remaine.
Winc.
And what more pleasure to an old mans eare,
That neuer drew, saue his owne Countries aire,
Then heare such things related. I doe exceed him
In yeeres, I must confesse, Yet he much older
Then I in his experience.
Prud.
Master Geraldine,
May I bee bould to aske you but one question,
Y. Ger.
Any thing, that lies within my knowledge.
Winc.
Put him too't,
Doe Sister, you shall finde him (make no doubt)
Most pregnant in his answere.
Prud.
In your trauells
Through France, through Sauoye, and through Italy,
Spaine, and the Empire, Greece and Palestine,
Which breedes the choycest beauties.
Y. Ger.
Introath Lady,
I neuer cast on any in those parts
A curious eye of censure, since my Trauell
Was onely aymed at Language, and to know;
These past me but as common obiects did,
Seene, but not much regarded.
Prud.
Oh you striue
To expresse a most vnheard of modestie,
And seldome found in any Traueller,
Especially of our Countrey, thereby seeking
To make your selfe peculiar.
Y. Ger.
I should be loath
Professe in outward shew to be one Man,
And prooue my selfe another.
Prud.
One thing more,
Were you to marry, You that know these clymes,
Their states and their conditions, out of which
Of all these countries would you chuse your wife.
Y. Ger.
Ile answere you in briefe, (as I obserue)
Each seuerall clime for obiect, fare, or vse,
Affords within it selfe, for all of these
What is most pleasing to the man there borne;
Spaine, that yeelds scant of food, affords the Nation
A parsimonious stomach, where our appetites
Are not content but with the large excesse
Of a full table; where the pleasing'st fruits
Are found most frequent, there they best content;
Where plenty flowes, it askes abundant Feasts;
For so hath prouident Nature dealt with all;
So in the choyce of Women, the Greeke wantons
Compel'd beneath the Turkish slauery,
Please the voluptious, that delight in change;
The French is of one humor, Spaine another,
The hot Italian hee 's a straine from both,
All pleased with their owne nations euen the Moore,
Hee thinks the blackest the most beautifull;
And Lady, since you so farre taxe my choyce,
Ile thus resolue you; Being an English man,
Mong'st all these Nations I haue seene or tri'd,
To please me best, heere would I chuse my bride.
Pru.
And happy were that Lady, in my thoughts,
Whom you would deine that grace too.
Wife.
How now Sister,
This is a fashion that 's but late come vp,
For maids to court their husbands.
Winc.
I would wife
It were no worse, vpon condition,
They had my helping hand and purse to boote,
With both in ample measure; oh this Gentleman,
I loue, nay almost doate on.
Wife.
Ya'ue my leaue,
To giue it full expression.
Winc.
In these armes then,
Oh had my youth bin blest with such a sonne,
To haue made my estate to my name hereditary,
I should haue gone contented to my graue,
As to my bed; to death, as to my sleepe;
But Heauen hath will in all things, once more welcome,
And you sir, for your friends sake.
Dal.
Would I had in mee,
That which he hath, to haue clam'd, it for mine owne,
How euer, I much thanke you.
Enter Clowne.
Winc.
Now sir, the newes with you.
Clo.
Dancing newes sir,
For the meat stands piping hot vpon the dresser,
The kitchin 's in a heat, and the Cooke hath so bestir'd himselfe,
That hee 's in a sweat. The Iacke plaies Musicke, and the Spits
Turne round too 't.
Winc.
This fellowes my best clocke,
Hee still strikes trew to dinner.
And to supper too sir, I know not how the day goes with you,
but my stomacke hath strucke twelue, I can assure you that.
Winc.
You take vs vnprouided Gentlemen,
Yet something you shall finde and wee would rather
Giue you the entertaine of houshold guests,
Then complement of strangers, I pray enter.
Exeunt. Manet Clo.
Clo.
Ile stand too 't, that in good hospitality, there can be nothing
found that 's ill, he that 's a good house-keeper, keepes a good table,
a good table, is neuer without good stooles, good stooles, seldome
without good guests, good guests, neuer without good cheere, good
cheere, cannot bee without good stomackes, good stomackes, without
good digestion, good digestion, keepes men in good health, and therefore
all good people, that beare good minds, as you loue goodnesse, be
sure to keepe good meat and drinke in your houses, and so you shall
be called good men, and nothing can come on 't but good, I warrant
you.
Exit.
Scena Secundus.
Enter two seruing-men Reignald and Robin.Reig.
Away you Corridon.
Rob.
Shall I bee beate out of my Masters house thus?
Reig.
Thy Master, wee are Lords amongst our selues,
And heere we Liue and Reigne, Two yeeres already
Are past of our great Empire, and wee now
Write, Anno Tertio.
Rob.
But the old man liues,
That shortly will depose you.
Reig.
Ith' meane time,
I, as the mighty Lord and Seneshcall
Of this great house and castle, banish thee,
The very smell ath' kitchin, bee it death,
To appeare before the dresser,
Rob.
And why so?
Reig.
Because thou stink'st of garlike, is that breath
Agreeing with our Pallace, where each Roome,
Smells with Muske, Ciuit, and rich Amber-greece,
Alloes, Cassia, Aromaticke-gummes,
Perfumes, and Pouders, one whose very garments
Scent of the fowlds and stables, oh fie, fie,
What a base nastie rogue tis.
Rob.
Yet your fellow.
Then let vs put a Cart-Horse in rich trappings.
And bring him to the Tilt-yard.
Rob.
Prancke it, doe,
Waste, Ryot, and Consume, Mispend your Howres
In drunken Surfets, lose your dayes in sleepe,
And burne the nights in Reuells, Drinke and Drab,
Keepe Christmasse all yeere long, and blot leane Lent
Out of the Calender; all that masse of wealth
Got by my Masters sweat and thrifty care,
Hauocke in prodigall vses; Make all flie,
Powr't downe your oylie throats, or send it smoaking
Out at the tops of chimnies: At his departure,
Was it the old mans charge to haue his windowes
Glister all night with Starres? his modest House
Turn'd to a common Stewes? his Beds to pallats
Of Lusts and Prostitutions? his Buttrey hatch
Now made more common then a Tauernes barre,
His Stooles that welcom'd none but ciuill guests,
Now onely free for Pandars, Whores and Bawdes,
Strumpets, and such.
Reig.
I suffer thee too long,
What is to me thy countrey, or to thee
The pleasure of our Citie? thou hast Cowes,
Cattell, and Beeues to feed, Oues and Boues,
These that I keepe, and in this pasture graze,
Are dainty Damosellaes, bonny Girles;
If thou be'st borne to Hedge, Ditch, Thrash and Plough
And I to Reuell, Banquet and Carrowse;
Thou Pessant, to the Spade and Pickaxe, I
The Battoone and Steeletto thinke it onely
Thy ill, my good, our seuerall lots are cast,
And both must be contented.
Rob.
But when both our seruices are questioned.
Reig.
Looke thou to one,
My answere is prouided.
Enter Y. Lionell.
Rob.
Farewell Musk-Cat.
Exit.
Reig.
Adue good Cheefe and Oynons, stuffe thy guts
With Specke and Barley-pudding for disgestion,
Drinke Whig and sowre Milke, whilest I rince my Throat,
With Burdeaux and Canarie.
Y. Lio.
What was hee?
A Spie Sir,
One of their Hindes oth' countrey, that came prying
To see what dainty fare our kitchin yeelds,
What Guests we harbour, and what rule we keepe,
And threats to tell the old man when he comes;
I thinke I sent him packing.
Y. Lio.
It was well done.
Reig.
A whoreson-Iack-an-apes, a base Baboone,
To insinuate in our secrets.
Y. Lio.
Let such keepe, the Countrey where their charge is.
Reig.
So I said Sir.
Y. Lio.
And visit vs when we command them thence,
Not search into our counsels.
Reig.
'Twere not fit.
Y. Lio.
Who in my fathers absence should command,
Saue I his only sonne?
Reig.
It is but iustice.
Y. Lio.
For am not I now Lord?
Reig.
Dominus fac totum.
And am not I your Steward?
Y. Lio.
Well remembred,
This night I haue a purpose to bee Merry,
Iouiall and Frollicke, how doth our cash hold out?
Reig.
The bag 's still heauy.
Y. Lio.
Then my heart 's still light.
Reig.
I can assure you, yet tis pritty deepe,
Tho scarce a mile to th'bottome.
Y. Lio.
Let mee haue
to Supper, Let mee see, a Ducke—
Reig.
Sweet Rogue.
Y. Lio.
A Capon—
Reig.
Geld the Rascall.
Y. Lio.
Then a Turkey—
Reig.
Now spit him for an Infidell.
Y. Lio.
Greene Plouer, Snite,
Partridge, Larke, Cocke, and Phessant.
Reig.
Nere a Widgin?
Y. Lio.
Yes, wait thy selfe at Table.
Reig.
Where I hope your selfe will not be absent.
Y. Lio.
Nor my friends.
Weele haue them then in plenty.
Y. Lio.
Cauiare, Sturgeon, Anchoues, pickle Oysters: Yes,
And a Potato Pie; besides all these,
What thou think'st rare and costly.
Reig.
Sir, I know
What 's to be done; the stocke that must be spent,
Is in my hands, and what I haue to doe,
I will doe suddenly.
Y. Lio.
No Butchers meat,
Of that, beware in any case.
Reig.
I still remember,
Your father was no Grasier, if he were,
This were a way to eate vp all his Fields,
Hedges and all.
Y. Lio.
You will be gone sir.
Reig.
Yes, and you are ith' way going.
Exit.
Y. Lio.
To what may young men best compare themselues?
Better to what, then to a house new built?
The Fabricke strong, the Chambers well contriu'd,
Polisht within, without, well beautifi'd;
When all that gaze vpon the Edifice,
Doe not alone commend the workemans craft,
But either make it their faire president
By which to build another, or at least,
Wish there to inhabite: Being set to sale,
In comes a slothfull Tenant, with a Family
As lasie and debosht; Rough tempests rise,
Vntile the roofe, which by their idlenesse,
Left vnrepaired, the stormy showres beat in,
Rot the maine Postes and Rafters, spoile the Roomes,
Deface the Seelings, and in little space,
Bring it to vtter Ruine, yet the fault,
Not in the Architector that first reared it,
But him that should repaire it: So it fares
With vs yong men; Wee are those houses made,
Our Parents raise these Structures, the foundation
Laid in our Infancy; and as wee grow
In yeeres, they striue to build vs by degrees,
Story on story higher; vp at height,
They couer vs with Councell, to defend vs
From stormes without: they polish vs within,
All that is nought and vicious, they sweepe from vs,
Like Dust and Cobwebs, and our Roomes concealed,
Hang with the costliest hangings; Bout the Walls,
Emblems and beautious Symbols pictured round;
But when that lasie Tenant, Loue, steps in,
And in his Traine, brings Sloth and Negligence,
Lust, Disobedience, and profuse Excesse;
The Thrift with which our fathers tiled our Roofes,
Submits to euery storme and Winters blast,
Enter Blanda a Whore, and Scapha a Bawde.
And yeelding place to euery riotous sinne,
Giues way without, to ruine what's within:
Such is the state I stand in.
Blan.
And how doth this Tire become me?
Sca.
Rather aske, how your sweet carriage,
And Court behauiour, doth best grace you, for Louers regard,
Not so much the outward habit, as that which the garment couers.
Y. Lio.
Oh heer 's that Haile, Shower, Tempest, Storme, and Gust,
That shatter'd hath this building; Let in Lust,
Intemperance appetite to Vice; withall,
Neglect of euery Goodnesse; Thus I see,
How I am sincking in mine owne disease,
Yet can I not abide it.
Bla.
And how this Gowne? I prethee view mee well,
And speake with thy best Iudgement.
Sca.
What doe you talke of Gownes, and Ornaments;
That haue a Beautie, pretious in it selfe,
And becomes any thing.
Y. Lio.
Let me not liue, but she speaks nought but truth,
And ile for that reward her.
Bla.
All 's one to mee, become they mee, or not,
Or bee I faire, or fowle, in others eyes,
So I appeare so to my Lionell,
Hee is the glasse, in whom I iudge my face,
By whom in order, I will dresse these curles,
And place these Iewels, onely to please him,
Why do'st smile.
Sca.
To heere a Woman, that thinks her selfe so wise, speake so
foolishlie, that knowes well, and does ill.
Teach me wherein I erre.
Sca.
Ile tell thee Daughter; In that thou knowest thy selfe to bee
beloued of so many, and setlest thy affection, only vpon one; Doth the
Mill grinde onely, when the Wind sits in one corner? Or Shipps onely
Saile, when it 's in this, or that quarter? Is hee a cunning Fencer, that
lies but at one Guard? Or he a Skilfull Musician, that plaies but on
one String? Is there but one way to the Wood? And but one Bucket
that belongs to the Well? To affect one, and despise all other, becomes
the precise Matron, not the Prostitute; the loyall Wife, not the loose
Wanton: Such haue I beene, as you are now, and should learne, to
Saile with all Windes, defend all Blowes, make Musicke with all
Strings, know all the wayes, to the Wood, and like a good trauelling
Hackney, learne to drinke of all Waters.
Y. Lio.
May I miscarry in my Blandaes loue;
If I that old damnation, doe not send
To Hell, before her time.
Bla.
I would not haue you Mother, teach me ought,
That tends to iniure him.
Sca.
Well looke too 't when 'tis too late, and then repent at leasure,
as I haue done; Thou see'st, heeres nothing but Prodigallity and Pride,
Wantoning, and Wasting, Rioting, and Reuelling, Spoyling, and
Spending, Gluttony, and Gormondising, all goes to Hauocke, and
can this hold out? When he hath nothing left, to helpe himselfe, how
can he Harbour thee? Looke at length, to Drinke from a dry Bottle,
and feed from an emptie Knap-sacke, looke too 't, 'twill come to that.
Y. Lio.
My parsemony shall begin in thee,
And instantly, for from this houre, I vow,
That thou no more shalt Drinke vpon my cost,
Nor taste the smallest Fragment from my Board;
Ile see thee starue ith' street first.
Sca.
Liue to one man? a ieast, thou may'st aswell, tie thy selfe to one
Gowne; and what Foole, but will change with the Fashion, Yes, doe,
Confine thy selfe to one Garment, and vse no Varietie, and see how
soone it will Rot, and turne to Raggs.
Y. Lio.
Those Raggs, be thy Reward; Oh my sweet Blanda,
Onely for Thee, I wish my Father dead,
And neere to Rouse vs from our Sweet delight;
But for this Hag, this Beldam, shee whose backe,
Hath made her Items, in my Mercers Bookes,
Whose rauenous Guts, I haue Stuft with Delicates,
I haue Warmed with Aquauitæ; Be this day
My last of Bounty, to a Wretch Ingrate,
But vnto Thee, a new Indenture Sealed,
Of an affection fixt, and Permanent,
Ile loue thee still, bee 't but to giue the lye,
To this old Cancker'd Worme.
Bla.
Nay, be not angrie.
Y. Lio.
With thee, my Soule shall euer be at peace,
But with this loue seducer, still at Warre.
Enter Rioter and two Gallants.
Sca.
Heere me but speake.
Y. Lio.
Ope but thy lips againe, it makes a way,
To haue thy Tongue pluck'd out.
Rio.
What all in Tempest?
Y. Lio.
Yes, and the Storme, raised by that Witches Spells.
Oh 'tis a Damn'd Inchantresse.
Rio.
What 's the businesse?
Bla.
Onely some few words, slipt her vnawares,
For my Sake, make her peace.
Rio.
You charge me deepely,
Come Friend, will you be Moou'd at womens Words,
A man of your knowne iudgement?
Y. Lio.
Had you but heard,
The damn'd Erronious Doctrine that shee taught,
You would haue iudg'd her to the Stake.
Bla.
But Sweet heart,
Shee now Recants those Errours, once more Number her
Amongst your Houshold seruants.
Rio.
Shall she beg, and be denyed ought from you?
Bla.
Come this Kisse, Shall end all former quarells.
Rio.
'Tis not possible,
Those Lippes should mooue in vaine, that two wayes plead;
Both in their Speech, and Silence.
Y. Lio.
You haue preuail'd,
But vpon this Condition, no way else,
Ile Sensure her, as shee hath Sentenc'd thee;
But with some small Inuersion,
Rio.
Speake, how 's that?
Bla.
Not too seuere, I prethee, see poore wretch,
Shee at the barre, stands quaking.
Now, hold vp?
Rio.
How man, how?
Y. Lio.
Her hand, I meane; And now il'e sentence thee,
According to thy Councell giuen to her:
Saile by one Winde; Thou shalt, to one tune Sing,
Lie at one Guard, and Play but on one String,
Hencefoorth, I will Confine thee to one Garment,
And that shall be a cast one, Like thy selfe
Iust, past all Wearing, as thou past all Vse,
And not to be renewed, til 't be as Ragged,
As thou art Rotten.
Bla.
Nay sweet.
Y. Lio.
That for her Habbit.
Sca.
A cold Sute, I haue on 't.
Y. Lio.
To preuent Surfit,
Thy Diet, shall bee to one Dish confin'd,
And that too Rifled, with as vncleane hands,
As ere were laid on thee.
Sca.
What hee scants me in Victuals, would he but alow mee in Drinke.
Y. Lio.
That shall be the refuse of the Flagons, Iacks,
And Snuffes, such as the nastiest Breathes shall leaue;
Of Wine, and Strong-water, neuer hope,
Hencefoorth to Smell.
Sca.
Oh me, I Faint already.
Y. Lio.
If I sincke in my State, of all the rest,
Be thou excused, what thou proposed to her,
Beldam, is now against thy selfe decreed,
Drinke from drie springs, from empty Knap-sacks feede.
Sca.
No burnt Wine, nor Hot-waters.
She Swounds.
Y. Lio.
Take her hence.
Bla.
Indeede you are too cruell.
Y. Lio.
Yes to her,
Onely of purpose, to be kind to thee;
Are any of my Guests come?
Rio.
Feare not Sir,
You will haue a full Table.
Y. Lio.
What, and Musicke?
Rio.
Best Consort in the Citie, for sixe parts.
Y. Lio.
Wee shall haue Songs then?
Rio.
Bith' eare.
Whispers.
Y. Lio.
And Wenches?
Rio.
Yes bith' eye.
Bla.
Ha, what was that you said?
Rio.
We shall haue such to beare you company,
As will no doubt content you.
Enter then:
In Youth there is a Fate, that swayes vs still,
To know what 's Good, and yet pursue what 's Ill.
Exeunt omnes.
| The English Traveller | |