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A batch of war ballads

By Martin F. Tupper

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14

VI. THE TWO NEIGHBOURS.

A quarrelsome churl and a peaceable man
Were living side by side,
And the peaceable man as the wisest plan
Put up with his neighbour's pride,
Put up with his humours, and never said nay
To much that my lord condescended to say.
But soon Sir Quarrelsome got up a sham,
—Much like the wolf in the fable—
Resolved to devour this peaceable lamb
As he fancied he was able;
So to brew up a worry he makes a great fuss
About his religion, this quarrelsome Russ.
The peaceable man,—tho' they call him a Turk,
Gave all that his neighbour desired,
Whatever was reason he made no work
Of yielding, as required;
But nothing would do, for the quarrelsome boor
Wanted a quarrel—and something more!

15

He wanted more than the Turk could yield,
And more than a man should give;
He wanted to steal his neighbour's field,
In his neighbour's house to live:
In fact, he coveted warmer climes
And took little court of covetous crimes.
So Menskickoff with vigour and spite
Did all that his master bid him;
He kick'd to the left, and he kick'd to the right,
And nobody check'd or chid him;
A worthy ambassador, rude and rough,
Was this redoubtable Menskickoff!
The Turk he happened to have two friends,
Good sensible fellows and strong,
To one and the other in trouble he sends
To tell them of this wrong,
And they together resolve as they can
To put into limbo the quarrelsome man.
For the quarrelsome churl had managed to be
A nuisance to all around him;
In short, all Europe seem'd to agree
That blest were the bonds that bound him;
For he gloom'd on the earth like a northerly cloud,
And every one wish'd that his shirt was a shroud!
Accordingly, those two friends and the Turk
Have come to a fix'd conclusion
Of that world-worry to make short work
And cover him up with confusion:
By sea and by land this boor to withstand,
And muzzle the Bear with a resolute hand.