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The Times' Whistle

Or A Newe Daunce of Seuen Satires, and other Poems: Compiled by R. C., Gent. [i.e. Richard Corbett]. Now First Edited from Ms. Y. 8. 3. in the Library of Canterbury Cathedral: With introduction, notes, and glossary, By J. M. Cowper

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Sat[ira] 3. [AGAINST PRIDE, ETC.]
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Sat[ira] 3. [AGAINST PRIDE, ETC.]
[_]

The attribution of this poem is questionable.

Argumentum.

Dum tendit superos ambire superbia cœlos,
Decidit ad Stigium fulmine quassa lacum.
Æterno verum sic indignata perisse,
Cœcos mortales ad sua regna trahit.
After the fabricke of heaven, earth, & seas
Were gloriously composde, it then did please
High Iove (e're he began mans operation)
To give vnto the Angels their creation.
No earthy substance was in them at all,
Their formes were heavenly & spirituall.
Yet some of these, vpon the very day
They were by God created (if I say
Vntruth, I can alleadge mine author for it),
Swelling with pride (oh, I to write abhor it)
Because they were such glorious creatures, strove
To take possession of the throne of Iove.
But he, displeasde with such ambition,
Struck them with lightning downe to Acheron,
And them confined perpetually to dwell
In the darke horrour of infernall hell.
Thus were faire angels ougly devils made,
And one dayes sinne an everlasting trade.

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After the fall of these was man compacted,
And from him sleeping woman was extracted
And made to be a kinde associat
Vnto him. Now the devill shewes his hate
And swelling envie 'gainst God in his creature
Formd to his image, man; to make defeature
Of his estate in blisse, he doth intend
And fittest opportunity attend.
To worke this feat proud Lucifer's enioynd,
And goe[s] about it swifter then the winde.
“Shall I,” quoth he, “fall from celestiall blisse
Into the horrour of hells blacke abysse,
And man escape? Shall I in torment live,
And man in pleasure? Shall I only grieve,
And man goe scotfree? No, 'twill ease my paine
If in my griefe I him copartner gaine;
And I will doe it: if my plots hit right,
I 'le bring his soule vnto perpetuall night.”
This saide, the serpents shape he takes & hies
Vnto the tree in midst of Paradise.
There findes the woman, after namèd Eve,
The weakest vessell, easiest to deceave;
Whose minde with hellish pride he straight inspirde
That she [the] trees forbidden fruit desirde;
The tree of which alone she might not eat,
The tree forbidden by the Lord for meat.
The tree of knowledge, knowledge of much evill,
She gathers straight, seducèd by the devill,
Which greedilie, without advice, she tasted,
And then to give her husband of it hasted.
Whom when she had allurde vnto her will,
And both had tasted, then they knew their ill;
But all too late (first Phrigians) they grew wise,

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Being both thrust forth Edens Paradise;
Which happy place man ever had possessed,
If they had never in this sorte transgressed.
Vnhappy three, first causers of our evill,
Fond man, proude woman, & accursèd devill!
Since this hath pride increasd with Adams seed,
And Lucifer companions shall not need;
Man with soe many kindes of pride doth swell
As if he strove headlong to run to hell.
Some shew their pride in raysing stately bowers,
Which seem to threatne heaven like Babell towers;
Building so strong, erecting them so high,
As if they ment to live eternally,
In spite of Iove. Others bestow more cost
In houses built for pleasure, which they boast
Are but for shew, then would maintaine & cherish
Thousands of poore soules which are like to perish:
Confusion sure will light on their pretence
Which wast their treasure in soe vaine expence.
Others there be which, clad in gay attire,
In stately gate & loftie lookes, aspire
Above their ranke; holding inferiors base,
Scarsely permitting equalles come in place
Of fellowship, vnlesse their peacock sutes
Gaine them admittance in their proud reputes.
O, these are men of admiration,
Which follow each fantastique fashion,
To be observde with reverence & respect;
When, if we could the inward man detect,
God knowes that I am not deceavd a whit,
Their gay apparrell covers litle witt.
Most of our women are extreamly proud
Of their faire lookes, & therfore doe enshroud
Their beauties in a maske; with greater care
Their faces then their soules, to keepen faire.
Some of this kinde when beauty gins decay,

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By art restore what nature takes away,
Painting their visage. Cursed Iesabell
That taught them this, will bring them all to hell.
This vice in woeman only doth not bide,
Men alsoe are infected with this pride.
Some curle their pates to make their lookes more fair,
Others delight to wear a locke of haire,
A lovelocke, which being of the longest size
Doth the lewd wearer quite effeminize.
Nay some with fucus will besmear their face,
It ads to their complexion better grace.
I knowe a snowt-faire, selfe-conceited asse,
Which is still prying in a looking glasse
To see his fooles face, washt with ly o 'th' chamber,
And set his beard, perfumde with greece of amber,
Or kembe his civet lockes, soe far in love
With his owne beauty, that I fear hee'l proove
Sicke with conceat; for the which maladie
I can prescribe no better remedy
Then wish the glasse, wherin he views his face,
A river, him to take Narcissus place,
So the next time he came on 's face to looke
He should be drenchèd in the liquid brooke.
But leaving him a courting in the glasse
His owne vaine shadowe, I this coxcome passe.
Others there be which, selfe-conceited wise,
Take a great pride in their owne vaine surmise,
That all men think them soe; these take delight
To hear themselves speak; if they can recite
A thing scarce worth the hearing, they will prate
Till they tire all men with their idle chatt.
Others, ambitious like fond Phaeton,
Aspire to guide the chariot of the sunne,
Aiming at honours far above their place,
Till by their pride they worke their owne disgrace.

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Presumptuous pride in others doth remaine,
And these high Ioves almighty power disdaine,
And (like those giants) fight against the gods,
Till, Pharoah like, they scourgèd are with rods
Of dire affliction, & their hardned hearts
Vnto their guilty soule dispaire impartes.
But I too much insist in generall:—
Pride in particular must be dealt withall.
He that desires to breake a bunch of wandes,
Must not take all at once into his handes,
But singlie, one by one; and if he trie,
He may then break them with facility.
Reader, doe thou the application make,
For I to other matters me betake.
Proud Romish prelat, triple crownèd Pope,
Which vauntst of Peters heavenly keis, that ope
The dore that leads vnto celestiall blisse;
Which makst great princes stoope thy foote to kisse,
Emperours vpon thy stirrop to attend,
When as thou wilt thy stately horse ascend;
Damd Antichrist, proud Lucifers first sonne,
Ambitious beast, great whore of Babilon!
Thou false vsurper of Gods regal throne,
How darst assume his honour, which, alone
Monarch of heaven & earth, disdaine[s] to see
Corrivals in his sacred Emperie?
How darst thou take vpon thee such authority
Which doth belong to Gods high majesty,
To forgive sinnes, to award heaven & hell
At thine owne pleasure? Wher didst learne to swell
With such ambition? Thinkst thou Peeters chaire
Can sheild thee from Gods wrath? Can once impaire
And lessen thy deservèd punnishment?
Can free thee from eternall detriment?
Thinkst thou that he presumption can abide,
Which did not spare his angels for their pride?

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No. Thou shalt finde that he will vengeance take,
Sending thee headlong to the Stygian lake.
Maddam Poppæa is soe stately growne
That she can neither sit nor walke alone;
Store of attendants still must wait vpon her,
And doe obsequious homage to her honour.
The ground she thinkes vnworthy is to bear
Her precious body; when she doth vprear
Her selfe vpon her feet, there must be spread
Rich clothes of Arras wher she goes to tread.
If she doe ride, the horse that must vpholde
So rare a burden must be shod with golde.
When she intends to wash her selfe she hath
Of goats pure milck a sweet preparèd bath.
Musick beyond the musick of the spheares
Must still attend vpon her itching eares.
Her food must be Ambrosian delicates,
Dissolvèd pearle her drink. Impartiall fates!
How can ye suffer this lascivious quean
Thus swell in pride, thus swim in pleasures streame,
And holde your thunder fast? Proud, stately dame,
Which more respectst thy body then thy fame,
Or thy soules health, know that all working Power
Which did confound (by wormes that did devour
His cursed body) Herods lofty pride,
Will, when thou thinkst thou art most diefied,
Sevearly punnish with confusion,
To thy soules horrour, this presumption.
Lucius spends his substance & his store,
To keep in gallant fashion his proud whore,
Yet al 's to litle to maintaine her pride;
She must be coatcht, forsooth, & bravely ride.
Lackies before her charriot must run,
And she in spangled gold, clothd like the sunne,
Dazels the eyes of men, or she complaines

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He loves her not, & such a man maintaines
His love in better fashion! Then his land
Must flie, for soe his mistris doth command,
To bolster vp her pride. O foolish sot,
Thus to procure thy reputations blot,
Thy states vndooing, & thy soules perdition
For on[e] soe base & of soe vile condition!
Drusus, that fashion-imitating ape,
Delights to follow each fantastique shape;
Every new habit of hell-hac[t]hed sinne,
Though it vndooe him, hee'l be clothèd in;
And prodigally vpon every toy
Lash out his substance; 'tis his only ioy
To see himselfe not differing in a hair
From the true stamp of a brave Cavaleer.
Vain Epainnutus, selfe-admiring gull,
Doth speake orations, write whole volumes full
Of his owne praises. Silly, simple sotte,
Hast thou that auncient, true saide sawe forgot,
That “a mans praise in his owne mouth doth stinke”?
Or dost (foole if thou dost) absurdly think
This age such shallow pated men affords,
That will give credit to thy boasting wordes?
Because in gay apparell thou art drest
Some puppet-like thou dost advaunce thy crest,
And swell in big lookes like some turkie cocke,
Ready to burst with pride, & even to choake
With selfe-conceit of thy perfection,
Which is iust nowe, though the infection
Of thy high leveld thoughts lets thee not see
The ougly face of thy deformity.
Thou which thinkst Adon, that same lovely boy,
Dame Natures dareling, Cithereas joy,
A taunie Negro, or Barbarian Moore,
Comparèd to thy selfe, & dost adore
Even thine owne beauty like some demigod,

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Which (for on purpose thou dost goe abroad
To shew thy selfe), thou vainely dost surmise
Doth even ravish the beholders eyes.
Noe wench that sees thee, but straight fals in love
With thy rare feature, & doth wish to prove
The tast of thy Ambrosian lip; one kisse
From thy mirre-breathing mouth were endless blisse;
But gavst thou other joyes (which in thee lies)
They would be thought 'bove ioyes of paradise.
Thou bladder full puft vp with vanity,
Whom with my pen I prick, that ther migh[t] flie
Out into open aire all windy pride,
All self-conceit; then being repurifide,
Before the purchase of all earthly pelfe
Learn Solons saying, “Mortall, know thy selfe.”
Neotimus, why art thou growne so proud,
Instead of Iuno to embrace a cloud
I' nothing worth? These honours heapd vpon thee
Are but as shadowes, & will soone flie from thee.
Ther is an everlasting dignity
Of greater worth and more insignity,
To be sought out, which thou shalt ne're attaine,
If pride in thy aspiring thoughts doe reigne.
Contemne not them because thy selfe art high,
Who, if the heavens had pleasd, might equally
Have rankd with thee, yet now are low in state;
All men are not predestind to on[e] fate.
Become more humble, & cast downe thy looke,
Least prides bait snare thee on the devils hooke,
And having caught thee, hale thee downe to hell,
With fiends in everlasting paines to dwell.
For why shouldst thou be proud 'cause thou art high
In titles of renownèd dignity?
Honour's a flower that will soon decay;
Honour's a vapour, quickly blowne away;
And 'tis a saying held for true of all,

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“A sudden rising hath a sudden fall.”
Philarchus (which in his ambitious minde
Devoures whole kingdomes) doth smale comfort finde
In his olde vnckles new-framde married life,
But lesse in the male issue of his wife.
The bastard brat (for soe he calles his cozen)
Defrauds his expectation of a dozen
Of goodly lordships, which (his hopes were faire)
Should come to him, as the next lawfull heire.
But now this boy, which stands as a crosse-barre
Twixt him & home, doth all his fortunes marre.
But long he shall not soe, if figs of Spaine,
Or pils of Italy their force retaine;
If ther be meanes that his pretence will furder,
If ther be hands that dare enact a murder,
Hee'l send his soule (wher himselfe ne're shall come)
To Abrahams bosome (mans long lookd for home).
Nor shall his aged vnckle 'scape this net,
Least if he live he doe more sonnes beget;
Least he more issue by this marriage have,
He shalbe wedded shortly to his grave.
But then his vnckles wife surviues, purchance
Left quick with childe; & then he may goe dance
For a new living; no, he likes not that,
She shall be soone pact after too, that's flat;
Besides, her ioynture, in his heart engravde
With duble greatnesse, by her death is savde.
Ambitious slave! wilt make a crimsen flood
Of thy neare dearest kinsmens vitall blood,
To wash thy murdrous handes? Think not at all
Vpon a deed so much vnnaturall!
Shall hope of some vain titles move thy minde,
To doe an act perpetually combinde
With horrour of a guilty conscience

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(A most deservèd & due recompence)
Wilt thou for purchase of a litle land,
With innocent blood distaine thy guilty hand?
Desist; for murder 's an iniquity
That for iust vengeance vnto heaven doth crie.
And darst thou then insist in thy invention?
Is there noe hope to alter thine intention?
No! Thou art flesht in sinne, & dost despise
My Christian counsell; Satan blinde[s] thine eyes.
Goe forward then in this lewd preparation,
But know thou headlong runst vnto damnation.
Thus Lucifer, which through ambition fell,
Strives dayly to bring company to hell
Of each degree & sex, from every nation.
Mortals, become more wise; make preparation
Of armes defensiue to resist this devill
Which would procure your everlasting evill.
But you, whose vnrelenting heartes persist
In fearfull pride, will then cry, “had I wist,”
Yet all too late, when each his sinne shall rue;
You having your iust meed, & hell his due.
Thoug[h] God awhile his punnishment delay,
A thing deferd 's not taken quite away.
But now enough of Luciferian pride,
Ther 's other vices in the world beside.