All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted |
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 | All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet |  |
It was in Iune the eight and thirtieth day,
That I imbarked was on highgate Hill,
After discourteous friendly taking leaue:
Of my young Father Madge and Mother Iohn,
The Wind did ebbe, the tide flou'd North Southeast,
We hoist our Sailes of Colloquintida.
And after 13. dayes and 17. nights,
(With certaine Hiroglyphicke houres to boot)
We with tempestuous calmes, and friendly stormes,
Split our maine top-mast, close below the keele.
But I with a dull quicke congruity,
Tooke 19. ounces of the Westerne winde,
And with the pith of the pole Artichocke,
Saild by the flaming Coast of Trapezond,
There in a Fort of melting Adamant,
Arm'd in a Crimson Robe, as blacke as Iet,
I saw Alcides with a Spiders thred,
Lead Cerberus to the Prononticke Sea,
Then cutting further through the marble Maine,
Mongst flying Buls, and 4. leg'd Turkicocks,
A dumbe faire spoken, welfac'd aged youth,
Sent to me from the stout Stimphalides,
With tonguelesse silence thus began his speech:
Illustrious flap-iacke, to thy hungry doome,
Low as the ground I eleuate my cause,
As I vpon a Gnat was riding late,
In quest to parley with the Pleiades,
I saw the Duke of Hounsditch gaping close,
In a greene Arbour made of yellow starch,
Betwixt two Brokers howling Madrigales,
A Banquet was serued in of Lampraies bones,
Well pickel'd in the Tarbox of old time,
When Demogorgon saild to Islington;
Which I perceiuing with nine chads of steele,
Straight flew vnto the coast of Pimlico.
T'informe great Prester Iohn, and the Mogull,
What exlent Oysters were at Billingsgate.
The Mogull (all inraged with these newes,)
Sent a blacke snaile post to Tartaria,
To tell the Irishmen in Saxony,
The dismall downefall of old Charing Crosse.
With that nine butter Firkins in a flame,
Did coldly rise to Arbitrate the cause:
Guessing by the Sinderesis of Wapping,
Saint Thomas Watrings is most ominous.
For though an Andiron, and a paire of Tongs,
May both haue breeding from one teeming womb,
Yet by the Calculation of Pickt-hatch,
Milke must not be so deere as Muskadell.
First shall Melpomene in Cobweb Lawne
Adorne great Memphis in a Mussell boat,
And all the muses clad in Robes of Ayre,
Shall dance, Leuoltons with a Whirligig,
Faire Pluto shall descend from Brazen Dis,
And Poliphemus keepe a Seamsters shop,
The Ile of Wight shall like a diue-dapper,
Deuoure the Egyptian proud Piramides,
Whilst Cassia Fistula shall gurmundize,
Vpon the flesh and bloud of Croydon cole dust,
Then on the bankes of Shoreditch shall be seene,
What 'tis to serue the great Vtopian Queene.
This fearefull period with great ioyfull care,
Was heard with acclamations, and in fine,
The whilst a lad of aged Nestors yeeres,
Stood sitting in a Throne of massy yeast:
(Not speaking any word) gaue this reply:
Most conscript Vmpire in this various Orbe,
I saw the Cædars of old, Lebanon,
Read a sad Lecture vnto Clapham heath,
At which time a strange vision did appeare,
His head was Buckrum, and his eyes were sedge,
His armes were blue bottles, his teeth were straw,
His legs were nine wel squar'd Tobacco Pipes,
Cloath'd in a garment all of Dolphins egges,
Then with a voyce erected to the ground,
Lifting aloft his hands vnto his feet,
He thus beganne, Cease friendly cutting throtes,
Clamor the Promulgation of your tongues,
And yeeld to Demagorgons policy.
Stop the refulgent method of your moodes,
For should you liue old Paphlagonias yeeres,
And with Sardanapalus match in vertue.
Yet Atropos will with a Marigold,
Runne through the Mountains of the Caspian Sea.
When you shall see aboue you and beneath,
That nothing kils a man so soone as death,
Aquarius ioyn'd with Pisces, in firme league,
With Reasons and vindictiue Arguments,
That pulueriz'd the King of Diamonds,
And with a diogoricall relapse,
Squeaz'd through the Sinders of a Butterflye,
Great Oberon was mounted on a Waspe,
To signifie this newes at Dunstable.
The Weathercock at Pancrage in a fume,
With Patience much distracted hearing this,
Repli'd thus briefly without feare or wit,
What madnesse doth thy Pericranion seaze,
Beyond the Dragons taile Artyphilax.
Think'st thou a Wolfe thrust through a sheep-skin, gloue,
Can make me take this Gobling for a Lambe:
Or that a Crocadile in Barly broth,
Is not a dish to feast don Belzebub,
Giue me a Medler in a field of blue,
Wrapt vp stigmatically in a dreame,
And I will send him to the gates of Dis,
To cause him fetch a sword of massie Chalke,
With which he wan the fatall Theban field,
From Romes great mitred Metropolitan.
Much was the quoile this brauing answere made,
When presently a German Coniurer,
Did ope a learned Booke of Palmistry,
Cram'd full of mentall reseruations:
The which beginning with a loud low voyce,
With affable and kind discourtesie,
He spake what no man heard or vnderstood,
Words tending vnto this or no respect,
Spawne of a Tortoyse hold thy silent noyse,
For when the great Leuiathan of Trumps,
Shall make a breach in Sinons Tennis Court.
Then shall the pigmey mighty Hercules,
Skip like a wildernesse in Woodstreet Counter,
Then Taurus shall in league with Hanniball,
Draw Bacchus dry, whilst Boreas in a heat,
Inuellop'd in a Gowne of Isicles:
With much discretion and great want of wit,
Leaue all as wisely as it was at first.
I mused much how those things could be done.
When straite a water Tankard answer'd me,
That it was made with a Parenthesis,
With thirteene yards of Kersie and a halfe,
Made of fine flaxe which grew on Goodwinsands,
Whereby we all perceiu'd the Hernshawes breed,
Being trusted with a charitable doome,
Was neere Bunhill, when strait I might discry,
The Quintescence of Grubstreet, well distild
Through Cripplegate in a contagious Map.
Bright Phaeton all angry at the sight,
Snatcht a large Wool-packe from a pismires mouth.
And in a Taylors Thimble boi'ld a Cabbage.
Then all the standers by, most Reuerend, Rude,
Iudg'd the case was most obscure and cleere,
And that three salt Ennigmates well appli'd,
With fourescoure Pipers and Arions Harpe,
Might catch Garagantua through an augor-hole,
And twas no doubt but mulley Mahamet,
Would make a quaffing bowle of Gorgons skul,
Whilst gormundizing Tantalus would weepe,
That Polipheme should kisse Auroraes lips,
Tri-formed Cinthia in a Sinkefoile shape,
Met with the Dogstarre on Saint Dauids day,
But said Grimalkin mumbling vp the Alpes,
Made fifteene fustian fumes of Pasticrust.
This was no sooner knowne at Amsterdam,
But with an Ethiopian Argosey,
Man'd with Flap-dragons, drinking vpsifreeze;
They past the purple gulfe of Basingstoke.
This being finisht, search to any end,
A full odde number of iust sixteene dogs,
Drencht in a sulpher flame of scalding Ice,
Sung the Besonian Whirlepooles of Argeire,
Mixt with pragmaticall potato Pies,
With that I turn'd my eares to see these things,
And on a Christall wall of Scarlet dye,
I with mine eyes began to heare and note,
What these succeeding Verses might portend,
Which furiously an Anabaptist squeak'd,
The audience deafly listning all the while.
That I imbarked was on highgate Hill,
After discourteous friendly taking leaue:
Of my young Father Madge and Mother Iohn,
The Wind did ebbe, the tide flou'd North Southeast,
We hoist our Sailes of Colloquintida.
And after 13. dayes and 17. nights,
(With certaine Hiroglyphicke houres to boot)
We with tempestuous calmes, and friendly stormes,
Split our maine top-mast, close below the keele.
But I with a dull quicke congruity,
Tooke 19. ounces of the Westerne winde,
And with the pith of the pole Artichocke,
Saild by the flaming Coast of Trapezond,
There in a Fort of melting Adamant,
Arm'd in a Crimson Robe, as blacke as Iet,
I saw Alcides with a Spiders thred,
Lead Cerberus to the Prononticke Sea,
Then cutting further through the marble Maine,
Mongst flying Buls, and 4. leg'd Turkicocks,
A dumbe faire spoken, welfac'd aged youth,
Sent to me from the stout Stimphalides,
With tonguelesse silence thus began his speech:
Illustrious flap-iacke, to thy hungry doome,
Low as the ground I eleuate my cause,
As I vpon a Gnat was riding late,
In quest to parley with the Pleiades,
I saw the Duke of Hounsditch gaping close,
In a greene Arbour made of yellow starch,
Betwixt two Brokers howling Madrigales,
A Banquet was serued in of Lampraies bones,
Well pickel'd in the Tarbox of old time,
When Demogorgon saild to Islington;
Which I perceiuing with nine chads of steele,
Straight flew vnto the coast of Pimlico.
T'informe great Prester Iohn, and the Mogull,
What exlent Oysters were at Billingsgate.
The Mogull (all inraged with these newes,)
Sent a blacke snaile post to Tartaria,
To tell the Irishmen in Saxony,
The dismall downefall of old Charing Crosse.
With that nine butter Firkins in a flame,
Did coldly rise to Arbitrate the cause:
Guessing by the Sinderesis of Wapping,
Saint Thomas Watrings is most ominous.
For though an Andiron, and a paire of Tongs,
May both haue breeding from one teeming womb,
Yet by the Calculation of Pickt-hatch,
Milke must not be so deere as Muskadell.
First shall Melpomene in Cobweb Lawne
Adorne great Memphis in a Mussell boat,
And all the muses clad in Robes of Ayre,
Shall dance, Leuoltons with a Whirligig,
Faire Pluto shall descend from Brazen Dis,
And Poliphemus keepe a Seamsters shop,
The Ile of Wight shall like a diue-dapper,
Deuoure the Egyptian proud Piramides,
Whilst Cassia Fistula shall gurmundize,
Vpon the flesh and bloud of Croydon cole dust,
Then on the bankes of Shoreditch shall be seene,
What 'tis to serue the great Vtopian Queene.
This fearefull period with great ioyfull care,
Was heard with acclamations, and in fine,
The whilst a lad of aged Nestors yeeres,
Stood sitting in a Throne of massy yeast:
(Not speaking any word) gaue this reply:
Most conscript Vmpire in this various Orbe,
I saw the Cædars of old, Lebanon,
Read a sad Lecture vnto Clapham heath,
At which time a strange vision did appeare,
His head was Buckrum, and his eyes were sedge,
His armes were blue bottles, his teeth were straw,
His legs were nine wel squar'd Tobacco Pipes,
Cloath'd in a garment all of Dolphins egges,
Then with a voyce erected to the ground,
Lifting aloft his hands vnto his feet,
He thus beganne, Cease friendly cutting throtes,
Clamor the Promulgation of your tongues,
And yeeld to Demagorgons policy.
Stop the refulgent method of your moodes,
For should you liue old Paphlagonias yeeres,
And with Sardanapalus match in vertue.
Yet Atropos will with a Marigold,
Runne through the Mountains of the Caspian Sea.
When you shall see aboue you and beneath,
That nothing kils a man so soone as death,
Aquarius ioyn'd with Pisces, in firme league,
With Reasons and vindictiue Arguments,
That pulueriz'd the King of Diamonds,
And with a diogoricall relapse,
Squeaz'd through the Sinders of a Butterflye,
Great Oberon was mounted on a Waspe,
To signifie this newes at Dunstable.
The Weathercock at Pancrage in a fume,
2
Repli'd thus briefly without feare or wit,
What madnesse doth thy Pericranion seaze,
Beyond the Dragons taile Artyphilax.
Think'st thou a Wolfe thrust through a sheep-skin, gloue,
Can make me take this Gobling for a Lambe:
Or that a Crocadile in Barly broth,
Is not a dish to feast don Belzebub,
Giue me a Medler in a field of blue,
Wrapt vp stigmatically in a dreame,
And I will send him to the gates of Dis,
To cause him fetch a sword of massie Chalke,
With which he wan the fatall Theban field,
From Romes great mitred Metropolitan.
Much was the quoile this brauing answere made,
When presently a German Coniurer,
Did ope a learned Booke of Palmistry,
Cram'd full of mentall reseruations:
The which beginning with a loud low voyce,
With affable and kind discourtesie,
He spake what no man heard or vnderstood,
Words tending vnto this or no respect,
Spawne of a Tortoyse hold thy silent noyse,
For when the great Leuiathan of Trumps,
Shall make a breach in Sinons Tennis Court.
Then shall the pigmey mighty Hercules,
Skip like a wildernesse in Woodstreet Counter,
Then Taurus shall in league with Hanniball,
Draw Bacchus dry, whilst Boreas in a heat,
Inuellop'd in a Gowne of Isicles:
With much discretion and great want of wit,
Leaue all as wisely as it was at first.
I mused much how those things could be done.
When straite a water Tankard answer'd me,
That it was made with a Parenthesis,
With thirteene yards of Kersie and a halfe,
Made of fine flaxe which grew on Goodwinsands,
Whereby we all perceiu'd the Hernshawes breed,
Being trusted with a charitable doome,
Was neere Bunhill, when strait I might discry,
The Quintescence of Grubstreet, well distild
Through Cripplegate in a contagious Map.
Bright Phaeton all angry at the sight,
Snatcht a large Wool-packe from a pismires mouth.
And in a Taylors Thimble boi'ld a Cabbage.
Then all the standers by, most Reuerend, Rude,
Iudg'd the case was most obscure and cleere,
And that three salt Ennigmates well appli'd,
With fourescoure Pipers and Arions Harpe,
Might catch Garagantua through an augor-hole,
And twas no doubt but mulley Mahamet,
Would make a quaffing bowle of Gorgons skul,
Whilst gormundizing Tantalus would weepe,
That Polipheme should kisse Auroraes lips,
Tri-formed Cinthia in a Sinkefoile shape,
Met with the Dogstarre on Saint Dauids day,
But said Grimalkin mumbling vp the Alpes,
Made fifteene fustian fumes of Pasticrust.
This was no sooner knowne at Amsterdam,
But with an Ethiopian Argosey,
Man'd with Flap-dragons, drinking vpsifreeze;
They past the purple gulfe of Basingstoke.
This being finisht, search to any end,
A full odde number of iust sixteene dogs,
Drencht in a sulpher flame of scalding Ice,
Sung the Besonian Whirlepooles of Argeire,
Mixt with pragmaticall potato Pies,
With that I turn'd my eares to see these things,
And on a Christall wall of Scarlet dye,
I with mine eyes began to heare and note,
What these succeeding Verses might portend,
Which furiously an Anabaptist squeak'd,
The audience deafly listning all the while.
| All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet | |