The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore Collected by Himself. In Ten Volumes |
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THE THREE DOCTORS. |
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 | The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore |  |
181
THE THREE DOCTORS.
Doctoribus lætamur tribus.
1826.
Though many great Doctors there be,
There are three that all Doctors out-top,
Doctor Eady, that famous M. D.,
Doctor S---th*y, and dear Doctor Slop.
There are three that all Doctors out-top,
Doctor Eady, that famous M. D.,
Doctor S---th*y, and dear Doctor Slop.
The purger—the proser—the bard—
All quacks in a different style;
Doctor S---th*y writes books by the yard,
Doctor Eady writes puffs by the mile!
All quacks in a different style;
Doctor S---th*y writes books by the yard,
Doctor Eady writes puffs by the mile!
Doctor Slop, in no merit outdone
By his scribbling or physicking brother,
Can dose us with stuff like the one,
Ay, and doze us with stuff like the other.
By his scribbling or physicking brother,
Can dose us with stuff like the one,
Ay, and doze us with stuff like the other.
182
Doctor Eady good company keeps
With “No Popery” scribes, on the walls;
Doctor S---th*y as gloriously sleeps
With “No Popery” scribes, on the stalls.
With “No Popery” scribes, on the walls;
Doctor S---th*y as gloriously sleeps
With “No Popery” scribes, on the stalls.
Doctor Slop, upon subjects divine,
Such bedlamite slaver lets drop,
That, if Eady should take the mad line,
He'll be sure of a patient in Slop.
Such bedlamite slaver lets drop,
That, if Eady should take the mad line,
He'll be sure of a patient in Slop.
Seven millions of Papists, no less,
Doctor S---th*y attacks, like a Turk ;
Doctor Eady, less bold, I confess,
Attacks but his maid-of-all-work.
Doctor S---th*y attacks, like a Turk ;
Doctor Eady, less bold, I confess,
Attacks but his maid-of-all-work.
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Doctor S---th*y, for his grand attack,
Both a laureate and pensioner is;
While poor Doctor Eady, alack,
Has been had up to Bow-street, for his!
Both a laureate and pensioner is;
While poor Doctor Eady, alack,
Has been had up to Bow-street, for his!
And truly, the law does so blunder,
That, though little blood has been spilt, he
May probably suffer as, under
The Chalking Act, known to be guilty.
That, though little blood has been spilt, he
May probably suffer as, under
The Chalking Act, known to be guilty.
So much for the merits sublime
(With whose catalogue ne'er should I stop)
Of the three greatest lights of our time,
Doctor Eady, and S---th*y, and Slop!
(With whose catalogue ne'er should I stop)
Of the three greatest lights of our time,
Doctor Eady, and S---th*y, and Slop!
Should you ask me, to which of the three
Great Doctors the pref'rence should fall,
As a matter of course, I agree
Doctor Eady must go to the wall.
Great Doctors the pref'rence should fall,
As a matter of course, I agree
Doctor Eady must go to the wall.
But as S---th*y with laurels is crown'd,
And Slop with a wig and a tail is,
Let Eady's bright temples be bound
With a swingeing “Corona Muralis!”
And Slop with a wig and a tail is,
184
With a swingeing “Corona Muralis!”
This seraphic doctor, in the preface to his last work (Vindiciæ Ecclesiæ Anglicanæ), is pleased to anathematize not only all Catholics, but all advocates of Catholics:—“They have for their immediate allies (he says) every faction that is banded against the State, every demagogue, every irreligious and seditious journalist, every open and every insidious enemy to Monarchy and to Christianity.”
| The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore | |