The Poetical Works of Thomas Moore :: :: University of Virginia Library

Dear Goddess of Corn, whom the ancients, we know,
(Among other odd whims of those comical bodies,)
Adorn'd with somniferous poppies, to show
Thou wert always a true Country-gentleman's Goddess.

Behold, in his best shooting-jacket, before thee,
An eloquent 'Squire, who most humbly beseeches,
Great Queen of Mark-lane (if the thing doesn't bore thee),
Thou'lt read o'er the last of his—never-last speeches.

Ah! Ceres, thou know't not the slander and scorn
Now heap'd upon England's 'Squirearchy, so boasted;

156

Improving on Hunt, 'tis no longer the Corn,
'Tis the growers of Corn that are now, alas! roasted.

In speeches, in books, in all shapes they attack us—
Reviewers, economists—fellows, no doubt,
That you, my dear Ceres, and Venus, and Bacchus,
And Gods of high fashion know little about.

There's B*nth*m, whose English is all his own making,—
Who thinks just as little of settling a nation
As he would of smoking his pipe, or of taking
(What he, himself, calls) his “post-prandial vibration.”

There are two Mr. M*lls, too, whom those that love reading
Through all that's unreadable, call very clever;—
And, whereas M*ll Senior makes war on good breeding,
M*ll Junior makes war on all breeding whatever!

157

In short, my dear Goddess, Old England's divided
Between ultra blockheads and superfine sages;—
With which of these classes we, landlords, have sided
Thou'lt find in my Speech, if thou'lt read a few pages.

For therein I've prov'd, to my own satisfaction,
And that of all 'Squires I've the honour of meeting,
That 'tis the most senseless and foul-mouth'd detraction
To say that poor people are fond of cheap eating.

On the contrary, such the “chaste notions ” of food
That dwell in each pale manufacturer's heart,
They would scorn any law, be it ever so good,
That would make thee, dear Goddess, less dear than thou art!

And, oh! for Monopoly what a blest day,
When the Land and the Silk shall, in fond combination,

158

(Like Sulky and Silky, that pair in the play ,)
Cry out, with one voice, for High Rents and Starvation!

Long life to the Minister!—no matter who,
Or how dull he may be, if, with dignified spirit, he
Keeps the ports shut—and the people's mouths, too—
We shall all have a long run of Freddy's prosperity.

And, as for myself, who've, like Hannibal, sworn
To hate the whole crew who would take our rents from us,
Had England but One to stand by thee, Dear Corn,
That last, honest Uni-Corn would be Sir Th*m*s!

A sort of “breakfast-powder,” composed of roasted corn, was about this time introduced by Mr. Hunt, as a substitute for coffee.

The venerable Jeremy's phrase for his after-dinner walk.

A phrase in one of Sir T---m*s's last speeches.

Great efforts were, at that time, making for the exclusion of foreign silk.

“Road to Ruin.”

This is meant not so much for a pun, as in allusion to the natural history of the Unicorn, which is supposed to be something between the Bos and the Asinus, and, as Rees's Cyclopædia assures us, has a particular liking for every thing “chaste.”