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Duganne's Poetical Works

Autograph edition. Seventy-five Copies

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157

Parnassus in Pillory.

“Lend me your EARS.
Shakspeare.


158

TO His Friend, James Lesley, Jr. OF PHILADELPHIA, AS AN ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF APPRECIATION, This Satire IS DEDICATED BY MOTLEY MANNERS, Esq.

159

O thou who whilome, with unsparing jibe
And scorching satire, lashed the scribbling tribe;
Thou, who on Roman pimp and parasite
Didst pour the vials of thy righteous spite;—
Imperial Horace! let thy task be mine—
Let truth and justice sanctify my line!
And thou! relentless Draco of the schools,
Whose laws were scored upon the backs of fools!—
Thou bi-tongued genius, from whose magic lips
Poison for knaves, for good men honey, drips!
Thou Poet-Lacon, withering with a verb,
And reining folly with a figure's curb,—
Thou of the Dunciad! animate my strain;
For vain my task if 'tis not in thy vein!

160

As in some butcher's barricaded stall,
A thousand prisoned rats gnaw, squeak, and crawl,
While at the entrance, held by stalwart hands,
A panting terrier strives to burst his bands;—
With eyes inflamed and glittering teeth displayed,
Half turns to bite the hand by which he's stayed;—
So writhes and pants my terrier muse to chase
The rats of letters from creation's face.
Far scurvier vermin these, my biped game:
Rats gnaw but books—these gnaw the author's fame;
Holding Parnassus as a mammoth cheese,
Which, climbing not, they nibble as they please;
And plying tooth and claw so fast and well,
That the whole mount is like a hollow shell.
Pharaoh was plagued with locusts for his crimes—
Happy was Pharaoh to escape our times:
When myriad insects, plumed with pens of steel,
Buzz like some thrifty housewife's ceaseless wheel—
Buzz, but beyond the buzz all likeness dwindles,
Save that their brains be warps, their legs be spindles.
Down, terrier, down! we'll drop the canine form,
And incarnate the buzzing insect-swarm.
Let us invoke the Bards—as once, in Wales,
King Edward did—from mountains, swamps, and vales;

161

Convened them all, then broke each harp and head:

The coup d' état of Edward I. (so effectual that the Cambrian muse has remained tongue-tied ever since) might be imitated once a century with good results in every country. Though unmerciful, it would certainly be (poetically) just.


(Would that our bards had such a wise King Ned!)
Let us invoke them—and, as up they spring,
Shoot them, as boys shoot crows upon the wing:
Then shall their death-songs poetize the blast,
Like dying swan-notes—sweet, because the last.
Ah! vain to strive—inglorious to succeed—
To scotch the snake, yet not destroy its breed;
Small is the gain when for each foe that falls,
A foe more mischievous mine eyes appals;
Thus when the hydra's heads were struck to earth,
The dust that formed them gave them fresher birth.
Ah, gentle muse! if e'er, with ardent fire,
Thou seek'st to gild our cis-atlantic lyre,
How must thy lips with heavenly satire smile,
To note the hands which now that harp defile!
How must thy gaze, as o'er our glorious landscape
It roves, (from Florida's far reef to Ann's cape,)—
How must it blink, to mark the frenzied eyes
Of myriad bards clairvoyant through the skies!
Oh, hapless land of mine! whose country-presses
Labor with poets and with poetesses;
Where Helicon is quaffed like beer at table,
And Pegasus is “hitched” in every stable;
Where each smart dunce presumes to print a journal,
And every journalist is dubbed a “colonel;”

162

Where lovesick girls on chalk and charcoal thrive,
And prove (by singing) they're unfit to wive;
Where Gray might Miltons by the score compute—
“Inglorious” all, but, ah! by no means “mute.”
And whom to pounce on first—O vengeful muse?
Faith! they're so near alike, 'tis hard to choose.
A stereotyped and ancient form they bear—
Like sheepskin smallclothes of a century's wear.
Jack Ketch, when felons are about to die,
Divides their garments—but so will not I:
Though rainbow-hued, like Joseph's coat, their dress
(Should all exchange) could scarce fit each one less:
Each eyes his fellow's garb with crafty glare—
Some well-known patch he recognises there:
Some button, stolen where he stole his own—
Some diamond brooch, with ostentation shown,
Which he will swear is paste, and, in a trice,
Prove that he bought one like it, at half-price.
Motley and mean in truth these bipeds be—
A scurvier set ne'er marched through Coventry.
And, what inflames mine anger as I gaze,
His stolen shreds each knave with pride displays:
This one wears breeches that might make his shroud—
This in a child's caul his huge head would crowd;
This dabbles daintily with French fabrique
This wears a helmet o'er his visage sleek:

163

All stolen—all misused, and brought to waste!
Gods! if they must thieve, why not thieve with taste?
But, hold! are these in truth Columbia's bards?—
Do such assume the muse's high regards?
Are there no souls where loud Niagara roars?—
No hearts on Mississippi's sounding shores?
Are there no ears where tempests rend the skies?—
No eyes where forests gleam with myriad dyes?
No harps where every air is melody?—
Are there no songs where every voice is free?
List, O my muse! amid the jargon dire
Of screeching voice and worse than tuneless lyre;
'Mid all the din which racks our addled brains,
I hear the rippling rivers of sweet strains:
I hear where, trembling through the leafy glen,
The poet's soul talks melody with men:
I feel when Bryant—in his dreamy youth—
Anoints my heart with loveliness and truth:
I thrill with Halleck's ancient clasp of fire,
And bow my heart to “Harvard's” earlier lyre;

The reputation of Longfellow (to whom allusion is here made) will rest more upon the merits of his early and less pretending lyrics, than upon the “Golden Legend,” or even “Evangeline.”


While clarion sounds that swing beneath the stars,
And crashing thoughts, like battling scimitars,
Roll round me from the mighty harps of those
Whose songs are victories over Freedom's foes.
Well, well! it may be that, amid the masses
Who in our journals write themselves down asses:

164

It may be there exist some score or better
Of bards as well in spirit as in letter.
With these I've naught to do—or, if I scan them,
To prove they've brains, it needs be I trepan them.
I come here as a CRITIC—as a SATIRIST—
And if I argue right or wrong, whose matter is't?
“Norfolk! we must have knocks!”—so, who's not equal
To the encounter, may regret the sequel!
Poetry has its “amateurs”—who wile
Their listless leisure with the muse's smile;
Who simper sweetly in a Milton's tongue,
And lisp the lofty themes that Homer sung:
Merely for pastime—really but in sport—
To “try the hand”—or “keep it in”—in short,
To show that if their own fame they had built on,
Homer had superseded been, and Milton.
Our country swarms with bards who've “crossed the water,”
And think their native land earth's meanest quarter.
Bards who have heard the gondoliers sing Tasso,
Seen Arabs eat, and Indians throw the lasso;
Bards who have travelled, and of course must know
All sorts of flowers that on Parnassus grow.
Your “graceful poets” these—your “versifiers,”
Whose garlands are all roses and no briers;

165

Who steam to Havre—take the Rhone or Rhine;
Ascend Mont Blanc half-way—then stop and dine;
Muse (just like Byron) on the Bridge of Sighs;
Quote Rogers freely; prate of golden skies;
Eat maccaroni; ask where “Peter's keys” are;

It is currently reported that a question like this was propounded by a well-known travelling “litterateur,” after having been shown through the Vatican.


Find out what's meant by “dead as Julius Cæsar;”
Take notes (on railroads) of the towns they ride through,
(Until they get the “Traveller's Pocket Guide” through,)—
Then home return, and (may the gods forgive them!)
Print books whose leather shall at least outlive them.
These good men are not dangerous—no! far from it,
Though each esteems himself a star or comet.
And, faith, their muse describes eccentric orbits,
As if her Pegasus had need of jawbits;
With foreign airs their sales are best inflated;
Puffs are they sure of who with wind are freighted;
Truly your travelled bard is fortune's favorite—
He sees the world, and makes the public pay for it.
The Public—huge, half-reasoning, like an elephant,
Of its own good is half the time irrelevant;
It takes on trust a book that Griswold

Rufus Wilmot Griswold, D.D. LL.D. The world is indebted to this distinguished bibliopole for the celebrated compendium of classic verse known as “Griswold's Poets and Poetry of America.” The work is, I am told, still extant.

edits,

And quarterly reviews like gospel credits;
It hath an ostrich maw, and can digest
Sticks, stocks, and stones, and all with equal zest;

166

It seeks like mad the “trial” of some bishop;
For Harper's pictured “Bible,” throngs it his shop;
Swallows “John Donkey's” sad attempts at humor,
And thinks Frost's books as wise as those of Numa.
But revenons à nos moutons—that's sheep
Return we to our—bards—who've crossed the deep:
Our travel-poets—whom we well may call so,
For he who reads their travels, travails also;
Our cognoscenti, whom we all should follow,
As cousins-german to the real Apollo;
Whose muse, in corkscrew curls and boddice waist,
Waltzes or polks, by finger-tips embraced;
While, with her nose retroussée and most haughty,
She lisps—“Now, Mister Writer, don't be naughty!”
What time Nat. Willis, in the daily papers,
Published receipts of shoemakers and drapers;

Nathaniel Parker Willis will occupy no small space in the literary and social history of his time. He calls himself “the best abused man in the country,” and has managed to figure extensively in poetry, gossip, libel and divorce suits-at-law, journalism and—snobism. The printing (en masse) of his tradesmen's bills, (when accused of non-payment of them,) was a stroke of advertising which certainly merited a receipt in full. Beau Brummel could have run another score on the strength of it—but genius is sometimes unequal.


What time, in sooth, his “Mirror” flashed its rays,
Like Barnum's “Drummond” on the Broadway gaze;
When lisping misses, fresh from seminaries,
Worshipped “mi-boy” and “brigadier”

Willis published a daily paper, called, “The Mirror,” (in a street near Barnum's Museum and Drummond Light,) in which himself and partner (G. P. Morris) were affectedly distinguished as “mi-boy” and “brigadier.” The “Mirror” is still printed—but is now little read, and less esteemed.

as lares;

When youngsters mad—(scribendi cacoëthes)
Found that Castalia's stream was drugged like Lethe's:
Then Bayard Taylor

J. Bayard Taylor is a noted traveller, poet, lecturer, and one of the editors of the N. Y. Tribune. His infant muse was dry-nursed by Willis, and cradled in “The Mirror,” after which he accomplished a pedestrian tour over Europe, and wrote a book called “Europe seen with Knapsack and Staff,” (rather singular mediums of vision.) George Washington Dixon, the literary-musical-pedestrian, has walked more miles than Taylor, but not with such profit to himself. Since printing his last batch of “Travels,” Taylor has subsided into a lecturer, retailing his dollar books in two-shilling readings—a plan shrewdly beneficial to public and author. As a lecturer, Bayard is as good as Greeley, and Greeley is the worst in the country.

—(protegé of Natty)

Dixon-like, “walked” into the “literati;”
And first to proper use his genius put,
Like ballet-girls, by showing “Views a-Foot.”

167

Taylor's a pushing and industrious youth,
And so deserves—that I should tell the truth;
I wish him well, and own that I'm not sorry at
His premium hit, as Barnum's poet-laureate;

Taylor was the winner of a prize of $200 offered by the noted P. T. Barnum (showman) for “the best” song to be sung by Jenny Lind.


(I wish all bards might win reward so aureate)—
If the high station suits his muse, why let it—
And for the prize—I'm glad that he did get it!
Taylor's a youth of promise and good sense,
But for his genius—“it's no consequence!”
He'll do to oscillate (when the air quite still is,)
'Twixt Horace-Greeley and Mæcenas-Willis.
His “knapsack” yarn, however, is worth unravelling,
By all who'd learn the cheapest modes of travelling:
'Tis snug, as down the glorious Rhine one floats,
To know one's passage only costs ten groats;
'Tis nice, while viewing St. Peter's, to be told I
Can get good buttered buns for just two soldi;
So Taylor's muse presents a physiognomy
Invaluable—to lovers of economy.
Here's Tuckerman

Of Mr. Henry T. Tuckerman little is known save that he has travelled, and is a critic in matters of “awt.”

—calm, sentimental, placid—

A Roman punch without the strength or acid.
While Taylor cheapens fares and prices lava,
Tuckerman at “La Scala” murmurs “brava!”
A delicate muse is his—genteel, exclusive—
Marvelling, no doubt, why critics are abusive;
'Tis vulgar (as Lord Chesterfield admonished)
To let folks see us startled or astonished;

168

And T., (a well-bred, gentlemanly poet,)
If he has feeling, never lets us know it.
He sees Niagara, and says—“I declare!”
Applauds a thunder-storm, with—“Pretty fair!”
Reads Milton listlessly, with half-closed lids,
(And wonders if the devil wore white kids:)
Likes us to know that he has been to Italy—
Thinks that Vesuvius does eruptions prettily;
Whistles “Il Figaro”—quotes scraps of Dante—
A Yankee transcript of the dilettante.
We have our ballad-poets—(Lord preserve us!)
Song-mongers, sonneteers, and minstrels “nervous.”
When “woodman” Morris wished to “spare that tree,”
Surely no seer's prophetic eyes had he;
Else had he known that blockheads without number
Would from his luckless stock the country lumber;
Smooth, unctuous Morris

Brig. Gen. N. Y. State Militia, Resident-Editor “Home Journal,” Author of “Woodman! Spare that Tree.” Demi-civil and demi-martial, he blends delicately the strength of Catullus with the fire of Wordsworth.

—bard and brigadier—

(Alas! that Morris can't be Moore is clear;)
A household poet, whose domestic muse
Is soft as milk, and sage as Mother Goose;
Whose lyrics (sought for with a kind of rabies,)
Like “Sherman's Drops,” are cried for by the babies.
Ah! luckless bard! why did his hydra-blood
Raise from our soil so fierce a ballad-brood?
Why are the hapless men of music-stores

Our American music-publishers are noted for printing the veriest trash in the shape of verse. They “never mind the words,” so that the requisite jingle be preserved—and the requisite economy; for more penurious fellows than are some of these might seldom be met. Many a dollar do they realize by the sale of poetry for which the poor author never received a penny. Let them “adapt” this verse, which is furnished gratis:

O Walker, Hall, and Fiot,
O music-selling trio,
For ballads furnished free, O
Sing jubilate deo!

Dogged by a race of Yankee troubadours?

169

Why is the yardstick slighted for the lyre—
The pestle melted by poetic fire?
Our watchmen's sleep disturbed by vocal woes,
Guitar'd, catarrh'd, by red-haired Romeos?
Why, but because each whining snob has learned
How feet are measured and how tunes are turned;
Cipher with tropes his master's ledger spoils—
Snip puts to press his sonnets as he moils;
Crispin with thread poetic waxeth strong,
And Chip, who chiseled wood, now chisels song;
And all because—(forgive, O dread Apollo!)
Where Morris leads, Tom, Dick, and Hal must follow;
Aping his strain, with throats all cracked and wheezy,
“If Morris sings,” cry they—“sure, singing's easy!”
'Tis said that to another pen belongs
The authorship of Morris's best songs;
But sure am I, no charity's in this—
For, if he's not the author, some one is;
Matters it little who incurs the name—
Poor human nature suffers still the same!
Some one first led (to set our rhymesters crazy)
This dance—(or morris-dance, or not, is hazy;)
Some one cried “Besom!” and, behold! the word
A thousand watery fiends from slumber stirred;
Till now, alas! (as in the German fable,)
To stop the flood no human power is able.

170

We have our Dramatists—but oh!—since “Brutus,”

“Brutus, or The Fall of Tarquin” by John Howard Payne, the author of “Home, sweet Home,” is one of the very few plays by Americans that have become stock-pieces through their own merit. “Spartacus,” “Metamora,” and “Jack Cade” all owe their popularity to Edwin Forrest, the actor, for whom they were written.


Though hard the wretched tribe have striven to suit us—
Though “Spartacus” shall split the groundlings' ears;
Though “Metamora” scowl at crowded tiers;
And Kentish Aylmere win the plaudit long—
There's naught to brag of in our tragic song.
Though Boker bores with well-intentioned plays,
And Mathews tries to please five hundred ways;
Though Sargent, Willis, and the martial Reid,
(And Lord knows how many of lesser breed,)
Have socked and buskined through the five-act folly,
Their jokes are wept—and jeered their melancholy.
I trust in Uncle Sam—believe in dollars—
Believe in mad dogs and phonetic scholars:
Believe in Sheba—she of David's bath, whose
Lord was slain—believe in Corny Mathews,

Cornelius Mathews, nicknamed “Puffer Hopkins,” (from a novel with that title, of which he was the unhappy author,) wrote two plays, “Jacob Leisler” and “Witchcraft,” both produced by Murdoch, the tragedian, and both played with equal success, i. e. none at all. But Mathews has always shown himself a staunch advocate of the necessity of an “International Copyright Law,” and for this (if for no other merit,) deserves the good will of American authors.


And more than this, believe that he called “Puffer,”
Than those who laugh at him is ten times tougher.
Though Murdoch, rash, but doubtless patriotic,
Damn'd native plays in preference to exotic:
Though “Witchcraft” saved not hapless Puffer's name,
And “Jacob” built no ladder for his fame;
Though adverse fates foredoom his best intents,
And even his hits are chalked as accidents,—
Yet I'll maintain, with all my heart and will,
That Mathews means well to his country still;

171

Mayhap booksellers are his worst revilers,
Mayhap he's barked at by those curs, “compilers;”
Mayhap the hate of critic hacks he bears,
Because his egotism beats even theirs;
Yet for their hate, I hate thee not, Cornelius,—
(Faith, for these things I like thee—tanto melius)—
I like thee, spite of all thy damnéd plays,
Thy “weak inventions”—(as King Richard says)—
For truly many a dog who'd bite thy heel,
Has had good cause its honest weight to feel;
I like thee for that thou hast richly flayed,
With good goose-quill, the thin-skins of “the trade;”
And dared amid the yelping pack to stand
For “Author's Rights!”—so, “Puffer!” here's my hand!
Whilome where Schuylkill runs and Delaware,
(And Franklin's statue points to State-House square,)
A bard did write and publish, (hapless doom!)
And chose “Poor Scholar” for his nomme de plume.
He wrote a play—albeit for cash or barter—

It is told of a certain Philadelphia lessee, that he was used to offer to authors, for their plays, “half cash—half truck;” the latter euphonious word signifying merchandize, or “orders” for seats. Certes, one noted manager, who was engaged in the “patent-medicine line,” was in the habit of underlining his bills of the day with quack advertisements, (e.g.)

“Mr. BRUTUS KEAN COOKE, Tragedian, from the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, will appear on Thursday Evening.

Mdlle Rosaletta, the Celebrated Danseuse, on Wednesday Night.

N. B.—A new American Play in rehearsal.

N. B.—The celebrated Hydro-Telestic Pills and Vermifuge Balm, can be had at the Box Office by the dozen, single box, or package.”


And christened it (prophetic name!) “Love's Martyr.”
'Twas played—half-damn'd—and then, in desperation,
The author sealed its doom—by publication;
A thing unwise—all men of sense must say so:
I've had a dozen damn'd—and let them stay so.
Alas! “Love's Martyr!”—long ago departed!
Ne'er lived a healthy man so “broken-hearted:”

172

A six-foot “blighted being,” long he wore
His braided frock-coat buttoned down before.
“One morn they missed him” on the Chestnut pave—
The next his trusting barber 'gan to rave;
The next—but let our Mexic annals tell
How fiercely fought the bard, how long and well;
Till home returned, with modest voice he claimed
To be—of all the brave—the bravest named:
Which being denied, for London straight he started,
Where “Punch” perhaps may print his “Broken-Hearted.”

Mr. Mayne Reid was much addicted to printing a poem called “The Broken-Hearted” in every unfortunate newspaper to which he had access. At last he flung his lost hopes (“Love's Martyr” included) into the Mexican War, from which he returned unharmed, and (perhaps to establish his reputation for boldness) applied for a sword bequeathed by General Jackson to the “bravest soldier of the next war.”


Who's next upon the mimic scene? Ah, truly,
'Twere well, my muse, you come to English duly.
Griswold, whose voice in poetry's oracular,
Whose awful fiat stamps each bard's vernacular,—
Griswold opines that Tom, ycleped “The Rhymer,”
On steep Parnassus yet may be a climber;
And proves, by one most nautical “Ben Bolt,”
That “Donkey John” 's of Pegasus a colt.

Dr. Thomas Dunn English (whom Poe so mercilessly noticed as “Dunn Brown”) is a most incongruous author; has written some of the best and worst things in the language. His touching ballad of “Ben Bolt” is a house-hold song. He was at one time principal writer for a “funny” periodical printed in Philadelphia, called “John Donkey”—the best attempt at a “Punch” that our dyspeptic jokers ever perpetrated.


I'll not deny—for they may read who run—
That by Dunn English is the English done;
His “Bolt” may bar Griswoldian criticism,
But I must scan him through a satire's prism;
So without gloves, this surly Tom I'll handle,
And hope, at least, “the sport is worth the candle.”

173

Our “Rhymer's” critic-lash, in sooth they tell us,
Cuts like a knout—(i' faith my muse grows jealous;)
Surnamed “The Bitter” he—his threatening growl
Greeting young Orpheus like a Cerberus-howl—
(Young Orpheus fresh from college or the counter,
With harp in hand to catch a muse and mount her:)
A critic he, whose “cut-and-slash” is mighty;
A bard, whose flights it must be owned are flighty;
A dramatist, whose tragic muse has flitted
Proud o'er the pit—but only to be pitied!
I pr'ythee, Tom, what mill supplies thy paper?
What gas-house furnishes thy “midnight taper?”
Hast thou Briareus' arms, or, with antennæ,
Dost grasp a thousand pens, to turn a penny!
I heard a speech to-day—'twas English wrote it,
The journal's leader—they from English quote it;
I bought a book—Dunn English on the cover;
I sung a song—lo! English as a lover!
Lawyer, and doctor, farmer, bard, and playwright,
O, motley Tom! in one thing, pr'ythee, stay right!
Waste not thyself pursuing shadowy vapors;
Cut not thy real work—but cut thy capers!
Shape for thy Future's years some work whose might
Shall mock the tasks which now thy powers invite;
Strike the brave harp for man—or break its strings;
For Heaven hears only when a full heart sings.

174

Here's Byron-Boker, with a “sweet mustache:”

Mr. Geo. H. Boker, (prænominated “Byron” by his friend Willis,) author of “Calaynos,” “Anne Boleyn,” “The Betrothal,” etc. “Calaynos” was acted at Sadler's Wells, a third-rate London playhouse, whereat our critics (as in duty bound) acknowledged its merits. Boker has genius, but inclines to the American “lake school” of Tennysonian imitators. Like Bayard Taylor, he cultivates liberally a delicate hirsute attraction—a high recommendation; for it is reported that when the last-mentioned “walking-gentleman” lectured at Kalamazoo, (Mich.,) a lady was asked her opinion of the performance; to which she replied naïvely, “Oh! it was excellent! he has such a sweet mustache!”


Be careful, pen! attempt no combat rash!
Else, with a rage that shall o'erwhelm e'en yours,
Boker may, Byron-like, review reviewers.
Yet, in good sooth, perhaps for Boker's sake,
'Twere well to rouse the lion with a shake;
Byron, when flogged, eschewed his schoolboy trash;
Who knows but Boker—faith! I'll try the lash.
Now, 'pon my sacred word—'tis with a sigh
I lift the flagellating rods on high;
Like the stern Trappist strike I—though afresh
At every blow, bleed my own tender flesh;
Chastening whom much we love, we can't be mild,
Lest, whilst we “spare the rod,” we “spoil the child.”
Boker's a young man still—he wrote Calaynos,
For a young man 'twas not a crime too heinous:
There's a rich vein of bloodshed running through it—
(The pit at “Sadler's Wells” took kindly to it;)
Next he exhumed—I mean, he took from Hume,
A headless tale of bride and Bluebeard groom;
And last, to show the Public how he braved it,
Brought “The Betrothal” out—and barely saved it.
His verse is well enough—smooth, classic, measured—
(Addison's style is one that should be treasured;)
True, there's no life where art the subject warps,
But, as the crones say, “'Tis a handsome corpse!”

175

Boker of bards is not the first or last:
He's growing—haply, though he grows too fast;
If poets seek the muse's bright empyrean,
They'll first do well to reach the heart's criterion:
Lay their foundation on good rocks—not water;
Then build like Cheops—if they've bricks and mortar;
So Boker—if he'll mind me to the letter,
(I can advise, because I write much better,)
Will tear to shreds his bookish rules, and write,
As Corny Mathews does—with all his might;
Then, if he charm not all the public noddles,
We'll know it is his own fault, not his model's.
Boker's in Philadelphia—Mathew Carey
Sold books in that “Emporium Literary;”
Big newspapers and Ladies' Magazines
Are published there; the markets furnish greens
Much earlier than those of northern cities;
There flourish puffs poetic, and love ditties.
Yet true it is, and that 'tis true 'tis pity,
The pen is penury in Penn's great city;
Songs make a man sans all things—nay, what worse is,
Verse, in an adverse ratio, brings reverses.
Would the poor author live by books, perchance he
Will find that Grub-street is no thing of fancy;
Does he serve Graham? “Graham bread” he shares;
Toils he for Godey? many a goad he bears;

176

Would he the editorial tripod court?
Newspaper columns will no roof support.
Ah! luckless scribbler! wouldst escape a hovel,
Eschew thy muse, and write a “blood-red novel;
Let plot be absent, and let sense run mad—
Let grammar be most villainously bad—
Let Satan's self dictate the moral in't,—
It matters not—some publisher will print.
Stoop from the sunlight, and essay the sty:
Huckster thy genius, and the herd will buy.
Each peddling bookster then will call thee “Nepos,”
And chant thy name in—“Literary Depots.”
Amid the Babel tongues of Philadelphia
There's one young man who always gains himself ear:
By dint of facial brass and mental lead,
(Both mixed with real gold, it must be said,)
He holds his weight among the rhyming race,
Nor yields to many a classic bard his place.
A sporting Zincalo, with boat and beagle;
A rhyming Zincalo, with practice legal,—
One day, as “Harry Harkaway,” he'll shoot you
As many quails or reedbirds as may suit you;
The next, discourse upon the arts or music,
Until he prattles both himself and you sick;
Or till he proves, in every subject pitched on,
That earth boasts one more “admirable Crichton.”

177

“Endymion!” may his pipe still keep its tune!
Endymion-Hirst, who sleeps beneath the moon;
With “Blackstone” pillowing his majestic head,

Henry B. Hirst is a lawyer in decent practice,—so his literary vagaries may not be seriously detrimental to his purse; he is counted a “dead shot” in the sporting line, is a bird-fancier, amateur florist, and might be famous as a politician; dabbles in metaphysics, sometimes spoils canvas, and has modelled some exquisite lay-figures in poetry; thinks himself remarkably like Shakspeare, and is—for aught I know to the contrary. If I style him “Zincalo,” my sense is “Pickwickian,” and not personal.


That head which, all unlike his works, is red!
Time was when, dormant in the stripling's breast,
Trochee was silent—mute was anapæst;
Time was, ere luckless Helicon he drank,
When all his verses, like his briefs, were blank;
His thoughts unnumbered, noteless still his time,
And dull-set as his voice his dulcet rhyme;
But chance, or circumstance, or whimsic fate,
By curious accidents makes mortals great;
And thus it chanced, or came to pass, in sooth,
That Sully painted “Shakspeare in his Youth;”
With “hyacinth hair” and beard of amber hue,
Expansive brow, and eyes half-brown, half-blue.
Hirst was an amateur in painting then,
And Sully's picture met his critic ken;
The young man murmurs, starts, and rubs his eyes:
Egad! the portrait takes him by surprise;
The brow he marks—the amber beard he sees:
“Shakspeare and me

A grammatic expression peculiar to the author of “Endymion.” As one illustration out of many, see a Poem of Mr. Hirst's entitled “Valley of Repose,” in which occurs the following line:

“My bride and me shall kneel and humbly pray.”
(he cries) “are like as peas!”

In truth, “'twas passing strange,” the stripling thought,
Such “counterfeit presentment” here was wrought:
Endymion's embryo—Avon's mighty bard—
Which sat to Sully, faith, to tell was hard.

178

Pregnant, no doubt, of some tremendous fame,
One's hair was red—and t'other's much the same;
That lofty brow—that nose—“By all the Nine!”
Cries Hirst, “His locks are hyacinth—so are mine!
If thus kind Nature marks her duplicate,
Egad! I'll take to poems, and be great:
I'll write till none shall know which bard is which,
Shakspeare may die—but there's a vacant niche;
And—” Lo! Parnassus heard the dread resolve:
Hirst lives!—the Future will his fame evolve!
This satirizing's tedious—though I force not
The reader to endure it—Oh! of course not!
I'm satisfied they'll read it whom I quiz,
And those not named will read to see who is:
Be glad, then, friends, whose genius is not known—
Be glad my work's not still-born like your own;
Since through my potent pen you'll gain, in verity,
Mention at least in most remote posterity.
Posterity! the race of fools and dummies,
Who'll crowd the Future with the Present's mummies;
Who'll read my books, and hundreds worse than mine,
And swear each mouldering author was divine;
While in their very midst—unknown or spurned—
Dwell mightier minds than all the Past inurned.
Posterity—I count your praise and blame,
For all the good they'll do me, much the same.

179

You'll give ten dollars for my autograph;
(Which now in Wall street will not bring the half;)
Yet even this tribute should not make me vain—
Great Barnum's signature may twenty gain!
Oh, golden goal! Oh, prize to fire the soul—
Posterity may all the Smiths enrol!

Prophetic line! Alexander (the Great) Smith has since loomed upon the world.


Now will plump Platitude, with pitying smile,
Point me to history's teeming minster-aisle—
Show me the tombs and effigies of men
Who wrought their memories with the glorious pen:
With magpie glibness prate each deathless name,
And cry—“Behold! Posterity and Fame!”
Oh! bitter jest, that marks with marble lie
The lowly earth where genius sank to die;
Oh! mocking sympathy, which shrines the dead,
Yet spurns the living with unheeding tread.
Great Heaven! could Intellect its wrongs disclose,
Vain, vain the gauge that measures mortal woes!
All sighs, all tears, were powerless to declare
The almighty griefs which one poor soul may bear.
Behold! the Athenian sage his hemlock drains,
And, mark! the Roman opes his withered veins;
Lo! from the Pisan's breast how torture chokes
The lie, which straight his stouter soul revokes!
Look, where Geneva mocks a martyr's cries,

If Servetus, Seneca, or any of the martyrs to an idea, could have been consoled by the certainty that their thoughts would survive them, the bed of torture might have seemed a couch of roses. While Hope sustains Genius, she is invulnerable: Despair is her agony and death-travail.


Or Smithfield's flames in lurid horror rise!

180

Behold!—yet vainly, by the gleaming axe,
By galling chains, by dungeons, fagots, racks,—
Vainly ye strive to measure or reveal
A passing shade of what the soul can feel.
'Tis not the drug that tortures Socrates—
His faith o'erthrown, his teachings lost, he sees!
Weak are the chains on Galileo's frame,
To those which sink his honest soul in shame!
Monarchs may lose their thrones, yet life retain:
Genius dethroned ne'er lifts her brow again.
O Mind! immortal in thy suffering!—Heart!
Which of all agony true kindred art!
How would my feeble pen drop bloody tears,
Could it but chronicle the Soul's sad years!
Could it but marshal from their nameless graves,
The helot-host of intellectual slaves;
The unnumbered martyrs to the Titan's fate,
Which dooms to suffering him who would create.
Through the world's desert backward as we turn,
How much of power—of impotence—we learn!
What glorious love is mingled with what lust—
What awful monuments we meet—what dust!
Souls that held heaven within their cherub clasp,
Dragged downwards by an earthly demon's grasp;
And seraph minds, that read the Eternal's throne,
Like shivered stars o'er brooding chaos strown.

181

But hold! I'm far too serious, and must bring
My Phœbus-team demurely to the ring:
The ring where each one treads the other's track,
And Truth, poor Clown, is jeered by all the pack;
Satire, plain satire, is my avocation:
Points are my periods—puns my peroration.
The British critics—be it to their glory—
When they abuse us, do it con amore:
There's no half-way about your bull-dog pure,
And there's no nonsense with your “Scotch reviewer.”
Heaven knows how often we've been whipped like curs,
By those to whom we've knelt as worshippers;
Heaven only knows how oft, like froward chitlings,
Our authors have been snubbed by British witlings;
Our mountains ranked as molehills—our immense
And awful forests styled “Virginny fence;”
Our virtues all but damned, with faintest praise,
And our faults blazoned to the widest gaze!
I find no fault with them—they praise us rarely;
As for abuse—we're open to it fairly;
But faith, it galls me, and I'll not deny it,
To mark our own most deferential quiet:
To note the whining, deprecative air
With which we beg for praise or censure bear;
Shrink back in terror if our gifts they spurn,
And if they smite one cheek, the other turn,—

182

Begging that they'll excuse a patient dunce,
Who, if he could, would offer both at once.
There's no use in denying it—the Yankee
(Though, in the way of business, cute and cranky;
Though true as steel, and quick as any rocket,)
Is seldom keenly touched, save through his pocket.
One war more bloody, even, than dishonest,
We'd scaped, had “Montezuma's Halls” been non est;—
Our Indian raids had ne'er brought shame or glory,
Had not old Plutus whispered, “territory.”
And many a wrong, I'll wager, would be righted;
And many a right would have its wrongs requited;
And many a truth from error's cloud would flash,—
Could we be sure such things would “pay,” in “cash.”
But, as regards our books, and those who make them,
For all our country cares, the de'il may take them;
Matters it little to our sapient statesmen,
What power annihilates, or what creates men;
So that with “congress prog” you duly ply 'em—
“Gin gratis—and eight dollars each per diem.”

This is a portion of a lampoon which some Michael Steno, who had not the fear of greatness before his eyes, wrote on the doors of the Senate-chamber, at Washington, on a certain occasion when Congress had adjourned to attend the races.


Now, by my troth!—if these same legislators
Were called, point blank, a set of heartless traitors;
Willing to sell their country's fame for fat hire,—
They'd doubtless cry, “You lie!”

An expletive unfortunately too familiar in congressional debate.

to this, my satire.

Yet, if they sleep and snore, whilst, unawares,
The enemy in our goodly field sows tares;

183

If watch nor ward they keep upon our borders,—
Pray, can they well be called efficient warders?
How, then, if broadcast, o'er our land reprinted,
Books of all climes are strown with hand unstinted;
Books such as sap our freedom's dearest life,
Books with the cant of kings and Jesuits rife;
Books such as virtuous wives would blush to name,
Books that destroy a maiden's sense of shame!
How, then, if on the plastic mind of youth,
Falsehood is grafted in the place of truth;
False taste infused—false views of right and wrong,
False love, false law, false sermons, and false song!
Far be it from me to say that all these ills
Flow from the poisoned points of foreign quills;
Far be it from me to shield, from righteous scorn,
The race of blackguard authors native-born;
Wretches, who, ghoul-like, feed on carrion clay,
And scent a crime as vultures scent their prey;
Whose leprous minds can track a felon's course,
Or trace a harlot's vices to their source;—
Scarce can these men demand my reprobation:
Thank heaven! their labors are their own damnation.
I say, not, then, that foreign pens alone
Inflict the moral wrongs 'neath which we groan;
But, tell me, ye who do our thinking for us,

184

(Whom ballot-boxes kindly station o'er us;)
Tell me if evils, such as represented,
Might not, by timely laws, have been prevented;—
Tell me if Paul de Kock, or Sue, or Sand,
Would e'er have gained a foothold in our land,—
If ribald wit, or senseless atheism,
Could e'er have charmed us with delusive prism;
Had our good Yankee “publishers at sight”
Been forced to buy “the author's copyright!”
Why has our yellow-covered literature
Poured o'er the land its influence impure?
Why, but because 'twas “cheap”—its profits sure!
Why was the infamous De Kock translated,
And cast abroad with rankest poison freighted?
Why, but because our booksters “speculated!”
On what? On manners, morals, virtue, sense!
Souls might be lost—but booksters turned their pence!
Oh, Justice! why are still thine altars rotten?—
Could Intellect protected be, like cotton,—
Could Mind beget per cent., like capital,—
Then might we be what else we never shall;
Then would our heaven-appointed “men of letters”
Be freed from iron Want's degrading fetters;
Then might the thoughts of noble souls illume
The poor man's hut, the rich man's drawing-room;

185

While, from the light its filth could ne'er endure,
Would shrink our “yellow-covered literature!”
But, ah! while Bulwer, Dickens, James, or Jerrold,
Costs scarcely more than Bennett's “double Herald;”
How can we hope our country's mind to nourish,
Or look for Yankee literature to flourish?
Oh, “Yankee literature!” Oh, tripe! Oh, treacle!
What can I say our publishers to tickle?
How shall I make my humblest, prettiest bow,
To deprecate their rage, and 'scape a row?
O, Harper! mayor! temperance-man! church-member!
Our household-prop! our hearth-stone's brightest ember!
What could we do without thy mammoth presses?—
Thy Grub—no! Cliff-street's hasty-pudding messes!
'Tis not his fault—(I clear friend Harper of it,)
That foreign books are cheap, and pay a profit;
He did not hire Dumas, or Paul de Kock,
To jest at truth—at decency to mock;
A publisher who'd mend his country's morals,
With his own bread and butter madly quarrels.
He's not to know what books work ill or well—
The question he must ask, is—“will they sell?”
And if to-day he prints a moral libel,
To-morrow squares the account—he prints a bible!

186

And here, O Virtue! which art daily shamed—
O Honesty! which scarcely now art named,
O Truth! which art the veil of direst wrong,—
Give me to plead your cause in this my song!
Shall Foster prostitute a graceful pen,
To “slice up” outcast hags, and outlawed men?
Shall “Buntline” rave, and Wilkes his “pigeons” lure,
And Ann-street's presses swell the common-sewer?
Shall ribald sheets their pandering pimps engage,
While Mose and Jakey prop a crumbling stage;
Shall “these things be,” and yet nor voice nor pen,
Scourge as with snakes the morals and the men?
No! though I loathe the quarry—let me speed
One shaft, at least, against the scorpion breed!
Upas! thy deadly venom hath but the art
To chill the warmth of some poor human heart!
Plague! thou canst blister flesh and torture limb,
'Till the pulse slackens and the eye grows dim;
Simoom! thy blast, swift-scouring o'er the plain,
May fire the blood and scorch the withering brain!
But ye are bounded in your fearful power—
Your field the limits of life's little hour;
Trembles your empire on each fleeting breath:
Your pangs, your perils, have their term in death!
Not so the Upas of a venal Press!
The Plague—the Simoom—of licentiousness;

187

Weak is the death to mortal sense confined—
That only kills which kills the immortal mind!
Poison and Pest can but the clay control—
An impure Press hath power to slay the soul!
O matron! kneeling by thy slumbering child,
Dare not to hope his mind is undefiled!
List! in his restless dreams his thoughts betray
What books he reads, by stealth, from day to day;
Hush! is it “Crusoe” from his lips that falls?
No! “Ellen Jewett”

The “Life” of this wretched woman is one of the least objectionable of the class of books alluded to; the life of a courtezan murdered by a libertine. A sad comment upon public taste, that such works should command extensive sale!

his sleeping sense recalls.

O, maiden! speak! why now that volume crush
Beneath thy pillow?—why that conscious blush?
Fearest thou the book may shame a mother's eye?
God help thee, maiden! there is danger nigh!
And ye who pander—ye, whose reeking souls
No love refines—no law nor shame controls;
Ye on whose tongues the words of virtue dwell,
While in your hearts distil the dews of hell!
Ye moral scavengers—who drag each sink
For food—whose hearts are blacker than your ink;—
Tremble! the crimes which ye to strength have nursed,
Shall, through your children, make you doubly cursed!
Avaunt the theme! O Pegasus the skittish!
Return we to our critic friends—the British;
The British, whom our universal nation
Whips each July-the-Fourth, in loud oration:

188

The British, whose worm-eaten statutes rule us,
Whose precedents decide—whose models school us;
Whose nod we bow to—whose award we fight for;
Whose stamp our actors seek—our authors write for.
True, we have beaten Bull in many a battle—
But then Bull beats us in his Durham cattle;
True, we have plucked from him old Neptune's trident,
But then his “Punch” can give our ribs a sly dint;
So, though we could with greatest ease outstrip her,
His lugger makes a tender of our clipper!
I'm far from wishing, fellow-bards! to plague you,
But, faith! 'tis fun to note your Anglo-ague;
To see you march, manœuvre, crawl, or leap,—
Dance or lie down, sing, curse, pray, laugh, or weep;
Just as the wires, which rule your changes antic,
Are pulled by merry-andrews transatlantic.
I must not laugh—no! I'll espouse your quarrel!
(Heaven knows ye can't afford to lose one laurel!)
They say, (a wicked libel this of course is,)
They say ye steal, O bards! from British sources.
'Tis monstrous! what! shall British critics prate
Of plagiaries—and say we imitate?
Who dares assert that Keats was read by Hirst,
Or “Tibia” by his Mother well was nursed?
Who so fool-hardy as to hint that Moore
Wrote Huffman's

Charles Fenno Hoffman, the “Echo” poet.—

melodies ten years before?


189

Who says that Sargent

Epes Sargent, the “Transcript” poet.—

strips Corneille's poor “Cid?”

That Benjamin

Park Benjamin, the sonnetteer.

in Camoens once was hid?

That Emerson,

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the Sage.—

like Coleridge, reads the Germans,

And Dawes's

Rufus Dawes, the Clergyman.—

poems sound like Taylor's sermons?

Who says Lunt's

George Lunt, author of “The Age of Gold.”—

lead with Byron's gold was soldered?—

That Wordsworth dribbles through meandering Stoddard

R. H. Stoddard, youngest of the American Lake School.


Or who affirms that Harvard grants its benison

The Cambridge poets, and their imitators, are ineffably Tennysonian.


To those alone who canonize Saint—Tennyson?
I've mentioned Read:—his song is very sweet—
Poetic milk for those who baulk at meat.
I've heard his puns full oft use common sense ill,
And had my likeness taken by his pencil;
Soft “T. B. R.”—the “Tibia” of our wits—

The initials of Read's name, “T. B. R.” have been laid hold of by classic wags, and the joke contributes not a little to the poet's reputation.


Whose delicate muse on fairy footsteps flits;
The “Doric” Read, who in his paint-shop woos,
With dainty food, his sentimental muse;
Tempts her with titbits from a thousand “marts,”

I have distinguished this last word by quotation-marks, inasmuch as it has been so often used by Read, in his poems, that I conceive he has earned a pre-emption right to it.


The tongues of nightingales and cuckoos' hearts;
Trembles, and faints, and dies, in every line,
And draws the web of fancy—superfine;
Paints a new blush upon the damask rose,
And o'er its leaves some rare patchouly throws;
Tears off the G string from his pretty harp,
And strikes the flat notes rather than the sharp:

190

Fearful of falls, his wings he would control,
And doffs the Spartan for the Sybarite soul.

If the Sybarite was incommoded by a rose-leaf placed under his couch, I fear my young friend “Tibia” will hardly relish the levity with which the satirist alludes to his mimosa-like genius.


God made the Poet for his instrument:
His harp, his heart, are never given—but lent;
And all that heaven requires, for rental-fee,
Is to give harp and heart their natural key.
Tibia! thy song is like thy body—little:
They fame, I fear me, like thy genius—brittle:
Wouldst thou be honored? drop thy quibbling quill,
Eschew thy love, dove, dart, and daffodil;
Fling 'mid the stars thy songs, if bard thou art,
Or sink them in the wondrous human heart:
Then mayst thou soar among the immortal few—
In spite of satires—or the “Whig Review.”

The “American Review” criticised Read with great acrimony—and injustice.


Speaking of stars, attend, O muse most pliant!
To our acknowledged loadstar—Mister Bryant!
Whose light I've viewed with reverential deference,
As far as earliest school-boy dates have reference;
Whose flights I've marked as most etherial things,
Sure that he used no Cretan's waxen wings;
Whose shrine I've knelt at, in true orthodoxy,
Certain the bard was Dan Apollo's proxy.
My fingers tremble, and my pulse grows faint;
Awful the task of noonday sun to paint!
Fain would I praise this laureate of our nation,
Were not all praise but supererogation;

191

He is so fixed a fact—so constellated,
Like bankrupts' debts, he can't be overrated:
His name's a sad sponsorial misnomer—
Had nature spoken, he'd been christened—Homer.
What time our presidential politics
Count game much less by honors than by tricks;
When Rynders wields, like Hercules, his “club,”

The “Empire Club,” a political organization of New York, was long swayed by a notorious bar-room politician, called Captain Rynders.


And social Greeley peeps from cynic tub,—
Then Bryant—poet-laureate—nature's boast—
Treads the old party-lines, from Post to Post;

William Cullen Bryant, the poet of nature, is likewise editor of the “New York Evening Post,” a staunch partizan journal, devoted to the democratic side of politics.


New-nibs his pen to brand new truth as schism,
And damns all isms, but safe conservatism.
Now, by my modesty! I like friend Bryant:
But as a man I like him—not a giant!
I like his landscapes—mountains, woods, and copses,
And freely own, he's “death on” Thanatopsis;
But, with due deference, I can see no justice
In making him a classical Procrustes;

The coolness with which the old robber lopped or stretched his hapless guests, to proportion them to the dimensions of his iron-bedstead, was not a bad ante-type of that modern sang-froid which would reduce all orders of genius to a standard medium. When will the world come to Mrs. Malaprop's conclusion respecting “comparisons?”


And lopping hapless bards of heel and head,
To fit them for his gas-inflated bed.
I thank him kindly for his blankest verse;
(I've seen much better—but I've seen still worse;)
I bless him for his homœopathic stanzas—
His apophthegma, clear as Sancho Panza's;
I'll own, in fact, he's Brobdignagian—but,
Just so was Gulliver—in Lilliput!

192

Yet will I grant that he a new Antæus is—

The classic giant's name affords me a good rhyme.


But, “gracious! Max!”—no apotheosis!
In the old time—the time that never tarries—
We owned a bard who sang of Mark Bozzaris:
Bozzaris is no more—and dead is Astor—
I wish the last had ne'er been Halleck's master.

Fitz Greene Halleck, a fine lyrist, and a satirist, of some pretensions, (as his poem entitled “Fanny” evinces,) was during twenty years a confidential clerk of the millionaire, J. J. Astor, who, at his death, bequeathed the poet an annuity. For some unexplained reason, Halleck long ago abandoned the harp which he often struck with true bardic fury.


Trade, like Medusa, turns the heart to stone,
And jarring sounds destroy the harp's sweet tone.
Figures our bard still hath, but tropes I doubt,
Invoices plenty, but no voice comes out.
Bozzaris died by steel, but gold could slay
The man through whom Bozzaris lives for aye;
Astor was mightier than the dreaming “Turk”—
Requiescat in pace—Astor's clerk!
Where is Park Benjamin? In sooth, 'tis wondrous!
He sings not—yet the stones are silent under us!
Where is that bard whose madrigals, in Gotham,
Took root so deep that still the newsboys know them?
Where are his sonnets, and his songs rhapsodical,
That whilome graced each infant periodical?
Once (when a hero none presumed to doubt him)
He failed with journals—now they fail without him;
Once (as a sort of editorial Warwick)
He built up paper thrones—“alas! poor Yorick!”
Where is he now? I'll give—my word upon it—
This book (when finished) for his “last, best sonnet.”

193

Room for our “Lakers!”—O! sweet Windermere!
Surely the winds do waft thine essence here.
List the Home Journal—Fashion's weekly creditor!
We must make room for Stoddard! cries its editor.
Stoddard! we will: if Nat be thine example,
Thou'lt need, in truth, an area most ample:
Room where the banyan-growth of self-conceit
May twine its downward branches round thy feet:
Room where the ghosts of time and talent slain,
Like afreets damn'd,

Afreets (according to Eastern superstition) are evil spirits haunting desert places; once angels, but condemned to suffer for their neglect of high duties.

shall haunt thy desert brain.

If Nat's high patronage thy muse would try,
Room thou wilt have—like Uncle Toby's fly;
But if (in bold reliance on thyself)
Thou layest thy maudlin seniors on the shelf,
If, with the Orphean lute thou fingerest well,
Thou'lt dare the flames of even a critic's hell,—

R. H. Stoddard, like many a young author, has allowed himself to be “coddled” too much, by the literary old women who delight in poetic bantlings. He may yet, however, have nerve enough to follow my advice; though I doubt if Orpheus himself ever attempted so deep or so infernal a descent as the gulf of American criticism; but our young poet is said to be writing a Plutonian epic, and may possibly acclimate himself to caloric before that is finished.


Reckless of Duyckinck

The brothers Duyckinck (two young men of classic attainments) edited for several years a journal called the “Literary World,” a sort of Areopagus, which determined on the claims of sophomoric and blue-stocking authors.

—braving Griswold's doom—

Then may the world award thy genius “room!”
What time some British critic lost his dinner,
Charles Fenno Hoffman was reviewed, (poor sinner!)
To whom he may this peril of his neck owe
I know not—only that they called him “Echo;”

An article, charging Hoffman with plagiarism, imitation of Moore, &c., appeared in an English magazine, whereupon our author printed a collection of his poems, calling it “The Echo”; decidedly a too suggestive title, as it turned out.


And he (to prove such cruel critics wrong)
Published anew a budget of his song.
Ah, luckless man! Had he but burnt—not printed,
He might those wags have nicely circumvented.

194

Alas, poor Hoffman! Griswold thinks his lyrics
Equal to Waller's “richest” songs, or Herrick's!

An “opinion as is an opinion,” by the author of “Griswold's Poets and Poetry of America.” See art. “Hoffman.”


If this be true, O Rufe! which thou assurest,
I hope I'll see of neither bard his poorest.
Ah, Doctor Griswold! I've a shrewd suspicion,
That Hoffman owes to friendship his position:
That some past service may have earned for wages
Your bed-procrustean of some fourteen pages;
In short, that some old friendly claim may owe its
Cancelment to the influence of your “Poets;”
And so our Hoffman, thro' his friendly “Doctor,”
Stands among freshman bards a sort of “proctor.”

A “proctor” is a college officer. I make this explanation, that no malicious reader may seek to discover any sinister allusion to the bard of that name. Hoffman is at least not Barry Cornwall's “Echo”—and never will be.


“Sparkling and bright” is Hoffman's soul, they say,
Where kindly fancies rule with gentle sway;
But that he be, as Griswold's book declares,
A bard with whom no Yankee bard compares:
That, in his puling love-songs, he can thrill
One heart where English sways a score at will;
That all the sparkling fire-flies of his lyre
Can glow like Taylor's “Bison-track” of fire;
That even with Morris (could I say much worse?)
His muse can measure, in domestic verse,—
If in denying these things I'm outvoted,
I leave the matter to—the authors quoted.
“Ah! who can tell how hard it is to climb”
The “Giant's Causeway” of Gothamic rhyme?

195

Once Percival,

James G. Percival gave promise of much greatness; but his muse was evidently too classic for our work-a-day world, and so subsided into common-place.

in classic numbers, swept

The harp which since so sluggishly has slept:
His “Genius waking” first our bosoms stirred,
To mock each after year with “hope deferred;”
And now, “forgetful of his once bright fame,”
He grasps, content, the shadow of a name!
Who shall his mute and stringless harp attune?
Not even thrice-classic Fosdick—or Bethune!

Why these names are juxta-posed is immaterial. W. W. Fosdick is a humorous, pathetic, and bathotic Western writer, who strings his harp with pearls and onions, and mixes metaphysics and metaphor, science and seiolism, into divers palatable dishes of rhyme. George W. Bethune is a clever clergyman, with a talent at making verses.


When Parson Pierpont, in Bostonian pulpit,
Fought like a matador in Spanish bull-pit;
And heedless all of fire-bolts round his steeple,

John Pierpont is extensively known as a prose and poetic champion of cold water. He was at one time engaged in a fierce controversy with his parishioners, many of whom, being interested in the very profitable business of distilling, naturally took umbrage at their pastor's zeal in the cause of temperance. Many futile efforts were made to oust the reverend poet from his pulpit, which I think he held by a life-tenure. I forget how the matter ended, but recollect the steeple of Pierpont's church was twice struck by lightning during the division of his flock.


Bolted cold water at his graceless people,—
Then, rivalling Pierpont, broken hearts to solace,
The charms of “Adam's Ale” were sung by Wallace:

A volume of Cold Water Melodies, written by William Ross Wallace, was printed at Boston in 1840, or earlier. It is a pity that the poet did not continue in the faith of cold water; but, alas! in years past, Gotham has beheld many fine geniuses go down to the grave, victims to their self-indulgence, in spite of every effort put forth to save them.


Sung with most fearful lungs and nerves unshaken,
Till Priessnitz soon for Orpheus was mistaken;
Till cisterns seemed the Muses' penetralia,
And aqueducts the only true Castalia.
O Wallace! “man of ‘Ross!’” not now, as then,
Thy tyro-fingers grasp a feeble pen:
Not now, with lisping love-lays on thy tongue,
Needst thou repeat what haply scores have sung;
Nor studied phrase nor measured strain should bind
The upward soaring of thy natural mind;
No senseless arrogance nor weak distrust
Should cramp thy powers with egoistic rust.

196

Wouldst grasp success? then deem it shame to doubt!
Genius hast thou?—like murder, it “will out.”
If heavenly Phœbus yields to thee his team,
Or if thy muse, like Cutter's, goes by “steam;”

In allusion to a stirring lyric, written by Geo. W. Cutter, a Western poet.


If, fierce as Neal's,

John Neal. of Portland, Me., a bard of acknowledged genius, and much eccentricity.

thy red-hot language glows,

Or softly drips, like milk-and-water Coe's;

Coe is not selected personally as an aqualacteal specimen, but rises to the dignity of a type of his class; i. e. the tuneful choir who contribute to the classic pages of Peterson's and Godey's magazines, and occasionally minister to the necessities of needy printers, by publishing “collections” of their “poems.”


If Griswold shrine thee, or if Graham scorn,

Time was when Graham, of magazine memory, was quite a Mæcenas of youthful scribblers; but, alas! his glory has departed. The triangular duel between himself and Griswold, and the ghost of poor Poe, was the last exploit of Graham.


Be sure that Jove o'ersees the poet-born!
Assert thy claims, though all the critics carp,
Take “heart of grace,” and strike the sounding harp:
If the world laughs, why let the world go hang,—
It laughed and sneered, when glorious Dante sang!
I almost passed by Willis—“ah, miboy!
“Foine morning! da-da!” Faith! I wish him joy!
He's half a century old—in good condition;
And, positively, he has gained—“position.”
'Gad! what a polish “upper-ten-dom” gives
This executioner of adjectives;
This man who chokes the English, worse than Thuggists,

We doubt if any Thuggist, expert though he might be, could ever have strangled an English nabob with more adroitness than Willis exhibits in his constant attacks on the English language.


And turns “the trade” to trunk-makers or druggists;
Labors on tragic plays, that draw no tiers—
Writes under bridges, and tells tales of peers;

Was it “Jottings down in London,” or some other of Willis's gossip, that rehearsed the dinner-talk of English nobility!


His subjects whey—his language sugar'd curds:
Gods! what a dose!—had he to “eat his words.”
His “Sacred Poems,” (like a rogue's confessions,)
Gain him indulgence for his worst transgressions:

197

His “fugitive” attempts will doubtless live—
Oh! that more works of his were—fugitive!
Fate to his fame a ticklish place has given,
Like Mah'met's coffin,

The prophet's coffin is said to be suspended by powerful loadstones at some height from the earth.

'twixt the earth and heaven:

But be it as it will—let come what may—
Nat is a star: his works—the milky way!
“Why so severe on Willis?” Julia cries,
(Who reads De Trobriand in an English guise;)

De Trobriand was a Frenchman, who conducted with much ability the “Revue du Nouveau Monde”—rendered into copious English through the Home Journal; in spite of which it—deceased.


Why so severe? Because my muse must make
Example stern, for injured Poesy's sake.
Not that Nat Willis curls his yellow hair—
Not that his sense can breathe but perfumed air—
Not that he plays the ape or ass, I mourn,—
For ape and ass are worth not e'en my scorn;—
But that, with mind, and soul, and (haply) heart,
He yet hath stooped to act the fopling's part;
Trifled with all he might have been, to choose
The post of—cicisbeo to the muse!
Flung off the chaplet which his boyhood won,
To wear the fool's cap of a “man of ton!”
Not Willis only lash I for the crime—
Through him I strike the bastard tribe of rhyme;
The race o'er whom, in his own native power,
Jove-like 'mid satyrs, might this Willis tower!
O, Art! whose angel presence we have felt;
Whose genial smiles our raptured senses melt:

198

Ah! when thy glorious heart is big with love,
Why do thy chosen children recreant prove?—
Fly from the arms which might sustain their souls,
And plunge from heaven, to grub the earth like moles?
O awful Nature! thou, whose generous blood,
Like the strange pelican's, revives her brood!
Whose life through death still fructifies again,
Moulding from dragons' teeth its arméd men!

I admire the beauty of this classic myth. It is a blessed thing that Nature works out her own beautiful results, through the most unshapely means. Who knows but that the spectacle of a talented man, making a show of himself, may be ordained on the principle which led the ancient Lacedemonians to exhibit an inebriated slave to their children—to disgust them with the sin of drunkenness.


How is thy truth profaned and brought to shame,
When gewgaw fashion props an author's fame;
When mincing phrase usurps the place of wit,
And reason yields to prancing rhyme the bit!
Pause, honest pen! thy fervor makes thee stray:
Pause—ere injustice desecrate thy lay;
Though all Pandora's ills be Poesy's lot,
Hope lingers still—upheld by Freeman Scott!

For the benefit of the ignorant reader, I will state that Mr. Freeman Scott is a poetic Curtius, who threw himself into the gulf of nullification, and (in a Pickwickian sense) saved the country. He wrote a “Song for the Union,” and offered a prize of $50 for appropriate music, to which it was in fact sung, at the great Union meeting of 15,000 unterrified patriots in the Chinese Museum, Philadelphia. He deserves immortality—and shall have it.


O patriot Scott! thy eagle flights I sing,
That top Parnassus, with untiring wing.
No more shall Hopkinson Columbia hail—
Freneau and Paine henceforth are voted stale;
Even Emmons “pales his ineffectual fires,”
For Freeman Scott hath struck the sounding wires.
The “Union saved” his monument shall be—
And all posterity exist—“Scott free!”
Nature's a jealous mistress, and who wooes
Her smiles, must grant her passion all its dues;

199

She hates coquettish airs, but yields her zone
Freely to him who clasps it to his own.
Though Pike

Albert Pike is one of the Western poets who has some claim to merit, though not to the extent claimed by a few of his admirers.

shall bawl for her (unequal odds!)

His most ungodly “Hymns to all the Gods;”
Though Lunt, like Jove with Danäe of old,
Woo her with showerings from his “Age of Gold;”
Though Simms,

William Gilmore Simms has written some passable novels, but is not a poet, and his epic of “Florida” will not live as long as Paradise Lost. However, as very little is known of the work, (which is the case with most lengthy American poems,) perhaps Ponce de Leon's draught may be mixed up with it: so I shall not be positively negative concerning Simms's prospect of immortality.

with Ponce de Leon's madness rife,

Swear that in “Florida” lies endless life;
Though light-horse Street,

Alfred B. Street: who writes up Indian loves and sorrows into metrical tales.

with Indian lasso slack,

Should seek to bind her pillioned at his back;
Though Hosmer,

W. H. Hosmerditto

ambushed in some tangled glen,

Like awkward Pan, would pipe her to his den;
She flies—or, laughing at the daring elf,
Bids Echo answer—while she hides herself!
Yet, haply, Nature gives not all the slip:
Hoyt pilfers kisses from her glowing lip—
Hoyt, who, with wooings so demure and meek,
Secures the fame he scarcely seems to seek;
With quiet curb constrains his champing thought,
Nor gives the bridle even when he ought.
Fearing, like Raleigh, danger if he climb,

Sir Walter's celebrated couplet, and Queen Elizabeth's rejoinder, are so well known that their repetition here is hardly worth the space occupied—nevertheless, it may be as well to say that, on one occasion, the maiden queen observed young Raleigh write with a diamond upon a pane of glass—

“Fain would I climb, but that I fear to fall;” whereupon, (when he had departed,) she wrote beneath—

“If thy heart fail thee, do not climb at all.”


He spoils his native tune by serving time!
'Tis wrong, friend Hoyt! no poet passive lives!
Blows he may bear—but blows he likewise gives.
Thy “Blacksmith” forged true armor for thy breast:

The “Blacksmith's Night,” is one of Hoyt's best poems.


Rise now, and cast thy trenchant lance in rest!

200

Of stalwart hearts the cause of man hath need;
'Twere shame to follow, Ralph! if thou canst lead!
But, lo! a bard of supra-mundane light!
From heaven he hails, and Harris is he hight.

Rev. Thos. L. Harris: quite a noted “medium” among the Spiritualists, who asserts that spirits of departed poets speak through him, (while entranced.) He has already produced two epics, and, as they sell rapidly, I doubt not the afflatus will continue. As fanciful improvisations, Harris's poems might be curious; but as emanations from Dante, Tasso, Milton, (and others of equal pretensions,) they are unworthy of criticism.


Whilome a parson, erst a spirit-seer,
And now prime-laureate of each upper sphere.
No vulgar rhyming-lexicon needs he—
No syntax dull, no tedious prosody;
He shuts his eyes—he opes his mouth—and, lo!
Ten thousand glittering words like water flow:
With planes and spheres, with mystic “threes” and “sevens,”
He chants an “Epic of the Starry Heavens;”—
Or, rather—Dryden, Byron, Alfieri,
(From some transparent lunar luminary,)
With Shakspeare, Dante, Milton, Pope, and Petrarch,
(Each of some solar world the poet-tetrarch,)
Descend—and (as the victims of Phaláris

Phalaris was a Grecian tyrant, who caused a bull to be made of hollow brass, into which he thrust a victim, and then heated red-hot, till the sufferer's groans made the bull seem to roar.


Roared thro' a brazen bull) so sing thro' Harris;
Until the shining lines of Heaven's topography

Harris gives elaborate descriptions of all the appearances of the planets—their mountains, valleys, etc.


(Including manners, customs, and geography)
Are made so plain that we would not a cubit err
In mapping all, from Mercury to Jupiter.
Ah! Thomas! vainly seekest thou to palm
Thy puerile fancies for some seraph psalm;
Thy wild conceits for inspiration calm!

201

Not thine the hand to sweep immortal lyres—
Not thine the song for Love's eternal choirs:
The Spirit's heaven is higher than thy dream—
The Heart's deep plummet sounds a deeper theme.
Thy bungling worship pleases not the Muse,
For hyperborean homage she eschews.
Of human kin, she likes not beings stellar—
In sooth she'd rather kiss plain Tam MacKellar.

Mackellar is a poet of modest pretensions but of much real merit, residing in Philadelphia.


Ho! Lyon! cynosure of fortune's cornea,
And Poet-Laureate of—California!
Bard of “Eureka” and of “Lyonsdale”

“Caleb Lyon of Lyonsdale” is a modern troubadour; penning at San Francisco a lyric for the “Eureka State”—chanting semi-Spanish ballads through South America—apostrophizing Jenny Lind in Gotham, and “stumping” himself into Congress by poetic speech-making in general.


Most “learnéd Theban!” I do bid thee hail!
O Caleb! thou, the brightness of whose star,
Even Bayard Taylor's radiance could not mar;
Whose genius, burning for a deathless fame,
Linked the Pacific with thine own great name,

Among Lyon's achievements must not be forgotten the design of the California State Seal—for which he received $1000 and a place in the “golden archives.” This is even better than being “sung in all the churches,” like General George P. Morris.


What boots it, Caleb! if thy rivals sore
Malign thy “bear,” by calling it a bore?

A “grizzly bear” formed part of the seal-design mentioned above. The Mexicans in California were first defeated by the Americans, under a flag with this device.


What recks thy muse if jealous witlings say
She's mongrel-bred—in Persia and Cathay!

The bard of Lyonsdale is noted for his translations from Hafiz, the Persian, and Souchong-Bohea, (if we quote right,) the Shanghai bard.


They laugh who win, and thou canst sing as well,
And, faith! I think thy prancing rhymes will sell
For just as much (and bring thee thrice the pity)
As if they'd passed, like Taylor's, through banditti.

In his “travels,” while traversing Mexico, Taylor was tied to a tree, and robbed by Mexican footpads. We cannot think that our young Bayard emulated the chevalier “sans peur et sans reproche,” in his Mexican adventure. But all our poets are not expected to be Kœrners; or, perhaps, Taylor's fame (unlike that of Ariosto) had not preceded him among the “moon's minions.”


Speaking of China, or Cathay the old,
(Where each man duplicates his neighbor's mould,)

202

Brings to my mind (a natural transition!)
That town of most Confucian erudition,
That gives “One Hundred Orators” their glory,
And owns that polymathic wonder, Story!

The son of Judge Story; (said to be a miracle of Boston learning.)


China 's the world—her sons are all celestial:
Outside barbarians are no more than bestial;
So Boston, like the ancient land of hyson,
Counts all barbarian beyond her horizon!
Her Whipples out-Macaulay Mac himself—
Her Emersons assign Carlyle the shelf;
Her Everetts, her Brownsons, and her Channings,
Are worth a score of Foxes, Pitts, and Cannings;
In short, her Lowells, Longfellows, and Tappans,
Are good celestials as Chinese or Japans.
No lead can fathom Boston's mental deep;
No alien thought can scale her learning's steep;
No fancy strains to that she does not reach,
And none may learn save haply she shall teach;
Of Fame's broad temple Boston keeps the portal,
And Boston bards alone are dubbed immortal:
Even though her dingy bookstores, it is said,
Are one great sepulchre of “sheeted dead.”
Behold! “Mat. Lee,” the pirate, killed a horse:
The horse came back again—a “spirit-corse;”
And so does Dana,

A new edition of Richard Dana's poems has lately appeared, including “The Buccaneer,” with its “spirit corse,” familiar as of old.

who, for many a year,

On Wiley's book-shelves found a quiet bier.

203

If thus in Boston mummied books are prized,
Great Jove! even Sprague

Charles Sprague, a Boston banker, who, many years ago, wrote a poem, called “Curiosity,” and has ever since been one of Boston's poetic fossils.

may yet be galvanized;

Who knows what prodigies may yet be noted,
Where Peter Parley sings,

Sam. G. Goodrich, the worthy concoctor of children's books, is also addicted to rhyme.

and Fields is quoted;

James G. Fields is one of the partners in the publishing house of Ticknor, Reed and Fields, at Boston. Fields is piquant, quite lakish, and passably clever.


Fields, with his whistle piping forth the throngs
Of bards who wait his judgment on their songs,
As hungry travellers wait for dinner-gongs.
When hawks to melody attune their throats,
Tremble we may for Philomela's notes;
So, when “the trade” essay the Poet's powers,
Well may we fear for this poor trade of ours.
The hapless muse her hard-won myrtle yields,
When bookmen brave her in their barren fields;
When Grub-street practises the gentle art,
And Ticknor claims Apollo's counter-part.
Ah, Jimmy Fields! thy verse I'll not berate,—
Bostonia's Helicon is—Cochituate!

The Cochituate water (as any Bostonian will assure you) is a perfectly innocent beverage.


Why should we mourn, in these teetotal times,
That water-level is the gauge of rhymes?
Rich are thy covers—ink and paper good:
So we'll forgive the inside platitude;
Thy verses sell—else had they not been printed,
Thy brass transmutes to gold as good as minted.
Bookmen in sooth should make the best of bards,
(As faro-bankers hold the winning cards;)
Write, Jimmy! write—for then (I smile to say it)
The bard will get per cent.—the bookster pay it.

204

O Doctor Holmes!

O. W. Holmes has written some very humorous poetry, and is a genial and versatile writer; but he makes execrable puns.

O funny Doctor Holmes!

Out of thy mouth Cochituate fairly foams!
Most glittering froth—until the gas is freed—
But then, alas! a “venerable bead.”
Doctor! I like thee, and admire the zest
With which the world believes that thou canst jest;
Thy puns, like hares, still double as they run,
And track themselves by scenting their own fun;
Till earthed, at last, the jokes o'er which we sorrowed,
The burrowed rabbits seem but rarebits borrowed;
Yet still, remorseless, you our patience try,
And sell your ink to prove our incubi.

For the perpetration of these enormities, I plead in excuse my desire to present the reader with a sample of the doctor's own assortment.


Dear Doctor! take a fool's advice, and make
No more bad puns for shabby Harvard's sake;
And, Doctor—(here a timely hint I'll drop)—
Talk no more science—i. e. “sink the shop!”
Epsom with Attic salt I hate to find;
True wit, 's no drug—so, pr'ythee, scour thy mind!
Leave ganglions to Bell—and pills to Buchan,
And, as Saxe wrote a satire, try if you can.
Do this—do something, or I'm much impressed,
Your “Last Leaf”

Holmes's “Last Leaf” is a poem of decided merit.

will be thought by all your best!

Saxe wrote a satire

John G. Saxe, editor of a paper in Burlington, Vt., has acquired quite a reputation for humour, but is inferior to Holmes as a poet.

—so did Master Lowell,

And so did—others, whom the public know well;
And Saxe is droll, (I say it not at random,)
For Saxe did print—quod erat demonstrandum

205

(No droller thing in all experience lyrical!)
Yea, Saxe did print his poems as satirical!
O Funny Man! wouldst thou to greatness climb?
Twist proper names, and learn to mangle rhyme!
Wouldst thou be famous? make each pun a puff;
Wouldst quoted be?—the path is plain enough:
Be broad as Burton,

W. E. Burton, a theatrical manager and comedian; a graceful writer, but exceedingly coarse in much of his dramatic delineation.

and as Barnum bold—

Make brass your base, but galvanize with gold;
Make friends of editors—to stop their cark,—
Then prig in peace—like Knickerbocker Clark!
Oh! Clark! prince-pauper of the rhyming crew!

Gaylord Clark, of the Knickerbocker Magazine, (though doubtless a very good fellow,) is a most unmitigated eleemosynary object in the way of gratis-contributions, out of which, and Joe Miller, he serves up a monthly olla-podrida of pathos and bathos. He has lately published a volume called the “Knickerbocker Gallery,” made up of articles furnished by authors ambitious of having their interesting faces exhibited to the public in a sort of Valhalla of American genius.


Who lives on “tickle me—I'll tickle you.”
Too light my blade, perchance, at him to lunge,
Whose monthly “Table” is a monthly sponge,
Absorbing authors dead and authors quick—
A Ghoul of letters—living by “Old Knick!”
While genius struggles at starvation's gate,
Smart talent dwells in comfortable state;
While genuine merit scarce a dog attends,
Clark shows a “Gallery” of obsequious friends!
So true, that self-complacent mediocrities
Are more esteemed than Seneca or Socrates.
Does Putnam foster native worth?

Geo. P. Putnam, I verily believe, has endeavoured to act manfully by native authors, and deserves their good-will. Though in speaking well of Putnam, (the man,) I am far from endorsing the vapidity of some later issues of the “Monthly,” since it lost its original editor. As for Harper and his coadjutors, they will, it is to be hoped, find their level before long.

—'tis weakness;

He'll ne'er attain to Knickerbocker sleekness.
Would he get rich?—behold a bright example—
See brazen Harper o'er all justice trample:

206

Behold him cheer his literary hacks on,
To steal from authors, Gallic, Scotch, and Saxon!
O Putnam! gladly does the muse attest
Thy wishes faithful to her high behest!
While mouthing Carey

This is Henry C. Carey, a New Jersey gentleman, who seems to be afflicted with the scribbling Quixotism to a degree which makes him hazard a literary tilt at every sort of windmill.

voids his rheumy spite,

And frothy Raymond

Henry J. Raymond, editor of the New York Times, and Lieutenant-Governor of that State; an uneasy little man, who is continually getting into hot-water. His opposition to copyright is, however, very explicable and excusable, as his partner in the “Times” is one of the “Harpers.”

barks, but dare not bite;

While traitor's stab, and cowards skulk behind—
'Tis thine to battle for thy country's Mind!
Time settles all—and Time will make amends;
For “Authors' Rights” may yet be Putnam's friends;—
When Harper's trade (that's literary theft!)
By righteous laws shall be of shelter 'reft;
And ancient “Knick” remain, (if Heaven chooses,)
A “Lying-in-Retreat” for naughty muses.
Cantab Longfellow!—poet and professor!
Of “Washington's Head-Quarters” sole possessor:
Beloved by booksellers, adored of “sophs”—
Lo! at thy name my muse her bonnet doffs;
Yet, in the mighty name of law, I venture
For debt thou owest the world to make debenture.
Not for the debts thou owest a score or less
Of foreign bards,

Longfellow owes much to his familiarity with European literature—vide his translations and the general tone of his original matter.

who now wear Yankee dress;

Not for thy clippings of old rusty coins—
(Thy head enriches what thy hand purloins;)
Not for thy thought-webs cribbed from monkish looms;
They're better in thy tomes than in their tombs;

207

Thy alchemy has made much gold from lead,
So, “let the dead past bury” all “its dead;”
For ancient wounds let silence be the suture—
I ask a debt thou owest the awful future!
Art and position, Hal! make thee a poet:
If Nature lends her signet, pray, let's know it;
Haply thy Harvard fame immortal seems,
Haply thy name and verse be synonyms;
Yet, if thou wouldst thy proper glory reach,
I say to thee, as Lear says,—“mend thy speech!”
Cast off thy dressing-gown, and gird thy loins—
And learn what Deity on song enjoins;
Thou hast portrayed ideal wrongs and woes:
Now, by my harp! canst real wrongs disclose?
Thou hast drawn tears for miseries long forgotten:
Canst thou find nothing in our time that's rotten?
Oh! that the churchyard Past were ransacked less!
These ghouls, the poets, then might mankind bless:
If the old catacombs were left to moulder,
Gold-mines of thought we'd find ere Pan grew older.
Behold young Lowell.

James Russell Lowell has given more absolute promise, and less fulfilment, than any young bard of our country. A man of genius should be ever on the march, and Lowell loiters too much by the way-side. He should take a few hints from his own “Fable for Critics.”

in whose soul there lies

(Fathoms below where his own vision pries)
A grand new world, of power, of love, of light,
Which yet may flame—a star athwart our sight;
If the dull shocks of life's chaotic wave
Wash not away the orb which now they lave.

208

O Lowell! now sententious—now most wordy—
Thy harp Cremona half—half hurdy-gurdy;
Wouldst thou arise and climb the steeps of heaven?
Sandals and staff are for thy journey given;
Wouldst thou embrace the poet-preacher's lot
Nor purse nor scrip will lift thy steps a jot!
Forth on the highways of the general mind,
Thy soul must walk, in oneness with mankind.
Thou hast done well, but thou canst yet do better,
And, winning credit, make the world thy debtor.
Pour out thy heart—albeit with flaws and fractures:
Give us thyself—not “Lowell manufactures;”
Then shall thy music vibrate through our pulse,
And all thy songs be milestones of results.
But if, in thy true eagle-like aspirings,
The “mousing-owl” of Harvard choke thy choirings;
If, haply, drugged with Tennysonian theme,
Thy genius stoop to dally and to dream;
If—worse than all—fanaticism clods
The song which is Humanity's—and God's,—
Then may no satire of thy being tell!
Then, Lowell! to thy fame “a long farewell!”
Hark! Whittier's sledge

John G. Whittier, despite the sameness of his muse, has won a reputation for strength and boldness which is noticeable enough in this age of puerility. He possesses great vigor of expression, but is often very prolix.

upon the hearts of men

Beats in continual music—“ten-pound-ten!”
Sworn foe of “institutions patriarchal,”
Black ground, he finds, gives gems a brighter sparkle.

209

Lo! how he comes, with earnest heart and loyal,
Flanked by his ordnance for a battle royal;
Swinging a club, might stagger Hercules,
To dash the mites from off a mouldering cheese;
Roaring like Stentor from his brazen throat,
To drown some snappish spaniel's yelping note;
Ah, Whittier! Fighting Friend! I like thy verse—
Thy wholesale blessing and thy wholesale curse;
I prize the spirit which exalts thy strain,
And joy when truth impels thy blows amain;
But really, friend! I cannot help suspecting,
Though writing's good, there's merit in correcting!
Hahnemann likes best “the thirtieth dilution,”

The “thirtieth dilution” is said to be the best proportion in homœopathy.


But poetry scarce bears so much diffusion;
The homœopathic thought (though truth sublime)
Dies, through materia medica of rhyme;
So, Whittier! give less lexicon, and more
Good thought—of which, no doubt, thou hast a store.
Give us, if thou wouldst sing a flying slave,
Just as few bars as he or she would crave;
And if on “Ichabod” thou launchest malison,

“Ichabod” was the caption of a poem which, in no half-way strain, arraigned a celebrated statesman for his reputed backslidings. I regretted this, because, while I hold poetry to be a fitting medium for the promulgation of great truth, defence of humanity, liberty, etc., I hardly esteem it the proper vehicle of equivocal personalities or abusive strictures. The true poet is of no ism nor creed, per se. Whittier is a true poet—but it is not in his negrophilism that this fact is most apparent. James Russell Lowell—ditto.


Make it no longer than two books of Alison.
And further, Whittier! “an thou lovest me,”
Let thy chief subject for a while go free;—
Or else, (how frail “Othello's occupation!”)
When slavery falls, will fall thine avocation!
Living the black man's friend, i'faith, thou'lt die so:
A paraphrase of Wilmot's great proviso!

A political measure, brought before Congress, by a worthy Pennsylvanian named David Wilmot, who was at one time threatened with unpremeditated immortality, but is now totally out of danger.



210

Whittier, adieu! my blows I would not spare,
For when I strike, I strike who best can bear;
Oft in this rhyme of mine I lash full hard
The man whom most I love, as friend and bard;
Even as the leech, inspired by science pure,
Albeit he probe and cauterize—must cure!
Trimountain! long hast thou the Mecca been
Of rhyming hadgees garbed in natural green!
Trimountain! Kaaba—reverently kissed
By Yankee bards—their “blarney-stone” I wist.

Blackstone was the founder of the “Modern Athens.” The Kaaba is a “black stone” at Mecca, held in high veneration by all true Moslems, on whom a pilgrimage to Mecca confers the title of “hadgee,” and the distinction of wearing a green turban. The “blarney-stone” is familiar to the authors who deal much with publishers.


To thee came Peabody

Peabody, a poor poet.—

—to thee came Doane;

Doane, a bishop, and ditto.—


M'Lellan,

McLellan, ibid.—

Pike, and Sprague, were all thine own:

Pierpont and Everett

Everett, very classic, poet of Harvard, Secretary of State under Fillmore, and a poor poet; famous for a nauseous rhyme, viz:—

“For Roman hearts shall long be sick,
When men shall think of Alaric!”
sang for thee their strains;

And savage Snelling

William J. Snelling, author of a pungent satire, entitled “Truth, a Gift for Scribblers,” in which the rhymers were handled without gloves.

flogged them for their pains.

Ah, me! if once thou hadst such magnet skill,
Our bards to sway—I pray thee, use it still!
Wake as of old the three-stringed Yankee lyres,
And sound the pitchpipe of New England choirs;
Ask if John Neal no longer feels the flame
With which he lit of yore the bonfire, fame?
Or heads no more his charging lines, to ride
Booted and spurred through all the country wide?
Time was, when, vocal as his “fierce gray bird,”
In parish schools his shrieking lays were heard;
And embryo poets felt their quickening life,
When “Pierpont's Readers”

“Pierpont's Readers” were school-books much in vogue in New England, and many an urchin have they assisted to his “nine parts of speech.”

woke the classic strife!


211

Mellifluous Pierpont! whose Horatian odes
Were counted heaviest among urchins' loads;
When parsing thee, they saw their trials past,
Nor valued gems so painfully amassed.
Ah! many a gem indeed hath been encased
By Pierpont's industry and Pierpont's taste;—
And many a gem in quiet beauty glows,
(Which Griswold ne'er would venture to disclose,)
Where Burleigh's songs, attuned with placid love,
Rose from his lips to blend with those above;
Where Dawes'

Dawes is now a Swedenborgian clergyman at Washington, D. C.

melodious childhood passed away,

And Woodworth's

Samuel Woodworth was the author of “The Old Oaken Bucket.”

genius framed its virgin lay.

'Tis a coincidence worth special credit,
That Sargent should the “Boston Transcript”

This is a long-established Boston sheet, and, doubtless, well-conducted by the poet, who, however, has been sometimes accused of venial plagiarisms. Sargent is the author of “Velasco,” a tragedy, and at one time edited “The Standard Drama,” a catch-penny republication of English plays.

edit;

Strange the “poetic justice” does not strike him,
(I throw the hint out, as I rather like him,
Because my favorite bards his muse rehearses,)
Of putting “Boston Transcript” on his verses.
Poor man! I mourn his euphuistic grammar,
I mourn “Velasco,” and the “Standard Drama;”
I mourn—but, no! I wish him fame sincerely:
“Athens the modern” dubs her poets yearly;
Perhaps at “Annual Odes” he'll distance Sprague;
Or baffle Emerson with problems vague;—
Perchance, like Pierpont, prove 'tis wrong to tipple;
Or ape Macaulay, like sententious Whipple!

Edwin P. Whipple is a young man, who, by dint of industry and tolerable imitative powers, has become a sort of Boston Macaulay; writes essays, and lectures.



212

O, Emerson! some transatlantic Solon
(As a discoverer, sure, he rivals Colon,)
Has found that in thy brain (commodious quarters!)
Lives all the poesy this side of the waters.

It was asserted by a British Review that Emerson was the only true American poet.


Ah, me! methinks this critic spiritual
Has proved thy favorite creed—that man is dual.
Would that his wisdom might reveal the fact
Of thy Poetic Essence—all intact!
Would that the Heart-Beat of the Awful Whole
Could pulse distinct and gauge thy Breadth of Soul!
Till Sense Incarnate, robed in Suns like Ammon,
Might permeate, and throb through Space—and—gammon.
Speaking of gammon—I destroyed, last night,
(In several vain attempts to strike a light,)
Destroyed, ye gods! a work that would have burst
Like sunlight o'er the world! out-rhyming Hirst—
Out-mouthing Lunt—out-agonizing Emerson—
Out—hold! the idea brings increasing tremors on.
It was a poem upon the softer gender—
Sublime, unique, expressive, touching, tender!
Such adjectives! such nouns! such punctuation!—
Such awful strength! and such alliteration!
In it sweet Edith May, with true abandon,
Was placed some twenty pegs above poor Landon;
Sigourney plucked from Hemans' brow the myrtle,
And Hale was Sappho—with a longer kirtle;—

213

Greenwood was Norton and De Stael united,
And Blessington for Mistress Neal was slighted.
To some nine more I gave the Muses' names,
As Pierson, Swisshelm, and kindred dames.
Alas! that such a poem—on bards so gentle—
Was lost—by conflagration accidental;
Griswold alone, in some bright spirit-flashes,
Can raise this Yankee-phœnix from its ashes.
But, apropos—when poetry's “the fashion,”
Women and men alike must feel the passion:
Verse-writing 's very nice on gilt-edged vellum,
Crow-quilled by some young literary Pelham.
Let women write—their will 'tis useless baulking:
They do less harm by writing than by talking!
Write—write! but oh! I charge each rhyming daughter,
Let not the men purloin your milk and water!
Ho! for the West! the boundless, buoyant West!
'Tis monstrous dull, when poetry's the quest.
Where Mississippi's awful grandeurs roll,
Like an eternal anthem through the soul;
Where tombs of empires rise in endless wo,
Colossal epics of the tribes below;—
Where leaped the Mammoth, with a bound terrific,
From Rocky Mountains to the far Pacific;

For a succinct account of this marvellous leap, vide Hirst's “Coming of the Mammoth.”


Where border-frays, that beat old Scottish forays,
Impromptu duels, and red Indian soirées,—

214

And all that makes the human hair most vertical,
As common-place transactions are assert-ical;

A Willis-ian license.


Sure, in a clime so stirring and romantic,
The muse and Pegasus must both grow frantic.
Frantic! ah, no! the West, with sage reflection,
Confines her muse to pinafore subjection;
And save when Prentice,

George D. Prentice, editor of the Louisville Journal, has written some fine fragmentary poems, which, as “specimen bricks,” make us mourn for the symmetric temple—to which they are not the index.

after hock and soda,

Invokes his song as Fingal conjured Loda;—
Wielding the falchion of his classic wit
To oust the phantoms that around him flit;
Unconscious all, that while, with accents loud,
He wooes his muse, his muse is but a cloud:
And save when Gallagher,

W. D. Gallagher is a Washington clerk now; when an editor, he wrote tolerable poetry.

with trenchant stroke,

Cleaves out a verse as woodmen rend an oak,
And, haply, rising from the flat inane,
Pipes on the airs of heaven a golden strain:—
Save and except, at times, some bulbul notes,
Fresh from a few sequestered maidens' throats,
That sometimes please and sometimes strangely jar,—
I know not where our western poets are.
Not Orton soars to strike the highest chord:
Not Pike nor Patten—nor Legaré nor Lord!
Not even Chivers,

Thos. H. Chivers, M. D., of Georgia, has written some good rhymes, but is haunted by dead poets, and passes his life in an insane attempt to prove that Poe gained his reputation by plagiarizing from Chivers. Let the doctor leave logic, and try to write poetry, which is more his forte than criticism.

from whose virgin muse

The graceless Poe stole all that she could lose,
Unhappy Chivers, whose transcendent lays
Are out of place in these degenerate days,

215

And yet for whom, were half his verses burned,
A poet's fame the other half had earned,—
Ah! not from these, or such as these, shall rise
Immortal song to occidental skies.
When the great Iliad of the sunset land
Is writ, it must be by a Homer's hand:
'Till then, low-brooding through its busy life,
The Western Poem shall be Manhood's Strife!
Loud as the thunders of thy surging woods,
Broad and majestic as thine awful floods,
Deep as thy soundless caves, O mighty West!
Thus be thy song—an ocean in thy breast!
Rest thee, mine Harp! my wearied hand I fling,
With scarce an impulse, o'er each quivering string!
My thankless task hath reached its natural term—
Wisdom its fruit—though Folly was its germ.
Not mine to scathe with bitter jest the heart,
Or reckless launch the slanderer's jealous dart;—
Not mine to prostitute the gift of song,
To wreak revenge for real or fancied wrong;—
Behind my jest no covert malice slept—
From out my praise no inuendo crept:
An honest Anglo-Saxon round of blows
I've dealt alike upon my friends and foes;
And, if I struck full oft within the guard—
Be sure, I might have struck ten times as hard!