The Works of Peter Pindar [i.e. John Wolcot] :: :: University of Virginia Library

The Poet addresses Mr. Richard Gough, the Enfield Antiquarian, on the Subject of the Arrival of a Couple of invaluable Curiosities from Egypt, but of whose Nature our British Antiquarians seem totally ignorant. He predicts a future Batch of Invaluables for our National Museum; and concludes with a Wish that Mr. Gough would contrive to keep the three Parsons awake, who are the grand Curators of the Contents of our British Ark.

O Richard Gough! amid thy Enfield dwelling;
Now o'er a mummy's precious leg or loin,
Devoutly tasting and devoutly smelling,
Now licking an old dish and now a coin;—

O Richard! amidst locks and rusty nails,
Now blinking o'er old farthings, blue and green:
And trumpery, that every month regales
The readers of the Gemman's Magazine;—

Why keepest thou from London far away,
While various wonders of the Nile approach!
O! come and view a treasure then, and say,
‘What greets our eyes—a scorpion or cock roach?’

And haste to view another wonder, Gough,
With rapture are the virtuosi giddy—
Fam'd Alexander's coffin, or a trough
For Egypt's pigs, or Cleopatra's biddy.

To meet each marvel, Antiquarian haste,
Proclaim its quality, that none may doubt it;
With rich sagacity of smell and taste,
To London come, and tell us all about it.

361

Sir Joseph and his virtuoso friends,
Stun with their loud rejoicings, our Museum;
Archbishop, bishop to the wonder bends,
And mean, 'tis said, to order a Te Deum.

Old Nilus writes us, he will search his flood,
And send us his drown'd rarities with pleasure;
Probe ev'ry hole, and shovel up his mud,
To load our happy isle with tons of treasure.

I see, I see arrive from Egypt's lands,
Gods of old times, and godlins, green and blue;
Ribs of its ancient kings, and legs, and hands,
To ravish all the lovers of virtu.

Precious, through time, I view a vermin vile,
That crawl'd on Pharaoh's back—the very louse;
And eke the little croaker of the Nile,
The very frog that hopp'd about his house.

Fingers of Lady Potiphar of note,
Which fix'd on Joseph to her charms to bind him;
And, lo! an actual rag of that torn coat
Which, struggling, modest Joseph left behind him.

Come too, and shake the parsons from their snore ,
Or snakes, and toads, and weasels steal from sight;
The moths and butterflies will wing to door,
And owls, and bats, and eagles take their flight.

During the profound and mid-day sleep of the three divine curators of the British Museum, many of the most valuable articles in the same dormitory, taking advantage of this comfortable nap, contrived lately to make their escape; so that, if a proper person be not appointed with a flapper, to keep their eyes open, the three Levites will soon be the only remaining curiosities of Montague House.