University of Virginia Library

Upon a Leicester-shire Parson in his Pulpit inveighing against Citizens, particularly one Gentleman present in the Church, and Suitor to a Gentlemans Daughter of the Parish, warning the Maids Parents to take heed, for Citizens come in fine Cloaths, which, 'tis like they never paid for.

How now? what means this Bean-Belly Divine?
For want of Pearls he's casting Peas to Swine.
What Seminary pray pretend you to?
You should be Oxon by Your lowing so.
Has London dis-oblig'd you (Sir) 'tis pitty
Y'are not a Jonah to condemn the City.
And yet (small Prophet) trust you but for stuffe,
You'l bring Us to Repentance soon enuffe.
For I believe you then would whip to Town,
And be in our books, oftner than your own.
But tell us (Sir) where was your Text? And pray
How came this use of caution in your way?
Methinks Your Doctrine smells too much of leven,
To interdict Marriage design'd in Heaven;
You would be Christ's subvicar sure! I wonder,
Whom God is joyning, you dare put asunder.
First with the Parents worship you began,
Are we not all the Sons of sinful man,
Vessels of Earth, and vilenesse, Worms that must
Confesse our ashes, and extraction dust?
Sir, when you preach, it is the souls Estate:
If other wealth your Subject be, you prate?
Herein, indeed, you your great reading shew
To quote the Fathers, and the Mothers too.
And even the Children; my conjecture's this,
Your Text must needs be out of Genesis.
And (Sir) you did divide it thus I know,
The Ubi, Quis, the Quam and Quomodo.
Quam was the Maid, the Quis the Man would match her,
The Quomodo was all how he should catch her.
The Ubi was Cheap-side, you could Divine,
Had they been marry'd too, the very sign.
For the abuses and mis-applications,
They rather Cudgel askt than commendations.
Pray what had you to do with outward dresse,
You were to see us cloath'd with Righteousness.
The Citizen I'm sure was in sheeps cloathing,
And so were you, though a wolfe by your mouthing.
And so were you? I call those words agen,
Your Wits (Sir) were but a wool-gathering then.
His cloaths were paid for (Priest) e're he came down,
Would all your Sermons, were as sure your own.
Such an Elaborate piece as this is, calls
For a Grand auditory, such as St. Pauls.
And yet you may your self that labour save,
Instead of hums, you there would hisses have.
This I forgive, but have a care 'oth' next,
Parson, indeed you were beside your Text.
If into more such folly you be led,
You'l break your Brains. And I shall break your head.