The Works of Peter Pindar [i.e. John Wolcot] :: :: University of Virginia Library

A rogue, by Honesty long left,
Was by Dame Justice order'd to be stripp'd,
And whipp'd,
For burglary—that is to say, a theft:
A work perform'd by men and boys,
Studying the nat'ral history of shops,
Who most ingeniously, without a noise,
Contrive to ope their unsuspecting chops,
Drawing forth money, watches, muslins, laces,
With other trinkets, that supply the Graces;
Assisted much by Mistress Night,
Of whom the Bow-street authors write;
A lady, who the world believes
Keeps the bad company of thieves.

The cat o'-nine-tails to his hide
Was most ingeniously applied,
Graving upon his mem'ry the word shop—
Puss, Pitt-like, deeply drank the purple flood—
But, lo! the rogue with Stoic patience stood,
As though Puss had not drank a single drop!

As soon as Justice had perform'd her part
Upon the rogue's unwincing hide,
He calmly turn'd his back upon the cart,
And, musing, roll'd his eyes from side to side
With a most solemn, philosophic face,
Like my Lord Eldon, on a crabbed case,
Which often comes into the Court of Chancery;
Where his grave lordship, and grave wig,
Both with the first importance big,
Are very often puzzled how to answer ye;

232

So very undecisive in decision,
Leaving for future chancery-traps provision.

‘Well! what art thinking of?’ exclaim'd Jack Ketch—
‘Thy brain seems dev'lish hard upon the stretch.’
‘I'm thinking,’ quoth the thief, with sharpen'd ken,
‘Of gutting that there shop to-night agen.’