All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted |
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[The peace of France, with the praise of Archy.
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 | All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet |  |
111
[The peace of France, with the praise of Archy.
Honour Conceal'd; Strangely Reveal'd:
OR, The worthy Praise of the Vnknowne Merits of the Renowmed Archibald Armestrong, who for his vnexpected Peace-making in France, betwixt the King and the Rochellers, hath this Poem Dedicæted as a Trophee, to his matchlesse Vertues. This being done in the yeare of our Lord, 1623.
Written by him whose Name Annagramatiz'd, is Loyol In Hart.
'Tis not the Warres of late I write vpon
In France, at the Iles of Rhea or Olleron:
These things were written in K. Iames his Raigne,
Then Read it not with a mistaking Braine.
THE PEACE OF FRANCE, With the Praise of Archy.
Vlisses
was a happy man of men,
In that his acts were writ with Homers pen,
And Uirgil writ the Actions & the Glory,
Of bold and braue Æneas wand'ring story.
Great Alexander had the like successe,
Whose life wise Quintus Curtius did expresse,
And (worthy Archy) so it fares with thee
To haue thy name and fame emblaz'd by me.
For Homer was the Prince of Poets styl'd,
And Princely actions onely he compyl'd.
And Quintus Curtius, with ornated skill,
Did soare aloft with his Hystorian Quill.
But pardon mee, much short of their great worth
If in a lower straine I set thee forth.
And sure I hold it for no little Grace
That 'tis my lot thy honour to vncase,
Nor can it be impeachment to thy name
To haue so meane a pen divulge thy fame.
For when the businesse is in order knit,
The subiect for the writer will seeme fit.
First, I haue read in Prophesies of old,
That written were by Merlin, who foretold
Some strange predictions, that without all doubt
Doth Cull, or picke, or point, or marke thee out.
In that his acts were writ with Homers pen,
And Uirgil writ the Actions & the Glory,
Of bold and braue Æneas wand'ring story.
Great Alexander had the like successe,
Whose life wise Quintus Curtius did expresse,
And (worthy Archy) so it fares with thee
To haue thy name and fame emblaz'd by me.
For Homer was the Prince of Poets styl'd,
And Princely actions onely he compyl'd.
And Quintus Curtius, with ornated skill,
Did soare aloft with his Hystorian Quill.
But pardon mee, much short of their great worth
If in a lower straine I set thee forth.
And sure I hold it for no little Grace
That 'tis my lot thy honour to vncase,
112
To haue so meane a pen divulge thy fame.
For when the businesse is in order knit,
The subiect for the writer will seeme fit.
First, I haue read in Prophesies of old,
That written were by Merlin, who foretold
Some strange predictions, that without all doubt
Doth Cull, or picke, or point, or marke thee out.
The Prophesie, as thus.
When as the sect of MahometThemselu's against themselues shall set:
When as the Gauls the Gauls shall spur and Gall,
When Castles, Townes and Towers shall fall,
When nought but Horror, Death and Dread,
Shall famous fertile France or'e spread,
Then shall a man depart our strands,
Borne 'twixt the Rumps of two great Lands,
And he shall make these brawles to cease
And set all France in friendly peace.
His name shall Strong in Arme be call'd,
With Chiefe (though Bearded) joyn'd with Bald.
About nine hundred yeares, or somewhat nigh,
Are past, since Merlin spoke this Prophecie,
And all the world may see, that what he sed
In Archies person is accomplished.
First all the Turkes that Mahomet adore
Are by the eares, and welter in their Gore.
Next France, which Gaul in time of yore was nam'd;
With war hath wasted beene, with fire inflam'd.
Then thirdly, Armestrong thither was conuaid
And then, and not till then the peace was made.
We fourthly finde (to further our auailes)
How he was borne betweene the Rumps, or tailes
Of two great Kingdomes, which were call'd the borders,
Now midst of Britæine, free from old disorders.
And lastly Strong in Arme his name shalbe,
Chiefe, Arch, or Bald or bold, which all agree.
There is a fellow, with a crafty pate
That made a cunaing Anagram of late,
The words were Merry Rascall, to be hang'd,
But if the writer in my hands were fang'd,
I quickly would inforce him know that he
Should meddle with his fellowes not with me.
But vnto thee, from whom I haue digrest
Braue Archybald, I find it manifest
The name of Armestrong, like strong men of armes,
Haue euer valiantly outdar'd all harmes.
And for their stout atchieuments bin accounted,
To be regarded, waited on and mounted.
Whilst those, whose merits could not win such state
Were grieued at their heart to see their fate.
And mayest thou rise. within this age of ours,
Vnto the honour of thy ancestours.
That the Auxungia of thy Matchlesse brest
May breed fresh Mandrakes to cause sleepe and rest,
To charme the Temples of consuming warres.
As thou hast done amongst the Rochellers.
'Twas sharpe contention that began those broyles
Which fild all France with fell domesticke spoyles,
And that discention did so farre offend
That wisedome scarcely could the mischiefe end,
And therfore 'twas ordain'd that thou shouldst come
To hang the Colours vp, and still the Drum
To cease the trumpets clang, and fifes shrill squeaking
And bring forth frightfull peace that close, lay sneaking
Not daring once her visage out to thrust
Till Armours were committed vnto rust;
Oh thou who art halfe English and halfe Scot
I would not haue thee proud of this thy lot,
But yet I should be proud if't were my chance
To doe as thou sayest thou hast done in France.
But should thy worth and acts bee here denyde
Thou hast ten thousand witnesses beside.
Who will maintaine 'gainst eyther friend or foe,
If thou didst make the peace in France or no.
'Tis certaine that thou soundst them all vnruly
Within the Month of August, or of Iuly:
And in September, or I thinke October
Thou lefst them all in peace, some drunke, some sober;
Then what is he that dares expostulate,
Or any way thy fame extenuate,
But he whose Idlenesse will make it knowne,
That he hath little businesse of his owne.
Nor can he be of any Ranke or note
That enuies thee, or any of thy Coate:
Then let desert fall where desert is due
Thine honour is thine owne, and fresh and new.
War could not end the war, twas plainely seene
Wealth could not stop the floudgates of their spleene,
Strength could not make them lay their weapons by
Wit could not helpe, nor martiall policy,
Perswasion did not doe that good it would,
And valour would decide it, if it could.
When neither of these vertues are in price
Then thou didst boldly shew them, what a Vice
It was for Subiects to prouoke their King,
By their Rebellion their owne deaths to bring.
When many a Mounsieur of the gallant Gaules,
Vnnat'rally was slaine in ciuill braules,
When many a Mother childlesse there was made
And Sire 'gainst Son oppos'd with trenchant blade,
When Roaring Cannons counterchekt the thunder,
And stately buildings lay their Ruines vnder.
When smoake eclipsing Sol, made skyes looke dim,
And murd'ring bullets seuer'd lim from lim;
Then didst thou come, and happy was thy comming
For then they left their Gunning and their Drumming.
And let the world of thee say what it list,
God will blesse him that made the warre desist.
'Tis wondrous strange, fate cannot be withstood
No man did dreamt thou euer wouldst doe good:
And yet to see beyond all expectation
All France and Britaine Ring with acclamation
And with applawsefull thankes they doe reioyce
That great Nauarre, and Burbon, and Valoyes,
Guize, Loraine, Balleine, all the Gallian Peeres.
Like fixed starres, are setled in their spheares.
A foole can raise a flame from out a sparke,
But he's a man of speciall note and marke
And worthy to be guerdon'd for his paine
That turnes a flame into a sparke againe;
So hast thou done, or else there are some Lyers
Thou didst extinguish wars combustious fires,
And what thou didst, I see no reason but,
In print the Memorandums should be put.
Thou hast a brace of Brothers trauailers,
Who each of them in their particulers
Shewes of what house they came, and of all others,
They'l do things worthy to be knowne thy brothers.
The one to Poland, or the Land of Po
To vnexpected purpose late did goe.
The other furnish'd with as braue a mind
Vnto Virginia wandered with the winde.
Where like a second Rephabus, braue Kitty
Doth make those parts admire him, he's so witty;
And though but little seruice he did here
'Tis past mans knowledge what he may doe there.
And where they are, they striue still to appeare,
To doe as much good there, as thou doest neere.
I wish you all were married, that your seed
Like Sonnes of Caine might multiply and breed:
For 'tis great pitty, such a stocke, or race
Obliuion should consume, or time deface.
Hadst thou but liu'd amongst the hairebraind elfs,
In Italy the Gibelines and the Guelphs:
Thou with thy oylely Oratory words
Hadst made them (at their owne wils sheath their swords:
Or when Augustus, Pompey, Anthony,
Sought Monarchy in Warres Triumuiri,
Hadst thou beene neere them er'e their mortall fight
Thou hadst done more then I can truely write.
Or had Jerusalem but had thy mate
Before Uespation it did Ruinate,
The Mad men Eleazar, Simon, Iohn,
Had neuer wrought their owne destruction.
And happy had it beene, if thou hadst bin
When Yorke and Lancaster did loose and win
Thou hadst done more then any man can tell
Those mighty factions to suppresse and quell.
There's a late Currant stuff'd with tales and newes
Of the Hungarians Sarazens, and Jewes,
And to the Turkish Citty (Hight) it come
Constantinople, or Bizantum,
In which Caranta all the French designes,
With Archies name endors'd did grace the lines,
And how thou wast the Pipe or Instrument
That made the peace there to their great content.
And scanning of the businesse thus and thus
They did admire thee there as much as vs.
For they are there like rough tempestuous Seas,
All by the cares, whom no man can appease.
At last amongst themselues they did agree,
To send a great Ambassador for thee,
The great Grandsigneor, the Commission sign'd
And they abide to haue Moone, Sun and Wind,
The name of him that brings the Embassy.
Is Halye Bashaw, Lord of Tripoly.
He is attended and well waited on,
By Sinan Beglerbeg of Babylon.
The Sanzake of Damascus comes along
And many more, a mighty troope and throng.
And sure twill be much honour vnto thee
To cause these Mad Mahometans agree.
Thou shalt be fed with dainties and with suckets
And thy reward shall be Chickens and Duckets.
Are past, since Merlin spoke this Prophecie,
And all the world may see, that what he sed
In Archies person is accomplished.
First all the Turkes that Mahomet adore
Are by the eares, and welter in their Gore.
Next France, which Gaul in time of yore was nam'd;
With war hath wasted beene, with fire inflam'd.
Then thirdly, Armestrong thither was conuaid
And then, and not till then the peace was made.
We fourthly finde (to further our auailes)
How he was borne betweene the Rumps, or tailes
Of two great Kingdomes, which were call'd the borders,
Now midst of Britæine, free from old disorders.
And lastly Strong in Arme his name shalbe,
Chiefe, Arch, or Bald or bold, which all agree.
There is a fellow, with a crafty pate
That made a cunaing Anagram of late,
The words were Merry Rascall, to be hang'd,
But if the writer in my hands were fang'd,
I quickly would inforce him know that he
Should meddle with his fellowes not with me.
But vnto thee, from whom I haue digrest
Braue Archybald, I find it manifest
The name of Armestrong, like strong men of armes,
Haue euer valiantly outdar'd all harmes.
And for their stout atchieuments bin accounted,
To be regarded, waited on and mounted.
Whilst those, whose merits could not win such state
Were grieued at their heart to see their fate.
And mayest thou rise. within this age of ours,
Vnto the honour of thy ancestours.
That the Auxungia of thy Matchlesse brest
May breed fresh Mandrakes to cause sleepe and rest,
To charme the Temples of consuming warres.
As thou hast done amongst the Rochellers.
'Twas sharpe contention that began those broyles
Which fild all France with fell domesticke spoyles,
And that discention did so farre offend
That wisedome scarcely could the mischiefe end,
And therfore 'twas ordain'd that thou shouldst come
To hang the Colours vp, and still the Drum
To cease the trumpets clang, and fifes shrill squeaking
And bring forth frightfull peace that close, lay sneaking
Not daring once her visage out to thrust
Till Armours were committed vnto rust;
Oh thou who art halfe English and halfe Scot
I would not haue thee proud of this thy lot,
But yet I should be proud if't were my chance
To doe as thou sayest thou hast done in France.
But should thy worth and acts bee here denyde
Thou hast ten thousand witnesses beside.
Who will maintaine 'gainst eyther friend or foe,
If thou didst make the peace in France or no.
'Tis certaine that thou soundst them all vnruly
Within the Month of August, or of Iuly:
And in September, or I thinke October
Thou lefst them all in peace, some drunke, some sober;
Then what is he that dares expostulate,
Or any way thy fame extenuate,
But he whose Idlenesse will make it knowne,
That he hath little businesse of his owne.
Nor can he be of any Ranke or note
That enuies thee, or any of thy Coate:
Then let desert fall where desert is due
Thine honour is thine owne, and fresh and new.
War could not end the war, twas plainely seene
Wealth could not stop the floudgates of their spleene,
Strength could not make them lay their weapons by
Wit could not helpe, nor martiall policy,
Perswasion did not doe that good it would,
And valour would decide it, if it could.
When neither of these vertues are in price
Then thou didst boldly shew them, what a Vice
It was for Subiects to prouoke their King,
By their Rebellion their owne deaths to bring.
When many a Mounsieur of the gallant Gaules,
Vnnat'rally was slaine in ciuill braules,
When many a Mother childlesse there was made
And Sire 'gainst Son oppos'd with trenchant blade,
When Roaring Cannons counterchekt the thunder,
And stately buildings lay their Ruines vnder.
When smoake eclipsing Sol, made skyes looke dim,
And murd'ring bullets seuer'd lim from lim;
Then didst thou come, and happy was thy comming
For then they left their Gunning and their Drumming.
And let the world of thee say what it list,
God will blesse him that made the warre desist.
113
No man did dreamt thou euer wouldst doe good:
And yet to see beyond all expectation
All France and Britaine Ring with acclamation
And with applawsefull thankes they doe reioyce
That great Nauarre, and Burbon, and Valoyes,
Guize, Loraine, Balleine, all the Gallian Peeres.
Like fixed starres, are setled in their spheares.
A foole can raise a flame from out a sparke,
But he's a man of speciall note and marke
And worthy to be guerdon'd for his paine
That turnes a flame into a sparke againe;
So hast thou done, or else there are some Lyers
Thou didst extinguish wars combustious fires,
And what thou didst, I see no reason but,
In print the Memorandums should be put.
Thou hast a brace of Brothers trauailers,
Who each of them in their particulers
Shewes of what house they came, and of all others,
They'l do things worthy to be knowne thy brothers.
The one to Poland, or the Land of Po
To vnexpected purpose late did goe.
The other furnish'd with as braue a mind
Vnto Virginia wandered with the winde.
Where like a second Rephabus, braue Kitty
Doth make those parts admire him, he's so witty;
And though but little seruice he did here
'Tis past mans knowledge what he may doe there.
And where they are, they striue still to appeare,
To doe as much good there, as thou doest neere.
I wish you all were married, that your seed
Like Sonnes of Caine might multiply and breed:
For 'tis great pitty, such a stocke, or race
Obliuion should consume, or time deface.
Hadst thou but liu'd amongst the hairebraind elfs,
In Italy the Gibelines and the Guelphs:
Thou with thy oylely Oratory words
Hadst made them (at their owne wils sheath their swords:
Or when Augustus, Pompey, Anthony,
Sought Monarchy in Warres Triumuiri,
Hadst thou beene neere them er'e their mortall fight
Thou hadst done more then I can truely write.
Or had Jerusalem but had thy mate
Before Uespation it did Ruinate,
The Mad men Eleazar, Simon, Iohn,
Had neuer wrought their owne destruction.
And happy had it beene, if thou hadst bin
When Yorke and Lancaster did loose and win
Thou hadst done more then any man can tell
Those mighty factions to suppresse and quell.
There's a late Currant stuff'd with tales and newes
Of the Hungarians Sarazens, and Jewes,
And to the Turkish Citty (Hight) it come
Constantinople, or Bizantum,
In which Caranta all the French designes,
With Archies name endors'd did grace the lines,
And how thou wast the Pipe or Instrument
That made the peace there to their great content.
And scanning of the businesse thus and thus
They did admire thee there as much as vs.
For they are there like rough tempestuous Seas,
All by the cares, whom no man can appease.
At last amongst themselues they did agree,
To send a great Ambassador for thee,
The great Grandsigneor, the Commission sign'd
And they abide to haue Moone, Sun and Wind,
The name of him that brings the Embassy.
Is Halye Bashaw, Lord of Tripoly.
He is attended and well waited on,
By Sinan Beglerbeg of Babylon.
The Sanzake of Damascus comes along
And many more, a mighty troope and throng.
And sure twill be much honour vnto thee
To cause these Mad Mahometans agree.
Thou shalt be fed with dainties and with suckets
And thy reward shall be Chickens and Duckets.
The Tartar Chrim, Icleaped Tamor Can,
Warres with the mighty great Moscouian
And vnto them haue thy exploytes bin told,
But goe not there, the Climates are to cold.
Our Merchants might doe well to hire thee hence
'Gainst Tunis and Argiere, for their defence,
There in the Straites, or in the Gulph of Venice,
(Where Neptune tosseth Ships, like Bals at tennis)
Thou mayest amongst the Pyrates take some course,
To mitigate or aggrauate their force.
I muse what Planet had within the sky,
Predominance at thy Natiuity,
For surely Fortune wrapt thee in her smooke,
And like a Lamb, did in the Cradle Rocke:
She dandled thee and luld thee in her lap
And tenderly she gaue thee sucke and pap;
Her purblinde fancie to her more delights
Esteem'd thee 'mongst her chiefest fauourites;
Much happy was it, that she daign'd to smile
On vs, that thou hadst birth within our Ile,
For thou at Jericho mightst haue been borne,
Then all our hopes in thee had beene forlorne,
Or at Cathay in China, or Iapan,
And who can tell what we should all doe than,
And sure did Presier Iohn and the Mogull
But knew thy worth and vertue to the full
Nor Britaines Bounds thy Carkasse then could hold
If thou for Gold or Siluer mightst be sold.
Or 'tis a question they would make pretence
'Tinuade our Land, by force to take thee hence.
For why in thee a Iewell we enioy,
As Whilome the Palladium was to Troy:
Or like the Target, drop'd from Heauen to Rome
So on thy person waites a fatall doome;
In Terra call'd Jncognita did they
That there inhabite, know but any way
To compasse thee, they'ld hazard bloud and bone
And passe the Frigido and the Torid Zone,
The trope of Cancer and of Capricorne,
To hold them from the hazard they would scorne
And they would cut the Equinoctiall line
'Tenioy (as we doe) that sweet corps of thine.
Wer't thou with Powhaton, he would agree
To leaue the Diuell, and fall to worship thee,
And (like that Image) giue thee honour there
Nabuchadnezzar did in Babel reare.
But whether doth my Muse thus Rambling run,
'Tis knowne the Warres in France are past & done.
And if themselues they to remembrance call,
For what thou didst, they ought to thank thee all,
Mars, and Bellona from thy presence fled,
And Bacchus with faire Venus came in stead,
The Codpicce God (Priapus) is erected
In France, and Somnus is by Pax protected,
Thou hast bereau'd the Souldiers of some knocks,
And wounds and slashes are transform'd to pocks,
For Citherea's the Chyrurgians Star
And makes more worke in peace then Mærs in was.
The Generals and Masters of the Campe
The Colonels now cease to sweare and stempe,
The Captaines haue layd by their bastinadoes,
Lieutenants put to silence their brauadoes.
The Colours furdled vp, the Drum is mute,
The Seriants Ranks and Files doth not dispute,
The Corp'rall knowes no watchword, Lantzprezadoes.
Nor Souldiers scowt or lye in ambuscadoes,
Now murdring Bullets, mortall Cuts and stabs,
Are metamorphos'd to Dice, Drinke, and Drabs,
To Fidlers, Pipers, Panders, Parasites,
Fooles, Knaues and Festers, and such rare delights;
The Cups run round, the tongue walks quicke and glid
Whilst euery Tinker doth enioy his Tyb.
Thrice happy France, that in thee did arriue
Our strong arm'd Archy, that war thence did driue.
And happier Britaine, now thy worth is knowne
In hauing such a Iewell of thine owne.
A Iewell pollish'd, and most brightly, burnish'd,
Foyld, and well painted, set in Gold, Rich furnish'd;
But all men knowes a Iewell shewes not well,
Except it be dependant like a Bell,
But Archy let delay breed no distaste,
Theres time enough for all things, hast makes waste.
There was a Post came late all tyr'd and weary.
From Callice o're the Sea to Canterbury:
And he reported that in euery angle,
Of France, did bonfires burne, and Bels did Iangle;
In euery market Towne, and Street and Citty,
The Ballad-makers haue compos'd a Ditty
To magnifie thy name which is resounded,
And wondred at as farre as France is bounded,
That in their drinking Schooles and tipling Houses,
The Fidlers sing thy honor, for two souses.
The whilst thy health runs round with wondrous quicknes,
'Till too much Health or health at last brings sicknes.
And shall a forreine Land thus farre expresse
To thee (for thy deserts) their thankefulnesse,
And shall thy health in Britaine not be guzled
And all our Muses be hide-bound and muzled.
Great Ioue forbid, that such indignity
Should ere befall to thy malignity.
For since the Graces heere doe not befriend thee
And since the Vertues will no way attend thee,
The Sences seeme as sencelesse vnto thee
The Sciences to thee Regardlesse be,
The Gods and Goddesses seeme dumb and stupid
(Except the Punke of Daphos, and young Cupid)
Onely the deadly Sins, the Fates, and Feinds,
On thee (as on ten thousand more) attends,
I noted this, and grieued much in mind,
That in our loues we were so farre behind;
I was resolu'd to vndergoe this Chance,
To write thy praise, as some haue done in France;
And now I enterd am, I'le further in
And spur my Muse amaine through thicke and thin,
“Till I haue made the Court thy praises ring,
“Till in thy lawd the Citty Songs do sing.
Till I haue forc'd the Country Rurall Swaines
Chant, Pipe, and dance thy praises on the Plaines,
The tongues confusion in our braue Exchange
Shall Babell like declare thy story strange,
The newes of thee shall fill the Barbers shops,
And at the Bake-houses, as thicke as hops
The tatling women as they mold their bread
Shall with their dough thy fourefold praises knead.
Whilst Water-bearers at the Conduits all
Within their tankerds sound thy honour shall,
And at the house of office at Queene hithe,
Men shall record thy actions braue and blithe.
Then France shall well perceiue, who'ere sayes nay.
That we haue bauins here as well as they,
And that we can make bonefires, and ring bels,
Drink healths, and be starke drunke, and something else,
That we can rime beyond all sence or Reason
And can doe what we may at any season,
This shall be done before that I haue done
And then thy glory shall a gallop run,
Like to the gliding of a shooting Starre,
East, West, South, North, from Deuer to Dunbar,
Meane space accept the rudenesse of my Rime.
And Ile doe twice as much another time.
Thus wishing to Escape occasions Male,
In Courtly Complement, my pen bids Uale.
Warres with the mighty great Moscouian
And vnto them haue thy exploytes bin told,
But goe not there, the Climates are to cold.
Our Merchants might doe well to hire thee hence
'Gainst Tunis and Argiere, for their defence,
There in the Straites, or in the Gulph of Venice,
(Where Neptune tosseth Ships, like Bals at tennis)
Thou mayest amongst the Pyrates take some course,
To mitigate or aggrauate their force.
I muse what Planet had within the sky,
Predominance at thy Natiuity,
For surely Fortune wrapt thee in her smooke,
And like a Lamb, did in the Cradle Rocke:
She dandled thee and luld thee in her lap
And tenderly she gaue thee sucke and pap;
Her purblinde fancie to her more delights
Esteem'd thee 'mongst her chiefest fauourites;
Much happy was it, that she daign'd to smile
On vs, that thou hadst birth within our Ile,
For thou at Jericho mightst haue been borne,
Then all our hopes in thee had beene forlorne,
Or at Cathay in China, or Iapan,
And who can tell what we should all doe than,
And sure did Presier Iohn and the Mogull
But knew thy worth and vertue to the full
Nor Britaines Bounds thy Carkasse then could hold
If thou for Gold or Siluer mightst be sold.
Or 'tis a question they would make pretence
'Tinuade our Land, by force to take thee hence.
For why in thee a Iewell we enioy,
As Whilome the Palladium was to Troy:
114
So on thy person waites a fatall doome;
In Terra call'd Jncognita did they
That there inhabite, know but any way
To compasse thee, they'ld hazard bloud and bone
And passe the Frigido and the Torid Zone,
The trope of Cancer and of Capricorne,
To hold them from the hazard they would scorne
And they would cut the Equinoctiall line
'Tenioy (as we doe) that sweet corps of thine.
Wer't thou with Powhaton, he would agree
To leaue the Diuell, and fall to worship thee,
And (like that Image) giue thee honour there
Nabuchadnezzar did in Babel reare.
But whether doth my Muse thus Rambling run,
'Tis knowne the Warres in France are past & done.
And if themselues they to remembrance call,
For what thou didst, they ought to thank thee all,
Mars, and Bellona from thy presence fled,
And Bacchus with faire Venus came in stead,
The Codpicce God (Priapus) is erected
In France, and Somnus is by Pax protected,
Thou hast bereau'd the Souldiers of some knocks,
And wounds and slashes are transform'd to pocks,
For Citherea's the Chyrurgians Star
And makes more worke in peace then Mærs in was.
The Generals and Masters of the Campe
The Colonels now cease to sweare and stempe,
The Captaines haue layd by their bastinadoes,
Lieutenants put to silence their brauadoes.
The Colours furdled vp, the Drum is mute,
The Seriants Ranks and Files doth not dispute,
The Corp'rall knowes no watchword, Lantzprezadoes.
Nor Souldiers scowt or lye in ambuscadoes,
Now murdring Bullets, mortall Cuts and stabs,
Are metamorphos'd to Dice, Drinke, and Drabs,
To Fidlers, Pipers, Panders, Parasites,
Fooles, Knaues and Festers, and such rare delights;
The Cups run round, the tongue walks quicke and glid
Whilst euery Tinker doth enioy his Tyb.
Thrice happy France, that in thee did arriue
Our strong arm'd Archy, that war thence did driue.
And happier Britaine, now thy worth is knowne
In hauing such a Iewell of thine owne.
A Iewell pollish'd, and most brightly, burnish'd,
Foyld, and well painted, set in Gold, Rich furnish'd;
But all men knowes a Iewell shewes not well,
Except it be dependant like a Bell,
But Archy let delay breed no distaste,
Theres time enough for all things, hast makes waste.
There was a Post came late all tyr'd and weary.
From Callice o're the Sea to Canterbury:
And he reported that in euery angle,
Of France, did bonfires burne, and Bels did Iangle;
In euery market Towne, and Street and Citty,
The Ballad-makers haue compos'd a Ditty
To magnifie thy name which is resounded,
And wondred at as farre as France is bounded,
That in their drinking Schooles and tipling Houses,
The Fidlers sing thy honor, for two souses.
The whilst thy health runs round with wondrous quicknes,
'Till too much Health or health at last brings sicknes.
And shall a forreine Land thus farre expresse
To thee (for thy deserts) their thankefulnesse,
And shall thy health in Britaine not be guzled
And all our Muses be hide-bound and muzled.
Great Ioue forbid, that such indignity
Should ere befall to thy malignity.
For since the Graces heere doe not befriend thee
And since the Vertues will no way attend thee,
The Sences seeme as sencelesse vnto thee
The Sciences to thee Regardlesse be,
The Gods and Goddesses seeme dumb and stupid
(Except the Punke of Daphos, and young Cupid)
Onely the deadly Sins, the Fates, and Feinds,
On thee (as on ten thousand more) attends,
I noted this, and grieued much in mind,
That in our loues we were so farre behind;
I was resolu'd to vndergoe this Chance,
To write thy praise, as some haue done in France;
And now I enterd am, I'le further in
And spur my Muse amaine through thicke and thin,
“Till I haue made the Court thy praises ring,
“Till in thy lawd the Citty Songs do sing.
Till I haue forc'd the Country Rurall Swaines
Chant, Pipe, and dance thy praises on the Plaines,
The tongues confusion in our braue Exchange
Shall Babell like declare thy story strange,
The newes of thee shall fill the Barbers shops,
And at the Bake-houses, as thicke as hops
The tatling women as they mold their bread
Shall with their dough thy fourefold praises knead.
Whilst Water-bearers at the Conduits all
Within their tankerds sound thy honour shall,
And at the house of office at Queene hithe,
Men shall record thy actions braue and blithe.
Then France shall well perceiue, who'ere sayes nay.
That we haue bauins here as well as they,
And that we can make bonefires, and ring bels,
Drink healths, and be starke drunke, and something else,
That we can rime beyond all sence or Reason
And can doe what we may at any season,
This shall be done before that I haue done
And then thy glory shall a gallop run,
Like to the gliding of a shooting Starre,
East, West, South, North, from Deuer to Dunbar,
Meane space accept the rudenesse of my Rime.
And Ile doe twice as much another time.
Thus wishing to Escape occasions Male,
In Courtly Complement, my pen bids Uale.
FINIS.
| All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet | |