University of Virginia Library

INCANTATION, Miasma, Air, ‘The Frog in Yellow.’
Gather round me, gather round me, gather round, each jolly fellow;
Owl, viper, toad, and scorpion, gather round, my plot is mellow.
Gather round at the sound, lizard, snake, and frog in yellow.
From my unwholesome fen, so dark and drear,
Want, Misery, and Pestilence, appear!
Want, Misery, and Pestilence, appear.
Gather around me, serpents, vipers, toads,
Scorpions, and beetles, from your dark abodes;
Infect the earth, the water, and the air;
Spit pestilential poison ev'rywhere!
With sulphurous fumes all human nostrils fill;—
You understand?—it is Miasma's will!

Pes.
[Whining.]
My sphere of action's cramped as it can be;
Chloride of lime has nearly done for me!

Misery.
Poor people live so cleanly and so neatly,
I find my little game played out completely!
E'en from cheap lodging-houses back I'm sent:
Now poor folk lodge by Act of Parliament!

Mia.
What's this I hear? My favourite deadly tools
Restricted now to fens and stagnant pools?
Have I no home—no friends—no footing?—none?
My occupation, like Othello's, gone?
I'm nearly stamped out in this cursed nation;
My epitaph, ‘He died of Ventilation.’
[Savagely.]
Whose work is this?

Satana rises, rapidly, through trap.
Satana.
Oh, your old foe's, Fresh Air:
The hussy's sought for, welcomed, everywhere;
Where'er she goes, establishes her sway,
While yours decreases surely, day by day,
Attack her, ere our power she o'erwhelms!

Mia.
[Despondingly.]
Miasma cannot enter her pure realms!
No, no; we must invent some other plan.

Satana.
If you can't enter them, why others can.
My plan (by which you need not leave your fen)
Is this: Cock Robin marries Jenny Wren
To-day, and Fresh Air gives the festive spread;
Now, I heard chattering, just overhead,
Three birds, whose love proud Jenny has rejected—
(The fact, of course, might well have been expected),
The Cuckoo, and the Raven, and the Sparrow,—
Their unsuccessful suits their feelings harrow!
[Mysteriously.]
This is my scheme, contained in half a breath:
Give them the compassing of Fresh Air's death!

Mia.
A better plan I think I never heard;
But will they undertake it?

Satana.
Like a bird!

[Satana whistles.
Cuckoo, Raven, and Sparrow descend.
Mia.
Hum!

Spar.
Don't explain—we heard you, perched up there:
You want us three to go and kill Fresh Air?
[Miasma nods.
Ha, ha! we live on her; on her depend
Our lives, my unsophisticated friend!
Why such a deed would surely bring to grief us;—
No, no, no, no, not, NOT, NOT for Josephus!

[The Birds shake their heads knowingly.
Mia.
Humph! this is awkward!

Satana.
Well, ‘Another way:’
As works on cookery so often say.
[To Sparrow.
If you decline to kill the hussy—bless her!
I guess you've no objection to distress her?

Spar.
How?

Satana.
Kill her protegé, Cock Robin—then,
Of course, you three can fight for Jenny Wren.

Spar.
Cock Robin?—Won't we!

Satana.
Listen: I've a scheme.
[To Cuckoo and Raven.
You two intoxicated quite shall seem,
And tipsily kiss Jenny, Robin's treasure,

Cuckoo.
Kiss Jenny Wren? oh, that we will, with pleasure!

Satana.
[To Sparrow.]
You shoot at them, excited by her sobbin',
Of course you miss them, and—you kill Cock Robin!

Spar.
But stop—that's dangerous—suppose we should—

Mia.
You don't suppose the good Miasma would
On such an errand unprotected send you?
Satana and Demonio shall attend you.
Demonio, rise!
Demonio rises through trap.
Protect these dickies, will you?
[Demonio expresses obedience.
Allow me, gentlemen—my dumb familiar,
Diavolo Demonio Spitz Von Ulgar!
[Demonio bows ceremoniously.
Though he's familiar, he's by no means vulgar!

Health and Happiness appear suddenly, through trup in flat.
Health.
Abominably treacherous design!

Hap.
Disgusting plot! Wren is a ward of mine.
Beware Fresh Air's revenge, insensate fool!

Mia.
Upon my word, this is extremely cool!
Of strange intruders here I find the place full!
[Savagely.]
Who are you?

Health.
Health!

Mia.
[To Happiness.]
You?

Hap.
Happiness!

Mia.
Disgraceful!
You ought to be put down—some day you will!

Health.
Put down?

Mia.
Yes, put down, in a doctor's bill!
What do you want?

Health.
We've come to this dark fen
To plead for Robin and his little Wren.

Hap.
They are our wards; their godmothers are we.

Mia.
I'm very sorry, but it cannot be.
[Aside.]
I must get rid of them, and send them home.
[To Demonio.]
Stir up yon scummy miasmatic foam!
[Demonio stirs up pool: fumes arise—Health and Happiness very much overcome by their effect.
That tickles 'em!

Health.
[To Happiness.]
Away from this foul dell!
I'm feeling so uncommonly unwell!
[To Miasma.
Be warned by me: if you refuse my prayer,
I'll hasten to the Spirit of Fresh Air,
And all her power against you have arrayed.

Mia.
All right, go in and win—I'm not afraid!