University of Virginia Library

ACT I.

SCENE I.

An Inn at Seville.
Enter Don Ramirez and Hostess.
HOSTESS.
This way an't please your honour. You are welcome
To Seville, sir. Would'st please to take refreshment?

RAMIREZ.
All in good time. I would repose a little.

HOSTESS.
No doubt your honour must be much fatigued.
Shall I prepare a posset for your honour,
Something that's warm and comfortable?

RAMIREZ.
Pshaw!
Diego!

HOSTESS.
Whom dost your honour please to want?

RAMIREZ.
My rascal whom I left in charge o'th' baggage—

HOSTESS.
Diego! Signor Diego!

Enter Diego, with a Cloakbag, &c.
RAMIREZ.
So, you're come.

DIEGO.
Aye, I am come, and all the things are safe—
But I was forc'd to have my eyes about me.
There were some sparks there standing in the yard,
That look'd as if their fingers itch'd to have 'em.

HOSTESS.
What's that you say, signor?—I'd have you know
None but the best of quality come here.

DIEGO.
They may be quality for ought I know;
But they look'd plaguily like pickpockets.

HOSTESS.
Like pickpockets indeed! A pretty story!
I, who have liv'd here fifteen years, and more,
And held my head up with the best in Seville,
Thus to be taunted.

DIEGO.
Nay, I taunt you not—
But if I ever saw a pickpocket—

RAMIREZ.
Have done.

HOSTESS.
Nay let him, an he will, go on.
I'll bring him up.

DIEGO.
You'll be brought down yourself.

HOSTESS.
I be brought down!—By whom, I pray? by you?—
I tell thee, saucy knave—

RAMIREZ.
Ne'er heed him, madam,
He is untaught.—But I would be alone.

HOSTESS.
Your worship speaks like a good gentleman.
What would your honour please to have for dinner?
There's butcher's meat of all sorts, fish and poultry;
Shall I conduct your worship to the larder?

RAMIREZ.
I'd rather be excus'd: let him go with you.

DIEGO.
Aye, let me see what store you have on board.
Come, dame, I'll follow you:—nay, do not pout,
Shew me good fare, and we'll be friends anon.

[Exeunt Diego and landlady.
RAMIREZ.
So! here am I at length arriv'd in Seville,
Where, thanks to my kind kinsman, Don Alonzo,
I am invited to receive the hand
Of the fair Laura, only child and heir
Of rich Don Guzman. Let me see—in lands,
Of solid rents, some threescore thousand crowns;
In ready cash, pistoles some fourscore thousand.
Why this, so far as money goes, is well.
And yet, I know not—I've but half a heart
To undertake this business.—Clara! Clara!
Thou hast a claim upon me, which my heart,
And honour too, convince me can't be cancell'd.
My evil star was surely in ascendance,
When, in the moment of a peevish quarrel,
Brought on by mine own petulance, I open'd
That letter from Alonzo. Riches, honours,
Flash'd in my view, and with a magnet's force
Seduc'd me hither.

Enter Diego.
DIEGO.
I have got a trifle
To stay my stomach—'Tis a noble larder!
I've order'd you a delicate young capon,
Some nice red trouts, a pretty leg of lamb,
An omelette, with a vermicelli soup,
A partridge and some other little kickshaws—

RAMIREZ.
'Slife, do you mean to feed an army, sirrah?

DIEGO.
I always like to do the thing genteely,
(Aside)
—And 'specially when I am not to pay for't.

RAMIREZ.
Hark you me, sir! Let's have no more of this.
Enquire the way to Don Alonzo's house;
Tell him I'm here, impatient to embrace him.
And hasten to the tailor, whom he order'd
To make for me a suit, in the same fashion
As those now worn by noblemen at court.
Then find where lives Don Guzman de Pacheco;
Make my respectful compliments to him
And his fair daughter—

DIEGO.
She you come to wed?

RAMIREZ.
Ay, sir, the same; my golden fleece, such as
Jason ne'er saw, my East and Western Indies—
My argosie, freighted with gold and jewels—

DIEGO.
Heav'n help me, I shall ne'er remember half—
Let's see—to compliment your honour's tailor—
To tell the rich young lady you're impatient
T'embrace her—

RAMIREZ.
Silence, sir, no jesting now—
See you perform my orders punctually.

DIEGO.
Then you're resolv'd to marry this same lady?

RAMIREZ.
Else wherefore came I from Toledo hither?

DIEGO.
An I might do it without risk, I'd ask
Your honour one plain question.

RAMIREZ.
Ask it freely.

DIEGO.
There's something tempting, I must own, i' th' thought
Of gaining at a hit a vast estate,
With no incumbrance on it but a wife,
And she too, as 'tis said, handsome and young—
I must confess 'tis tempting.

RAMIREZ.
Well, wise sir,
Say on.

DIEGO.
I'm coming to the point—Now, mark me.
There is a certain lady lives at Elvas—
One Donna Clara—do you know her, sir?

RAMIREZ.
Aye, marry, sir—better than she knows me.

DIEGO.
That may well be; for, as I think, you chose,
Without a godfather, to call yourself
Don Juan Velasco, you may now conceive
That you, as Don Ramirez, are not bound
To stand to what Don Juan strictly promis'd.

RAMIREZ.
Perhaps I may not.

DIEGO.
Nay, sir, as you please,
I'm not your confessor; yet, if I err not,
There was a time, and that not long ago,
When you profess'd yourself her humble servant,
Seem'd never happy but when you was with her,
And, if I don't mistake, your marriage day
Was fix'd; when, on a sudden, why or wherefore
I know not, you decamp'd.

RAMIREZ.
Have you ought else?

DIEGO.
Nay, that's enough.

RAMIREZ.
Then thus I answer you.
When I declar'd my love to Donna Clara,
I was sincere, heav'n knows my heart, I was!—
But wherefore do I talk of this to you?
I thought I had a cause—but what of that?
'Tis past—I would forget it if I could.

DIEGO.
And so poor Donna Clara's left to sigh.

RAMIREZ.
Name her no more!

DIEGO.
I wo'n't—
I'll hold my tongue, and set my teeth in motion.

Enter Hostess.
HOSTESS.
An't please your honour, dinner is serv'd up.

RAMIREZ.
I'll wait upon you madam.
[Exit Hostess.
Hark, Diego,
Do what I order'd you. Make no mistakes.

[Exit.
DIEGO.
Plague on this state of servitude, I say!
I've appetites and feelings like my master;
Can be fatigued too after a hot journey,
And can enjoy the luxury of dinner,
With a cool glass of sparkling Malvoisie,
To lead me gently on to my siesta.
But I'm forsooth his lackey, a poor drudge,
Hungry and tir'd to run upon his errands,
While he indulges in his easy chair,
And takes his pleasure. Fortune! thou'rt a jade
To leave me thus, when, had it been thy will,
I could have made so fine a gentleman.

[Exit.

SCENE II.

The Garden of Donna Clara's House.
Enter Donna Clara and Beatrice.
BEATRICE.
Well, after all, ma'am, were I fit to advise you,
I'd counsel you to give up this Ramirez,
And vex and plague yourself no more about him.
To palm himself upon you for Don Juan,
To sigh and swear eternal constancy,
'Till he had drawn you to consent to marriage,
And then, beshrew him for't, to run away,
Forsooth, to marry one, who, I'll be sworn,
No more deserves to be compar'd to you—

CLARA.
Could I take counsel only of my judgment,
I certainly should follow your advice:
But, ah! my Beatrice, I confess with shame
This truant has an interest in my heart—

BEATRICE.
What, madam, after all his perjuries,
After the letter, which, when he was flown,
I chanc'd to meet with from one Don Alonzo,
Another rakehell like himself I warrant,
Stiling him Don Ramirez, and announcing
That all was ready for his instant marriage
With rich Don Guzman's daughter of this town—

CLARA.
Had it not been for that my heart had burst;
But now my pride is listed in the cause,
And every passion, which can urge a woman
To vindicate her love, her fame, impels me
To break the trammels which have drawn him hither,
And bring the traitor back to his allegiance.

BEATRICE.
Since things are so, I have no more to say.
But surely 'tis a singular disguise
You mean t'adopt—To quit your rank and station,
And to propose yourself as the duenna
Of this Don Guzman's daughter—

Enter Bertran.
CLARA.
Welcome, good Bertran! Well, what have you done?

BERTRAN.
Let me put off this pedagogue's disguise,
And then I'll answer you.
(Takes off his hat, wig, and cloak.)
Now I can speak.
Whether 'tis zeal, or merely heat o'th'weather
That warms me so, I know not.

CLARA.
Prithee tell me,
Have you succeeded?

BERTRAN.
If it be success,
To strip you for a season of your rank,
And veil your peerless beauties in a cloud,
I have succeeded fully. You are now
I'th' highway to preferment.

CLARA.
Thanks, good Bertran!
Ten thousand thanks!

BERTRAN.
Nay, it is something, look you,
To rise at once to be the only daughter
Of Sancho Perez, schoolmaster at Olmez,
(That's I, I pray you mark) who've lately lost
Your husband, Vincent Nunez, a rich farmer—

BEATRICE.
Have you assign'd no part to me?

BERTRAN.
Oh, yes!
You are my wife—my second wife observe you,—
Who, for some family reasons, not inclining
To keep a widow'd step-daughter at home,
Have counsell'd me to seek for her some station,
Where she may be protected from the arts
Of wicked men.

CLARA.
And this account pass'd current?

BERTRAN.
Like a new ducat. You have nought to do,
But prank you in your grave habiliments,
And hasten with me to Don Guzman's house,
Who waits with more impatience to receive you,
Than sun-burnt fallows do a summer show'r.

CLARA.
Come, girl, let's lose no time: I'm all impatience
To enter on my functions. Do you think
You can discharge your part?

BEATRICE.
Never fear me,
I've not been chambermaid so long for nothing.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III.

A public Place in Seville.
Enter Don Carlos.
CARLOS.
Would I could learn if the report be true
That Laura's hand is promis'd to another!—
Who's this Ramirez?—What are his pretensions?
Can her affection then be fix'd on him?
If so, I'll shew myself deserving of her,
And sacrifice to her my fondest wishes.

Enter Pedrillo.
PEDRILLO.
I'm glad I've found you—there's such news abroad—
I've brought you such intelligence. He's come—

CARLOS.
Who?—

PEDRILLO.
Don Ramirez.

CARLOS.
What already?

PEDRILLO.
Aye—
Within this hour he landed from his mule
At the Green Dragon, where he now is hous'd.
Birlady! he's a sightly cavalier,
A young, well-timber'd blade, to all appearance
Not overstock'd with diffidence, and likely
To make advances in a lady's favour.

CARLOS.
What can be done, Pedrillo?

PEDRILLO.
Truly, matters
Do look a little crooked. Yet, I know not—
I have some hopes.—As yet, I've form'd no plan;
But, if I can depend upon my skill
In physiognomy, a certain Diego,
Who waits on Don Ramirez as his lackey,
Is made of clay, which my fine wits may mould
Into a shape subservient to our purpose.
I watch'd him closely even now i'th' inn yard,
As he stood centry o'er his master's cloak-bag,
And took full measure of him.—As I live,
He comes this way.—Now judge of him yourself.

Enter Diego.
DIEGO.
I know not how it is—but there is something
In a strange place that makes one lose one's way.
The people at the inn appear'd to give me
A plain direction—but I cannot find it.
If I could see some civil gentleman,
Of whom I could enquire the road—Odso!
There's two together, decent looking persons—
Pray, gentlemen, may I make bold to ask—

PEDRILLO
(turning to him).
You may.—Who are you?—What d'ye want with me?

DIEGO.
I would enquire—But hold!—Aye, you are he—

PEDRILLO.
Am he!—Am who?

DIEGO.
Why one of those same quality,
Who look'd so sharply at my master's cloak bag,
As if you long'd to be familiar with it.
I know you well enough.

PEDRILLO.
Why, friend, you're mad.
I'm an apothecary.

DIEGO.
That's a good one!

PEDRILLO.
Who keep a shop in St. Jago Street;
Where, if you want galenicals or drugs,
Cupping, blood-letting, or tooth-drawing, sir,
I shall be honor'd by your worship's favors.

DIEGO.
And so you're an apothecary?

PEDRILLO.
Yes—
And what of that?—

DIEGO.
Mayhap then you've a brother,
Or it may be a cousin who is like you.

PEDRILLO.
I have no brother—nor no cousin either,
Nor uncle, aunt, nor sister, father or mother.

DIEGO.
That's strange!

PEDRILLO.
Not strange at all. It is a way
That we have in our family.

DIEGO.
Well, sir,
Since it is so, I would make free to ask
Where I may find Don Guzman de Pacheco?

PEDRILLO.
What is't you want with him?

DIEGO.
Faith, I want nought;
But I've a little message to deliver.

PEDRILLO.
Then, friend, you'll lose your labour.

DIEGO.
Eh?—Why so?—

PEDRILLO.
Hast thou not heard he is about to marry
His daughter to a brave young gentleman,
One Don Ramirez?

DIEGO.
I have heard it said.

PEDRILLO.
Then know, his time and thoughts are so engag'd,
He will hear nought but what relates to him.

DIEGO.
Then he'll hear me, for I am charg'd to bear
That Don Ramirez' compliments.

PEDRILLO.
Oh, ho!—
You are his valet then?— (Bowing)
—I humbly pray
You'll recommend me to his honor's custom.
My name is Pedro Lobo.

DIEGO.
Pedro Lobo?—

PEDRILLO.
Aye, Pedro Lobo. You shall find me, sir,
Most thankful—I will shave you, sir, for nothing.

DIEGO.
That's kind—I'll do't—

PEDRILLO.
Well, I am glad we've met.
I like your looks—you seem a pleasant fellow—

DIEGO.
Oh! yes—I'm very pleasant.—I like you too.

PEDRILLO.
That's well—And so you're going to Don Guzman's?
Have you no other message?

DIEGO.
Yes, I've one.
Only to say my master will wait on him,
As soon as his new suit comes home.

PEDRILLO.
His suit?
Who is his tailor?

DIEGO.
Gil Baptista.

PEDRILLO.
Oh!
I know him—lives not far from Puerta Nova.

DIEGO.
The same. I'll thank you, sir, if you'll direct me
To him and to Don Guzman's.

PEDRILLO.
Look you, friend,
I'll put you in the way. Don Guzman's house
And Gil Baptista's are not far apart.—
And does your master mean to go alone
To pay his visit at Don Guzman's?

DIEGO.
No—
One Don Alonzo, who made up the marriage,
Has settled to go with him.

PEDRILLO
(aside).
That's unlucky.—
Who is your master's banker here in Seville?

DIEGO.
Faith, I know not.—But prythee, civil sir,
Be pleas'd to point me out the way to go.

PEDRILLO.
Well, honest friend, you must go down yon street—
Not quite to the bottom, but, at the third turning,
Go to the right—

DIEGO.
The right?

PEDRILLO.
Aye, to the right.
Then take the second turning to the left,
And you will find yourself in the great square.
Then cross it, and you'll see two streets before you—

DIEGO.
But which am I to take?

PEDRILLO.
That to the right.
Then turn to the left hand, which will bring you close
To Gil Baptista's.

DIEGO.
'Tis a plaguy distance,
And somewhat difficult I fear to find.

PEDRILLO.
Not in the least.—You'll come and see me, won't you?
We'll drink a glass together—

DIEGO.
That I will.

PEDRILLO.
And recommend me to your master's custom?

DIEGO.
Basta!—'tis done. Good day to you, kind sir.
A mighty civil worthy gentleman!

[Exit.
PEDRILLO.
I'll keep my word!—I'll follow you up close,
And shave you close too ere I've done with you.

CARLOS.
And so, sir, you are an apothecary.

PEDRILLO.
I'm any thing your service may require.

CARLOS.
What is your project now?

PEDRILLO.
I've sent that novice
A wild-goose chace, which, I'll engage for't, will
Employ him for some time: meanwhile, my lord,
Go home and write a letter to your love.
My bus'ness leads me to this young spark's tailor.
He's an old friend of mine, who will perhaps
Indulge me with the loan of this same habit
Made for his introduction. If I get it,
Trust to my skill for keeping him at home.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.

Don Ramirez's Apartment at the Inn.
Enter Hostess and Don Alonzo.
HOSTESS.
An't please you, this is Don Ramirez's chamber.
I pray your honour, take a chair; his worship,
Heav'n bless him! is enjoying his siesta.

ALONZO.
Tell him, I pray you, ma'am, that Don Alonzo
Is here to wait on him.

HOSTESS.
Well, I'll be sworn
You're two as pretty gentlemen to look on—

ALONZO.
Will you be pleas'd to let him know I'm here?

HOSTESS.
I will your honour—well, it does one good
To look upon you both!

[Exit.
ALONZO.
Make haste, I pray.
I long to know what has detain'd him thus,
When I had taken pains to make this match
So plainly advantageous. There is danger
In trifling, when a woman is concern'd.

Enter Ramirez.
RAMIREZ.
Alonzo, this is kind indeed! Most welcome!

ALONZO.
Welcome, my dear Ramirez! I have waited
With more impatience to receive you, than
You shew'd in coming. What! A bridegroom you!
When beauty, youth and fortune, challeng'd you,
To linger thus!

RAMIREZ.
Why truly I'm to blame—
And yet I know not—Prithee ask no questions—
I'm here you see.

ALONZO.
Why, you are grown mysterious.
Is this the ardour which becomes a lover,
Invited, as it were, t'accept the hand
Of Seville's paragon, whose op'ning charms
Might thaw a hermit's frozen heart to love,
Whose rank is equal to your own, whose wealth
Will reinstate the fortunes of your house?

RAMIREZ.
Why as you say—'tis true—I own it all—

ALONZO.
Whence all this myst'ry then, this icy coldness?

RAMIREZ.
Cold?—No, not I—I made what haste I could!
But I was absent when your letter came,
And so it was delay'd—And so you thought me
Cold and mysterious! (laughs)
—A good joke that,
When a fine girl's in question! Faith, Alonzo,
'Twas really kind of you to think of me.
I warrant me that most men would have wish'd
To keep so rich a treasure to themselves.
But you—In truth you acted handsomely

ALONZO.
For me, you know, I'm clearly out o'th'question:
My faith's already plighted to another.
She's neither quite so fair, nor quite so rich,
As she whose hand awaits you; but, you know
When once a man has gain'd a woman's heart,
And giv'n his word to marry her, common honour
Requires him to fulfil it.

RAMIREZ.
Certainly—

ALONZO.
For, were he to draw back from his engagement,
No gentleman would speak to him.

RAMIREZ.
Umph!—No—

ALONZO.
He would be scouted from society,
As one who'd neither faith nor honour in him.
Don't you think so?

RAMIREZ.
Oh, certainly!

ALONZO.
A fellow,
Who's capable of that, would pick one's pocket.
Would not he, think you?

RAMIREZ.
Umph!—Undoubtedly—

ALONZO.
But an't you anxious to behold your Laura?
Trust me she's worth your knowing.

RAMIREZ.
I'm on fire
To see her—

Enter Pedrillo, with a Bundle.
PEDRILLO.
Gentlemen, your humble servant!— (bowing.)


ALONZO.
What is't you want, sir?

PEDRILLO.
With your honour's favour,
I am commission'd, sir, to Don Ramirez.

RAMIREZ.
I'm he.

PEDRILLO
(bowing).
I am your honour's most obsequious,
Most humble—

RAMIREZ.
When you've done, sir, with these cringes,
Perhaps you'll speak your purpose.

PEDRILLO.
I've the honour
To be the representative of Gil Baptista,
Who, at cuff, cape, skirt, sleeve, or pocket, reigns
Without a rival here in Seville.

RAMIREZ.
So—
You are a tailor's journeyman?

PEDRILLO.
I am, sir.

RAMIREZ.
Hast brought my suit?

PEDRILLO.
I have it in this fardel.
(Opens his bundle).
There! I'll ne'er cut an inch of satin more,
Or with my goose smooth down a button-hole,
If there's in Seville so complete a suit.
Wilt please your honour just to try it on?

RAMIREZ.
Aye, come, let's see your workmanship—Odso!
You set unhandily about it, friend.

PEDRILLO.
Now, if your honour pleases, try it on.
If it should fit you, why— (aside)
—my pains are lost.

RAMIREZ.
Gently—Why, what's the matter with this sleeve?
I cannot get my arm through!

PEDRILLO
(aside).
If you can,
I've thrown away my trouble.— (To Ramirez)
—Push away, sir!
You'll get it through at last—The saints defend me,
If you ha'n't pulled away the sleeve!

RAMIREZ.
The deuce!
What can we do?

PEDRILLO.
'Tis of no consequence;
I'll take it home again, an't please your honour,
And stitch it in a trice—'Tis a mere trifle.

ALONZO.
But we are losing time, sir—

PEDRILLO
(aside).
That's exactly
What I propose you should do—

ALONZO.
We're expected
This moment at Don Guzman's—

PEDRILLO.
I'll be back
Within this half hour—I'm your worship's servant—
(Going.)
Enter Diego.
Your worship may be sure—Zooks! he arrived!

DIEGO.
What Pedro Lobo?—What has brought thee here?

PEDRILLO.
I'm in a monstrous hurry—pray don't stop me—
I have been paying my respects—

DIEGO.
That's right.
Has't ask'd for's custom? Has he promis'd thee?

PEDRILLO.
He has—Good afternoon—

DIEGO.
Stay—stay a minute.
I'll say a word or two to clinch the matter.

PEDRILLO.
Not now—

RAMIREZ.
Remember expedition, sir.

PEDRILLO.
Your honour may be sure of it directly.— (Going).


DIEGO.
Nay—you shall stay and take a glass with me.
Here—waiter!—

PEDRILLO.
No—not now.—I must begone!—

[Exeunt Pedrillo and Diego, squabbling.
RAMIREZ.
What a provoking circumstance!

ALONZO.
Ne'er mind—
We shall be time enough, so pray be patient—

RAMIREZ.
Were you but interested, sir, as I am,
You'd hardly thank a friend for preaching patience.
But come—while he's repairing my new suit,
Go with me to my chamber. I must give
A few last tasteful touches to my hair,
To make myself quite irresistible.
Nay, you may laugh—but 'tis a serious matter—
The first impression, sir, is ev'ry thing.

[Exeunt.