University of Virginia Library

As from some Dream, a trembling Prophet starts,
And woeful Warnings to the World imparts:
So I, broke loose, from a Seraglio Life,
Will show, what 'tis to be a Turkish Wife!
Soft!—let me whisper!—shou'd some Husband hear,
'Twou'd cost our Petticoat Dominion dear!
No Visits there—no Plays—no Cards—no Wooing;
Dull, downright Duty makes up all their doing.
Jealous of genial Air, even that's deny'd 'em!
And their grim Dears in Drawers and Mufflers hide 'em.
To see us, there, these airy Hoops display,
They'd think, our Limbs, let loose, wou'd run away.
Well!—to say truth,—good Discipline does Wonders!
Husbands, in Turkish Climates, hear no Thunders.
To Matrimonal Contract, meekly just,
All Women, there, obey—because they must.
Silent, they fit, in passive Rows, all Day;
And musing, cross-legg'd, stitch strange Thoughts away.
Provoking Life!—stew'd up like Ponds of Fish,
They feed, and fatten, for one Glutton's Dish!
Learn'd in their Lord's vast Worth, they get by heart,
How rich each is, in her five hundredth Part!
But, when Night comes, how pure, how pious they!
Who go to Bed—to sleep!—and rise—to pray!
Blest in full Chastity, and unbroke Slumber,
They owe a spotless Purity—to Number.
Slow must five hundred Womens Virtue fall,
Who have but one poor Man t'undoe 'em all!
Like the warm Sun, he daily does appear;
But his grand Round is made, scarce once a Year!
Dreadful Reflection!—Call they this a Wife?
'Tis an unwholesom, dull,—unactive Life!
O England! England! did thy Damsels travel,
And these dark Mysteries, of the East, unravel,
How blest were Husbands in a chang'd Condition!
No longer found to need their Wives Tuition!

But these are Secrets, better hid, than shown:
Custom's our Friend—and we'll e'en hold our own.