 | The Ball |  |
Actus Tertius.
Enter Lord and Barker.Ba.
So so, yau'e a precious time on't.
Lor.
Who can helpe it Franke, if Ladies will
Be wilde, repentance tame 'em, for my part
Ba.
And doe they both affect you.
Lo.
So they say,
And did justifie it to my face.
Ba.
And you did praise their modesty.
Lo.
I confesse I prais'd 'em
Both when I saw no remedy.
Ba.
You did, and they beleev'd.
Lo.
Religiously?
Ba.
Do not
Do not beleeve it my young Lord, theyle make
Fooles of a thousand such, they doe not love you.
Lo.
Why, and shall please your wisedome?
Ba.
They are women,
Thats a reason, and may satisfie you,
They cannot love a man.
Lo.
What then?
Ba.
Themselves,
And all little enough, they have a tricke
To conjure with their eyes, and perhaps raise
A masculine spirit, but lay none.
Lo.
Good Cato
Be not over-wise now, whats the reason
That women are not sainted in your Calender,
You have no frosty constitution?
Ba.
Would you were halfe so honest.
Lo.
Why a woman
May love thee one day.
Ba.
Yes when I make legges
And faces like such fellowes as you are.
Lo.
Mounsieur La Friske.
Enter Mounsieur La Friske.
Moun.
Serviteur.
Lo.
Nay Franke thou shat not goe.
Ba.
Ile come agen when you ha done your Iygge.
Moun.
A Mounsieur.
Lo.
Come you shall sit downe, this fellow will make thee laugh.
Ba.
I shall laugh at you both, and I stay.
Lo.
Harke you Mounsieur, this gentleman has a great
Moun.
He command my service,
Please your Lordship beginne tat he may
See your profit alkey—hah.
Lo.
How like you this Franke?
Ba.
Well enough for the dogge-dayes, but have
You no other dancing for the Winter, a man
May freeze and walke thus.
Moun.
It be all your grace, Mounsieur, your
Dance be horseplay begar for de stable not
De chamber, your ground passage hah
Never hurt de backe Mounsieur, nor trouble
De legge mush, hah plait ill you learne
Mounsieur.
Lo.
For mirth sake, and thou lovest me.
Moun.
Begar I teach you presently, dance with all de
Grace of de body for your good, and my profit.
Ba.
Pardon me my Lord.
Moun.
Oh not pardonne moy.
Lo.
Doe but observe his methode
Ba.
I shall never endure it, pox upon him.
Mo.
Tis but dis in de beginning, one, two, tree, foure, five, the
Cinquepace, alley Mounsieur, stand upright an begar.
Lo.
Let him set you in toth posture.
Mo.
My broder my Lord know wel for de litle kit he fiddle
And me for de posture of de body, begar de King has no too
Sush subjects hah, dere be one foote, two foote, have
You tree foote, begar you have more den I have den.
Ba.
I shall breake his fiddle.
Lo.
Thou art so humerous.
Moun.
One, beene two hah, you goe to fast, you be at Dover
Begar, and me be at Greenwish, tree toder legge pishaw.
Ba.
A poxe upon your legges, ile no more.
Moun.
Purquoy.
Lo.
Ha ha ha, I wod some Ladies were here to laugh
At thee now, you wonot be so rude to meddle with
The Mounsieur in my lodging.
Ba.
Ile kicke him to death, and bury him in a Base-violl Iackalent.
Iackalent, begar you be Iackenape, if I had my weapon
You durst no affront me, I be as good gentleman, an for
All my fiddle as you, call me a Iacke a de lent.
Lo.
Raile upon him Mounsieur, Ile secure thee, ha ha ha.
Moun.
Because your leg have de poc, or something dat make
Em no vell, and friske, you make a foole of a Mounsieur.
My Lord use me like Gentleman, an I care no rush for
You, be desperate, kill me, and me complaine to de
King, and teach new dance, galliarde to de gibbet, you
Be hang'd in English fashion.
(Exit
Ba.
Goe, yar'e an impertinent Lord, and I will be reveng'd
Lo.
Ha, ha, good Diogenes, come Mounsieur,
You and I wonot part yet.
Moun.
My Lord, if you had not beene here, me wod have
Broken his head with my fiddle.
Lo.
You might sooner have broke your fiddle, but strike up.
Moun.
Allei hah boone.
They Dance in.
Enter Bostocke.
Bo.
I spie Sir Marmaduke comming after me,
This way Ile take to avoide his tedious questions,
Heele interrupt me, and I ha not finish'd
Things fit for my designe.
Enter Sr. Ambrose.
Am.
Tis Mr Bostocke, little does he thinke
What I am going upon, I feare I shanot
Containe my joyes.
Bo.
Good fortune to Sr. Ambrose.
Am.
Sir you must pardon, I cannot waite
Vpon you now, I ha businesse of much consequence.
Bo.
I thought to have made the same excuse to you,
For at this present I am so engag'd.
Am.
We shall meete shortly.
Both.
Ha ha ha.
Bo.
Poore Gentleman how is he beguil'd.
Am.
Your nose is wip'd, hum, tis Sr. Marmaduke,
Enter Sr. Marmaduke.
I must salute him.
Bo.
The Coronell? theres no going backe.
What misfortun's this? but tis no matter,
Noble sir how ist?
Am.
As you see sir.
Co.
As I could wish noble Mr. Bostocke,
Bo.
Your humble servant Coronell.
Co.
Nay nay a word.
Ma.
I shannot forbeare jeering these poore things,
They shall be mirth.
Co.
What all met so happily? and how my
Sparkes of honour?
Am.
Things so ticle me,
I shall breake out.
Co.
When saw, you our Mistresse Lady Lucina.
Am.
My suite is cold there, Mr. Bostocke carries
The Lady cleane before him.
Bo.
No no not, it is Sr. Marmaduke.
Ma.
I gleane by smiles after Sr. Ambrose.
Co.
None of you see her to day?
I may as soone marry the Moone, and get
Children on her, I see her not this three dayes,
Tis very strange, I was to present my service
This morning.
Ma.
Youle march away with all.
Co.
I cannot tell, but theres small signe of victory,
And yet me thinkes you should not be neglected,
If the Fennes goe forward, and your Iron Mills.
Ma.
Has she betraid me?
Co.
Some are industrious,
And have the excellent skill to cast brasse buttons.
Ma.
Coronell softly.
Co.
How will you sell your vineger a pint,
The Patent something sawcie.
Am.
The Coronell jeeres him.
Bo.
Excellent, ha ha.
Co.
Had not you a head once,
Of haire I meane, favours ha glean'd too much,
If Ladies will ha bracelets, let 'em stay
Till the next croppe.
Hum, the very language she us'd to me.
Bo.
Does he jeere him too, nay nay, prethee spare him, ha ha.
Co.
You may doe much, and yet I could desire
You were lesse honourable, for though you have
Blood of a deeper crimson, the good Lady
Out of her love could wish you were a thing
Beneath a foote man, and that you had no kindred
But Knights oth' post.
Bo.
Good Coronell.
Co.
Nay pardon me,
In the humour I am in, I wish, and heartily,
You were a sonne oth' people.
Bo.
Coronell,
How the devill came he by this?
Co.
Vnder the Rose there was a gentleman
Came in at the Wicket, these are tales of which
The Greekes have store, faire hopes Gentlemen.
Mar.
How came you by this intelligence.
Co.
Nay Ile no whispering, what I say to one
Will concerne every man, shee has made
You coxcombes.
Am.
It does appeare.
Co.
And more then does appeares yet
I had my share.
Bo.
Thats some comfort, I was afraid.
Co.
But you shall pardon me, Ile conceale
The particulars of her bountifull abuses
To me, let it suffice I know we are all
Ieer'd most abominably, I stood behinde
The hangings when shee sign'd your severall passes,
And had my owne at last worse than the Constables,
That this is true, you shall have more than oath,
Ile joyne wee in revenge, and if you wonot,
I will doe't alone.
Ma.
She is a devill.
Am.
Damme her then, till we thinke on something else,
Lets all goe backe, and raile upon her.
Bo.
Agreed, a poxe upon her.
We cannot be to bitter, shees a hell Cat.
Am.
Dee heare, listen to me our shames are equall,
Yet if we all discharge at once upon her,
We shall but make canfusion, and perhaps
Give her more cause to laugh, let us chuse one,
To curse her for us all.
Co.
Tis the best way, and if you love me gentlemen,
Engage me, I deserve this favour for my
Discovery, Ile sweare her into hell.
Ma.
Troth I ha no good veine, Ime content.
Bo.
Gentlemen, noble Coronell as you respect
A wounded branch of the Nobilitie,
Make it my office, she abus'd me most, and if
The devill doe not furnish me with language,
Ile say he has no malice.
Co.
If they consent.
Mar., Am.
With all our hearts.
Bo.
I thanke you gentlemen.
Co.
But lets us all together, Ile not be barr'd,
Now and then to enterpose an oath,
As I shall finde occasion.
Bo.
Youle releeve me
When I take breath, then you may helpe, or you,
Or any to confound her.
Co.
Let away.
Bo.
Never was witch so tortur'd.
Exeunt
Enter Freshwater, Gudgin, and Solomon.
Sol.
Noble Mr. Freshwater welcome from travell.
Fr,
Where be the Ladies?
So.
In the next roome sir;
My Lady Rosomond is sitting for her picture,
I presume you will be welcome.
Fr.
An English Painter?
So.
Yes sir.
Fr.
Prethee let me see him.
He gives Freshwater accesse to the Chamber and returnes.
Sol,
This way,
Honest Gudgin,
How, and the matters abroad, a touch of
Gud.
First, let me understand the state of things
At home.
So.
We have little alteration since thou went'st,
The same newes are in fashion,
Onely gentlemen are faine to ramble, and stumble
For their flesh since the breach oth' banke side.
Gud.
Is my aunt defunct.
So.
Yet the Viragoes ha not lost their spirit, some on
'Em have challeng'd the field, every day where
Gentlemen have met 'em, oh the dogge-dayes bit
Shreudly, twas a vilanous dead vacation.
Gud.
Is Pauls alive still?
Sol.
Yes, yes, a little sicke oth' stone, she voides some
Every day, but she is now in phisicke,
And may in time recover.
Gud.
The Exchange stands?
Sol.
Longer than a Church,
There is no feare while the Merchants have faith;
A little of thy travells, for the time is precious, what
Things have you seene or done since you left England?
Gud.
I have not leasure to discourse of particulars, but first
My Mr. and I have runne France through, and through.
So.
Through and through, how is that man?
Gud.
Why once forward, and once backward, thats through
And through.
Sol.
Twas but a cowardly part to runne a Kingdome
Through backeward.
Gud.
Not with our horses Solomon, not with our horses.
Enter Freshwater and Lady Rosomond.
Fr.
Madam, I did not thinke your Ladiship
Had so little judgement
So.
As how Signiour?
Fr.
As to let an English man draw
Your Picture, and such rare Mounsieurs in towne.
Ro.
Why not English?
Fr.
Oh by no meanes Madam,
They ha not active Pensiles.
Thinke you so.
Fre.
You must incourage strangers while you live,
It is the Character of our nation,
We are famous for dejecting our owne countrymen.
Ros.
Is that a principle.
Fre.
Who teaches you to dance?
Ros.
A Frenchman Signior.
Fre.
Why so, tis necessary,
Trust while you live the Frenchman with your legges,
Your faces with the Dutch, if you mislike
Your faces, I meane if it be not sufficiently
Painted, let me commend upon my credit
A pretious workeman to your Ladyship.
Ros.
What is he.
Fre.
Not an English man I warrant you,
One that can please the Ladies every way,
You shannot sit with him all day for shaddowes,
He has Regallias, and can present you with
Suckets of foureteene pence a pound, Canary,
Prunellas, Venice glasses, Parmisan,
Sugars, Bolognia, Sausages all from Antwerpe;
But he will make Ollepodredos most incomparably.
Ros.
I have heard of him by a noble Lady
Told me the tother day, that sitting for
Her picture, shee was stifled with a strange
Perfume of hornes.
Fre.
A Butcher told me of 'em, very likely.
Ros.
When I have neede
Of this rare Artist I will trouble you
For my directions, leaving this discourse,
How thrives your Catalogue of debtors Signior.
Fre.
All have payd me, but;
Ros.
You shannot name me in the list of any
That are behind, beside my debt a purse
For clearing the account.
Fre.
You are just Madam,
And bountifull, though I came hither with
Simple intention to present my service
Her Ladiships name.
Sol.
My Cofin has the
Same provision for you.
Enter Barker, and Lady Honoria.
Gud.
Sir, Master Barker.
Fre.
Madam Ile take my leave, Ile finde another
Time to attend my Lady, there's no light,
I cannot abide this fellow.
Exit with Gud.
Hon.
Madam, Master Barker hath some designe
Which he pretends concernes us both.
Ros.
Hee's welcome, what ist?
Bar.
My Lord commends him to yee.
Ros.
Which Lord Sir?
Bar.
The Lord, the fine, the wanton dancing Lord,
The Lord that playes upon the Gitterne, and sings,
Leapes upon tables, and does pretty things,
Would have himselfe commended.
Ros.
So Sir.
Bar.
He loves you both, he told me so,
And laughs behind a visard at your frailtie,
He cannot love that way you imagine,
And Ladies of the game are now no miracles.
Hon.
Although he use to raile thus, yet we have
Some argument to suspect his Lordships tongue
Has beene to liberall.
Ros.
I finde it too, and blush within to thinke
How much we are deceived, I may be even
With this May-Lord.
Exit.
Hon.
But does his Lordship thinke
We were so taken with his person.
Bar.
You wod not, and you knew as much as I.
Hon.
How Sir?
Bar.
I ha beene acquainted with his body
Ha knowne his baths and phisicke.
Hon.
Ist possible, I am sorry now at heart.
I had a good thought on him, hee shall see't,
For I will love some other in revenge,
Ha but the grace to smile, and court me up too't.
Ba.
Hum?
Ho.
A buble of Nobilitie, a giddy
Phantasticke Lord, I want none of his titles,
Now in my imaginations he appeares
Ill favoured, and not any part about him
Worth halfe a commendation, wod he were here.
Co.
Youd make more on him.
Ho.
That I might examine,
And doe my judgement right betweene you two now,
How much he would come short, you have an eye
Worth fortie of his, nose of another making;
I saw your teeth ene now compar'd to which,
His are of the complexion of his combe,
I meane his boxe, and will in time be yellower,
And aske more making cleane, you have a shew
Of something on your upper lippe, a Witch
Has a Philosophers beard to him, his chinne
Has just as many hounds as haires that ever
My eyes distinguish'd yet, you have a body
And unpromising in his slashes, one
May see through him, and for his legges they both
Would but make stuffing for one hansome stocking,
Th'are a Lords I will be sworne, I dote upon him,
I could wish somewhat, but Ime sworry sir
To trouble you so much, all happie thoughts
Possesse you.
Exit
Ba.
How is this, if I have wit
To apprehend, this Lady does not hate me?
I have profest a cinicke openly,
This language melts, Ile visite her againe.
Enter Honoria.
Ho.
Sir, I have a small request to you.
Ba.
Lady command.
Ho.
If you thinke I have power
Or will to deserve from you any courtesie,
Pray learne to dance.
To dance?
Ho.
At my entreatie sir to dance,
It was the first thing tooke me with his Lordship,
You know not what may follow, fare you well.
Exit.
Ba.
What pretends this to dance, theres something in't,
I've reveng'd my selfe already upon my Lord,
Yet deeper with my Lady is the sweeter,
Something must be resolv'd.
Exit.
Enter Lady Lucina and Scutilla.
Luc.
Enough enough of conscience, lets reserve
Part of the mirth to another time, I shall
Meete some other hot worships at the Ball;
Vnlesse their appehension prompt 'em,
Earlier to know their folly in pursuing me.
Enter Solomon.
Sol.
Madam, the Gentlemen that were here this morning
In single visits are come all together,
And pray to speake with you.
Luc.
They've met already give 'em accesse.
Scu.
I wonder what they'le say.
Enter Bostocke, Lamount, Coronell, and Travers.
Co.
Be confident she shall endure it.
Bo.
So so,
How dee Gentlemen, yar'e very wellcome.
Am.
Tis no matter for that we doe not come to be
Welcome, neither will we be welcome, speake Mr. Bostocke.
Bo.
We come to mortifie you.
Luc.
You will use no violence.
Bo.
But of our tongues, and in the names of these
Abused gentlemen, and my selfe I spit
Defiance, stand further off, and be attentive,
Weepe or doe worse, repentance wet thy linnen,
And leave no veine for the Doctor.
Luc.
They're mad.
Scu.
There is no danger Madam, let us heare 'em,
If they scold we two shall be hard enough for 'em,
And they were twenty.
Bo.
Thou Basiliske.
At first sight?
Bo.
Whose eyes shat fire, and poyson,
Malicious as a Witch, and much more cunning,
Thou that dost ride men.
Luc.
I ride men?
Bo.
Worse than the night Mare, let thy tongue be silent,
And take our scourges patiently, thou hast
In thy owne selfe all the ingredients
Of wickednesse in thy sexe, able to furnish
Hell if it were insufficiently provided
With falshood, and shee feind of thy owne making
Circe that charm'd men into swine, was not
So much a Jew as thou art, thou hast made
Vs Asses, dost thou heare?
Am.
He speakes for us all.
Bo.
But it is better we be all made such,
Than any one of us be monstred worse
To be an Oxe thy husband.
Scu., Luc.
Ha ha ha.
Bo.
Dost thou laugh Crocadile?
Co.
That was well said.
Bo.
Spirit of flesh and blood Ile conjure thee,
And let the devill lay thee on thy backe
I care not.
Ma.
Admirable Bostocke.
Co.
That spirit of flesh and blood was well inforc'd.
Bo.
You thought us animales insensible
Of all your juglings did you Prorsepnie?
Am.
I come to that.
Bo.
And that we lov'd, lov'd with a poxe your phisnomie,
Know we but tried thee Beldam, and thou art
Thy selfe a sonne oth' earth.
Am.
How, shee a sonne?
Bo.
Twas a mistake, but she knowes my meaning,
I beginne to be a wearie gentlemen,
Ile breath a while.
Co.
Tis time, and that you may
Not want encouragement take that.
Gentlemen Coronell, what dee meane.
Co.
You shall know presently, dare but lift thy voyce
To fright this Lady, or but aske thy pardon,
My sword shall rip thy body for thy part,
And naile it on her threshold, or if you,
The proudest offer but in lookes to justifie
The basenesse of this wretch your soules shall answer'd.
Ma.
Howes this?
Co.
Oh impudence unheard, pardon Madam
My tedious silence, the affront grew up
So fast I durst not trust my understanding
That any gentleman could attempt so much
Dishonour to a Lady of your goodnesse;
Was this your project to make me appeare
Guilty of that I hate beyond all sacriledge,
Was it for this you pray'd my company,
You todpoles? tis your presence charmes my sword,
Or they shall quickly pay their forfeit lives,
No Altar could protect 'em.
Am.
We are betray'd.
Ma.
Was it not his plot to have us raile?
Co.
Say, shall I yet be active?
Luc.
By no meanes,
This is no place for blood, nor shall any cause
Engage to such a danger.
Co.
Live to be
Your owne vexations then till you be mad,
And then remove your selfe with your owne garters.
You shannot goe before I know from whose
Braine this proceeded, you are the mirth,
Was ever civill Lady so abus'd
In her owne house by ingratefull horseleeches?
Could your corrupted natures finde no way
But this to recompence her noble favours,
Her courteous entertainements, would any
Heathens done like to you? admit she was
So just to say she could see nothing in you
Worthy her deerer thoughts as to say truth,
Not see how poore and miserable things
You are at best? must you impudent
In such a loud, and peremptory manner,
Disturbe the quiet of her thoughts and dwelling
Gentlemen rather hinds scarce fit to mixe,
Vnlesse you mend her manners with her drudges.
Luc.
This shewes a noblenesse, dost not Scutilla?
Bo.
Why sir, did not you tell us?
Co.
What did I tell you?
Bo.
Nothing.
Co.
Be gone, least I forget my selfe.
Bo.
I have a token to remember you
A palsie upon your fingers noble Coronell.
Ma.
Was this his stratagem? we must be gone.
Exit.
Luc.
Sir I must thanke yee, and desire your pardon,
For what has past to your particular.
Co.
Ya've more than satisfied my service in
Th'acknowledgement: disdaine cannot provoke
Me to be so insolent.
Luc.
Againe I thanke you.
Co.
I can forget your last neglect, if you
Thinke me not too unworthy to expect
Some favour from you.
Luc.
How dee meane.
Co.
Why as
As a servant should that is ambitious?
To call you Mistresse, till the happier title
Of wife crowne his desires.
Luc.
I must confesse,
This has wone much upon me: but two words
To such a bargaine, y'are a gentleman,
Ime confident would adventure for me.
Co.
As farre as a poore life could speake my service.
Luc.
Thats faire and farre enough, I make not any
Exception to your person.
Co.
Body enough
I hope to please a Lady.
But.
Co.
To my fortune.
Luc.
To that the least, I have estate for both.
Co.
Though if hold no comparison with youre,
It keepes me like a gentleman.
Luc.
I have a scruple.
Co.
You honour me in this,
Theres hope, if I can take away that care,
You may be mine.
Luc.
Sir can you put me in securitie
That you have beene honest?
Co.
Honest, how dee meane?
Luc.
Beene honest of your body, you are gentlemen,
Out of the warres live lazie, and feede high,
Drinke the rich grape, and in Canary may
Doe strange things, when the wine has wash'd away
Discretion.
Co.
What is your meaning Lady?
Luc.
I doe not urge you for the time to come,
Pray understand, have you beene honest hitherto?
And yet because you shannot trouble friends
To be compurgators, Ile be satisfied;
If you will take your owne oath that you are.
Co.
Honest of my body?
Luc.
Yes sir, it will become me to be carefull
Of my health, Ile take your owne assurance,
If you can cleare your body by an oath,
Ile marry none but you, before this gentlewoman.
Co.
Your reason why you use me thus?
Luc.
I wonder you will aske, doe not I heare
How desperate some ha beene, what paine, what phisicke.
Co.
This is a tale of a tubbe Lady.
Luc.
You rid no match without a shirt, to shew
The complexion of your body, I ha done sir
When you resolue to sweare y'are honest, I
Vow to be yours, your wife: I am not hastie,
Thinke on't, and tell me when we meete againe
Anon, to night, to morrow, when you please;
Exeunt.
Co.
Ist come to this? I am jeer'd agen, ist possible
To be honest at these yeeres, a man of my
Complexion, and acquaintance? was ever
A gentleman put to this oath before a this fashion?
If I ha the grace now to forsweare my selfe,
Something may be done, and yet tis doubtfull
Sheele have more trickes, if widdowes be thus coltish,
The devill will have a taske that goes a woing.
Exit.
| The Ball | |