 | The Fancies Chast and Noble |  |
31
Actus III.
Enter Romanello.Rom.
Prosper me now my fate; some better genius
Then such a one, as waits on troubled passions,
Direct my courses to a noble issue.
My thoughts have wander'd in a labyrinth,
But if the clew I have laid hold on, faile not,
I shall tred out the toyle of these darke paths
Inspight of politique reaches—I am punish'd
In mine owne hopes, by her unluckie fortunes,
Whose fame is ruin'd; Flavia, my lost sister!
Lost to report, by her unworthy husband,
Enter Nitido.
Though hightned by a greatnes, in whose mixtures,
I hate to claime a part—Oh welcome, welcome,
Deere boy! thou keep'st time with my expectations
As justly, as the promise of my bounties
Shall reckon with thy service.
Nit.
I have fashion'd the meanes of your admitance.
Rom.
Pretious Nitido.
Nit.
More, have bethought me of a shape, a quaint one,
You may appeare in, safe and unsuspected.
Rom.
Th'art an ingenious boy.
Nit.
Beyond all this;
Have so contriv'd the feate, that at first sight,
Troylo himselfe shall court your entertainment:
Nay, force you to vouchsafe it.
Rom.
Th'ast out done all counsaile, and all cunning.
Nit.
True, I have sir
Fadg'd nimbly in my practises: but surely,
There are some certaine clogs, some roguish staggers,
Somewhat shall I call em in the busines?
Rom.
Nitido,
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What clogs? let me romove 'em.
Nit.
Am I honest
In this discovery?
Rom.
Honest, pish is that all?
By this rich purse, and by the twenty ducats
Which line it, I will answer for thy honesty,
Against all Jtalie, and prove it perfect.
Besides, remember, I am bound to secresie.
Thou't not betray thy selfe.
Nit.
All feares are clear'd then.
But if—
Rom.
If what? out with't.
Nit.
If w'are discover'd,
You'le answer I am honest still?
Rom.
Dost doubt it?
Nit.
Not much; I have your purse in pawne sort.
Now to the shape, and know the wits in Florence,
Who in the great Dukes court, buffoones his complement,
According to the change of meates in season,
At every free Lords table.
Rom.
Or free meetings
In Tavernes, there a' sits at the upper end,
And eates, and prates, a' cares not how nor what.
The very quaik of fashions, the very hee that
Weares a Steletto on his chinne.
Nit.
You have him.
Like such a thing must you appeare, and study
Amongst the Ladies in a formall foppery,
To vent some curiosity of language,
Above their appehensions, or your owne,
Indeed beyond sence, you are the more the person.
Now amorous, then scurvie, sometimes bawdy,
The same man still, but evermore phantasticall,
As being the suppositor to laughter:
It hath sav'd charge in physick.
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When occasion
Offers it selfe (for where it do's or not,
I will be bold to take it) I may turne
To some one in the company; and changing
My Method talke of state, and rayle against
Th'imployment of the time, mislike the carriage
Of places, and mislike that men of parts,
Of merit, such as my selfe am, are not
Thrust into publike action: 'twill set off
A privilege I challenge from opinion,
With a more lively current.
Nit.
On my Modesty,
You are some kin to him—Seignior Prugnioli!
Seignior Mushrumpo!
Leape but into his anticke garbe, and trust me
You'le fit it to a thought.
Rom.
The time?
Nit.
As suddenly
As you can be transform'd,—for the event,
'Tis pregnant.
Rom.
Yet my pretty knave, thou hast not
Discover'd where faire Castamela lives;
Nor how, nor amongst whome.
Nit.
Pish, it more Queres,?
Till your owne eyes informe, be silent, else
Take backe your earnest, what, turne woman? fie;
Be idle and inquisitive?
Rom.
No more.
I shall be speedily provided, aske for
A note at mine owne lodging.
Exit.
Nit.
Ile not fayle yee,
Assuredly, I wil not fayle you Seignior;
My fine inamorato—twenty duccats?
Th'are halfe his quarters incombe—love, oh love,
What a pure madnesse art thou? I shall fit him,
Fit, quit and split him too—most bounteous sir.
34
Troy.
Boy, thou art quicke and trustie,
Be withall close and silent, and thy paines
Shall meet a liberall addition.
Nit.
Though sir,
I'me but a child, yet you shall find me—
Troy.
man
In the contrivements; I will speake for thee.
Well 'adoes relish the disguise!
Nit.
Most greedily
Swallowes it with a licourish delight:
Will instantly be shap't in't, instantly.
And on my conscience, sir, the supposition
Strengthned by supposition, will transforme him
Into the beast it selfe 'a do's resemble.
Troy.
Spend that, and looke for more boy.
Nit.
Sir, it needs not:
I have already twenty Ducats pursed
In a gay case, 'las sir, to you, my service
Is but my duty.
Troy.
Modestie in Pages
Shewes not a vertue, boy, when it exceeds
Good manners. Where must we meet?
Nit.
Sir at's lodging,
Or neere about: he will make haste beleeve it.
Troy.
Waite th'opportunity, and give me notice.
I shall attend.
Nit.
If I misse my part, hang me.
Exit.
Enter Vospuci and Camillo.
Ves.
Come th'art caught Camillo.
Cam.
Away, away,
That were a jest indeed; I caught?
Ves.
The Lady
Does scatter glances, wheeles her round, and smiles;
Steales an occasion to aske how the minutes
35
All thy foure fingers, crowchest and sighst faintly:
Deere beauty, if my watch keep faire decorum,
Three quarters have neere past the figure X.
Or as the time of day goes—
Cam.
So Vespuci,
This will not doe, I reade it on thy forehead,
The graine of thy complexion is quite altered.
Once 'twas a comely browne, 'tis now of late
A perfect greene and yellow; sure prognosticates
Of th'over flux o'th gall, and melancholy,
Symptomes of love and jealousie, poore soule.
Quoth she, the she, why hang thy looks like bel-ropes
Out of the wheeles? thou flinging downe thy eyes
Low at her feete, replid'st, because, oh Soveraigne
The great bell of my heart is crack'd, and never
Can ring in tune againe, till't be new cast
By one only skilfull Foundresse.—here at
She turn'd aside, wink'd, thou stood'st still and stard'st
I did observ't, be plaine, what hope?
Vesp.
Shee loves thee;
Doates on thee: in my hearing told her Lord
Camillo was the Piramus and Thisbe
Of Courtship, and of complement: ah ha!
She nick'd it there. I envy not thy fortunes;
For to say truth, th'art hansome, and deserv'st her,
Were she as great againe as she is.
Cam.
I hansome?
Alas, alas, a creature of heavens making,
Ther's all! but sirrah, prithee let's be sociable;
I doe confesse, I thinke the goodee-madame
May possibly be compast; I resolve too,
To put in for a share; come what can come on't.
Vesp.
A pretty toy 'tis, since th'art open brested,
Camillo I presume she is wanton,
And therefore meane to give the sowse, when ever
36
Cam.
Let us consider,
Shee's but a merchants leavings.
Ves,
Hatch'd i'th countrey,
And fledg'd i'th City.
Cam.
'Tis a common custome
'Mongst friends (they are not friends else) chiefly gallants,
To trade by turnes in such like fraile commodities.
The one is but reversioner to tother.
Ves.
Why 'tis the fashion man.
Cam.
Most free and proper,
One Surgeon, one apothecarie,
Ves.
Thus then;
When I am absent, use the gentlest memory
Of my endowments, my unblemish't services
To Ladies favours: with what Faith and secresie,
I live in her commands, whose speciall curtesies,
Oblige me to particular engagements.
Ile doe as much for thee.
Cam.
With this addition
Camillo (best of faires) a man so bashfull,
So simply harmelesse, and withall so constant,
Yet resolute in all! true rights of honour;
That to deliver him in perfect character,
Were to detract from such a solid vertue
As raignes not in another soule—he is
Ves.
The thing a Mistresse ought to wish her servant;
Are we agreed?
Cam.
Most readily on tother side,
Unto the Lord her husband, talke as coursely
Of one another as we can.
Ves.
I like it, so shall we sift her love, and his opinion.
Enter Iulio, Flavia, and Fabritio.
Iulio.
Be thankfull (fellow) to a noble Mistresse;
Two hundred ducats are no trifling summe,
37
Fla.
You must not loyter lazily,
And speake about the towne my friend in tavernes,
In gaming houses, nor sneake after dinner
To publike shewes, to interludes, in riot,
To some lewd painted baggage, trick't up gawdily,
Like one of us; oh fie upon 'em giblets!
I have bin told they ride in coaches, flaunt it
In brave ries, so rich, that it is scarce possible
How to distinguish one of these vile naughty packs,
From true and arrant Ladies—they'le inveigle
Your substance and your body, thinke on that,
I say your body, looke to't.
Is't not sound counsell?
Ju.
'Tis more, 'tis heavenly.
Ves.
What hope Camillo now if this tune hold?
Cam.
Hope faire enough, Vespuci, now as ever:
Why any Woman in her husbands presence
Can say no lesse.
Ves.
T'is true, and she hath leave here.
Fab.
Madam, your care and charity at once,
Have so new moulded my resolves,
That henceforth when e're my mention
Fals into report,
It shall requite this bounty, I am travelling
To a new world.
Ju.
I like your undertakings.
Fla.
New world, where's that I pray? good, if you light on
A Parrot or a Monkey that has qualities
Of a new fashion, thinke on me.
Fab.
Yes, Lady
I, I shall thinke on you; and my devotions
Tendred where they are due in single meekenes,
With purer flames will mount with free increase
Of plenty, honors, full contents, full blessings,
Truth and affection twixt your Lord and you.
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Never as now I am to appeare before yee.
All joyes dwell here and lasting.
Exit.
Fla.
Prithee sweetest
Harke in your eare—beshrew't, the brim of your hat
Strucke in mine eye—Dissemble honest teares
The griefes my heart does labour in—smarts
Vnmeasurably.
Jul.
A chance, a chance, 'twill off;
Suddenly off, forbeare, this handkercher
But makes it worse.
Cam.
Wincke madam with that eye.
The paine will quickly passe.
Vesp.
Immediatly,
I know it by experience.
Fla.
Yes, I find it.
Iul.
Spare us a little Gentlemen: speak freely.
Ex. Ca. Ve.
What wer't thou saying deerest?
Fla.
Doe you love me?
Answer in sober sadnesse, I'me your wife now;
I know my place and power.
Jul.
What's this riddle?
Thou hast thy selfe reply'd to thine owne question,
In being marryed to me, a sure argument
Of more then protestation.
Fla.
Such it should be
Were you as other husbands: 'tis granted,
A woman of my state may like good cloaths,
Choyce dyet, many servants, change of merriments,
All these I doe enjoy; and wherefore not?
Great Ladies should command their owne delights,
And yet for all this, I am us'd but homely,
But I am serv'd even well enough.
Jul.
My Flavia
I understand not what thou would'st
Fla.
Pray pardon me;
39
Trust me indeed I am, for I could cry
Mine eyes out, being in the weeping humour:
You know I have a Brother.
Iv.
Romanello,
An unkinde Brother.
Fla.
Right, right, since you bosom'd
My latter youth, he never would vouchsafe
As much as to come neere me. Oh, it mads me,
Being but two, that we should live at distance;
As if I were a Cast-away, and you
For your part take no care on't, nor attempted
To draw him hither.
Iu.
Say the man be peevish,
Must I petition him?
Fla.
Yea marry must ye,
Or else you love not me; not see my Brother?
Yes I will see him, so I will, will see him.
You hear't,—oh my good Lord, deere gentle, prethee,
You shan't be angrie; 'las I know poore Gentleman,
A beares a troubled mind: but let us meete
And talke a little, we perhaps may chide
At first, shed some few teares, and then be quiet;
There's all.
Iu.
Write to him, and invite him hither,
Or goe to him thy selfe. Come, no more sadnesse,
Ile doe what thou canst wish.
Fla.
And in requitall,
Beleeve I shall say something that may settle
A constancie of peace, for which thoul't thanke me.
Exit.
Enter Secco and Spadone.
Secco.
The rarest fellow, Spadone, so full of gamballs, a
talkes so humorously, does a not, so carelessely? Oh rich!
ô, my hope of posterity! I could be in love with him.
Spadone.
His tongue troules like a Mill-clack: a towzes
the Lady sisters, as tumbling Dog does young Rabets;
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There's a tricke in the businesse; I am a dunce, else I say a
shrewd one.
Sec.
Iumpe with me, I smell a trick too, if I could tell
what.
Spa.
Who brought him in? that would be knowne?
Sec.
That did signior Troylo; I saw the Page part at the
doore; some trick still, go to Wife, I must and I will have
an eye to this geere.
Spa.
A plaine case, Roguery, Brokage and Roguery, or
call me Bulchin. Fancies, quoth a? rather Frenzies. We shall
all rore shortly: turne madcaps, lie open to what comes
first I may stand to't. That boy Page, is a naughty boy Page;
let me feele your forehead, ha, oh, hum,—yes—there,—there
againe; I'm sorry for ye, a hand-saw cannot cure ye, monstrous
and apparent.
Sec.
What, what, what, what, what Spadone?
Spa.
What what what what, nothing but Velvet tips
you are of the first head yet: have a good hart man, a Cuckold
though a be a Beast, weares invisible hornes; else we
might know a City Bull from a Countrey Calfe,—villanous
Boy still.
Sec.
My Razer shall be my weapon, my Razer.
Spa.
Why? hee's not come to the honour of a Beard
yet, he needs no shaving.
Sec.
I will trim him and tram him.
Spa.
Nay she may doe well enough for one.
Sec.
One, ten, a hundred, a thousand; ten thousand: doe
beyond Arithmetick Spadone, I speake it with some passion,
I am a notorious Cuckold.
Spa.
Grosse and ridiculous,—look ye, point blanck
I dare not sweare that this same Mountbancking newcome
foyst, is at least a procurer in the businesse; if not a
pretender himselfe: but I thinke what I thinke.
Sec.
Hee, Troylo, Livio, the Page, that hole-creeping
Page; all horne me sirrah; Ile forgive thee from my heart:
41
Spa.
A likely matter, 'las I'm Metamorphosed I, be patient
you'l marre all else.
Within.
Ha ha ha ha.
Sec.
Now, now, now, now, the games rampant, rampant.
Spa.
Leave your wild fegaries, and learne to be a tame
Antick, or Ile observe no longer.
Within.
Ha ha ha ha.
Enter Troylo, Castamela, Floria, Clarella Silvia, Morosa, and Romanello, like a Courtly Mountebanck.
Sil.
You are extremely busie signior.
Flo.
Courtlie,
Without a fellow.
Cla.
Have a stabbing wit.
Cast.
But are you alwaies, when you presse on Ladies
Of mild and easie nature, so much satyre;
So tart and keen as we doe taste ye now?
It argues a leane braine.
Rom.
Gip to your beauties,
You would be faire forsooth, you would be Monsters;
Faire Women are such, Monsters to bee seen
Are rare, and so are they.
Troy.
Beare with him Ladies.
Mor.
He is a foule-mouth'd man.
Sec.
Whore, bitch—Fox, treedle—fa la la la—
Mor.
How's that my Cat a Mountaine?
Spa.
Hold her there Boy.
Cla.
Were you ere in love fine Signior?
Rom.
Yes for sports sake;
But soone forgot it. He that rides a gallop
Is quickly weary. I esteem of Love
As of a man in some huge place; it puzzles
Reason, distracts the freedome of the soule;
Renders a wise man foole, and a foole wise
In's owne conceit, not else it yeelds effects
42
Thornes, roses; prayers, curses; longings, surfets;
Despaire, and then a rope: oh my trim lover,
Yes, I have loved a score at once.
Spa.
Out stallion, as I am a man and no man, the Baboon
lies I dare sweare abominably.
Sec.
Inhumanly,—keepe your bow close, vixen.
Mor.
Beshrew your fingers if you be in earnest:
You pinch too hard, go to, Ile pare your nailes for't.
Spa.
She meanes your hornes, there's a bob for you.
Cla.
Spruice Signior, if a man may love so many,
Why may not a faire Lady have like priviledge
Of several servants?
Troy.
Answer that, the reason
Holds the same weight.
Mor.
Marry and so it does,
Tho he would spit his gall out.
Spa.
Marke that Secco.
Sil.
De'e pumpe for a reply?
R.
The learned differ
In that point; grand and famous Schollers often
Have argued pro and con, and left it doubtfull;
Volumes have been writ on't. If then great Clerkes
Suspend their resolutions, 'tis a modestie
For me to silence mine.
Flo.
Dull and phlegmatick.
Cla.
Yet Women sure in such a case are ever
More secret then men are.
Sil.
Yea and talke lesse.
Rom.
That is a truth much fabled, never found
You secret? when your Dresses blab your vanities;
Carnation for your Points? there's a grosse babler:
Tawny, hey ho, the pretty heart is wounded.
A knot of Willow Ribbands she's forsaken?
Another rides the Cock-horse, green and azure,
Wince and cry wee hee like a Colt unbroken:
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When Lent spurres on Devotion, there's a famine:
Yet love and judgement may helpe all this pudder.
Where are they? not in females?
Flo.
In all sorts of men no doubt.
Sil.
Else they were sots to choose.
Cla.
To sweare and flatter, sometimes ly for profit.
Ro.
Not so forsooth, should love and judgement meet,
The old, the foole; the ugly and deform'd
Could never be beloved; for example,
Behold these two; this Madam and this shaver.
Mor.
I doe defie thee; am I old or ugly?
Sec.
Tricks, knacks, devices, now it troules about.
Rom.
Troule let it stripling, thou hast yet firme footing,
And needst not feare the Cuckolds livory.
There's good Philosophie fort, take this for comfort,
No horned Beasts have teeth in either gummes:
But thou art tooth'd on both sides, tho she faile in't.
Mor.
He's not jealous Sirrah.
Rom.
That's his Fortune,
Women indeed more jealous are then Men;
But men have more cause.
Spa.
There a rub'd your forehead, 'twas a tough blow.
Sec.
It smarts.
Mor.
Pox on him, let him
Put's finger into any Gums of mine,
He shall finde I have teeth about me, sound ones.
Sec.
You are a scurvie fellow, and I am made a Cokes,
an Asse; and this same filthy Cron's a flirt. Whope do me
no harme good Woman.
Exit Secco and Spadone.
Spa.
Now now he's in, I must not leave him so.
Troy.
Morosa, what meanes this?
Mor.
I know not I,
He pinched me, called me names, most filthy names.
Will ye part hence Sir, I will set ye packing.
Exit.
Cla.
You were indeed too broad, too violent.
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Here's nothing meant but mirth.
Sil.
The Gentleman
Hath been a little pleasant.
Cla.
Somewhat bitter
Against our sex.
Cast.
For which I promise him
A nere proves choise of mine.
Rom.
Not I your choice.
Troy.
So she protested Signior.
Rom.
Indeed.
Enters Morosa.
Cla.
Why you are mov'd Sir?
Mor.
Hence, there enters
A civiller companion for faire Ladies
Then such a sloven.
Ro.
Beauties.
Troy.
Time prevents us,
Love and sweet thoughts accompany this presence.
Enter Octavio, Secco whispering him, Livio and Nitido.
Octa.
Enough, slip off, and on your life be secret.
Exit Secco.
A lovely day, young creatures. To you Floria;
To you Clarella, Silvia, to all service:
But who is this faire stranger?
Li.
Castamela,
My Sister, noble Lord.
Oct.
Let ignorance
Of what you were, plead my neglect of manners,
And this soft touch excuse it, y'ave inriched
This little family (most excellent Virgin)
With th'honour of your company.
Cast.
I finde them
Worthily gracefull Sir.
Li.
Are ye so taken?
Oct.
Here are no publique sights nor Courtly visitants,
Which youth and active blood might stray in thought for:
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And rarely to be brook'd, perhaps by any;
Not perfectly acquainted with this custome,
Are they not lovely one?
Li.
Sir, I dare answer
My sisters resolution. Free converse
Amongst so many of her Sex, so vertuous,
She ever hath prefer'd before the surquedry
Of protestation, or the vainer giddinesse
Of popular attendants.
Musicke.
Cast.
Well playd Brother.
Oct.
The meaning of this Musicke.
Mor.
Please your Lordship,
It is the Ladies hower for exercise
In Song and Dance.
Oct.
I dare not be the Author
Of trewanting the time then, neither will I.
Mor.
Walke on deere Ladies.
Oct.
'Tis a taske of pleasure.
Li.
Be now my Sister, stand a triall bravely:
Mor.
Remember my instructions, or—
Exit. Manet Octa. and Castamela.
Oct.
With pardon.
You are not of the number I presume yet,
To be enjoyn'd to houres. If you please,
We for a little while may sit as Iudges
Of their proficience, pray vouchsafe the favour.
Cast.
I am Sir in a place to be commanded,
As now the present urgeth.
Oct.
No compulsion,
That were too hard a word; where you are Soveraigne
Your yea and nay is Law: I have a suit tee.
Cast.
For what Sir?
Oct.
For your love.
Cast.
To whom? I am not
So weary of th'authority I hold
46
That Ide reigne my liberty to any
Who should controule it.
Oct.
Neither I intend so,
Grant me an entertainment.
Cast.
Of what nature?
Oct.
To aknowledge me your creature.
Cast.
Oh my Lord.
You are too wise in yeeres, too full of counsaile
For my greene inexperience.
Oct.
Love deare Maid,
Is but desire of beauty, and 'tis proper
For beauty to desire to be belov'd.
I am not free from passion, tho the current
Of a more lively heate runnes slowly through me,
My heart is gentle, and beleeve fresh Girle:
Thou shalt not wish for any full addition,
Which may adorne thy rarities to boast em;
That bounty can, withhold this Academy.
Of silent pleasures is maintain'd, but onely
To such a constant use.
Cast.
You have belike then
A Patent for concealing Virgins, otherwise
Make plainer your intentions.
Oct.
To be pleasant
In practise of some outward sences onely
No more.
Cast.
No, worse you dare not to imagine;
Where such an awfull Innocencie, as mine is,
Out-faces every wickednesse, your dotage
Has lul'd you in. I scent your cruell mercies,
Your factresse hath been tampering for my misery;
Your old temptation; your shee-Devill—beare with
A language which this place, and none but this, hath
Infected my tongue with. The time will come too,
When he (unhappy man) whom your advancement
47
Will curse a train'd me hither.—Livio,
I must not call him Brother; this one act
Hath rent him off the ancestry he sprung from.
Oct.
The proffer of a noble courtesie
Is checkt it seemes.
Cast.
A courtesie? a bondage;
You are a great man vicious, much more vicious,
Because you hold a seeming league with charity
Of pestilent nature, keeping hospitality
For sensualists in your owne Sepulchre,
Even by your life time: yet are dead already.
Oct.
How's this, come be more mild.
Cast.
You chide me soberly,
Then Sir I tune my voice to other Musique;
You are an eminent statist, be a Father
To such unfriended Virgins, as your bounty
Hath drawn into a scandall, you are powerfull
In meanes. A Batchelour, freed from the jelousies
Of wants, convert this privacie of maintenance
Into your own Court: let this (as you call it)
Your Academy have a residence there;
And there survey your charity your selfe:
That when you shall bestow on worthy husbands
With fitting portions, such as you know worthie;
You may yeeld to the present age example,
And to posterity a glorious Chronicle:
There were a worke of piety: the other is
A scorne upon your Tombe-stone; where the Reader
Will but expound, that when you liv'd you pander'd
Your owne purse and your fame. I am too bold Sir,
Some anger and some pittie hath directed
A wandring trouble.
Oct.
Be not known what passages
The time hath lent, for once I can beare with yee.
Cast.
Ile countenance the hazzard of suspition.
48
Oct.
Be—but hereafter—
I know not what—Livio.
Enter Livio and Morosa.
Li.
My Lord.
Cast.
Indeed Sir
I cannot part we'e yet.
Oct.
Well then thou shalt not,
My pretious Castamela—thou hast a Sister,
A prefect Sister Livio.
Mor.
All is inck'd here
Good soule indeed.
Li.
Ide speake with you anon.
Cast.
It may be so.
Oct.
Come faire one.
Li.
Oh I am cheated.
Exeunt omnes.
| The Fancies Chast and Noble | |