University of Virginia Library


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TO MY COUSIN SHANDY, ON HIS COMING TO TOWN.

DEAR SHANDY,
You know there goes a tale,
How Jonas went aboard a whale,
Once for a frolic,
And the whale set sail
With a fair gale,
And got the cholic;
And after a great splutter
Spew'd him up, upon the coast,
Just like a woodcock on a toast,
With trail and butter.
I should have thought him much to blame,
Had he gone back the way he came.
So when you're over head and ears in debt,
You'll fume and fret;
When once you're wip'd clean, if you presume
To plunge yourself again, fret on and fume.
So when a man has lost his wife,
He makes a pother:

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But he deserves to lose his life,
If he will ever venture on another.
So when a miss just enters in her teens,
She makes a coil,
Because she knows not what she means;
—You lose your labour and your oil.
But by and by,
After you have taken your degrees,
If you will try,
You'll be install'd with ease,
And you may take a flight
Upright,
Like me,
And drop like Icarus into a vacant sea.
And so, because comparisons are odious,
Pray tell me plain,
Whether the theatre in Drury-lane,
Or that of York, is most commodious;
And, to oblige you,
I'll tell you a story of Elisha:—
As he was walking by a wood in sober sadness,

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Close by a mob of children stood,
Commenting on his sober mood,
And taking it for madness;
In their opinions
They hung together just like onions,
And back'd them, like such sort of folks,
With a few stones, and a few jokes;
Till, weary of their pelting and their prattle,
He order'd out his bears to battle;
It was delightful fun
To see them run
And eat up the young cattle.
Now, had Elisha chang'd the scene,
From thinking and walking
To drinking and talking,
Or any pleasant situation,
It would have cur'd the spleen,
And sav'd a lapidation.
Your affectionate cousin
Antony Shandy.