The toast An heroick poem: In four Books, Written originally in Latin, by Frederick Scheffer: Now done into English, and illustrated with Notes and Observations, by Peregrine Odonald [i.e. William King] |
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| 1. | BOOK THE FIRST. |
| 2. |
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| 4. |
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 | The toast |  |
BOOK THE FIRST.
Απεοντος δ' ουτις ενδειξεν λαχος ΑΕΛΙ'ΟΨ.
Pindar.
Nota magis nulli domus est sua, quam mihi Lucus
Martis, & Æoliis vicinum rupibus Antrum
Volcani.
Juvenal.
Martis, & Æoliis vicinum rupibus Antrum
Volcani.
Juvenal.
1
Sing, O Muse, Phœbus' Wrath! say what Cause could persuade
So polite a young God his own Toast to degrade.
In a Matron say how a new Furor began;
Who extended her Figure, and stretch'd it to Man.
So polite a young God his own Toast to degrade.
In a Matron say how a new Furor began;
Who extended her Figure, and stretch'd it to Man.
2
O resound the Utensil invented for Grilling!
Let it henceforth be Splendid as Philips his Shilling!
Tell us how 'twas apply'd to confound Calculation,
To enrich a great Artist and beggar a Nation:
Which to thy own Exchequer O--- translate,
To remain there confest the chief Engine of State.
Let it henceforth be Splendid as Philips his Shilling!
3
To enrich a great Artist and beggar a Nation:
Which to thy own Exchequer O--- translate,
To remain there confest the chief Engine of State.
To a Warrior of Fame my last Labours belong:
Who will ever refuse the great Warrior a Song?
Be sonorous the Lay, that no Grub may exceed it;
Nor a King may disdain at his Leisure to read it!
For a Combat I sing, by a Stratagem won,
And a Peruke which conquer'd as sure as a Gun:
Wond'rous Peruke, which Jove in his Sky should have plac'd,
Nearest where Berenice's fair Tresses are grac'd;
And have chang'd all the Curls into Ringlets of Stars,
Then have call'd 'em, The new Constellation of Mars.
Who will ever refuse the great Warrior a Song?
Be sonorous the Lay, that no Grub may exceed it;
Nor a King may disdain at his Leisure to read it!
4
And a Peruke which conquer'd as sure as a Gun:
Wond'rous Peruke, which Jove in his Sky should have plac'd,
Nearest where Berenice's fair Tresses are grac'd;
And have chang'd all the Curls into Ringlets of Stars,
Then have call'd 'em, The new Constellation of Mars.
While the Steeps of Parnass thus advent'rous I climb,
Mighty things, tho' unskilful, attempting in Rhyme,
On a Pegasus mount me—or aid me some God,
That unstumbling I tread in a Way that's untrod!
Mighty things, tho' unskilful, attempting in Rhyme,
5
That unstumbling I tread in a Way that's untrod!
O! my Captain, Arch-Collier, or thee shall I call
Vitriarious Volcan, or only plain Vol!
Cease thy Breath from thy Bottles awhile to aspire on
Me, the first of all Mortals, who sung thy Gridiron:
So may long last thy Pots! so may all thy new Glass,
Running smooth, as my Lines, Bristow Bottles surpass!
Vitriarious Volcan, or only plain Vol!
6
Me, the first of all Mortals, who sung thy Gridiron:
So may long last thy Pots! so may all thy new Glass,
Running smooth, as my Lines, Bristow Bottles surpass!
7
And O thou! whether most thou delightest to hear
Co-lonel or chief Huntsman, or Mars Chevalier,
Leave thy Doxies and Dogs, to attend to my Verse,
And protect me, while I thy own Battles rehearse.
So to read thy Memorial may Viceroy incline,
And a Pension bestow—or invite thee to dine!
Co-lonel or chief Huntsman, or Mars Chevalier,
8
And protect me, while I thy own Battles rehearse.
9
And a Pension bestow—or invite thee to dine!
Sol was now in the Ocean; his Horses were drest;
And the Houshold of Thetis was order'd to rest.
When his Godship, or curious to visit old Night,
To see how we supply the Defect of his Light;
Or perhaps to invent a new Subject for Mirth,
Took a Fancy to strole for one Evening on Earth.
But he dost all his Rays, and his Bow he laid down:
For a God by his Ensigns of Honour is known;
As an Idiot's distinguish'd by putting a Bib on,
And a great Chevalier by a Cross and a Ribbon.
Tho' the Magi assure us, the Sun is not proud,
Yet his Habit was made of the brightest blue Cloud
Well embroider'd, and spangled: He seem'd a mere Beau;
For he knew that fine Clothes are a Passport below.
Nor his Tresses neglected now flow in the Wind,
But were furl'd, and with Art in a Silk Bag confin'd.
Who of all the smart Toupees so graceful appears?
Who can please the Nymphs more by producing his—Ears?
From the Head of the Xiphias he cut off a Sword,
Fit to grace a new Mayor, tho' he's titled My Lord;
For the Handle was Pearl, and the Scabbard Shagreen;
And his Sword-Knot, unsully'd, had garter'd a Queen.
From a Tortoise-Shell Trident he shap'd a neat Cane,
With a Gold Head adorn'd, tho' the Work was but plain.
Shone his Shoes with Gold Buckles: Well lin'd were his Fobs
With a Watch of chas'd Gold, and a Purse of Gold Cobs.
Nor pronounce the good Muse, who bedights him, too bold:
For we know, when he pleases, the Sun can make Gold.
But he needs not to work, nor the Muse want a Plea;
For who doubts there is Plenty of Gold in the Sea?
Thus his Godship equipt sallies out from his Port,
And as swift, as a Triton, thro' Mare del Nort,
To thy Channel, O George! with a Spring-tide he flows;
And anon on Ierne's fair Island arose.
Still the Stairs may be seen, in the Deep far extended,
(Mighty Work of the Sea Gods!) by which he ascended,
Giants Causey—(For Sol, in his travelling Dress,
Hieroglyphical Giants are us'd to express.)
Over Mountains and Bogs, speeding hence in a Line,
He arriv'd at Port Eblane exactly at nine.
Here he travers'd the Streets, every Bridge and each Quay;
(For the Turnings he often had noted by Day.)
First the Lamps he examin'd, concave and convex;
How the same were supply'd, with their various Aspects:
But condemn'd the dull Glare, that would scarcely suffice
To direct a Night-walker, who wanted good Eyes:
He remark'd, that short Links serv'd to light home poor Wits;
That a Lanthorn mov'd slowly before the rich Cits:
That the Traders become by their drinking more dull,
And the Bards debonnair, when their Bellies are full.
To the God were more grateful the well scented Flames
Of the Flambeaux, conducting the Chairs of high Dames:
How inviting the Belles! how diffusive the Blaze!
How their Eyes—and the Glasses reflected the Rays!
But astonish'd he look'd, where his Excellence shone
In a Berlin, whose Guard was a counterfeit Moon:
Such an Orb, as a Deluge of Rain had endur'd,
Unextinguish'd by Winds, and by Clouds unobscur'd:
Phœbe views with much Envy a Rival so bright,
Who assumes her own Form, and eclipses her Light!
How the Streets were adorn'd, when his Godship had seen,
He would know, how the Houses were lighted within:
So to Court he repairs to make Observation;
For at Court must needs be the grand Illumination.
Here the Bougies and Tapers soon drew his Attention:
Much the Form he admir'd, much he prais'd the Invention.
Such a Radiance can Matter, thus moulded, display!
Can a Night-Beam be made to resemble the Day!
As if this was his Noon-tide, his Sight was as clear;
Nor himself could cause Objects more plainly appear.
He distinguish'd Lord John by his noble Greek Mien;
And observ'd all who circled the graceful Vice Queen:
Haughty Dames set with Di'monds, and stiffen'd with Gold;
Whom to dress for one Day half a County is sold:
Mitred Priests, who besides a good Conscience and Wise,
Here enjoy all the other good things of this Life:
Who refuse, what they ask, which to Lay-men sounds odd;
And are forc'd to accept, tho' the Gifts are of God,
Fair Revenues and Lordships: Hortensius and I know
That Episcopal Coaches are Jure Divino.
Then he view'd the fair Warriors, the Pride of ------
All be-powder'd a top, and be-broider'd all over;
Ever ready for Honour to hazard their Lives,
To repel all our Foes, and to solace our Wives.
And among 'em he noted a Wight of great Fame,
Who resembled the Heroes in colour and Name;
Bully Milo I wot, a huge B---x Chief,
Who derives both his Title and Prowess from Beef.
Then he mark'd the trim Pages, well skill'd in Intriguing;
And the noble Patricians Brib'd, Bribing and Briguing:
And the Patriots, whose Speeches are honest and bold;
Who are not to be bought—but with Places or Gold.
Next to these in Disguise stood a Dozen young Friers;
And a Group of Long Robe-men, Knights, Sergeants and Squires;
Solemn Sages, deep read in the Magic of Coke,
Who confound eve'ry Sense by explaining his Book:
In the Grant made to Adam would find out a Flaw,
And amend the great Fiat—according to Law.
And the Houshold of Thetis was order'd to rest.
10
To see how we supply the Defect of his Light;
Or perhaps to invent a new Subject for Mirth,
Took a Fancy to strole for one Evening on Earth.
But he dost all his Rays, and his Bow he laid down:
For a God by his Ensigns of Honour is known;
As an Idiot's distinguish'd by putting a Bib on,
And a great Chevalier by a Cross and a Ribbon.
Tho' the Magi assure us, the Sun is not proud,
Yet his Habit was made of the brightest blue Cloud
Well embroider'd, and spangled: He seem'd a mere Beau;
For he knew that fine Clothes are a Passport below.
11
But were furl'd, and with Art in a Silk Bag confin'd.
Who of all the smart Toupees so graceful appears?
Who can please the Nymphs more by producing his—Ears?
From the Head of the Xiphias he cut off a Sword,
Fit to grace a new Mayor, tho' he's titled My Lord;
For the Handle was Pearl, and the Scabbard Shagreen;
And his Sword-Knot, unsully'd, had garter'd a Queen.
From a Tortoise-Shell Trident he shap'd a neat Cane,
With a Gold Head adorn'd, tho' the Work was but plain.
Shone his Shoes with Gold Buckles: Well lin'd were his Fobs
With a Watch of chas'd Gold, and a Purse of Gold Cobs.
12
For we know, when he pleases, the Sun can make Gold.
But he needs not to work, nor the Muse want a Plea;
For who doubts there is Plenty of Gold in the Sea?
Thus his Godship equipt sallies out from his Port,
And as swift, as a Triton, thro' Mare del Nort,
To thy Channel, O George! with a Spring-tide he flows;
And anon on Ierne's fair Island arose.
Still the Stairs may be seen, in the Deep far extended,
(Mighty Work of the Sea Gods!) by which he ascended,
Giants Causey—(For Sol, in his travelling Dress,
Hieroglyphical Giants are us'd to express.)
13
He arriv'd at Port Eblane exactly at nine.
Here he travers'd the Streets, every Bridge and each Quay;
(For the Turnings he often had noted by Day.)
First the Lamps he examin'd, concave and convex;
How the same were supply'd, with their various Aspects:
But condemn'd the dull Glare, that would scarcely suffice
To direct a Night-walker, who wanted good Eyes:
He remark'd, that short Links serv'd to light home poor Wits;
That a Lanthorn mov'd slowly before the rich Cits:
That the Traders become by their drinking more dull,
And the Bards debonnair, when their Bellies are full.
14
Of the Flambeaux, conducting the Chairs of high Dames:
How inviting the Belles! how diffusive the Blaze!
How their Eyes—and the Glasses reflected the Rays!
But astonish'd he look'd, where his Excellence shone
In a Berlin, whose Guard was a counterfeit Moon:
Such an Orb, as a Deluge of Rain had endur'd,
Unextinguish'd by Winds, and by Clouds unobscur'd:
Phœbe views with much Envy a Rival so bright,
Who assumes her own Form, and eclipses her Light!
How the Streets were adorn'd, when his Godship had seen,
He would know, how the Houses were lighted within:
So to Court he repairs to make Observation;
For at Court must needs be the grand Illumination.
Here the Bougies and Tapers soon drew his Attention:
Much the Form he admir'd, much he prais'd the Invention.
Such a Radiance can Matter, thus moulded, display!
Can a Night-Beam be made to resemble the Day!
15
Nor himself could cause Objects more plainly appear.
He distinguish'd Lord John by his noble Greek Mien;
And observ'd all who circled the graceful Vice Queen:
Haughty Dames set with Di'monds, and stiffen'd with Gold;
Whom to dress for one Day half a County is sold:
Mitred Priests, who besides a good Conscience and Wise,
Here enjoy all the other good things of this Life:
16
And are forc'd to accept, tho' the Gifts are of God,
Fair Revenues and Lordships: Hortensius and I know
That Episcopal Coaches are Jure Divino.
Then he view'd the fair Warriors, the Pride of ------
All be-powder'd a top, and be-broider'd all over;
Ever ready for Honour to hazard their Lives,
To repel all our Foes, and to solace our Wives.
And among 'em he noted a Wight of great Fame,
Who resembled the Heroes in colour and Name;
17
Who derives both his Title and Prowess from Beef.
Then he mark'd the trim Pages, well skill'd in Intriguing;
And the noble Patricians Brib'd, Bribing and Briguing:
And the Patriots, whose Speeches are honest and bold;
Who are not to be bought—but with Places or Gold.
Next to these in Disguise stood a Dozen young Friers;
And a Group of Long Robe-men, Knights, Sergeants and Squires;
Solemn Sages, deep read in the Magic of Coke,
Who confound eve'ry Sense by explaining his Book:
18
And amend the great Fiat—according to Law.
Ev'ry Belle he survey'd, gave the God new Delight,
And inclin'd him to stay in the Castle all Night:
When, to others unseen, roguish Cupid he spies,
Shooting Arrows at random from Clara's bright Eyes:
Rigid Dame! whom his Youth, nor his Voice might persuade,
By her Conquests unmov'd, or the Wounds she had made.
Hard the Fate of a Lover! Winds temper the Heat;
And our Hunger is quickly appeas'd, if we eat:
Water quenches the Thirst: Wine our Cares will remove:
But, alas! Love is only extinguish'd by Love.
Well experienc'd, the God to secure his own Heart,
Lest again he be Daphne'd, resolv'd to depart:
And in Night-Scenes intent to accumulate Knowledge,
He propos'd to examine each Room in the College:
He had heard of hard Students destroy'd by Night-Damps;
And had read many Authors, that smelt of the Lamps:
But retiring in haste, when they open'd the Ball,
In the Guard Room he jostled Sir Mars and old Vol:
And by Contact one God can discover another;
As a learned Free-Mason by Signs knows a Brother.
Now Sir Mars and old Vol (who had oft been forgiven)
For repeated Offences were exiled from Heaven;
On the Earth for some Ages condemn'd to abide,
And imbodied as Mortals, in Flesh to be try'd:
Casuistical Sages have offer'd great Odds,
That they ne'er will return to th'Assembly of Gods.
But Inquiries sublime, so far out of thy reach,
O! my Muse leave to Clerks, who are skilful to preach:
And proceed now to say, How polite was Sol's Greeting!
How rejoic'd the Vejovites at such a Chance-Meeting!
Mars invited the Stranger to sup in the Park.
“'Tis too far, (quoth the Collier) too late and too dark:
“For the Purpose what Place is so fit as a Tavern?”
And without a Word more he led on to the Cavern,
Where so oft he vouchsafes with his Trulla to dine;
And where, Nectar surpassing, he promis'd old Wine.
Now the Supper bespoke, the Trium-dei sate;
Mars began to ask Questions concerning the State.
And inclin'd him to stay in the Castle all Night:
When, to others unseen, roguish Cupid he spies,
Shooting Arrows at random from Clara's bright Eyes:
Rigid Dame! whom his Youth, nor his Voice might persuade,
By her Conquests unmov'd, or the Wounds she had made.
Hard the Fate of a Lover! Winds temper the Heat;
And our Hunger is quickly appeas'd, if we eat:
Water quenches the Thirst: Wine our Cares will remove:
But, alas! Love is only extinguish'd by Love.
Well experienc'd, the God to secure his own Heart,
Lest again he be Daphne'd, resolv'd to depart:
And in Night-Scenes intent to accumulate Knowledge,
He propos'd to examine each Room in the College:
19
And had read many Authors, that smelt of the Lamps:
But retiring in haste, when they open'd the Ball,
In the Guard Room he jostled Sir Mars and old Vol:
And by Contact one God can discover another;
As a learned Free-Mason by Signs knows a Brother.
Now Sir Mars and old Vol (who had oft been forgiven)
For repeated Offences were exiled from Heaven;
On the Earth for some Ages condemn'd to abide,
And imbodied as Mortals, in Flesh to be try'd:
Casuistical Sages have offer'd great Odds,
That they ne'er will return to th'Assembly of Gods.
But Inquiries sublime, so far out of thy reach,
O! my Muse leave to Clerks, who are skilful to preach:
And proceed now to say, How polite was Sol's Greeting!
How rejoic'd the Vejovites at such a Chance-Meeting!
20
“'Tis too far, (quoth the Collier) too late and too dark:
“For the Purpose what Place is so fit as a Tavern?”
And without a Word more he led on to the Cavern,
Where so oft he vouchsafes with his Trulla to dine;
And where, Nectar surpassing, he promis'd old Wine.
Now the Supper bespoke, the Trium-dei sate;
Mars began to ask Questions concerning the State.
21
“Who has now the Ascendant in Jupiter's House?
“Does the Monarch grow old, and submit to his Spouse?
“Who is most in his Favour, young Ganny or Hebe?
“Has he found a fit Match for his Daughter Miss Phœbe?
“Are your Triple Alliances like to stand good?
“Are the Titan Pretenders yet wholly subdu'd?
“Was there not a new Star very lately call'd forth?
“For methinks I espy a young Bear in the North.
“Can you tell a new Tale of a Jove-Transformation?
“Or intriguing that Way, is it grown out of Fashion?
“Modern Spinsters, experienc'd in all Masquerade,
“Will no more by a Bull or a Swan be betray'd;
“But resistless the Pow'r, tho' the Figure be old,
“Which addresses the Dame in a Shower of Gold.”
“Does the Monarch grow old, and submit to his Spouse?
“Who is most in his Favour, young Ganny or Hebe?
“Has he found a fit Match for his Daughter Miss Phœbe?
“Are your Triple Alliances like to stand good?
“Are the Titan Pretenders yet wholly subdu'd?
22
“For methinks I espy a young Bear in the North.
“Can you tell a new Tale of a Jove-Transformation?
“Or intriguing that Way, is it grown out of Fashion?
“Modern Spinsters, experienc'd in all Masquerade,
“Will no more by a Bull or a Swan be betray'd;
“But resistless the Pow'r, tho' the Figure be old,
“Which addresses the Dame in a Shower of Gold.”
He proceeds next enquiring, “What Gods are assign'd
“To be Tutelars here, and to govern Mankind?
“Are our Kindred intent to preserve, and destroy
“Mighty Kings, and their Kingdoms, as whilom at Troy?
“Who has ta'en from the Persian Usurper his Trophies?
“Who so kind to restore the old Race of the Sophies?
“Who so wide has extended the Austr'an Domain?
“Who instructed in King-craft the Donna of Spain?
“Who permitted the Romans to Fawn and Deceive?
“Who has fix'd the light Gaul, and has taught him to Weave?
“Who bestow'd on Britannia so potent a Fleet?
“Why so fearless her Sons—but unskilful to Treat?
“Have the Dutch any Gods? or—perhaps they don't want 'em,
“Since so faithful are found the good Pagods of Bantam?
“Why are Men of Ierne depriv'd of all Trade;
“Nor a Patron allow'd, but the Saint they have made;
“Who is ever controul'd by the Speech of Vice-King;
“Nor has yet obtain'd leave to restore his own Spring?
“Ah! if thus ye reject your own People's Complaints,
“And to Mortals subject the good Lares and Saints:
“Even Pro-Excellencies will rule us with Rods,
“And your Vice-Roys will fancy, that they are Vice-Gods.”
“To be Tutelars here, and to govern Mankind?
23
“Mighty Kings, and their Kingdoms, as whilom at Troy?
“Who has ta'en from the Persian Usurper his Trophies?
“Who so kind to restore the old Race of the Sophies?
“Who so wide has extended the Austr'an Domain?
“Who instructed in King-craft the Donna of Spain?
“Who permitted the Romans to Fawn and Deceive?
“Who has fix'd the light Gaul, and has taught him to Weave?
“Who bestow'd on Britannia so potent a Fleet?
“Why so fearless her Sons—but unskilful to Treat?
“Have the Dutch any Gods? or—perhaps they don't want 'em,
“Since so faithful are found the good Pagods of Bantam?
“Why are Men of Ierne depriv'd of all Trade;
“Nor a Patron allow'd, but the Saint they have made;
24
“Nor has yet obtain'd leave to restore his own Spring?
“Ah! if thus ye reject your own People's Complaints,
“And to Mortals subject the good Lares and Saints:
“Even Pro-Excellencies will rule us with Rods,
“And your Vice-Roys will fancy, that they are Vice-Gods.”
Unconcern'd, as unactive in War or in Peace,
(So the Danger's remote, and himself be at Ease,)
Heavy Vol, looking wisely, then casting side-leer,
Only ask'd a few Questions, and all with a Sneer.
“Who above are your Smiths? Are they Drunkards or Fools,
“Who, usurping my Forges, have spoil'd all my Tools?
“How dishonour'd is Jove by their Bungling and Blunders?
“For the Darts that fall here, are but second-rate Thunders.
“When our Brother Mars bellows, more dreadful the Voice!
“Or when Elrington thunders, he makes as much Noise!
“Proper Weapons can such Operators devise
“For the Blue-ey'd Virago, so curious and nice?
“I'm assur'd, that the Ægis is cover'd with Rust,
“That the Gorgon's Head now only serves for a Bust.
“Vol is gone, and there is not another has Skill
“To restore the dire Look, or its Virtue to kill!
“But for thee, my good Phœbus, is chiefly my Care:
“Who thy Axle can mend, when 'tis out of Repair?
“Much I fear, that the Work is but clumsily done:
“For I've lately remark'd many Spots in the Sun.
“For the rest—If you mind our Affairs here below,
“Or to chance leave the World, I'm not curious to know.
“This I know, as Mars hinted, all Nations complain,
“That ye seldom are present, where Lieutenants reign.
“Little differs their Rule in the East or the West:
“Whether Bashaw or Viceroy—the Subject's opprest:
“And the Gods in their Wrath never yet made two Things,
“That are so much alike as two Deputy ------.”
(So the Danger's remote, and himself be at Ease,)
Heavy Vol, looking wisely, then casting side-leer,
Only ask'd a few Questions, and all with a Sneer.
25
“Who, usurping my Forges, have spoil'd all my Tools?
“How dishonour'd is Jove by their Bungling and Blunders?
“For the Darts that fall here, are but second-rate Thunders.
26
“Or when Elrington thunders, he makes as much Noise!
“Proper Weapons can such Operators devise
“For the Blue-ey'd Virago, so curious and nice?
“I'm assur'd, that the Ægis is cover'd with Rust,
“That the Gorgon's Head now only serves for a Bust.
“Vol is gone, and there is not another has Skill
“To restore the dire Look, or its Virtue to kill!
27
“Who thy Axle can mend, when 'tis out of Repair?
“Much I fear, that the Work is but clumsily done:
“For I've lately remark'd many Spots in the Sun.
28
“Or to chance leave the World, I'm not curious to know.
“This I know, as Mars hinted, all Nations complain,
“That ye seldom are present, where Lieutenants reign.
“Little differs their Rule in the East or the West:
“Whether Bashaw or Viceroy—the Subject's opprest:
“And the Gods in their Wrath never yet made two Things,
“That are so much alike as two Deputy ------.”
Thus the Collier. But Phœbus, unapt to disclose
The Arcana of Heaven, or enlighten Jove's Foes,
Here observ'd the wise Rule of Political Men,
And reply'd to their Questions, by asking agen;
“How they far'd in flesh-clothing, and how at such distance,
“By the Gods unassisted, they got a Subsistence?
“Are the Dons of Ierne averse to a Stranger?
“Is the Warrior disarm'd, and but only a Ranger?
“Still Unpension'd is Vol forc'd to drudge in a Hole,
“Or to melt down old Bottles, or mete out bad Coal?
“I surmise things go ill, if 'tis lawful to guess
“By the Plight of your Bodies, Attendants and Dress.
“And a dear-bought Experience has taught me to know,
“Tho' Divine are our Talents, they're useless below.
“We are only rais'd high, that our Fall may be greater:
“And a God in Disgrace is a very poor Creature.
“For my Wisdom so fam'd, and so tuneful a Bard,
“Was not I once reduc'd to a simple Cow-herd?
“Nor my Temples or Priests might a Refuge afford;
“For my Living I work'd, where I then was ador'd.”
The Arcana of Heaven, or enlighten Jove's Foes,
29
And reply'd to their Questions, by asking agen;
“How they far'd in flesh-clothing, and how at such distance,
“By the Gods unassisted, they got a Subsistence?
“Are the Dons of Ierne averse to a Stranger?
“Is the Warrior disarm'd, and but only a Ranger?
“Still Unpension'd is Vol forc'd to drudge in a Hole,
“Or to melt down old Bottles, or mete out bad Coal?
“I surmise things go ill, if 'tis lawful to guess
“By the Plight of your Bodies, Attendants and Dress.
“And a dear-bought Experience has taught me to know,
“Tho' Divine are our Talents, they're useless below.
“We are only rais'd high, that our Fall may be greater:
“And a God in Disgrace is a very poor Creature.
30
“Was not I once reduc'd to a simple Cow-herd?
“Nor my Temples or Priests might a Refuge afford;
“For my Living I work'd, where I then was ador'd.”
Vol, observing the Knight eat his Nails, and grow pale,
(Ugly Omen! Presage of a long winded Tale!)
Sudden answer'd: “Tho' now my good Brother looks mean,
“Pray review him to-morrow array'd in his Green;
“When he mounts his Pad-Nag, and assumes a new Grace;
“When he rides (how undaunted!) directing the Chace:
“Thus acquiring at sixty more Honour unsought,
“Than he got by his Battles,—tho' furious he fought.
“He has now slung his Arms—and his Pension is scant:
“Yet so wide his Domain, that he never can want.
“To his Office appendant are delicate Fees;
“And he sits, the Chief Umbra, at Feasts of Grandees.—
“As for me—had Apollo consulted his Books;
“Would he judge an old Smith by his Habit and Looks?
“Ought a Wight who is banish'd to make a fine Shew?
“Who above would contain to see Volcan a Beau?
“Yet allow to my Labours the Honour that's due:
“If I melt down old Bottles, I likewise make new.
“Be the Metal despis'd, yet I cause it to pass;
“And for Silver and Gold I can barter my Glass.
“If the Fuel be bad, which my Coal-Mine produces,
“It is sold at low Rates, and it serves for all Uses.
“Lo! the great Legislators encourage my Trade;
“And remember no more the Misreck'nings I made.
“While the Holyday Youths my Volcanos admire,
“And, unknowing, confess me the Father of Fire.
“Thus among the Sicilians, when first I appear'd;
“Ere the Mountain had flam'd, or my Thunder was heard;
“Twas in vain to point upwards, and boast of my Race;
“For they laugh'd me to Scorn, when they look'd in my Face:
“Yet, my Speech tho' ungraceful, and Figure so odd,
“When I open'd my Shop, they confess'd me a God.
(Ugly Omen! Presage of a long winded Tale!)
Sudden answer'd: “Tho' now my good Brother looks mean,
“Pray review him to-morrow array'd in his Green;
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“When he rides (how undaunted!) directing the Chace:
“Thus acquiring at sixty more Honour unsought,
“Than he got by his Battles,—tho' furious he fought.
“He has now slung his Arms—and his Pension is scant:
“Yet so wide his Domain, that he never can want.
“To his Office appendant are delicate Fees;
“And he sits, the Chief Umbra, at Feasts of Grandees.—
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“Would he judge an old Smith by his Habit and Looks?
“Ought a Wight who is banish'd to make a fine Shew?
“Who above would contain to see Volcan a Beau?
“Yet allow to my Labours the Honour that's due:
“If I melt down old Bottles, I likewise make new.
“Be the Metal despis'd, yet I cause it to pass;
“And for Silver and Gold I can barter my Glass.
“If the Fuel be bad, which my Coal-Mine produces,
“It is sold at low Rates, and it serves for all Uses.
“Lo! the great Legislators encourage my Trade;
“And remember no more the Misreck'nings I made.
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“And, unknowing, confess me the Father of Fire.
“Thus among the Sicilians, when first I appear'd;
“Ere the Mountain had flam'd, or my Thunder was heard;
“Twas in vain to point upwards, and boast of my Race;
“For they laugh'd me to Scorn, when they look'd in my Face:
34
“When I open'd my Shop, they confess'd me a God.
“But a serious Discourse, now we're met to carouse,
“Will defeat our Design, and dishonour the House:
“Nor ought I, in the Presence of Phœbus, to boast.”
So he fill'd up his Glass, and demanded a Toast.
“Will defeat our Design, and dishonour the House:
“Nor ought I, in the Presence of Phœbus, to boast.”
So he fill'd up his Glass, and demanded a Toast.
| The toast | |