University of Virginia Library

Grass Roots

Mr. Kilo, who spent his youth on
the Mainline in Philadelphia before
tripping to the Haight, was
quoted as saying, "We plan to get
to the grass roots of this issue."

Aiding Mr. and Mrs. Kilo in
their investigation is a team of
federal investigators, all well-versed
in the detection and apprehension
of heads. Following are biographical
sketches of the other squad
members:

Philip Morris—Mr. Morris was
born on a dirt farm near Chapel
Hill, North Carolina, but he did
not let the proximity deter him
from becoming a well known captain
of industry and object of
numerous pagings in hotel lobbies.
Indeed, the cry "Call for Philip
Morris" has instilled fear in the
hearts of many heads who knew
that when they heard it, ace agent
Morris had received another tip.
He decided to leave his position in
industry and go to work for the
narcs because, as he put it, "I felt
that I had to do something to prevent
this noxious weed from ruining
the health of the nation's
young people."