1. CHAPTER I.
Having got through this long introduction
which may resemble that species of
pompion they call a quashaw, whose neck
is longer than the whole body; I say resemble
it, for it will not be altogether like
it, as it will not be more at most, than a
third of the work. However it has been
long enough, in all conscience. We hasten
to the sequel of the adventures of the
Captain, and Teague his servant.
It will be recollected, that pestered with
the preposterous ambition of the bog-trotter;
the Captain, by the advice of a
gentleman, had consented to let him try
his luck of getting into some employment
under government.
However; after reflecting with himself,
a long time on the subject, he could not
help expressing to the gentleman, with
whom he was still in conversation, his
doubt of the success of such pretensions.
Said he, after all, I do not see, how it
can be reasonable to suppose that he can
come to any great height, in state affairs:
He is totally illiterate and uncultivated.
As to that, said the gentleman, it is no
reason at all. Do we not read in history
of persons of the lowest education who
have risen to the greatest heights both in
the civil, and military line. Butcher's
sons, keepers of pigs, feeders of sheep,
traffickers in small wares, have come to
be Cardinals, Popes, and ministers of
state. That impuse of mind which he discovers
to be something, indicates a capacity
of being so. We seldom find in men,
a strong desire of obtaining any thing
which depends on human power, who have
not been able to obtain it. Hence it has
been said, that let a man determine to be
Lord Mayor of London, and he may arrive
at that dignity.
The Captain yielding to the reasons,
began to think, in what manner, it might
be proper, to give him an introduction,
and bring him forward; whether to endeavor
to cultivate an acquaintance with
some members of Congress, or the heads
of departments, such as the Secretary of
the Treasury, of State, at War, &c. or
to begin with some of the subordinate
clerks, and rise gradually to the knowledge
of the principals.
This, said the gentleman, would be
beginning at the wrong end. These people
must naturally be jealous, especially of
such as appear to have talents; not knowing
but that in time they may come to supercede
them. The most adviseable way
is to attack the head at once: Present him
at the levee of the President, and make
him known to the Chief Magistrate. This
is going to the fountain, and not depending
on the streams, that divide among themselves;
and sometimes sink in the earth,
and disappear.
Having been once seen at court, he will
acquire friends; and the President himself,
can with more propriety take notice of
him.
But would it not be necessary, said the
Captain, before we undertake to present
him at the levee of the President, that I
should have him rubbed down, and cloathed
a little better than he is at present.
Not at all, said the gentleman. It will
be best to present him, puris naturalibus,
just as he is, without brogues; in his over-alls,
with that long coat and slouched hat,
which you have given him to wear. The
President seeing him as he is, will imagine
what he may be, when he comes to be
dressed off in a suitable manner; and imagination
always out-goes the reality. Besides;
unless he had been accustomed for
some time to good cloathing, he will appear
aukward in it, and move with pain
to himself, and to others. Take a country
girl that is neat enough in her short
gown and petticoat, and put her in a fine
silk with stays, and she will appear to
much less advantage. A clown in his
jacket and trowsers, is respectable; but
in a broadcloth coat, with suitable habiliments,
he would move ridicule.
Governed by these observations, the
Captain proposed to take Teague to the
levee the next evening.
