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Poems on Several Occasions

In Two Volumes. By Mr. Joseph Mitchell

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THE MEMORIAL:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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THE MEMORIAL:

An ODE (Being the last Poetical Petition)

To the Right Honourable Sir ROBERT WALPOLE, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter.

The Sum of all I have to say,
Is, Please to put me in a Way,
And your Petitioner shall pray.
Prior.

I.

For Years had Walpole, good and great,
Upheld and grac'd the British State,
Ere any Bard of Skill and Spirit
Attempted to record his Merit!

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II.

I, blushing for my Brothers Shame,
And wond'ring at his Worth and Fame,
With Caledonian Bravery, durst
Petition and proclaim Him, first.

III.

Then Eusden, Beckingham, and Young,
Yea, D---d---g---n, et cætera, sung—
Lord! what Epistles, and what Odes,
Extoll'd his Honour to the Gods!

IV.

But Walpole well their Value knows,
And what chief End the Bards propose;
Nor will He give them Place, or Pension,
While his own Mitchell make Pretension.

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V.

What tho' my Fortune's less severe,
Since You have join'd with generous Stair
To crown my Muse, and kill my Care—
This daring Soul will never rest,
'Till I'm a Senator, at Least!

VI.

Ambition, manag'd well by Reason,
Can hardly deviate into Treason:
Mine is to do a World of Good,
Else I'd be pleas'd with Agur's Food.

VII.

The Common-weal I have at Heart;
Unbrib'd, I'd act a Patriot's Part;
And, by my gratis Zeal and Votes,
Atone for five and forty S---ts.

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VIII.

Some Souls, originally bright,
Need only to be brought to Light:
Draw but aside this Veil of mine,
You'll see how gloriously I'll shine!

IX.

Prior had ne'er been Plenipo;
Nor Stepney, Addison, and Rowe,
Made such an high and mighty Show;
Had no Mæcenas mark'd their Worth,
And to Advantage set them forth.

X.

Who knows what Figure I might cut,
Were I but in Commission put,
Now Kings and Queens go by the Ears,
And States beat up for Voluntiers?

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XI.

Many a despicable Elf,
Far more unlikely than my Self,
In Peace, or War, has Wonders done—
—But, 'till one's try'd, He's never known.

XII.

Then, noble Patron, weigh the Case,
And put Me, while You can, in Place;
For certes Life and Power are Things,
Which always had, and will have, Wings.

XIII.

It is not Money, Sir, I seek;
(Tho' that's the same Thing in the Greek)
But an Employment, that may fit
Alike my Virtue and my Wit.

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XIV.

What Joy, or Sorrow, will the News
Of Walpole's Treatment of the Muse
Thro' all the Elysian Plains diffuse,
When I to kindred Shades relate
The Story of my Life and Fate?

XV.

When Britons, yet unborn, shall view
The List of Men, preferr'd by You,
(Which all our Chronicles will shew)
Who knows but they'll make bold to blame
Your Honour, shou'd they miss my Name?
Then shining high in deathless Fame!

XVI.

'Twou'd vex a Saint, to have it said,
By future Burnetts, when we're dead,

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That Walpole did a World of Good—
—But pass'd his Poet in the Crowd,
As one He never understood.

XVII.

But, if the Government is full,
And not one Post at present null,
Some Vacancies will, weekly, fall—
Your Vote and Interest, Sir, is all!

XVIII.

Congreve, the darling Wit and Friend,
Is ill (alas!) and near his End—
Whene'er He gains our kindred Skies,
Let Mitchell to his Honours rise—

XIX.

Or, if his Secretary's Place
Is promis'd—which may be the Case—

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Other Reversions are not scant—
Pass but some promissory Grant—
Your Word's a Bond! and all I want!

XX.

Mean while, with Patience, Faith and Hope,
I'll wait, and versify with Pope;
And, now and then, with Watts and Stevens,
Pray for Reversion in the Heavens.

XXI.

But shou'd capricious Fortune frown,
And cross my Way to wish'd Renown,
I'll learn, revengeful, to despise her,
And leave the Court, like Uncle Sizer.

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XXII.

What Soul of Sense wou'd still depend,
Who has a Plough, or Flock, to tend?
Rather than sue in vain, I'd take a
Desperate Voyage to Jamaica.

XXIII.

Nay, prove my Fortune bad, or better,
Be this my last Poetic Letter;
For, truly, 'tis a Jest to teaze Him,
Who will do just as it shall please Him.

XXIV.

Then, tho' deny'd, I'll be at Rest,
And of my Income make the Best:
But, rather without Straw raise Brick,
Then at our Constitution kick.

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XXV.

I'll ne'er like W---rt---n, Malecontent,
Affront the King, or Government:
Nor C---st---ld, and P---lt---y too,
(Tho' honourable Men, and true)
Shall influence Me to bark at You.

XXVI.

When I prove Traitor, or Ingrate,
Let Stair forget the Arts of State,
Let King turn base, Ophelia froward,
The brave Argyle commence a Coward,
And Charms abandon Madam H---

XXVII.

But, ah! must Loyalty and Love
Neglected, vain, and useless prove?

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Shall Merit unrewarded pass?
And Mitchell look so like an Ass?

XXVIII.

In London let it not be told,
From Edinburgh the Tale with-hold,
Lest Blockheads, Fools, and Knaves grow glad,
And Bards and Criticks run stark mad.
 

The Sine-Cure, The Equivalent, &c.

Give me neither Poverty, nor Riches: but feed me with Food convenient for me. Prov. xxx. 8.

Mr. Congreve is Secretary to the Government of Jamaica.

Roger Sizer, Esq; who was first Pay-master of the Army Abroad, and afterwards of the Houshold, in King William's Reign; but at Queen Anne's Accession to the Throne (when He met with some Disappointments) left both Court and Town for Ever.

Mrs. Mitchel.

Tell it not in GATH, publish it not in the Streets of Askelon, lest the Philistines rejoyce, and the uncircumcised triumph, 2 Sam. i. 20.