CHIEF OF SINNERS.
“Jesus came to save sinners, of whom I am chief.”
1 Tim. i. 15.
Low in the dust, oh! let me lie,
And heavenward lift my asking eye,
Till Christ becalm with lenient gaze
The pang which on my conscience preys.
The more I think, the more I feel
This heart hath proved in woe and weal
A Cain-like rebel to my God,
Whate'er the path experience trod.
My past appears one blended crime,
Extending through all scene and time,
And well may conscience quail to see
How Self dethroned the Deity!
Ay, Self has proved the spring of all
Enamour'd eyes perfection call;
Thought, will and motive, deed and word,
In each vile Self has been preferr'd.
Here is the Upas-blast of sin!
The poison-blight which burns within,
The venom'd source of vicious life,
With treason to the Godhead rife.
'Tis Self by whose defiling breath
The soul deserves eternal death;
A taint whose omnipresent power
Contaminates man's purest hour.
It matters not, what form it takes,
When human will our God forsakes:—
The essence of all sin we find,
Not in the flesh, but in the mind.
When passions nurse their lava-fires,
Or Belial lust the blood inspires,
Or vice, and vulgar riot reign,
There Self reveals its coarser stain.
But may not sin defile that soul
Where bland refinement wields control,
While art, and taste, and beauty dwell,
And Culture charms with graceful spell?
Yes, there while nature's glories rise
To fascinate our partial eyes,
And painting, poetry, and speech,
A throne of regal magic reach,
While private zeal, or public worth
Adorns the land which gives them birth,
Believe not, in this bright display,
That Sin and Self have died away!
Yea, rather may refinement shroud
A godless will beneath a cloud,
And lull the conscience, till it fail
To know if God, or man, prevail.
Thus, “chief of sinners!” forms the cry
Of all who see with inward eye
That self is sin, howe'er disguised,
And by approving falsehood prized.
On these Heaven's perfect law will dart
Those searching beams which bare the heart,
Till each fine chord of feeling there
Thrills into dread, and throbs with prayer.
