All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted |
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A Preamble, Preatrot, Preagallop, Preavack, Preapace, or Preface;
and Proface my Masters, if your stomackes serue. |
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 | All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet |  |
61
A Preamble, Preatrot, Preagallop, Preavack, Preapace, or Preface; and Proface my Masters, if your stomackes serue.
Booke
, goe thy wayes, and honest mirth prouoke:
And spightfull spirits with Melancholy choake.
Booke, J command thee, where thou dost resort,
To be the bad mens terrour, good mens sport.
Neere as thou canst, J pray thee doe not misse,
But make them vnderstand what Hempseed is.
And spightfull spirits with Melancholy choake.
Booke, J command thee, where thou dost resort,
To be the bad mens terrour, good mens sport.
Neere as thou canst, J pray thee doe not misse,
But make them vnderstand what Hempseed is.
Me thinkes I heare some knauish foolish head,
Accuse, condemne, and judge before hee read:
Saying, the fellow that the same hath made,
Is a mechanicke Waterman by trade:
And therefore it cannot worth reading be,
Being compil'd by such anone as he.
Another spends his censure like Tom ladle,
(Brings in his fiue egs, foure of which are adle)
Mewes and makes faces, yet scarce knowes whats what:
Hemp-seed (quoth he) what can be writ of that?
Accuse, condemne, and judge before hee read:
Saying, the fellow that the same hath made,
Is a mechanicke Waterman by trade:
And therefore it cannot worth reading be,
Being compil'd by such anone as he.
Another spends his censure like Tom ladle,
(Brings in his fiue egs, foure of which are adle)
Mewes and makes faces, yet scarce knowes whats what:
Hemp-seed (quoth he) what can be writ of that?
Thus these deprauing minds their iudgements scatter
Eyther against the Writer or the Matter.
But let them (if they please) reade this Preamble,
And they will finde that J haue made a scamble
To shew my poore plentious want of skill,
How Hemp-seed doth deserue, preserue, and kill.
I muse that neuer any exc'lent wit
Of this forgotten subiect yet hath writ.
The theame is rich, although esteemed meane,
Not scurrulous, prophane, nor yet obsceane.
And such as taske may well become a quill
To blaze it, that hath all the grounds of skill.
This worke were no dishonour or abuse,
To Homer, Ouid, or to Maroes Muse.
A thousand Writers for their art renown'd
Haue made farre baser things their studies ground.
That men haue cause to raile 'gainst fruitlesse Rimes,
(Uainely compil'd in past and present times,)
And say, O Hemp-seed, how art thou forgotten
By many Poets that are dead and rotten?
And yet how many will forget the still,
Till they put on a Tyburne Pickadill.
Eyther against the Writer or the Matter.
But let them (if they please) reade this Preamble,
And they will finde that J haue made a scamble
To shew my poore plentious want of skill,
How Hemp-seed doth deserue, preserue, and kill.
I muse that neuer any exc'lent wit
Of this forgotten subiect yet hath writ.
The theame is rich, although esteemed meane,
Not scurrulous, prophane, nor yet obsceane.
And such as taske may well become a quill
To blaze it, that hath all the grounds of skill.
This worke were no dishonour or abuse,
To Homer, Ouid, or to Maroes Muse.
A thousand Writers for their art renown'd
Haue made farre baser things their studies ground.
That men haue cause to raile 'gainst fruitlesse Rimes,
(Uainely compil'd in past and present times,)
And say, O Hemp-seed, how art thou forgotten
By many Poets that are dead and rotten?
And yet how many will forget the still,
Till they put on a Tyburne Pickadill.
Erasmus, that great Clerke of Rotterdam,
Jn praise of Folly many liues did frame:
The summe and pith of all his whole intents
Showes Fooles are guilty, and yet Innocents.
Another, briefly, barely did relate
The naked honour of a bare bald Pate:
And for there's not a haire twixt them and heau'n,
The title of tall men to them is giuen:
And sure they put their foes in such great dread.
That none dares touch a haire vpon their head.
Jn praise of Folly many liues did frame:
The summe and pith of all his whole intents
Showes Fooles are guilty, and yet Innocents.
62
The naked honour of a bare bald Pate:
And for there's not a haire twixt them and heau'n,
The title of tall men to them is giuen:
And sure they put their foes in such great dread.
That none dares touch a haire vpon their head.
Mountgomerie, a fine Scholler did compile
The Cherry and the Sloe in learned stile.
Homer wrote brauely of the Frog and Rat,
And Virgil versifi'd vpon a Gnat.
Ouid set forth the Art of lustfull Loue.
Another wrote the Treatise of the Doue.
One with the Grashopper doth keepe a rut.
Another rimes vpon a Hazell Nut.
One with a neat Sophisticke Paradoxe
Sets forth the commendations of the Poxe.
Signeur Inamorato's Muse doth sing
In honour of his Mistres Gloue or Ring,
Her Maske, her Fanne, her Pantofle, her Glasse,
Her Anything, can turne him to an Asse.
Plinie and Aristotle write of Bees.
Some write of Beggeries twenty foure degrees.
One of the Owle did learnedly endite,
And brought the Night-bird welcome to day-light.
A second did defend with tooth and nayle,
The strange contentment men may find in Jayle.
A third doth the third Richard much commend,
And all his bloudy actions doth defend.
A fourth doth shew his wits exceeding quicknesse,
In praise of Tauerne-healths and Drunken sicknesse.
A fift doth toyle his Muse quite out of breath,
Of aduerse Fortune, banishment or death.
A sixt the very Firmament doth harrow,
Writes of the Parrat, Popinjay and Sparrow,
The Storke, the Cuckoe: Nothing can escape,
The Horse, the Dog, asse, foxe, ferret, and the ape.
Mounsieur de Gallia, writes all night till noone,
Commending highly Tennis or Baloone.
Anothers Muse as high as Luna flies,
In praise of hoarsnesse, dropsies, and bleare-eyes.
The Gout, Sciatica, scab'd hams, small legs:
Of thred-bare cloukes, a jewes-trump, or potch'd egges.
One, all his wit at once, in Rime discloses
The admirable honour of red-noses:
And how the nose magnificat doth beare
A tincture, that did neuer colour feare,
One doth heroicke it throughout our coast,
The vertue of muld-sacke, and ale and toast.
Another takes great paines with inke and pen,
Approuing fat men are true honest men.
One wakes the haughty vauty welkin ring
In praise of Custards, and a bag pudding.
Another, albe labours inke and paper,
Exalting Dauncing, makes his Muse to caper.
Anothers humour will nothing allow
To bee more profitable then a Cow,
Licking his lips, in thinking that his theame
Js milke, cheese, butter, whay, whig, curds, and creame,
Leather and Ueale, and that which is most chiefe
Tripes, chitterlings, or fresh powder'd beefe.
A number haue contagiously rehearsed
And on Tobacco vapouriz'd and vearsed,
Maintaining that it was a drug deuine
Fit to be seru'd by all the Sisters nine.
Yet this much of it, J shall euer thinke,
The more men stirre in it, the more 'twill stinke.
A learned Knight, of much esteeme and worth,
A pamphlet of a Priuie did set forth,
Which strong breath'd Ajax was well lik'd, because
Twas writ with wit and did deserue applause.
One wrote the Nightingale and lab'ring Ant,
Another of the Flea and th'Elephant.
Tom Nash a witty pamphlet did endite
In praise of Herrings, both the red and write.
And some haue writ of Maggots and of Flies
A world of fables, fooleries, and lies.
And this rare Hempseed that such profit brings,
To all estates of subiects, and of Kings,
Which rich commoditie if man should lacke,
He were not worth a shirt vnto his backe.
And shall it no tryumphant honour haue,
But lye dead, buried in obliuions graue?
Some Critticks will perhaps my writing tax
With falshood, and maintaine their shirts are flax,
To such as those, my answer shall be this,
That Flax the male and Hemp the female is,
And their engendring procreatiue seed
A thousand thousand helpes for man doth breed.
And as a man by glauncing vp his eye
Sees in the aire a flocke of wilde Geese flye:
And ducke, and woodcocks, of both sexes be
Though men doe name but one, for breuity.
There's ganders 'mongst the geese, hens with the cocks,
Drakes with the ducks, all male and female stocks,
The Ewe, the Ram, the Lambe, and the fat weather,
Jn generall are called sheepe together.
Harts, Stags, Bucks, Does, Hinds, Roes, Fawnes, euery where
Are in the generality call'd Deere.
So Hemp and Flax, or which you list to name
Are male and female, both one, and the same.
Those that 'gainst these comparisons deride,
And will not with my lines be satisfide,
Let them imagine e're they doe condemne
I loue to play the foole with such as them.
The cause why Hempseed hath endur'd this wrong
And hath its worthy praise obscur'd so long,
I doe suppose it to bee onely this
That Poets know their insufficience is,
That were earth Paper, and Sea inke, they know
'Twere not enough great Hempseeds worth to show,
I muse the Pagans, with varietie,
Of godles Gods, made it no Deity.
The Cherry and the Sloe in learned stile.
Homer wrote brauely of the Frog and Rat,
And Virgil versifi'd vpon a Gnat.
Ouid set forth the Art of lustfull Loue.
Another wrote the Treatise of the Doue.
One with the Grashopper doth keepe a rut.
Another rimes vpon a Hazell Nut.
One with a neat Sophisticke Paradoxe
Sets forth the commendations of the Poxe.
Signeur Inamorato's Muse doth sing
In honour of his Mistres Gloue or Ring,
Her Maske, her Fanne, her Pantofle, her Glasse,
Her Anything, can turne him to an Asse.
Plinie and Aristotle write of Bees.
Some write of Beggeries twenty foure degrees.
One of the Owle did learnedly endite,
And brought the Night-bird welcome to day-light.
A second did defend with tooth and nayle,
The strange contentment men may find in Jayle.
A third doth the third Richard much commend,
And all his bloudy actions doth defend.
A fourth doth shew his wits exceeding quicknesse,
In praise of Tauerne-healths and Drunken sicknesse.
A fift doth toyle his Muse quite out of breath,
Of aduerse Fortune, banishment or death.
A sixt the very Firmament doth harrow,
Writes of the Parrat, Popinjay and Sparrow,
The Storke, the Cuckoe: Nothing can escape,
The Horse, the Dog, asse, foxe, ferret, and the ape.
Mounsieur de Gallia, writes all night till noone,
Commending highly Tennis or Baloone.
Anothers Muse as high as Luna flies,
In praise of hoarsnesse, dropsies, and bleare-eyes.
The Gout, Sciatica, scab'd hams, small legs:
Of thred-bare cloukes, a jewes-trump, or potch'd egges.
One, all his wit at once, in Rime discloses
The admirable honour of red-noses:
And how the nose magnificat doth beare
A tincture, that did neuer colour feare,
One doth heroicke it throughout our coast,
The vertue of muld-sacke, and ale and toast.
Another takes great paines with inke and pen,
Approuing fat men are true honest men.
One wakes the haughty vauty welkin ring
In praise of Custards, and a bag pudding.
Another, albe labours inke and paper,
Exalting Dauncing, makes his Muse to caper.
Anothers humour will nothing allow
To bee more profitable then a Cow,
Licking his lips, in thinking that his theame
Js milke, cheese, butter, whay, whig, curds, and creame,
Leather and Ueale, and that which is most chiefe
Tripes, chitterlings, or fresh powder'd beefe.
A number haue contagiously rehearsed
And on Tobacco vapouriz'd and vearsed,
Maintaining that it was a drug deuine
Fit to be seru'd by all the Sisters nine.
Yet this much of it, J shall euer thinke,
The more men stirre in it, the more 'twill stinke.
A learned Knight, of much esteeme and worth,
A pamphlet of a Priuie did set forth,
Which strong breath'd Ajax was well lik'd, because
Twas writ with wit and did deserue applause.
One wrote the Nightingale and lab'ring Ant,
Another of the Flea and th'Elephant.
Tom Nash a witty pamphlet did endite
In praise of Herrings, both the red and write.
And some haue writ of Maggots and of Flies
A world of fables, fooleries, and lies.
And this rare Hempseed that such profit brings,
To all estates of subiects, and of Kings,
Which rich commoditie if man should lacke,
He were not worth a shirt vnto his backe.
And shall it no tryumphant honour haue,
But lye dead, buried in obliuions graue?
Some Critticks will perhaps my writing tax
With falshood, and maintaine their shirts are flax,
To such as those, my answer shall be this,
That Flax the male and Hemp the female is,
And their engendring procreatiue seed
A thousand thousand helpes for man doth breed.
And as a man by glauncing vp his eye
Sees in the aire a flocke of wilde Geese flye:
And ducke, and woodcocks, of both sexes be
Though men doe name but one, for breuity.
There's ganders 'mongst the geese, hens with the cocks,
Drakes with the ducks, all male and female stocks,
The Ewe, the Ram, the Lambe, and the fat weather,
Jn generall are called sheepe together.
Harts, Stags, Bucks, Does, Hinds, Roes, Fawnes, euery where
Are in the generality call'd Deere.
So Hemp and Flax, or which you list to name
Are male and female, both one, and the same.
Those that 'gainst these comparisons deride,
And will not with my lines be satisfide,
Let them imagine e're they doe condemne
I loue to play the foole with such as them.
The cause why Hempseed hath endur'd this wrong
And hath its worthy praise obscur'd so long,
I doe suppose it to bee onely this
That Poets know their insufficience is,
That were earth Paper, and Sea inke, they know
'Twere not enough great Hempseeds worth to show,
I muse the Pagans, with varietie,
Of godles Gods, made it no Deity.
63
The Ægyptians to a Bull, they Apis nam'd
A temple most magnificent they fram'd,
The Ibis, Crocodile, a cat, a dog,
The Hippopostamy, beetles, or a frog.
Jchneumons, dragons, the wolfe, aspe, eele, and Ram,
(Base beastly gods, for such curst sonnes of Cham,)
Who were so with Jdolatry misled,
They worship'd Onions, and a garlike head.
A temple most magnificent they fram'd,
The Ibis, Crocodile, a cat, a dog,
The Hippopostamy, beetles, or a frog.
Jchneumons, dragons, the wolfe, aspe, eele, and Ram,
(Base beastly gods, for such curst sonnes of Cham,)
Who were so with Jdolatry misled,
They worship'd Onions, and a garlike head.
King Ieroboam for his gods did take,
Two golden calues, and the true God forsake.
The Philistins, and the Assirians,
The Persians and Babilonians,
Samaritans, and the Arabians,
The Thebans, Spartans, and Athenians,
The Indians, Parthians, and the Libians
The Britaines, Gallians, and Hibernians:
Since the first Chaos, or creation
Idolatry hath crept in euery Nation,
And as the diuell did mens minds inspire,
Some worshipt, earth, some aire, or water, fire,
Windes, Riuers, Rainbow, Stars, and Moone and Sun:
Ceres, and Bacchus riding on his tun,
Mars, Saturne, Ioue, Apollo, Mercury;
Priapus and the Queene of lechery,
Vulcan, Diana, Pluto, Proserpine,
Pomona, Neptune, and Pans piping shrine:
Old Belaam Berecynthia: Stones and Trees
Bewitched creatures worshipt on their knees.
Baal, Baalzebub, Nisroth, the Diuell, and Dagon,
Ashtaroth, Rimmon, Belus, Bell, the Dragon:
Flies, fooles, hawkes, madmen; any thing they saw:
Their very Priuies they did serue with awe:
And they did sacrifice, at sundry feasts
Their children vnto diuels, stockes, stones and beasts.
O had these men the worth of Hampseed knowne,
Their blinded zeale (no doubt) they would haue showne
Jn building Temples, and would alters frame,
Like Ephesus to great Dianaes name.
And therefore Merchants, Marriners, people all
Of all trades, on your marrow bones downe fall:
For you could neither rise, or bite or sup,
If noble Hempseed did not hold you vp.
Two golden calues, and the true God forsake.
The Philistins, and the Assirians,
The Persians and Babilonians,
Samaritans, and the Arabians,
The Thebans, Spartans, and Athenians,
The Indians, Parthians, and the Libians
The Britaines, Gallians, and Hibernians:
Since the first Chaos, or creation
Idolatry hath crept in euery Nation,
And as the diuell did mens minds inspire,
Some worshipt, earth, some aire, or water, fire,
Windes, Riuers, Rainbow, Stars, and Moone and Sun:
Ceres, and Bacchus riding on his tun,
Mars, Saturne, Ioue, Apollo, Mercury;
Priapus and the Queene of lechery,
Vulcan, Diana, Pluto, Proserpine,
Pomona, Neptune, and Pans piping shrine:
Old Belaam Berecynthia: Stones and Trees
Bewitched creatures worshipt on their knees.
Baal, Baalzebub, Nisroth, the Diuell, and Dagon,
Ashtaroth, Rimmon, Belus, Bell, the Dragon:
Flies, fooles, hawkes, madmen; any thing they saw:
Their very Priuies they did serue with awe:
And they did sacrifice, at sundry feasts
Their children vnto diuels, stockes, stones and beasts.
O had these men the worth of Hampseed knowne,
Their blinded zeale (no doubt) they would haue showne
Jn building Temples, and would alters frame,
Like Ephesus to great Dianaes name.
And therefore Merchants, Marriners, people all
Of all trades, on your marrow bones downe fall:
For you could neither rise, or bite or sup,
If noble Hempseed did not hold you vp.
And Reader now J thinke it is fit time
To come vnto the matter with my rime.
But iudge not till you haue well read and scan'd.
And askt your selues if you doe vnderstand:
And if you can, doe but this sauour shew
Make no ill faces, crynct tush and mew:
For though I dare not brag, I dare maintaine
True censurers will iudge J haue tane paine.
Unto the wise J humbly doe submit:
For those that play the fooles for want of wit,
My poore reuenge against them still shall be.
Jle laugh at them whilst they doe scoffe at me.
To come vnto the matter with my rime.
But iudge not till you haue well read and scan'd.
And askt your selues if you doe vnderstand:
And if you can, doe but this sauour shew
Make no ill faces, crynct tush and mew:
For though I dare not brag, I dare maintaine
True censurers will iudge J haue tane paine.
Unto the wise J humbly doe submit:
For those that play the fooles for want of wit,
My poore reuenge against them still shall be.
Jle laugh at them whilst they doe scoffe at me.
| All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet | |