All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet Being Sixty and three in Number. Collected into one Volume by the Author [i.e. John Taylor]: With sundry new Additions, corrected, reuised, and newly Imprinted |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| THE PRAISE OF HEMP-SEED. WITH The Uoyage of Mr. Roger Bird and the Writer hereof, in a
Boat of browne-Paper, from London to Quanborough in Kent.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 | All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet |  |
60
THE PRAISE OF HEMP-SEED. WITH The Uoyage of Mr. Roger Bird and the Writer hereof, in a Boat of browne-Paper, from London to Quanborough in Kent.
As also, a Farewell to the matchlesse deceased Mr. Thomas Coriat.
The Profits arising by Hemp-seed are Cloathing, Food, Fishing, Shipping, Pleasure, Profit, Iustice, Whipping.
DEDICATED TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFULL, Paternes
and Patrons of honest endeuours, Sir Thomas Hovvet,
and Sir Robert Wiseman Knights: And to the worthy
Gentleman, Mr. Iohn Wiseman, Health, Mirth, and
Happinesse, be euer attendants.
61
A Preamble, Preatrot, Preagallop, Preavack, Preapace, or Preface; and Proface my Masters, if your stomackes serue.
Booke
, goe thy wayes, and honest mirth prouoke:
And spightfull spirits with Melancholy choake.
Booke, J command thee, where thou dost resort,
To be the bad mens terrour, good mens sport.
Neere as thou canst, J pray thee doe not misse,
But make them vnderstand what Hempseed is.
And spightfull spirits with Melancholy choake.
Booke, J command thee, where thou dost resort,
To be the bad mens terrour, good mens sport.
Neere as thou canst, J pray thee doe not misse,
But make them vnderstand what Hempseed is.
Me thinkes I heare some knauish foolish head,
Accuse, condemne, and judge before hee read:
Saying, the fellow that the same hath made,
Is a mechanicke Waterman by trade:
And therefore it cannot worth reading be,
Being compil'd by such anone as he.
Another spends his censure like Tom ladle,
(Brings in his fiue egs, foure of which are adle)
Mewes and makes faces, yet scarce knowes whats what:
Hemp-seed (quoth he) what can be writ of that?
Accuse, condemne, and judge before hee read:
Saying, the fellow that the same hath made,
Is a mechanicke Waterman by trade:
And therefore it cannot worth reading be,
Being compil'd by such anone as he.
Another spends his censure like Tom ladle,
(Brings in his fiue egs, foure of which are adle)
Mewes and makes faces, yet scarce knowes whats what:
Hemp-seed (quoth he) what can be writ of that?
Thus these deprauing minds their iudgements scatter
Eyther against the Writer or the Matter.
But let them (if they please) reade this Preamble,
And they will finde that J haue made a scamble
To shew my poore plentious want of skill,
How Hemp-seed doth deserue, preserue, and kill.
I muse that neuer any exc'lent wit
Of this forgotten subiect yet hath writ.
The theame is rich, although esteemed meane,
Not scurrulous, prophane, nor yet obsceane.
And such as taske may well become a quill
To blaze it, that hath all the grounds of skill.
This worke were no dishonour or abuse,
To Homer, Ouid, or to Maroes Muse.
A thousand Writers for their art renown'd
Haue made farre baser things their studies ground.
That men haue cause to raile 'gainst fruitlesse Rimes,
(Uainely compil'd in past and present times,)
And say, O Hemp-seed, how art thou forgotten
By many Poets that are dead and rotten?
And yet how many will forget the still,
Till they put on a Tyburne Pickadill.
Eyther against the Writer or the Matter.
But let them (if they please) reade this Preamble,
And they will finde that J haue made a scamble
To shew my poore plentious want of skill,
How Hemp-seed doth deserue, preserue, and kill.
I muse that neuer any exc'lent wit
Of this forgotten subiect yet hath writ.
The theame is rich, although esteemed meane,
Not scurrulous, prophane, nor yet obsceane.
And such as taske may well become a quill
To blaze it, that hath all the grounds of skill.
This worke were no dishonour or abuse,
To Homer, Ouid, or to Maroes Muse.
A thousand Writers for their art renown'd
Haue made farre baser things their studies ground.
That men haue cause to raile 'gainst fruitlesse Rimes,
(Uainely compil'd in past and present times,)
And say, O Hemp-seed, how art thou forgotten
By many Poets that are dead and rotten?
And yet how many will forget the still,
Till they put on a Tyburne Pickadill.
Erasmus, that great Clerke of Rotterdam,
Jn praise of Folly many liues did frame:
The summe and pith of all his whole intents
Showes Fooles are guilty, and yet Innocents.
Another, briefly, barely did relate
The naked honour of a bare bald Pate:
And for there's not a haire twixt them and heau'n,
The title of tall men to them is giuen:
And sure they put their foes in such great dread.
That none dares touch a haire vpon their head.
Jn praise of Folly many liues did frame:
The summe and pith of all his whole intents
Showes Fooles are guilty, and yet Innocents.
62
The naked honour of a bare bald Pate:
And for there's not a haire twixt them and heau'n,
The title of tall men to them is giuen:
And sure they put their foes in such great dread.
That none dares touch a haire vpon their head.
Mountgomerie, a fine Scholler did compile
The Cherry and the Sloe in learned stile.
Homer wrote brauely of the Frog and Rat,
And Virgil versifi'd vpon a Gnat.
Ouid set forth the Art of lustfull Loue.
Another wrote the Treatise of the Doue.
One with the Grashopper doth keepe a rut.
Another rimes vpon a Hazell Nut.
One with a neat Sophisticke Paradoxe
Sets forth the commendations of the Poxe.
Signeur Inamorato's Muse doth sing
In honour of his Mistres Gloue or Ring,
Her Maske, her Fanne, her Pantofle, her Glasse,
Her Anything, can turne him to an Asse.
Plinie and Aristotle write of Bees.
Some write of Beggeries twenty foure degrees.
One of the Owle did learnedly endite,
And brought the Night-bird welcome to day-light.
A second did defend with tooth and nayle,
The strange contentment men may find in Jayle.
A third doth the third Richard much commend,
And all his bloudy actions doth defend.
A fourth doth shew his wits exceeding quicknesse,
In praise of Tauerne-healths and Drunken sicknesse.
A fift doth toyle his Muse quite out of breath,
Of aduerse Fortune, banishment or death.
A sixt the very Firmament doth harrow,
Writes of the Parrat, Popinjay and Sparrow,
The Storke, the Cuckoe: Nothing can escape,
The Horse, the Dog, asse, foxe, ferret, and the ape.
Mounsieur de Gallia, writes all night till noone,
Commending highly Tennis or Baloone.
Anothers Muse as high as Luna flies,
In praise of hoarsnesse, dropsies, and bleare-eyes.
The Gout, Sciatica, scab'd hams, small legs:
Of thred-bare cloukes, a jewes-trump, or potch'd egges.
One, all his wit at once, in Rime discloses
The admirable honour of red-noses:
And how the nose magnificat doth beare
A tincture, that did neuer colour feare,
One doth heroicke it throughout our coast,
The vertue of muld-sacke, and ale and toast.
Another takes great paines with inke and pen,
Approuing fat men are true honest men.
One wakes the haughty vauty welkin ring
In praise of Custards, and a bag pudding.
Another, albe labours inke and paper,
Exalting Dauncing, makes his Muse to caper.
Anothers humour will nothing allow
To bee more profitable then a Cow,
Licking his lips, in thinking that his theame
Js milke, cheese, butter, whay, whig, curds, and creame,
Leather and Ueale, and that which is most chiefe
Tripes, chitterlings, or fresh powder'd beefe.
A number haue contagiously rehearsed
And on Tobacco vapouriz'd and vearsed,
Maintaining that it was a drug deuine
Fit to be seru'd by all the Sisters nine.
Yet this much of it, J shall euer thinke,
The more men stirre in it, the more 'twill stinke.
A learned Knight, of much esteeme and worth,
A pamphlet of a Priuie did set forth,
Which strong breath'd Ajax was well lik'd, because
Twas writ with wit and did deserue applause.
One wrote the Nightingale and lab'ring Ant,
Another of the Flea and th'Elephant.
Tom Nash a witty pamphlet did endite
In praise of Herrings, both the red and write.
And some haue writ of Maggots and of Flies
A world of fables, fooleries, and lies.
And this rare Hempseed that such profit brings,
To all estates of subiects, and of Kings,
Which rich commoditie if man should lacke,
He were not worth a shirt vnto his backe.
And shall it no tryumphant honour haue,
But lye dead, buried in obliuions graue?
Some Critticks will perhaps my writing tax
With falshood, and maintaine their shirts are flax,
To such as those, my answer shall be this,
That Flax the male and Hemp the female is,
And their engendring procreatiue seed
A thousand thousand helpes for man doth breed.
And as a man by glauncing vp his eye
Sees in the aire a flocke of wilde Geese flye:
And ducke, and woodcocks, of both sexes be
Though men doe name but one, for breuity.
There's ganders 'mongst the geese, hens with the cocks,
Drakes with the ducks, all male and female stocks,
The Ewe, the Ram, the Lambe, and the fat weather,
Jn generall are called sheepe together.
Harts, Stags, Bucks, Does, Hinds, Roes, Fawnes, euery where
Are in the generality call'd Deere.
So Hemp and Flax, or which you list to name
Are male and female, both one, and the same.
Those that 'gainst these comparisons deride,
And will not with my lines be satisfide,
Let them imagine e're they doe condemne
I loue to play the foole with such as them.
The cause why Hempseed hath endur'd this wrong
And hath its worthy praise obscur'd so long,
I doe suppose it to bee onely this
That Poets know their insufficience is,
That were earth Paper, and Sea inke, they know
'Twere not enough great Hempseeds worth to show,
I muse the Pagans, with varietie,
Of godles Gods, made it no Deity.
The Cherry and the Sloe in learned stile.
Homer wrote brauely of the Frog and Rat,
And Virgil versifi'd vpon a Gnat.
Ouid set forth the Art of lustfull Loue.
Another wrote the Treatise of the Doue.
One with the Grashopper doth keepe a rut.
Another rimes vpon a Hazell Nut.
One with a neat Sophisticke Paradoxe
Sets forth the commendations of the Poxe.
Signeur Inamorato's Muse doth sing
In honour of his Mistres Gloue or Ring,
Her Maske, her Fanne, her Pantofle, her Glasse,
Her Anything, can turne him to an Asse.
Plinie and Aristotle write of Bees.
Some write of Beggeries twenty foure degrees.
One of the Owle did learnedly endite,
And brought the Night-bird welcome to day-light.
A second did defend with tooth and nayle,
The strange contentment men may find in Jayle.
A third doth the third Richard much commend,
And all his bloudy actions doth defend.
A fourth doth shew his wits exceeding quicknesse,
In praise of Tauerne-healths and Drunken sicknesse.
A fift doth toyle his Muse quite out of breath,
Of aduerse Fortune, banishment or death.
A sixt the very Firmament doth harrow,
Writes of the Parrat, Popinjay and Sparrow,
The Storke, the Cuckoe: Nothing can escape,
The Horse, the Dog, asse, foxe, ferret, and the ape.
Mounsieur de Gallia, writes all night till noone,
Commending highly Tennis or Baloone.
Anothers Muse as high as Luna flies,
In praise of hoarsnesse, dropsies, and bleare-eyes.
The Gout, Sciatica, scab'd hams, small legs:
Of thred-bare cloukes, a jewes-trump, or potch'd egges.
One, all his wit at once, in Rime discloses
The admirable honour of red-noses:
And how the nose magnificat doth beare
A tincture, that did neuer colour feare,
One doth heroicke it throughout our coast,
The vertue of muld-sacke, and ale and toast.
Another takes great paines with inke and pen,
Approuing fat men are true honest men.
One wakes the haughty vauty welkin ring
In praise of Custards, and a bag pudding.
Another, albe labours inke and paper,
Exalting Dauncing, makes his Muse to caper.
Anothers humour will nothing allow
To bee more profitable then a Cow,
Licking his lips, in thinking that his theame
Js milke, cheese, butter, whay, whig, curds, and creame,
Leather and Ueale, and that which is most chiefe
Tripes, chitterlings, or fresh powder'd beefe.
A number haue contagiously rehearsed
And on Tobacco vapouriz'd and vearsed,
Maintaining that it was a drug deuine
Fit to be seru'd by all the Sisters nine.
Yet this much of it, J shall euer thinke,
The more men stirre in it, the more 'twill stinke.
A learned Knight, of much esteeme and worth,
A pamphlet of a Priuie did set forth,
Which strong breath'd Ajax was well lik'd, because
Twas writ with wit and did deserue applause.
One wrote the Nightingale and lab'ring Ant,
Another of the Flea and th'Elephant.
Tom Nash a witty pamphlet did endite
In praise of Herrings, both the red and write.
And some haue writ of Maggots and of Flies
A world of fables, fooleries, and lies.
And this rare Hempseed that such profit brings,
To all estates of subiects, and of Kings,
Which rich commoditie if man should lacke,
He were not worth a shirt vnto his backe.
And shall it no tryumphant honour haue,
But lye dead, buried in obliuions graue?
Some Critticks will perhaps my writing tax
With falshood, and maintaine their shirts are flax,
To such as those, my answer shall be this,
That Flax the male and Hemp the female is,
And their engendring procreatiue seed
A thousand thousand helpes for man doth breed.
And as a man by glauncing vp his eye
Sees in the aire a flocke of wilde Geese flye:
And ducke, and woodcocks, of both sexes be
Though men doe name but one, for breuity.
There's ganders 'mongst the geese, hens with the cocks,
Drakes with the ducks, all male and female stocks,
The Ewe, the Ram, the Lambe, and the fat weather,
Jn generall are called sheepe together.
Harts, Stags, Bucks, Does, Hinds, Roes, Fawnes, euery where
Are in the generality call'd Deere.
So Hemp and Flax, or which you list to name
Are male and female, both one, and the same.
Those that 'gainst these comparisons deride,
And will not with my lines be satisfide,
Let them imagine e're they doe condemne
I loue to play the foole with such as them.
The cause why Hempseed hath endur'd this wrong
And hath its worthy praise obscur'd so long,
I doe suppose it to bee onely this
That Poets know their insufficience is,
That were earth Paper, and Sea inke, they know
'Twere not enough great Hempseeds worth to show,
I muse the Pagans, with varietie,
Of godles Gods, made it no Deity.
63
The Ægyptians to a Bull, they Apis nam'd
A temple most magnificent they fram'd,
The Ibis, Crocodile, a cat, a dog,
The Hippopostamy, beetles, or a frog.
Jchneumons, dragons, the wolfe, aspe, eele, and Ram,
(Base beastly gods, for such curst sonnes of Cham,)
Who were so with Jdolatry misled,
They worship'd Onions, and a garlike head.
A temple most magnificent they fram'd,
The Ibis, Crocodile, a cat, a dog,
The Hippopostamy, beetles, or a frog.
Jchneumons, dragons, the wolfe, aspe, eele, and Ram,
(Base beastly gods, for such curst sonnes of Cham,)
Who were so with Jdolatry misled,
They worship'd Onions, and a garlike head.
King Ieroboam for his gods did take,
Two golden calues, and the true God forsake.
The Philistins, and the Assirians,
The Persians and Babilonians,
Samaritans, and the Arabians,
The Thebans, Spartans, and Athenians,
The Indians, Parthians, and the Libians
The Britaines, Gallians, and Hibernians:
Since the first Chaos, or creation
Idolatry hath crept in euery Nation,
And as the diuell did mens minds inspire,
Some worshipt, earth, some aire, or water, fire,
Windes, Riuers, Rainbow, Stars, and Moone and Sun:
Ceres, and Bacchus riding on his tun,
Mars, Saturne, Ioue, Apollo, Mercury;
Priapus and the Queene of lechery,
Vulcan, Diana, Pluto, Proserpine,
Pomona, Neptune, and Pans piping shrine:
Old Belaam Berecynthia: Stones and Trees
Bewitched creatures worshipt on their knees.
Baal, Baalzebub, Nisroth, the Diuell, and Dagon,
Ashtaroth, Rimmon, Belus, Bell, the Dragon:
Flies, fooles, hawkes, madmen; any thing they saw:
Their very Priuies they did serue with awe:
And they did sacrifice, at sundry feasts
Their children vnto diuels, stockes, stones and beasts.
O had these men the worth of Hampseed knowne,
Their blinded zeale (no doubt) they would haue showne
Jn building Temples, and would alters frame,
Like Ephesus to great Dianaes name.
And therefore Merchants, Marriners, people all
Of all trades, on your marrow bones downe fall:
For you could neither rise, or bite or sup,
If noble Hempseed did not hold you vp.
Two golden calues, and the true God forsake.
The Philistins, and the Assirians,
The Persians and Babilonians,
Samaritans, and the Arabians,
The Thebans, Spartans, and Athenians,
The Indians, Parthians, and the Libians
The Britaines, Gallians, and Hibernians:
Since the first Chaos, or creation
Idolatry hath crept in euery Nation,
And as the diuell did mens minds inspire,
Some worshipt, earth, some aire, or water, fire,
Windes, Riuers, Rainbow, Stars, and Moone and Sun:
Ceres, and Bacchus riding on his tun,
Mars, Saturne, Ioue, Apollo, Mercury;
Priapus and the Queene of lechery,
Vulcan, Diana, Pluto, Proserpine,
Pomona, Neptune, and Pans piping shrine:
Old Belaam Berecynthia: Stones and Trees
Bewitched creatures worshipt on their knees.
Baal, Baalzebub, Nisroth, the Diuell, and Dagon,
Ashtaroth, Rimmon, Belus, Bell, the Dragon:
Flies, fooles, hawkes, madmen; any thing they saw:
Their very Priuies they did serue with awe:
And they did sacrifice, at sundry feasts
Their children vnto diuels, stockes, stones and beasts.
O had these men the worth of Hampseed knowne,
Their blinded zeale (no doubt) they would haue showne
Jn building Temples, and would alters frame,
Like Ephesus to great Dianaes name.
And therefore Merchants, Marriners, people all
Of all trades, on your marrow bones downe fall:
For you could neither rise, or bite or sup,
If noble Hempseed did not hold you vp.
And Reader now J thinke it is fit time
To come vnto the matter with my rime.
But iudge not till you haue well read and scan'd.
And askt your selues if you doe vnderstand:
And if you can, doe but this sauour shew
Make no ill faces, crynct tush and mew:
For though I dare not brag, I dare maintaine
True censurers will iudge J haue tane paine.
Unto the wise J humbly doe submit:
For those that play the fooles for want of wit,
My poore reuenge against them still shall be.
Jle laugh at them whilst they doe scoffe at me.
To come vnto the matter with my rime.
But iudge not till you haue well read and scan'd.
And askt your selues if you doe vnderstand:
And if you can, doe but this sauour shew
Make no ill faces, crynct tush and mew:
For though I dare not brag, I dare maintaine
True censurers will iudge J haue tane paine.
Unto the wise J humbly doe submit:
For those that play the fooles for want of wit,
My poore reuenge against them still shall be.
Jle laugh at them whilst they doe scoffe at me.
If these people had tasted but a messe of Tewxbury mustard they would surely haue honoured it for a God or feared it as a Diuell.
THE PRAISE OF HEMP-SEED: WITH The Uoyage of Mr. Roger Bird and the Writer hereof, in a Boat of browne-Paper, from London to Quanborough in Kent.
Sweet sacred Muses, my inuention raiseVnto the life, to write great Hempseeds praise.
This grain growes to a stalk, whose coat or skin
Good industry doth hatchell, twist, and spin,
And for mans best aduantage and auailes
It makes clothes, cordage, halters, ropes and sailes.
From this small Atome, mighty matters springs,
It is the Art of nauigations wings;
It spreads aloft, the lofty skie it scales,
Flies o're the great Leuiathan and Whales,
Diues to the boundlesse bottome of the deepe,
Wher Neptune doth mongst dreadful monsters keep.
64
From th'orient to the occident it flyes.
Kings that are sandred farre, by Seas and Lands,
It makes them in a manner to shake hands.
It fils our Land with plenty wonderfull,
From th'Esterne Jndie, from the great Mogull,
From France, from Portingale, from Venice, Spaine,
From Denmarke, Norway, it scuds o're the maine,
Vnto this Kingdome it doth wealth acrue
From beyond China, farre beyond Peru.
From Belgia, Almaine, the West Jndies, and
From Guiny, Biny, Island, New found-land,
This little seed is the great instrument
To shew the power of God Omnipotent,
Whereby the glorious Gospell of his Sonne,
Millions misled soules hath from Sathan wonne.
Those that knew no God in the times of yore,
Now they their great Creator doe adore.
And many that did thinke they did doe well
To giue themselues a sacrifice to Hell,
And seru'd the Diuell with th'inhumane slaughters,
Of their vnhappy haplesse sonnes and daughters.
Now they the remnant of their liues doe frame
To praise their Makers and Redeemers name.
Witnesse Virginia, witnesse many moe,
Witnesse our selues few hundred yeares agoe,
When in Religion, and in barbarous natures,
We were poore wretched misbeleeuing creatures.
How had Gods Preechers saild to sundry coasts,
T'instruct men how to know the Lord of Hosts?
But for the Sayles which he with wind doth fill.
As Seruants to accomplish his great will.
But leauing this high supernaturall straine,
I'le talke of Hempseed in a lower vaine.
How should we haue gold, siluer, jems, or Iewels,
Wine, oyle, spice, rice, and diuers sorts of fewels:
Food for the belly, cloathing for the backe,
Silke, Sattin, Veluet, any thing we lacke,
To serue necessities? How should we get
Such sorts of plenteous fish, but with the net?
The Smelt, Roach, Salmon, Flounder and the Dace,
Would in fresh riuers keepe their dwelling place.
The Ling, Cod, Herring, Sturgeon, such as these
Would liue and dye in their owne natiue Seas.
Without this seed the Whale could not be caught,
Whereby our oyles are out of Greenland brought.
Nay wer't not for the net made of this seed,
Men could not catch a Sprat whereon to feed.
Besides, it liberally each where bestowes
A liuing vpon thousands where it growes;
As beaters, Spinners, Weauers, and a crue
Of haltermakers which could scarce liue true,
But for th'imployment which this little graine
Doth vse them in, and payes them for their paine.
Would be trade falne, for their trade would fall.
Besides, what multitudes of Fishers are
In euery Sea-towne, numbers past compare,
Whilest they their seruants, children and their wiues
From Hempseeed get their liuing all their liues.
The Fish mangers would quickly goe to wrack,
The lacke of this seed would be their great lack,
And being now rich, and in good reputation,
They would haue neither Hall nor Corporation.
And all that they could buy, or sell, or barter,
Would scarce be worth a Gubbin once a quarter.
The mounting Larke, that seemes so high to flye,
Vntill she seemes no greater then a Flie;
And to the flaming Sunne doth chirp and prate,
Doth in the net come to her ending date,
My neighbour Woodcocke, buzzard and the Gull,
And Philip Sparrow all most plentifull.
All sorts of faire fowle, or the foulest fowle
From the degree of the Eagle to the Owle,
Are with ingenuous jins, grins, nets and snares
For mans reliefe oft taken vnawares:
Deeres, Hares, and Conies would too much abound,
And ouer-run the beating breeding ground,
And Weezels, Polcats, Wildcats, Stoats and such
Like spoyling Vermin, would annoy men much,
But for toyles, hayes, for traps, for snares and grins,
Which brings vs food and profit by their skins.
No Plowman liues beneath the azure Cope,
But for his plough or cart must vse the rope:
No Hostler liues in ours, or other Lands,
But makes the halters Horses falling bands.
Bels would hang dead within the loftie steeple
And neuer call to Church forgetfull people,
Mute like a bagbite, that hath lost his bag,
Except the Bell ropes made the clappers wag.
It were an endlesse taske to goe about it,
To reckon those that cannot liue without it.
Alasse what would our silken Mercers be?
What could they doe (sweet Hempseed) but for thee?
Rash, Taffata, Paropa, and Nouato,
Shagge, Fillizetta, Damaske and Mockado,
No Veluets Piles, two Piles, pile and halfe Pile,
No Plush, or Grograines could adorne this Ile,
No cloth of siluer, Gold, or Tisue, here:
Philip and Cheiny neuer would appeare
Within our bounds, nor any Flanders-serge
Could euer come within our Kingdomes verge:
Should Mercers want these things with diuers more
Their trade were nothing or else very poore.
This seed doth helpe the Grocer euery season,
Or else his wisedome could not yeeld a reison;
65
And (scarcely worth a fig) would end his Date.
For Cloues his credit would be clouen quick,
Nor from the loafe or lumpe, his lips could licke:
No Nutmegs, Liquoris, or biting graines
Or Almons for a Parrat, were his gaines,
Sans Ginger weakely he would run his Race,
And Powltry Mace, would put downe Indian Mace:
And he vnable (through his want of pelfe)
To pepper vs, or yet to prune himselfe.
The Draper of his wealth would much be shorted.
But that our cloathes and Kersies are transported,
Our cottons, penistones, frizadoes, baze,
Our sundry sorts of frizes, blackes and grayes.
And linnen Drapers but for transportation,
Could hardly Canuase out their occupation.
Hempseed doth yeeld or else it doth allow
Lawne, Cambricke, Holland, Canuase, Callico,
Normandy, Hambrough, strong poledauis, Lockram.
And to make vp the Rime (with reason) Buckram.
The Goldsmiths trade would totter and vnsettle,
And he could be a man of no good mettle,
Were't not for Sailes and Ropes that Ships doe rig,
That bring gold, siluer, many a Sow and Pig;
Which makes them by an admirable skill
To liue by that which many a Horse doth kill,
Which is the Fashions; for continually
They sell the fashion, but they seldome buy.
By Mallegoes, Canaries Sacke from Spaine,
Sweet Allegant, and the concocted Cute,
Hollock and Tent would be of small repute.
Nor they our Gossips lips no more would wet.
The wind no Muskadine could hither bandy,
Or sprightfull Malmesey out of fruitfull Candy.
Liatica or Corsica could not
From their owne bearing breeding bounds be got.
Peter-se-mea, or head strong Charnico,
Sherry, nor Rob-o-Dauy here could flow.
The French Frontinitcke, Claret, Red nor White,
Graues nor High-Country could ourhearts delight.
No Gascoygne, Orleance, or the Chrystall Sherrant
Nor Rhenish from the Rheine would be apparant.
Thus Hempseed, wth these wines, our land doth spread
Which if we want, wine Marchants trades were dead.
The Vintners trade were hardly worth a rush
Vnable to hang vp a signe, or bush;
And were't not for this small forgotten graine
Their coniuring at midnight would be vaine.
Anon, anon, would be forgotten soone,
And he might score a pudding in the Moone,
But not a pinte of Clarret in the Sunne,
Because the emptie hogshead could not runne.
His blushing lattice would looke pale and wan,
Nor could he long be a well liquord man:
No more could all his regiments of pots
Affright men daily, with scores, bills, and shots.
The Taylors trade would hardly get them bread
If Hempseed did not furnish them with thread;
And though it be a terror to most theeues
Yet it this occupation neuer greeues,
They loue it, black, brown, yellow greene, red, blew,
Which is a signe, that Taylers must be true:
The worthy Company, of warmelin'd Skinners
Would in short space be miserable sinners
It Hempseed did not oft supply their boxes
With Russian Sables, Miniuers and Foxes:
With Beares & Budges; and rare powdered Ermines,
And with the skins of diuers beasts and Vermines.
The Habberdasher of small ware, would be
In a small time, a man of small degree:
If Hempseed did not helpe him by the great,
Small would his gaines be, to buy cloathes or meat.
Then might his wares be rightly tearmed small
Which would be eyther few or none at all.
And Dyers though you doe no colours feare,
'Tis Hempseed that doth you to riches reare,
Woad, Madder, Indico, and Cutcheneale,
Brazil, and Logwood, and aboundant deale
Of drugs, which did they not your wants supply,
You could not liue, because you could not dye.
If Hempseed did not bring their commings in;
Oyles, Vnguents, Sirrops, Minerals, and Baulmes,
(All Natures treasure, and th'Almighties almes,)
Emplasters, Simples, Compounds, sundry drugs
With Necromanticke names like fearefull Bugs,
Fumes, Vomits, purges, that both cures, and kils,
Extractions, conserues, preserues, potions, pils,
Ellixers simples, compounds, distillations,
Gums in abundance, brought from foraigne nations.
Helpe, health, preseruatiues; and riches brings.
There's many a Gallant dallying with a Drab,
Hath got the Spanish pip, or Naples scab,
The Gallia Morbus or the Scottish fleas,
Or English Poxe, for all's but one disease.
And though they were perfum'd with Ciuet hot
Yet wanting these things they would stinke and rot,
With gowts, Consumptions, Palsies, Lethargies,
With apoplexies, quinzies, plurifies,
Cramps, cataracts, the teare-throat cough and tisick
From which, to health men are restor'd by Physicke,
66
The leprosie, which all men doe abhor.
The stone, strangury, botches, biles, or blaines,
Head-aches, cankers, swimming of the braines,
Ruptures, Hernia aquosa, or Carnosa,
Or the Eolian hernia ventosa.
All Dropsies, Collicks, Iaundizes, or Scabs,
Gangrenaes, Vlcers, wounds, and mortall stabs.
Illiaca passioes, Megrims, Mumps, or Mange,
Contagious blouds, which throgh the veins do range
Scurfes, meazles, murraines, fluxes, all these griefes,
Transported medicines daily bring releefes,
Most seruiceable Hempseed but for thee,
These helpes for man could not thus scattered be.
Tobacoes fire would soone be quenched out,
Nor would it leade men by the nose about:
Nor could the Merchants of such Heathen Docks
From small beginnings purchase mighty stocks:
By follies daily dancing to their pipe
Their states from rotten stinking weeds grow ripe;
By which meanes they haue into Lordships run
The Clients being beggered and vndone:
Who hauing smoak'd their Land to fire and ayre
They whiffe and puffe themselues into dispaire.
Ouid 'mongst all his Metomorphosis
Ne're knew a transformation like to this,
Nor yet could Oedipus e're vnderstand,
How to turne Land to smoake, and smoake to Land.
For by the meanes of this bewitening smother,
One Element is turn'd into another,
As Land to fire, fire, into Ayrie matter,
From ayre (too late repenting) turnes to water.
A strange change, and yet not stranger then for the women of these times to be turn'd to the shapes of men.
Are chang'd by pudding, leafe, roule, pipe and ball.
Lip licking Comfit-makers, by whose trade,
Dainties come thou to me are quickly made;
Baboones, and hobby horses, and owles, and apes,
Swans, geese, dogs, woodcocks, & a world of shapes,
Castles for Ladies, and for Carpet Knights,
Vnmercifully spoyld at feasting fights,
Where hattering bullets are fine sugred plums,
No feare of roaring guns, or thundring drums:
There's no tantara, sa sa sa, or force,
Of man to man, or warlike horse to horse;
No mines, no countermines, no pallizadoes,
No parrapets, or secret ambuscadoes,
Of bloud and wounds, and dismall piercing lances
Men at this sight are free from such mischances.
For many gallants guilded swords doe weare,
Who fight these battels without wit or feare:
All striuing as they did for honour thirst,
All greedy which can giue the onset first;
Each one contending in this Candied coyle,
To take most prisoners, and put vp most spoyle.
But most aduenturously with tooth and nayle,
Raze, ruinate, demolish, and confound,
The sugred fabricke leuell with the ground.
And hauing layd the buildings thus along,
They swallow downe, and pocket vp the wrong.
That who so that way afterwards doe passe,
Can see no signe where such a Castle was:
For at these warres most commonly 'tis seene,
Away the victors carry all things cleane.
It fortunes in these battels now and then
Women are better Souldiers farre then men:
Such sweet mouth'd fights as these doe often fall
After a Christning, or a Funerall.
Thus Hempe the Comfit-makers doth supply,
From them that newly liue, and newly dye.
If the blacke Indians or Newcastle coales
Came not in Fleets, like fishes in the sholes.
The rich in gownes and rugs themselues might sold,
But thousands of the poore might statue with cold.
The commodities of these blacke Indies are worth more white money to vs, then eyther the East or West Indies will euer be profitable.
This little seed seruie or comfort giues.
For why, our Kingdome could not serue our turne,
For Londons vse, with wood seuen yeares to burne:
And which way then could coales supply our need,
But by th'Almighties bounty and this seed?
You braue Neptunians, you salt water crew,
Sea-plowing Marriners; I speake to you:
From Hemp you for your selues and others gaine
Your Sprit-sayle, fore-sayle, top-sayle, & your maine,
Top, and top-gallant, and your mizzen-abast,
Your coursers, bonnets, drablers, fore and aft,
The sheats, tacks, boliens, braces, halliars, tyes,
Shrowds, ratlings, lanyards, tackles, lifts, and guies,
Your martlines, ropeyarnes, gaskets, and your stayes,
These for your vse, small Hemp-seed vp doth raise:
The boirope, boatrope, guestrope, catrope, portrope
The bucket rope, the boat-rope, long or short rope,
The entering-rope, the top-rope (and the rest
Which you that are acquainted with know best:
The lines to sound in what depth you slide,
Cables and hausers, by which ships doe ride:
All these, and many moe then I can name,
From this small seed, good industry doth frame.
Ships, Barks, Hoyes, Drumlers, Craires, Boats, all would sink,
But for the Ocum caulk'd in euery chink.
Th'vnmatched Loadstone, and best figur'd Maps
Might shew where foraine Countries are (perhaps)
67
The thirty two points where the winds do blow;
Men with the Iacobs staffe, and Astrolobe
May take the height and circuit of the Globe:
And sundry Art-like instruments looke cleare
In what Horizon, or what Hemisphere
Men sayle in through the raging ruthlesse deepe,
And to what coast, such and such course to keepe;
Guessing by th'Artike, or Antartike starre,
Climates and countries being ne're so farre.
But what can these things be of price or worth
To know degrees, heights, depths, East. W.S. North
What are all these but shadowes, and vaine hopes,
If ships doe eyther want their Sailes or Ropes?
And now ere I offend, I must confesse
A little from my theame I will digresse;
Striuing in verse to shew a liuely forme
Of an impetuous gust, or deadly storme.
Where vncontrouled Hyperborean blasts
Teares all to tatters, Tacklings, Sailes, and Masts;
Where boysterous puffes of Eurus breath did hiz
And mongst our shrouds and cordage wildely whiz;
Where thundering Joue amidst his lightning flashing
Seem'd ouerwhelm'd with Neptunes mountaine dashing
Where glorious Titan hath his burning light,
Turning his bright Meridian to blacke night:
Where blustring Eole blew confounding breath,
And thunders fearefull larum threatned death,
Where Skyes, and Seas, Haile, Wind, and slauering Sleet
As if they all at once had meant to meet
In fatall opposition, to expire
The world, and vnto Chaos backe retire.
Thus whilst the Winds and Seas contending gods,
In rough robustious fury are at ods,
The beaten ship tost like a forcelesse feather,
Now vp, now downe, & no man knowing whither:
The Topmast some time tilting at the Moone,
And being vp doth fall againe as soone,
With such precipitating low descent,
As if to hels blacke Kingdome downe she went,
Poore ship that rudder. or no steerage feeles,
Sober, yet worse then any Drunkard reeles,
Vnmanag'd, guidlesse, too and fro she wallowes,
Which (seemingly) the angry billowes swallowes.
Remorcelesse winds and, mercy-wanting Maine,
Amazement, horror, dread from each mans face
Had chas'd away liues bloud, and in the place
Was sad despaire, with haire heau'd vp vpright
With ashy visage, and with sad affright,
As if grim Death with his all murdering dart,
Had ayming beene at each mans bloudlesse heart,
Out cryes the Master, lower the top-saile, lower,
Then vp aloft runs scambling three or foure,
But yet for all their hurly burly hast,
E're they got vp, downe tumbles Saile and Mast.
Veere the maine sheat there, then the Master cride,
Let rise the fore tack, on the Larboord side:
Take in the fore-sayle, yare, good fellowes, yare,
Aluffe at helme there, ware no more, beware.
Steere South, South East there, I say ware, no more,
We are in danger of the Leeward shore,
Cleere your maine brace, let goe the bole in there,
Port, port, the helme hard, Romer come no neere.
Sound, sound, heaue, heaue the lead, what depth, what depth?
Fadom and a halfe, three all,
Then with a whiffe, the winds againe doe puffe,
And then the Master cries aluffe, aluffe,
Make ready th'anker, ready th'anker hoe,
Cleere, cleere the boighrope, steddy, well steer'd, so;
Hale vp the boat, in Sprit-sayle there afore,
Blow winde and burst, and then thou wilt giue o're,
Aluffe, clap helme a lee, yea, yea, done, done,
Downe, downe alow, into the hold, quicke runne.
There's a planck sprung, somthing in hold did break.
Pump bullies, Carpenters, quicke stop the leake.
Once heaue the lead againe, and sound abaffe,
A shafnet lesse, seuen all.
Let fall the Ancker there, let fall,
Man man the boat, a woat hale, vp hale,
Top yet maine yard, a port, yeere cable alow,
Ge way a head the boat there hoe, dee row,
Well pumpt my hearts of gold, who sayes amends
East and by South, West and by North she wends.
This was a weather with a witnesse here,
But now we see the skyes begin to cleare,
To dinner hey, and lets at ancker ride,
Till winds grow gentler, and a smoother tide.
[_]
J thinke I haue spoken Heathen Greeke, Vtopian, or Bermudian, to a great many of my readers, in the description of this storme, but indeed J wrote it onely for the vnderstanding Mariners reading, I did it three yeares since, and could not finde a fitter place then this to insert it, or else it must haue laine in silence. But to proceed to my former theame of Hemp-seed.
One alwayes makes, and t'other euer mends:
Take away Hemp, the sole and vpper leather
I know could neuer well be sow'd together.
And for the Cobler it appeareth plaine
That hee's the better workman of the twaine,
For though a Shoomaker in art excell,
And makes his shoes and boots neuer so well:
Yet euermore it is the Coblers trade
To mend the worke the Shoomaker hath made.
To set men that doe walke aside, vpright.
68
He daily mendeth desperate wicked soles:
Though Crownes and Angels may perhaps be scant,
Yet store of peeces he doth neuer want:
And let his worke be ended well or ill,
Here's his true honour, he is mending still.
And this his life and occupation is,
And thus he may thanke Hempseed for all this.
For Hempseed if men rightly vnderstand,
Is knowne the greatest Iustice in a Land:
How could men trauaile safely, here and there,
If Hempseed did not keepe a Theefe in feare;
No man within his house could liue or rest
For villaines, that would pilfer and molest,
And breake downe walls, and rifle chests and truncks
To maintaine drinking, dicing. Knaues and Punks:
That many a one that's wealthy ouer night,
Would e're the breake of day be begger'd quite:
Worth thousands lately, now not worth a groat,
And hardly scapes the cutting of his throat.
No doubt but many a man doth liue and thriue,
Which but (for Hemp-seed) would not be aliue;
And many a wife and Virgin doth escape
A rude deflouring, and a barbarous rape:
Because the halter in their minds doe run,
By whom these damned deeds would else be done.
It is a balwarke to defend a Prince.
It is a Subiects armour and defence:
No Poniard, Pistoll, Halbert, Pike, or Sword
Can such defensiue or sure guard afford.
There's many a Rascall that would rob, purloine,
Pick pockets, and cut purses, clip and coine,
Doe any thing, or all things that are ill,
If Hempseed did not curbe his wicked will.
'Tis not the breath or letter of the Law
That could keepe Theeues rebellious wils in awe;
For they (to saue their liues) can vse perswasions.
Tricks, sleights, repriues, and many strange euasions.
But tricke, repriue, or sleight nor any thing
Could euer goe beyond a Hempen string.
This is Lawes period, this at first was made
To be sharpe Iustice executing blade.
This string the Hangman monthly keepes in tune,
More then the Cuckoes song in May or June,
It doth his wardrobe, coine and stocke vpreare,
In euery moneth and quarter of the years.
Yet there hath beene two or three Sessions, wherein none hath beene executed: by which meanes he is in danger of breaking, or bankeruptisme; for the Hangmans trade is maintained by Iustice, and not by mercy.
It is a soueraigne remedie for loue:
As thus, suppose your thoughts at hourely strife
Halfe mad, and almost weary of your life,
All for the loue of some faire female creature,
And that you are entangled with her feature,
That you are sad, and glad, and mad and tame,
Seeming to burne in frost, and freeze in flame,
In one breath, sighing, singing, laughing, weeping,
Dreame as you walke, and waking in your sleeping,
Accounting houres for yeares, and moneths for ages,
Till you enioy her, that your heart encages,
And she hath sent you answers long before
That her intent is not to be your whore:
And you (for your part) meane vpon your life
Ne're while you liue to take her for your wife.
To end this matter, thus much I assure you,
A Tiburne Hempen-caudell well will cure you.
It can cure Traytors, but I hold it fit
T'apply't ere they the treason doe commit:
Wherefore in Sparta it ycleped was,
Snickup, which is in English Gallow-grasse.
It makes them dye like birds twixt earth and skyes,
The name of Choak-wort is to it assign'd,
Because it stops the venom of the mind.
Some call it Neek-weed, for it hath a tricke
To cure the necke that's troubled with the crick.
For my part all's one, call it what you please,
'Tis soueraigne 'gainst each Common-wealth disease,
And I doe wish that it may cure all those
That are my Soueraignes and my Countries foes.
And further, I would haue them search d and seene
With care and skill when as their wounds be green,
For if they doe to a Gangrena runne,
There's little good by Hempseed can be done;
For could I know mens hearts, I hold it reason
To hang a Traytor in his thought of treason:
For if his thought doe grow vnto an act
It helpes not much to hang him for the fact.
But that example may a terror strike
To others, that would else attempt the like.
To end this point of Hempseed, thus in briefe
It helps a trueman, and it hangs a Theefe.
Rates, Imposts, Customes of the Custome-house
Would at the best rate scarce be worth a Louse:
Goods in and out, which dayly ships doe fraight,
By guesse, by tale, by measure and by weight.
Which yearely to such mighty summes amount,
In number numberlesse: or past account:
Were't not for Hempseed, it doth plaine appeare
These profits would not be a groat a yeare.
The names of many braue discouerers: Sir Richard Grinuile, Charles, Earle of Nottingham, Henry Earle of South-hampton.
Did with this seed their great discoueries make.
Braue Hawkins, Baskeruile, Cauendish, Fennor, Best,
Smith, Sherley, Rawleigh, Newport, and the rest,
69
The Lord 'la Ware, Frobusher, many moe.
Nichols, and Malum, Rolph, and Midleton,
And Sir Iames Lancaster, and Wirbringhton.
And all the worthy things that these men did
Without this seed had bin vndone, and hid,
Fame ne're had trumpetted their noble fames
And quite forgotten were their acts and names.
The worlds seuen wonders, wer'e not for this grain
In poore remembrance, or forgot had laine,
The wals of Babel, sixty miles about,
Two hundred foote in height, thicke fifty foot:
Which Queene Samiramis in state did reare,
Imployed three hundred thousand men ten yeare.
Nor the great Image that at Rhodes was made
Whose mettall did nine hundred Camels lade.
The Pyramides of Ægypt, so renownd
At th'foot in compasse forty acres ground:
The which in making twenty yeares did then
Imploy at worke thirty sixe thousand men.
The Toomb of Mausoll, King of Carea
Built by his Queene, (kind Artimesia)
So wondrous made by art and workemanship
That skill of man could neuer it outstrip;
'Twas long in building, and it doth appeare
The charges of it full two millions were.
Dianaes Temple built at Ephesus
Had bin vnheard of, and vnknowne to vs,
Which was two hundred twenty yeares in building
With marble pillars and most sumptuous guilding.
The image of Olimpique Jupiter,
Had from Achaya not beene fam'd so farre,
Nor Pharoes Watch towre wch the world renownes
Which cost 400.fourescore thousand crownes.
Thus without Hemp-seed we had neuer knowne
These things, nor could they to the world be shown.
O famous Coriat, hadst thou come againe
Thou wouldst haue told vs newes, direct and plaine,
Of Tygers, Elephants, and Antelops
And thousand other things as thicke as hops,
Of men with long tailes, faced like to hounds,
Of oysters, one whose fish weigh'd forty pounds,
Of spiders greater then a walnut shell
Of the Rhinoceros thou wouldst vs tell,
Of horses tane with hawkes, of beares of buls,
Of men with eares a span long, and of guls,
As great as Swans, and of a bird call'd Ziz
Whose egge will drown'd some threescore villages,
Of cranes, and pigmies, lizzards, buzzards, owles,
Of swine with hornes, of thousand beasts and foules.
All these and more then I to minde can call
Thou wouldst haue told vs, and much more then all,
But that our expectations were preuented,
By death, which makes thy friends much discontented.
But farewell Thomas, neuer to returne
Rest thou in peace within thy forraigne Vrne,
Hempseed did beare thee o're the raging some
And O I wish that it had brought thee home,
For if thou hadst come backe, as I did hope,
Thy fellow had not beene beneath the Cope.
But we must loose that which we cannot saue.
And freely leaue thee whom we cannot haue.
I thinke it best to sow all our Land with itenery third yeare, for now our bread and drinke corne growing out of the excrements of beasts, makes vs to participate of their beastly natures, as when barly growes where swine haue dungd, those that drinke the ale or beere made of that malt, are many times as beastly as swine, and as drunke as hogs.
In making bad ground good, good corne to beare,
It fats the earth, and makes it to excell
No dung, or marle or mucke can do't so well:
For in that Land which beares this happy seed
In three yeares after it no dung will need,
But sow that ground with barley, wheat, or rye
And still it will encrease aboundantly;
Besides, this much I of my knowledge know
That where Hemp growes, no stinking weed can grow,
No cockle, darnell, henbane, tare, or nettle
Neere where it is can prosper, spring, or settle,
For such antipathy is in this seed,
Against each fruitlesse vndeseruing weed,
That it with feare and terror strikes them dead,
Or makes them that they dare not shew their head.
And as in growing it all weeds doth kill
So being growne, it keepes it nature still,
For good mens vses serues, & still releiues
And yeelds good whips and ropes for rogues and theeues.
I could rehearse of trades a number more
Which but for Hempseed quickly would grow poore;
As Sadlers for their elks haire to stuffe their sadles,
And girses, and a thousand fidle fadles;
But that Ile put my Reader out of doubts,
What a rich thing it is being worne to clouts:
For now how it to Paper doth conuert
My poore vnable Muse shall next insert.
And therefore noble and ignoble men
Iudge gently of the progresse of my pen,
Jn forma pauperis, poore men may sue,
And I in forme of paper speake to you.
But paper now's the subiect of my booke,
And from whence paper its beginning tooke;
How that from little Hemp and flaxen seeds,
Ropes, halters, drapery, and our napery breeds,
And from these things by art and true endeauour,
All paper is deriued, whatsoeuer.
For when I thinke but how is paper made
Into Phylosophy I straightwayes wade:
How here, and there, and euery where lyes scatter'd,
Old ruin'd rotten rags, and ropes all tatter'd.
And some of these poore things perhaps hath beene
The linnen of some Countesse or some Queene,
70
Mix'd with the rags of some baud, theefe, of whore.
And as these things haue beene in better states
Adorning bodies of great Potentates,
And lyes cast off, despised, scorn'd, deiected,
Trod vnder foot, contemn'd and vnrespected,
By this our vnderstandings may haue seeing
That earthly honour hath no certaine beeing.
For who can tell from whence these tatters springs?
May not the torne shirt of a Lords or Kings
Be pasht and beaten in the Paper mill
And made Pot-paper by the workemans skill?
May not the linnen of a Tyburne slaue,
More honour then a mighty Monarch haue:
That though he dyed a Traitor most disloyall
His shirt may be transform'd to Paper-royall?
And may not dirty socks from of the feet
From thence be turn'd to a Crowne-paper sheet?
And dunghill rags, by fauour, and by hap,
May be aduanc'd aloft to sheets of cap?
As by desert, by fauour and by chance
Honour may fall, and begg'ry may aduance,
Thus are these tatters allegoricall
Tropes, types, and figures, of mans rise or fall.
Thus may the reliques of sincere Diuines
Be made the ground-worke of lasciuious lines,
And the cast smocke that chast Lucretia wore
Beare baudy lines betwixt a knaue and whore.
Thus may a Brownists zealous ruffe in print
Be turn'd to Paper, and a play writ in't.
Or verses of a May pole, or at last
Iniunctions for some stomacke hating Fast.
And truely 'twere prophane and great abuse,
To turne the brethrene linnen to such vse,
As to make Paper on't to beare a song,
Or Print the Superstitious Latine tongue,
Apocrypha, or Ember-weekes, or Lent,
No holy brother surely will consent
To such Idolatry, his spirit and zeale
Will rather trouble Church, and common-weale.
He hates the Fathers workes, and had much rather
To be a bastard, then to haue a Father.
His owne interpretation he'll affoord
According to the letter of the word,
Tropes, Allegories, Types, similitudes,
Or Figures, that some mysticke sense includes.
His humour can the meaning so vnfold,
In other fashions then the Fathers could:
For he (dogmatically) doth know more
Then all the learned Doctors knew before.
All reuerend Ceremonies he'l oppose,
He can make an Organ of his nose,
And spin his speech with such sincerity,
As if his bridge were falne in verity.
The Cope and Surplesse he cannot abide,
Against the corner-Cap he out hath cride,
And calls them weeds of Superstition,
And liueries of the whore of Babylon.
The Crosses blessing he esteemes a curse,
The Ring in marriage, out vpon't 'tis worse.
And for his kneeling at the Sacrament,
In sooth he'le rather suffer banishment,
And goe to Amsterdamd, and liue and dye
E're he'l commit so much Idolatry.
He takes it for an outward Seale or Signe,
A little consecrated bread and wine,
And though it from his blessed Sauiour come
His manners takes it sitting on his bum.
The Spirit still directs him how to pray,
Nor will he dresse his meat the Sabbath day,
Which doth a mighty mysterie vnfold,
His zeale is hot, although his meat be cold,
Suppose his Cat on Sunday kill a Rat,
She on the Munday must be hang'd for that.
His faith keepes a continuall Holy day,
Himselfe doth labour to keepe it at play:
For he is read and deeply vnderstood
That if his faith should worke 'twould doe no good,
A fine cleane fingerd faith must saue alone,
Good workes are needlesse, therefore he'l do none.
Yet patience doth his spirit so much inspire,
He'l not correct a Seruant in his ire,
But when the spirit his hot furie layes.
Hee congregates his folkes, and thus he sayes:
Attend good Nichodemus, and Tobias,
List to your reuerend Master Ananias,
And good Aminadab, I pray attend,
Here's my man Jsmael highly did offend;
He told a lye, I heard his tongue to trip,
For which most surely he shall tast the whip.
Then after some sententious learned speech,
The seruant humbly doth let fall his breech,
Mounts on his fellowes backe as on a Mule,
Whilst his pure Maister mounts his rod of rule.
The boy in lying with his tongue did faile,
And thus he answers for it with his taile.
O Vpright, Sincere, Holy execution,
Most patient, vnpolluted absolution.
Shall Paper made of linnen of these men,
Be stain'd with an vnsanctified pen?
In sooth who ere doth so, bee't he or she,
They little better then the wicked be,
Children of Sathan and abhomination,
The brood of Belials cursed congregation,
The bastard off spring of the purple whore,
Who doe the Babylonish Beast adore.
From the Creation to the generall Flood,
The name of Paper no man vnderstood:
But by tradition still from Sire to Son,
Men liuing knew the deeds by dead men done.
Yet many things were in the Deluge sau'd
In stony Pillars charactered and grau'd.
71
Long since the floud men writ in barkes of trees:
Which was obseru'd late in America,
When Spanish Cortois conquered Mexica.
Then after in Fig-leaues and Sicamour,
Men did in Characters their minds explore.
Rags and old Ropes were to perfection wrought
Into square formes yet how to giue a name
Vnto their workemanship they could not frame.
The Originall of Paper.
Some Authors doe the name of Paper gather,
To be deriu'd from Papæ, or a Father,
Because a learned man of Arrius sect
Did Christendome with herefie infect:
And being in great errors much mistooke,
Writ and divulged in a Paper booke.
And therefore Nimphshag thus much doth inferre,
The name of Paper sprung from Papæ err.
Some hold the name doth from a Rush proceed,
Which on Egiptian Nilus bankes doth breed:
Which Rush is call'd Papirus for on it
Th'Egiptian people oftentimes had writ.
To be deriu'd from Papæ, or a Father,
Because a learned man of Arrius sect
Did Christendome with herefie infect:
And being in great errors much mistooke,
Writ and divulged in a Paper booke.
And therefore Nimphshag thus much doth inferre,
The name of Paper sprung from Papæ err.
Some hold the name doth from a Rush proceed,
Which on Egiptian Nilus bankes doth breed:
Which Rush is call'd Papirus for on it
Th'Egiptian people oftentimes had writ.
And some againe of lesse authoritie
Because it's made of rags and pouerty,
In stead of Paper name it Panperis,
But sure me thinkes they take their markes amisse,
For foure and twenty sheets doe make a Quire,
And twenty Quire doth to a Reame aspire,
And euery Reame were Kingdomes for their strength
But that they want a single (l) in length.
A Reame of Paper therefore keepes great port,
And were a Realme, wer't not an (l) too short.
Because it's made of rags and pouerty,
In stead of Paper name it Panperis,
But sure me thinkes they take their markes amisse,
For foure and twenty sheets doe make a Quire,
And twenty Quire doth to a Reame aspire,
And euery Reame were Kingdomes for their strength
But that they want a single (l) in length.
A Reame of Paper therefore keepes great port,
And were a Realme, wer't not an (l) too short.
Besides, we haue an old Prognosticater,
An erring Father, quasi erra Pater.
His euerlasting Almanack tels plaine,
How many miles from hence to Charles his waine.
From Luna vnto Mercury how farre
To Uenus, Sol, and Mars that warlike starre:
From Mars to merry thunder-thumping Ioue:
And thence to sullen Saturne highest aboue:
This if I lye not, with aduice and leasure,
Old Erra Pater to an inch did measure.
But hollow Muse what mounted to the sky,
I'le clip your soaring plumes for you and I
Must talke of Paper, Hemp, and such as this,
And what a rich commodity it is.
An erring Father, quasi erra Pater.
His euerlasting Almanack tels plaine,
How many miles from hence to Charles his waine.
From Luna vnto Mercury how farre
To Uenus, Sol, and Mars that warlike starre:
From Mars to merry thunder-thumping Ioue:
And thence to sullen Saturne highest aboue:
This if I lye not, with aduice and leasure,
Old Erra Pater to an inch did measure.
But hollow Muse what mounted to the sky,
I'le clip your soaring plumes for you and I
Must talke of Paper, Hemp, and such as this,
And what a rich commodity it is.
The best is I haue elbow roome to trace,
I am not tide to times, to bounds, or place,
But Europe, Asia, Sun-burnt Affrica,
America, Terra incognita,
The Christians, Heathens, Pagans, Turkes & Iewes,
And all the world yeelds matter to my Muse:
No Empire, Kingdome, Region, Prouince, Nation,
No Principality, Shire, nor Corporation:
No Country, County, City, Hamlet, Towne,
But must vse Paper, eyther white or browne.
No Metropolitane, or gracious Primate
No Village, Pallace, Cottage, function, Climate.
No age, sex, or degree the earth doth beare,
But they must vse this seed to write or weare.
I am not tide to times, to bounds, or place,
But Europe, Asia, Sun-burnt Affrica,
America, Terra incognita,
The Christians, Heathens, Pagans, Turkes & Iewes,
And all the world yeelds matter to my Muse:
No Empire, Kingdome, Region, Prouince, Nation,
No Principality, Shire, nor Corporation:
No Country, County, City, Hamlet, Towne,
But must vse Paper, eyther white or browne.
No Metropolitane, or gracious Primate
No Village, Pallace, Cottage, function, Climate.
No age, sex, or degree the earth doth beare,
But they must vse this seed to write or weare.
How it Propagates the Gospell.
This Paper (being printed) doth reueale
Th'Eternall Testament of all our Weale:
In Paper is recorded the Records
Of the Great all Creating Lord of Lords.
Vpon this weake ground strongly is ingrau'd
The meanes how man was made, and lost and sau'd,
Bookes Patriarchall, and Propheticall,
Historicall, or Heauenly Mysticall,
Euangelicall, and Apostolicall,
Writ in the sacred Text, in generall.
Th'Eternall Testament of all our Weale:
In Paper is recorded the Records
Of the Great all Creating Lord of Lords.
Vpon this weake ground strongly is ingrau'd
The meanes how man was made, and lost and sau'd,
Bookes Patriarchall, and Propheticall,
Historicall, or Heauenly Mysticall,
Euangelicall, and Apostolicall,
Writ in the sacred Text, in generall.
Much hath the Church (our Mother propagated)
By venerable Fathers workes translated
Saint Jerome, Gregorie, Ambrose, Augustine,
Saint Basil, Bernard, Cyprian, Constantine:
Eusebius, Epiphanius, Origen,
Jgnatius, and La ctantius (reuerend men)
Good Luther, Caluine, learned Zwinglius,
Melancton, Beza, Oecolampadius,
These, and a world more then I can recite
Their labours would haue slept in endlesse night,
But that in Paper they preseru'd haue bin
T'instruct vs how to shun death, hell, and sin.
By venerable Fathers workes translated
Saint Jerome, Gregorie, Ambrose, Augustine,
Saint Basil, Bernard, Cyprian, Constantine:
Eusebius, Epiphanius, Origen,
Jgnatius, and La ctantius (reuerend men)
Good Luther, Caluine, learned Zwinglius,
Melancton, Beza, Oecolampadius,
These, and a world more then I can recite
Their labours would haue slept in endlesse night,
But that in Paper they preseru'd haue bin
T'instruct vs how to shun death, hell, and sin.
72
How should we know the change of Monarchies,
Th'Assyrian and the Persian Emperies,
Great Alexanders large, small lasting glory
Or Romes high Cæsars often changing story?
How should Chronologies of Kings be knowne
Of eyther other Countries, or our owne?
Th'Assyrian and the Persian Emperies,
Great Alexanders large, small lasting glory
Or Romes high Cæsars often changing story?
How should Chronologies of Kings be knowne
Of eyther other Countries, or our owne?
But that Iosephus and Suetonius
Pollidore, Virgil, and Ortelius,
Seneca, and Cornelius Tacitus
With Scaliger, and Quintus Curtius;
Plutarch, Guichiardine, Gallobeligus
Thomasio, and Hector Boetius;
For, Cooper, Froysard, Grafton Fabian,
Hall, Houe'den Lanquet, Sleiden, Buchanan,
The Reuerend learned Cambden Selden Stowe,
With Polychronicon, and Speed, and Howe,
With Parris, Malmsbury, and many more
Whose Workes in Paper are yet extant store.
Pollidore, Virgil, and Ortelius,
Seneca, and Cornelius Tacitus
With Scaliger, and Quintus Curtius;
Plutarch, Guichiardine, Gallobeligus
Thomasio, and Hector Boetius;
For, Cooper, Froysard, Grafton Fabian,
Hall, Houe'den Lanquet, Sleiden, Buchanan,
The Reuerend learned Cambden Selden Stowe,
With Polychronicon, and Speed, and Howe,
With Parris, Malmsbury, and many more
Whose Workes in Paper are yet extant store.
Philemon Holland (famous for translation)
Hath (with our owne tongue) well inricht our Nation.
Esope, and Aristotle, Plinie, Plato.
Pythagoras, and Cicero, and Cato,
Du Bartas, Ariosto, Martial, Tasso,
Plautus and Homer, Terence, Virgil, Naso,
Franciscus Petrark, Horace, Juuenal,
Philosophers and exe'lent Poets all.
Or Orators Hystorians, euery one
In Paper made their worthy studies knowne.
Hath (with our owne tongue) well inricht our Nation.
Esope, and Aristotle, Plinie, Plato.
Pythagoras, and Cicero, and Cato,
Du Bartas, Ariosto, Martial, Tasso,
Plautus and Homer, Terence, Virgil, Naso,
Franciscus Petrark, Horace, Juuenal,
Philosophers and exe'lent Poets all.
Or Orators Hystorians, euery one
In Paper made their worthy studies knowne.
Who euer went beyond our famous King
Whose Art throughout the spacious world doth ring;
Such a Diuine, and Poet, that each State
Admires him whom they cannot imitate.
Whose Art throughout the spacious world doth ring;
Such a Diuine, and Poet, that each State
Admires him whom they cannot imitate.
In Paper, many a Poet now suruiues
Or else their lines had perish'd with their liues.
Old Chancer, Gower, and Sir Thomas More,
Sir Philip Sidney who the Lawrell wore,
Spencer, and Shakespeare did in Art excell,
Sir Eward Dyer, Greene, Nash, Daniel,
Siluester, Beaumont, Sir Iohn Harington,
Forgetfulnesse their workes would ouer run,
But that in Paper they immortally
Doe liue in spight of Death, and cannot dye.
Or else their lines had perish'd with their liues.
Old Chancer, Gower, and Sir Thomas More,
Sir Philip Sidney who the Lawrell wore,
Spencer, and Shakespeare did in Art excell,
Sir Eward Dyer, Greene, Nash, Daniel,
Siluester, Beaumont, Sir Iohn Harington,
Forgetfulnesse their workes would ouer run,
But that in Paper they immortally
Doe liue in spight of Death, and cannot dye.
And many there are liuing at this day
Which doe in paper their true worth display:
As Dauis, Drayton, and the learned Dun,
Johnson, and Chapman, Marston, Middleton,
With Rowley, Fletcher, Withers, Massinger,
Heywood, and all the rest where e're they are,
Must say their lines but for the paper sheete
Had scarcely ground, whereon to set their feete.
Which doe in paper their true worth display:
As Dauis, Drayton, and the learned Dun,
Johnson, and Chapman, Marston, Middleton,
With Rowley, Fletcher, Withers, Massinger,
Heywood, and all the rest where e're they are,
Must say their lines but for the paper sheete
Had scarcely ground, whereon to set their feete.
Acts, Statutes, Lawes would be consum'd and lost
All right and order topsy-turuy tost:
Oppression, wrong, destruction and confusion
Wer't not for Paper, were the worlds conclusion.
Negotiations, and Embassages
Maps, Cartes, discoueries of strangs passages:
Leagues, truces, combinations, and contracts,
Ecclesiasticke monuments and acts,
Lawes, Nat'rall, Morall, Ciuill, and Diuine,
T'instruct, reproue, correct, inlarge, confine.
All right and order topsy-turuy tost:
Oppression, wrong, destruction and confusion
Wer't not for Paper, were the worlds conclusion.
Negotiations, and Embassages
Maps, Cartes, discoueries of strangs passages:
Leagues, truces, combinations, and contracts,
Ecclesiasticke monuments and acts,
Lawes, Nat'rall, Morall, Ciuill, and Diuine,
T'instruct, reproue, correct, inlarge, confine.
All Memorandums of forepassed ages,
Sayings and sentences of ancient Sages,
Astronomy, and Phisicke much renownd,
The lib'rall Arts, rules, maxiomes, or ground,
The glory of Apolloes Radient shine,
Supporter of the Sacred Sisters Nine,
The Atlas, that all Histories doth beare
Throughout the world, here, there, and euery where.
Sayings and sentences of ancient Sages,
Astronomy, and Phisicke much renownd,
The lib'rall Arts, rules, maxiomes, or ground,
The glory of Apolloes Radient shine,
Supporter of the Sacred Sisters Nine,
The Atlas, that all Histories doth beare
Throughout the world, here, there, and euery where.
How many liue by it being Paper.
All this and more is paper, and all this,From fruitfull Hempseed still produced is.
Were't not for rags of this admired Lint,
Dead were the admirable Art of Print.
Nor could the Printers with their formes & proofes.
Worke for their owne and other mens behoofes.
Octauo, Quarto, Folio, or sixteene:
Twelues, nor yet sixty foure had e're beene seene,
Nor could their Pages be the meanes to feed
And cloth them and their families at need.
The Stationer that liues, and gaineth well,
And doth the word of God, both buy and sell,
I know not which way he could liue and eate,
If printed paper did not yeeld him meat.
73
The slander that three Taylers are one man:
When many a Taylers boy, I know hath beene,
Hath made tall men much fearefull to be seene,
The boy hath had no weapon, nor no skill,
But armed with a Taylers Paper-bill,
Which being edgd with Jtems, stiffnings facings,
With Bumbast, cottons, linenings, and with laceings,
The boy hath made a man his head to hide
And not the bare sight of the Bill abide.
When boyes with paper Bils frights men so sore,
'Tis doubtlesse but their Masters can doe more,
And many millions both of boyes and men,
Doe onely liue, and flourish with the pen:
Yet though the pen be through the world renown'd
'Twere nothing except paper were the ground.
All Lawyers from the high'st degree or marke,
Vnto the lowest Barrester or Clarke.
How could they doe if paper did not beare
The memory of what they speake or heare?
And Iustice Clarkes could hardly make strong warrants.
For Theeues, or Baudes, or whores, or such like arrants,
But that in Paper 'tis their onely vse
To write, and right the Common-wealths abuse.
Vnto the lowest Barrester or Clarke.
How could they doe if paper did not beare
The memory of what they speake or heare?
And Iustice Clarkes could hardly make strong warrants.
For Theeues, or Baudes, or whores, or such like arrants,
But that in Paper 'tis their onely vse
To write, and right the Common-wealths abuse.
Thus much of Paper here my Muse hath said,
But yet if all its profits were displaid,
Ten Paper Mils could not affoord enough
To write vpon in praise of writing stuffe.
But yet if all its profits were displaid,
Ten Paper Mils could not affoord enough
To write vpon in praise of writing stuffe.
A Uoyage in a Paper-boat from London to Quinborough.
I therefore to conclude this much will noteHow I of Paper lately made a Boat,
And how informe of Paper I did row
From London vnto Quinborough Ile show.
I and a Vintner (Roger Bird by name)
(A man whom Fortune neuer yet could tame)
Tooke ship vpon the vigill of Saint Iames
And boldly ventur'd downe the Riuer Thames,
Lauing and cutting through each raging billow,
(In such a Boat which neuer had a fellow)
Hauing no kinde of mettall or no wood
To helpe vs eyther in our Ebbe or Flood:
For as our boat was paper so our Oares
Were Stock-fish, caught neere to the Island shores.
Driuing 'twixt Essex Calues, and sheepe of Kent:
Our Boat a female vessell gan to leake
Being as female vessels are, most weake,
Yet was shee able which did greeue me sore,
To drowne Hodge Bird and I and forty more.
The water to the Paper being got,
In one halfe houre our boat began to rot:
The Thames (most lib'rall) fild her to the halues,
Whilst Hodge and I sate liquor'd to the calues.
In which extremity I thought it fit
To put in vse a stratagem of wit,
Which was, eight Bullocks bladders we had bought
Puft stifly full with wind, bound fast and tought.
Which on our Boat within the Tide we ty'de,
Of each side foure, vpon the outward side.
The water still rose higher by degrees.
In three miles going, almost to our knees,
Our rotten bottome all to tatters sell,
And left our boat as bottomlesse as Hell.
And had not bladders borne vs stifly vp,
We there had tasted of deaths fatall cup.
And now (to make some sport) Ile make it knowne
By whose strong breath my bladders all were blown.
One by a cheuerell conscienc'd Vsurer,
Another by a drunken Bag piper,
The third a Whore, the fourth a Pander blew,
The fift a Cutpurse, of the Cursed crew,
The sixt, a post-knight that for fiue groats gaine
Would sweare & for foure groats forsweare't againe.
The seauenth was an Informer, one that can
By informations begger any man.
The eight was blowne vp by a swearing Royster,
That would cut throats as soone as eate an Oyster.
We had more winds then the Compasse, for we had eight seuerall winds in our bladders, and the 32 of the Compasse in all 40.
And with these wicked winds encompass'd round,
For why such breaths as those it fortunes euer,
They end with hanging, but with drowning neuer;
And sure the bladders bore vs vp so tight,
As if they had said, Gallowes claime thy right.
This was the cause that made vs seeke about,
To finde these light Tiburnian vapours out.
We could haue had of honest men good store,
As Watermen, and Smiths, and many more,
But that we knew it must be hanging breath,
That must preserue vs from a drowning death.
Yet much we fear'd the graues our end would be
Before we could the Towne of Grauesend see:
Our boat drunke deepely with her dropsie thirst,
And quaft as if she would her bladders burst,
Whilst we within fixe inches of the brim
(Full of salt water) downe (halfe sunck) did swim.
Thousands of people all the shores did hide,
And thousands more did meet vs in the tide
With Scullers, Oares, with ship boats, & with Barges
To gaze on vs, they put themselues to charges.
Before we could the Towne of Grauesend see:
Our boat drunke deepely with her dropsie thirst,
And quaft as if she would her bladders burst,
74
(Full of salt water) downe (halfe sunck) did swim.
Thousands of people all the shores did hide,
And thousands more did meet vs in the tide
With Scullers, Oares, with ship boats, & with Barges
To gaze on vs, they put themselues to charges.
Thus did we driue, and driue the time away,
Till pitchy night had driuen away the day:
The Sun vnto the vnder world was fled:
The Moone was loath to rise, and kept her bed,
The Starres did twinckle, but the Ebon clouds
Their light, our sight, obscures and ouershrowds.
The tossing billowes made our boat to caper,
Our paper forme scarce being forme of paper,
The water foure mile broad, no Oares, to row,
Night darke, and where we were we did not know.
And thus 'twixt doubt and feare, hope and despaire
I fell to worke, and Roger Bird to prayer.
And as the surges vp and downe did heaue vs,
He cry'd most feruently, good Lord receiue vs.
I pray'd as much, but I did worke and pray,
And he did all he could to pray and play.
Thus three houres darkeling I did puzzell and toile
Sows'd and well pickl'd, chafe and muzzell & moile,
Drench'd with the swassing waues, & stew'd in sweat
Scarce able with a cane our boat to set,
At last (by Gods great mercy and his might)
The morning gan to chase away the night.
Aurora made vs soone perceiue and see
We were three miles below the Towne of Lee.
And as the morning more end more did cleare,
The sight of Quinborogh castle did appeare.
That was the famous monumentall marke,
To which we striu'd to bring our rotten barke:
The onely ayme of our intents and scope,
The anker that brought Roger to the Hope.
Till pitchy night had driuen away the day:
The Sun vnto the vnder world was fled:
The Moone was loath to rise, and kept her bed,
The Starres did twinckle, but the Ebon clouds
Their light, our sight, obscures and ouershrowds.
The tossing billowes made our boat to caper,
Our paper forme scarce being forme of paper,
The water foure mile broad, no Oares, to row,
Night darke, and where we were we did not know.
And thus 'twixt doubt and feare, hope and despaire
I fell to worke, and Roger Bird to prayer.
And as the surges vp and downe did heaue vs,
He cry'd most feruently, good Lord receiue vs.
I pray'd as much, but I did worke and pray,
And he did all he could to pray and play.
Thus three houres darkeling I did puzzell and toile
Sows'd and well pickl'd, chafe and muzzell & moile,
Drench'd with the swassing waues, & stew'd in sweat
Scarce able with a cane our boat to set,
At last (by Gods great mercy and his might)
The morning gan to chase away the night.
Aurora made vs soone perceiue and see
We were three miles below the Towne of Lee.
And as the morning more end more did cleare,
The sight of Quinborogh castle did appeare.
That was the famous monumentall marke,
To which we striu'd to bring our rotten barke:
The onely ayme of our intents and scope,
The anker that brought Roger to the Hope.
Thus we from Saturday at euening Tide,
Till Monday morne, did on the water bide,
In rotten paper and in boysterous weather,
Darke nights, through wet, and toyled altogether.
But being come to Quinborough and aland,
I tooke my fellow Roger by the hand,
And both of vs ere we two steps did goe
Gaue thankes to God that had preseru'd vs so:
Confessing that his mercy vs protected
When as we least deseru'd, and lesse expected.
The Maior of Quinborough in loue affords
To entertaine vs, as we had beene Lords;
It is a yearely feast kept by the Maior,
And thousand people thither doth repaire,
From Townes and Villages that's neere about,
And 'twas our lucke to come in all this rout.
I'th'street, Bread, Beere, and Oysters is their meat,
Which freely, friendly, shot-free all doe eat.
But Hodge and I were men of ranck and note,
We to the Maior gaue our aduenturous boat;
The which (to glorifie that Towne of Kent)
He meant to hang vp for a monument.
He to his house inuited vs to dine,
Where we had cheare on cheare, and wine on wine,
And drinke, and fill, and drinke, and drinke and fill,
With welcome vpon welcome, welcome still.
Till Monday morne, did on the water bide,
In rotten paper and in boysterous weather,
Darke nights, through wet, and toyled altogether.
But being come to Quinborough and aland,
I tooke my fellow Roger by the hand,
And both of vs ere we two steps did goe
Gaue thankes to God that had preseru'd vs so:
Confessing that his mercy vs protected
When as we least deseru'd, and lesse expected.
The Maior of Quinborough in loue affords
To entertaine vs, as we had beene Lords;
It is a yearely feast kept by the Maior,
And thousand people thither doth repaire,
From Townes and Villages that's neere about,
And 'twas our lucke to come in all this rout.
I'th'street, Bread, Beere, and Oysters is their meat,
Which freely, friendly, shot-free all doe eat.
But Hodge and I were men of ranck and note,
We to the Maior gaue our aduenturous boat;
The which (to glorifie that Towne of Kent)
He meant to hang vp for a monument.
He to his house inuited vs to dine,
Where we had cheare on cheare, and wine on wine,
And drinke, and fill, and drinke, and drinke and fill,
With welcome vpon welcome, welcome still.
But whilst we at our dinners thus were merry,
The Country people tore our tatter'd wherry
In mammocks peecemeale in a thousand scraps,
Wearing the reliques in their hats and caps.
That neuer traytors corps could more be scatter'd
By greedy Rauens, then our poore boat was tatter'd;
Which when the Maior did know, he presently
Tooke patient what he could not remedie.
The next day we with thankes left Quinbroghs coast
And hied vs home on horse-backe all in post.
Thus Master Birds strange voyage was begun,
With greater danger was his mony won.
And those that doe his coine from him detaine
(Which he did win with perill and much paine)
Let them not thinke that e're 'twill doe them good,
But eate their marrow and consume their blood.
The worme of conscience gnaw them euery day
That haue the meanes, and not the will to pay.
Those that are poore, and cannot, let them be
Both from the debt and malediction free.
The Country people tore our tatter'd wherry
In mammocks peecemeale in a thousand scraps,
Wearing the reliques in their hats and caps.
That neuer traytors corps could more be scatter'd
By greedy Rauens, then our poore boat was tatter'd;
Which when the Maior did know, he presently
Tooke patient what he could not remedie.
The next day we with thankes left Quinbroghs coast
And hied vs home on horse-backe all in post.
Thus Master Birds strange voyage was begun,
With greater danger was his mony won.
And those that doe his coine from him detaine
(Which he did win with perill and much paine)
Let them not thinke that e're 'twill doe them good,
But eate their marrow and consume their blood.
The worme of conscience gnaw them euery day
That haue the meanes, and not the will to pay.
Those that are poore, and cannot, let them be
Both from the debt and malediction free.
Thus (I in part) what Hemp-seed is haue showne.
Cloth, ropes, rags, paper, poorely is made knowne:
How it maintaines each kingdome, state and trade,
And how in paper we a voyage made.
I therefore to conclude, thinke not amisse
To write something of Thames, or Thamasis,
Cloth, ropes, rags, paper, poorely is made knowne:
How it maintaines each kingdome, state and trade,
And how in paper we a voyage made.
I therefore to conclude, thinke not amisse
To write something of Thames, or Thamasis,
Loyre, Moldoue, Tyber, Albia, Seyne, Meander,
Hidaspes, Jndus, Jnachus, Tanaies,
(Our Thames true praise is sarre beyond their praise)
Great Euphrates, Iordane, Nilus, Ganges, Poe,
Tagus and Tygris, Thames doth farre out-goe.
Danubia, Jster, Xanthus, Lisus, Rhrine,
Wey, Seuerne, Auon, Medway, Isis, Tine,
Dee, Ouze, Trent, Humber, Eske, Tweed, Annan, Tay,
Firth (that braue Demy-ocean) Clide, Dun, Spay,
All these are great in fames, and great in names,
But great'st in goodnesse is the riuer Thames,
From whose Diurnall and Nocturnall flood
Millions of soules haue fewell cloathes and food;
Which from twelue houres to twelue doth still succeed,
Hundreds, & thousands both to cloath & feed.
Of watermen, their seruants, children, wiues,
It doth maintaine neere twenty thousand liues.
I can as quickly number all the starres,
As reckon all things in particulars:
81
Proceeds from this most matchlesse, famous Riuer.
And therefore 'tis great pirty, shelfe or sand
From the forgetfull and ingratefull land,
Should it's cleare chrystall entrailes vilefy,
Or soyle such purenesse with impurity.
What doth it doe, but serues our full contents,
Brings food, and for it takes our excrements,
Yeelds vs all plenty, worthy of regard
And dirt and mucke we giue it for reward?
In art, haue fabled riuers out of hell,
As Erebus, Cocitus, Acheron,
Stix, Orchus, Tartarus, and Phlegeton,
And all infernall Barathrums Damn'd Creekes,
With Charons Passengers, and fearefull shriekes,
Who writing drinking Lethe to their shames
Vnthankefully they haue forgot the Thames.
But noble Thames, whilest I can hold a pen
I will diuulge thy glory vnto men:
Thou in the morning when my coine is scant
Before the euening dost supply my want.
If like a Bee I seeke to liue and thriue,
Thou wilt yeeld hony freely to my hiue,
If like a dronc I will not worke for meate,
Thou in discretion giues me nought to eate
Thou the true rules of Iustice dost obserue,
To feed the lab'rer, let the idle sterue,
And I so many faithlesse men haue found
As any man that liues vpon the ground,
Who haue done me wrong and themselues no good,
And swore, and forswore in their damned mood:
Whilst I (fond I) haue lent and giuen away
To such as not so much as thankes will pay,
For shame and modesty I name them not;
But let their black soules beare the impure blot
Of falshood periury, and odious lyes
That diuels in shape of Mankind can deuise.
If these lines happen to their hands to come,
They'l pick their teeth, look downward and cry hum,
But goodnesse how should euer I expect,
From such who doe so true a friend neglect.
And therefore Thames, with thee I haue decreed
Because thoa neuer faild me in my need,
To thee, to thee againe I doe retire
And with thee Ile remaine till life expire,
The Oare hath foure or fiue vertues; first, it is healthfull, second, it auoyds bad company, third, it keeps men sober, fourth, it gets mony, fift, it auoyds expences all which vertues I will put in practise and fall to rowing.
Thy liberalitie hath flow'd to me,
And for thou alwayes giuest me meanes to liue
My selfe (most thankefully my selfe doe giue.
Momus thou Sonne of Somnus, and of Nox,
Take not my lines all for a Paradox:
For most of them seeme true, and I doe rue
That many of them I doe know too true.
Sleepe Momus sleepe, in Murceas slothfull bed,
Let Morpheus locke thy tongue within thy head:
Or if thou needst wilt prate, prate to this end
To giue commends to that thou canst not mend.
'Tis not a guilded Gull made vp with oathes,
That sweares and dams himselfe into good cloathes,
That weares his cloake beneath his skirts and wast
Cause men may see how he is trust and brac'd:
Such a fantasticke asse, I care not for,
He flewts my lines, and I doe him abhor.
My poore inuention no way is supply'd,
With cutting large thongs from anothers hide:
I haue not stolne a syllable or letter
From any man, to make my booke seeme better.
But similies, comparisons, each line,
Indifferent, good or bad, they all are mine,
Yet I confesse I haue read many a booke
From whence I haue some obseruations tooke.
Which I make vse of, as occasions touch,
And any Poet (I thinke) will doe as much.
I will not brag, to all men bee it knoshne
(By learning) I haue nothing of mine owne,
But had I tongues and languages, like many
Sure I should filch and steale as much as any.
But like an Artlesse Poet, I say still,
I cm a Taylor, true against my will.
Thus ending (like to Iasons Golden-fleece)
This worke of Hempseed is my Master-peace.
FINIS.
| All the workes of Iohn Taylor the Water-Poet | |