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THE GADFLY

FROM A LETTER TO TOM KEATS

I

All gentle folks who owe a grudge
To any living thing
Open your ears and stay your t[r]udge
Whilst I in dudgeon sing.

II

The Gadfly he hath stung me sore—
O may he ne'er sting you!
But we have many a horrid bore
He may sting black and blue.

III

Has any here an old grey Mare
With three legs all her store,
O put it to her Buttocks bare
And straight she'll run on four.

IV

Has any here a Lawyer suit
Of Seventeen-Forty-Three,
Take Lawyer's nose and put it to 't
And you the end will see.
329

V

Is there a Man in Parliament
Dum[b-]founder'd in his speech,
O let his neighbour make a rent
And put one in his breech.

VI

O Lowther how much better thou
Hadst figur'd t'other day
When to the folks thou mad'st a bow
And hadst no more to say

VII

If lucky Gadfly had but ta'en
His seat [OMITTED]
And put thee to a little pain
To save thee from a worse.

VIII

Better than Southey it had been,
Better than Mr. D---,
Better than Wordsworth too, I ween,
Better than Mr. V---.

IX

Forgive me pray good people all
For deviating so—
In spirit sure I had a call—
And now I on will go.

X

Has any here a daughter fair
Too fond of reading novels,
Too apt to fall in love with care
And charming Mister Lovels,

XI

O put a Gadfly to that thing
She keeps so white and pert—
I mean the finger for the ring,
And it will breed a wort.
330

XII

Has any here a pious spouse
Who seven times a day
Scolds as King David pray'd, to chouse
And have her holy way—

XIII

O let a Gadfly's little sting
Persuade her sacred tongue
That noises are a common thing,
But that her bell has rung.

XIV

And as this is the summum bo-
num of all conquering,
I leave “withouten wordes mo”
The Gadfly's little sting.
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