A Strappado for the Diuell Epigrams and Satyres alluding to the time, with diuers measures of no lesse Delight. By MISOSUKOS[Greek], to his friend PHILOKRATES[Greek] [by Richard Brathwait] |
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To all true-bred Northerne Sparks, of
the generous society of the Cottoneers,
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![]() | A Strappado for the Diuell | ![]() |
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To all true-bred Northerne Sparks, of the generous society of the Cottoneers,
who hold their High roade by the Pinder of Wakefield, the Shoo-maker of Brandford, and the white Coate of Kendall: Light gaines, Heauie Purses, good Tradings, with cleere Conscience.
To you my friends that trade in blacke and white,In blacke and white doe I intend to write.
Where Ile insert such things are to be showne,
Which may in time adde glory and renowne,
To your commodious tradings, which shall be
Gracefull to you, and such content to me,
As I should wish, at least my lines shall tell,
To after-times, that I did wish you well,
And in my obseruations seeme to show,
That due respect I to my country owe.
First therefore ere I further goe, Ile proue,
Wherein no lesse, Ile manifest my loue,
Then in the greatest: that of all haue beene,
Shall be, or are, you seeme the worthiest men,
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On the firme arches of Philosophy;
We say, and so we by experience find,
In man there is a bodie and a mind,
The body is the couer and in it
The minds internall soueraignnesse doth fit,
As a great Princesse, much admired at,
Sphered and reared in her chaire of state,
While th' body like a hand-maid prest t'obey,
Stands to performe, what ere her mistresse say.
Yea some compare this bodies outward grace,
Unto a dainty fine contriued case,
Yet for all th' cost which is about her spent,
She sounds but harsh, without her instrument,
Which is the soule: others resembled haue,
The bodies feature to a sumptuous graue,
Which garnisht is without full tricke and trim,
Yet has nought else, but sculls and bones within.
Others compare the beauty of the mind,
To pith in trees, the body to the rind.
But of all others haue bene, be, or were,
In my opinion none doth come so neere,
In true Ressmblanes (nor indeed there can)
Then twixt the mind and lining of a man,
For its the inward substance which to mee,
Seemes for to line the body inwardly,
With ornaments of vertue, and from hence,
As he excells, we draw his excellence.
Then, my deere countrimen, to giue your due,
From whence comes mans perfection, but from you
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And sells the best of man at easie rate,
To wit, the minds resemblance, which is gotten,
By those same linings which you sell of Cotten.
For see those thin breech Irish lackies runne,
How small i'th wast, how sparing in the bombe,
VVhat Iacke a Lents they are: yet view them when
They haue beene lin'd by you, theyr proper men,
Yea I may say, man is so strange an Elfe,
VVithout your helpe, hee lookes not like himselfe.
Indeed if we were in some parts of those,
Sun-parched countries, where they vse no clothes,
But through the piercing violence of heat,
VVhich in some places is intemporate,
Th' inhabitants go naked, and appeare
In grisly sort, as if they frenticke were,
Then you that make vs man-like, should not need,
Nor your profession stand in any steed,
For why? the clymate which we then should haue,
No Bombast, Cotten, or the like would craue:
Since scorching beames would smoulder so about them,
As th' dwellers might be hot enuffe without them.
But heer's an Island that so temprate is,
As if it had plantation to your wish.
Neither so hote, but that we may abide,
Both to be clad and bombasted beside.
Neither so cold, but we may well allow it,
To weare such yarne, a blind man may looke through it.
Its true indeed, well may it be confest,
If all our parts were like some womens brest.
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Though of themselues they haue as many staines,
And riueld wrinkles, with some parts as badde,
Then th' crooked Greeke Thersytes euer had,
It might be thought your gaines would be so small,
As Ime perswad'd they would be none at all:
But thanks be giuen to heauens supernall powers,
Which sways this Masse of earth, that trade of yours,
Hath her dependance fixt in other places,
Then to be tide to womens brests or faces.
Let Painters and Complexion sellers looke,
To their crackt ware, you haue another booke
To view into, then they haue to looke in,
For yours's an honest trade, but their's is sin.
Next I expresse your worth in, shall be these,
First, your supportance of poore families,
Which are so weake in state, as I much doubt me,
They would be forc't to begge or starue without ye.
The second is, (wherein you'ue well deserued,
The care you haue to see your Country serued,
Not as such men who liue by forraine Nations,
Impouerishing this Land by transportations,
For their depraued Natures be well showne,
By louing strangers better then their owne;
Or as it seemes, to sucke their Mothers bloud,
Their Natiue Countrie for a priuate good.
The third and last, which heere exprest shall be,
Shall reference haue to your Antiquity,
All which I will dilate of, and though I
Cannot describe ech thing so mouingly,
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Proceeding from the centre of a heart,
That did this taske and labour vndertake,
For your profession and your countries sake,
Whose ayre I breath'd, O I were worthy death,
Not to loue them, who suck't with me one breath.
How many Families supported be,
Within the compasse of one Barronry,
By your profession I may boldly show,
(For what I speake, I by obseruance know.)
Yea by eye-witnesse, where so many are,
Prouided for by your peculiar care,
As many would the beggars be (I wot)
If your religious care releeu'd them not.
For there young brats, as we may well suppose,
Who hardly haue the wit to don their clothes,
Are set to worke, and well can finish it,
Being such labours as doe them befit:
Winding of spooles, or such like easie paine,
By which the least may pretty well maintaine
Themselues, in that same simple manner clad,
As well agrees with place where they were bred.
Each plies his worke, one cards, another spins,
One to the studdles goes, the next begins
To rauell for new wefte, thus none delay,
But make their webbe-vp, 'gainst each Market-day,
For to preserue their credit: but pray see,
Which of all these for all their industry,
Their early rising, or late sitting vp,
Could get one bit to eat, or drop suppe.
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And not haue you to take them off their hand.
But now by th' way, that I my loue may shew,
Vnto the poorer sort as well as you,
Let me exhort you, in respect I am,
Vnto you all both friend and Countriman,
And one that wisheth, if hee could expresse,
What's wishes be vnto your Trade successe,
As to himselfe, these pooremen (vnder fauour)
Who earne their meanes so truly by their labour,
Should not (obserue me) bee enforc't to wait,
“For what you owe, and what's their due, so late,
Time vnto them is pretious, yea one houre,
If idlye spent, is charges to the poore:
Whose labour's their Reuenue: doe but goe,
To Salomon, and he will tell you so,
Who willeth none, expresly to fore-slow,
To pay to any man what they doe owe,
But, if they haue it, not to let them stand,
Crauing their due, but pay it out a hand.
Say not vnto thy friend (saith Salomon)
I haue not for thee now, but come anon:
For why shouldst thou that hast wherewith to pay,
Put of till morrow, what thou maist to day
Beleeue me friends I could not choose but speake,
And caution you of this, for euen the weake
And impotent, whose soules are full as deere,
As be the Monarchs, whisper in mine eare,
And bid mee tell you yet to haue a care,
Not to expresse their names what men they are,
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Would make them stay, farre longer then before.
That you would see their iniuries redrest,
Of which they thinke, you were not yet possest.
But in transferring of the charge to such,
As be your Factors, which haue had small tutch
Of others griefes: your selues haue had the blame
Though't seems your Factors wel deserud the same
Nor would I haue you thinke Ime feed for this,
For they do plead in Forma pauperis
That bee my Clyents, yea Ime tied too,
In countries loue to doe that which I doe:
For euen their teares, mones, and distressed state,
Haue made me for them so compassionate,
That my soule yern'd within me, but to heare,
Their mones despisd, that were esteem'd so deere,
To their Creator, see their Image then;
And make recourse to him that gaue it them,
Whose mansion is aboue the highest sphere,
And bottles vp the smallest trickling teare,
Shed by the poorest soule, (which in a word)
Shall in that glorious synod beare record:
Where for the least non-payment which we owe,
Shall passe this doome—Away ye cursed, goe.
But I do know by my Experience,
The most of you haue such a Conscience,
As in that day, what euer shall befall,
Your sincere soules will as a brazen wall,
Shield you from such a censure; for to me,
Some doe I know bore such integrity.
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In such a crazie time, so pure a mind.
But now I must descend (as seemes to me)
From the releefe of many Familie,
By you supported, to your speciall care,
To see your country serued with good Ware;
Which of all others (if well vnderstood)
Seemes to haue ayme most at a publique good.
VVell it appeares, euen by your proper worth,
That you were borne for her that brought you forth,
Not for your selues, which instanced may be,
In that you ayme at no Monopoly,
No priuate staples, but desire to sell,
(VVhich of all other seem's approu'd as well,)
Your Ware in publique places, which may stand
No more for your auaile, then good of th' land.
Nor are you carelesse what it is you bring,
Vnto your Country, for your customing,
Dependance has vpon that due esteeme,
They haue of you, that are the same you seem,
Plaine home-bred chapmen (yet of such due note)
Their word is good, how plaine so ere's their coat.
Yea doe I wish, I may haue such as they,
Ingag'd to me, for they'l do what they say,
When silken coats, and some of them I know,
Will say farre more then ere they meane to doe.
Therefore it much concernes you to produce,
That which you know is for a common vse.
Not for the eye so much as for the proofe,
For this doth tend most to your owne behoofe:
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As being got is seldome lost againe.
Yet sure methinks my Friends, you put to th' venture,
VVhen your commodities are stretcht on th' tenter,
So that as I haue heard, when come to weting
They shrinke a yard at least, more then is fitting.
Yet doe I heare you make excuse of this.
That for your selues you know not what it is:
And for your Factors what they take, they pay,
If Shere-men stretch them so, the more knaues they.
It's true they are so, yet for all you vse
These words, beleeu't, they'l serue for no excuse,
For if you will be Common-weales men, know,
VVhether your Shere-men vse this feate or no,
Before you buy, (which found) reprooue them then,
Or else auoid such tenter-hooking men.
There is a Gallant in this towne I know,
(Who damnd himselfe, but most of them doe soe)
If that he had not, to make cloake and suit,
Some thirty yards of rug or thereabout,
Yet hardly came to fifteene afterward,
It had beene measur'd by the Taylors yard.
Now was not this too monstrous and to badde,
That it should leese full halfe of that it had?
I know not what to thinke (but to be breefe)
Either the Taylor was an arrant theefe,
And made no bones of Theft, which is a crime,
Most Taylors will dispence with at this time:
Or sure, if my weake wit can iudge of it,
The rugge was tentred more then did befit:
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Faith if you be of that minde so am I,
For its searce possible so much to put,
In Cloake and sute, vnlesse heed cloath his gut?
(And thats of th' largest size) and so't may be,
For I'ue heard one skild in Anatomie,
(Auerr thus much that euery gut in man
For at that time his lecture then began,)
VVas by due obseruation knowne to be
Seauen times his length: so that it seemes to me
If this be true, which Naturalists doe teach,
The Taylor plaid the man to make it reach,
So far, for sure the yards could not be small,
That were to make cloake, sute, cloath guts, and all.
But I doe finde you guiltlesse, for I know,
As to your Countrey, you your liues doe owe,
If priuare harmes might propagate her good,
(For Countries loue extends vnto our blood)
So there's no Commerce which you entertaine,
Aymes not in some part at a publique gaine;
And that's the cause, Gods blessings doe renew
Making all things to cotton well with you.
“Now to the third Branch, is my muse addrest,
To make your Trades Antiquity exprest,
If I had skill but rightly to define,
Th' originall foundation and the time,
The cause of your encrease, and in what space,
The people you Commerst with, and the place
Of your first planting, then it might appeare,
Vpon what termes your priuiledges were:
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As it is hard directly to show these,
In what especiall sort they were begun,
(Yet I may doe what other men haue done)
And by coniectures make your Trade displayd
Speaking in Verse, what some in prose haue saide
Some are opiniond that your trade began
From old Carmentis, who in colours span
Such exquisit rare works, as th' webs she wrought
Were farre and nere by forrain nations sought.
And as it may in ancient writ appeare.
The Phrigian works were said to com from her.
But now the better to vnfolde the same,
Know that there were two women of that name,
The one (for Stories manifest no lesse)
Euanders mother was, a Prophetesse,
Who wrot and spake in verse with such a grace,
As she renoumd the Countrey where she was.
The other was a Spinster, which did come,
Along with Aquila (when he from Rome
Marching amaine, lancht forth for Britanie)
Which Coast Carmentis did no sooner see,
Then she admir'd, for well she saw by vse.
Th' inhabitants would proue industrious.
So as in those daies rude, they grew in time,
Specially Nooth-ward) by her discipline,
To become ciuill, and where prompt to doe,
Any set Taske this Matron put them to.
Touching the place where she plantation had,
Diuers Historians haue so differed,
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And therefore difficult to reconcile
Their different opinions: for they striue,
Amongst themselues, & aske wher shes'd ariue?
Since it appeares when Aquila came ashore,
Saue 3 or 4 choice dames, there were no more.
Of woman kinde with him: for he was loath,
To ship such old hags, were not for his tooth,
And therefore such as bewty did adorne,
Wer shipt with him: for they would serue his turne
To reconcile these doubts, which seems a wōder,
Know that his fleet deuided was a sunder.
And driuē to sundry creeks, som East, som west,
Som North, som South; for so they wer distrest.
By aduerse winds (as forced from together)
They were disperst, they knew not where, nor whither.
In which auspicious tempest, happy stray,
For happy was that tempest may you say,
This modest matron with an heauy heart,
Reft of her friends ariued ith North part,
With som young maids which Aquila did minde
To bring along to keepe his men in winde.
The Port when she ariud (as't seemes to me,
For I doe ground on probability,
Drawne from the clime & Ports description)
Was the rich hauen of ancient VVorkington,
Whose stately prospect merits honours fame,
In nought more noble then a Curwens name.
And long may it reserue that name whose worth,
Hath many knights from that descent brought forth,
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In Bouskill ioynd with Curwen show't I will.
Carmentis thus ariud did trauaile on
To find finde some place fit for plantation:
For then that Coast as we in stories reade,
Lay wholy wast, and was vnpeopled.
Where in her progresse by the way she came,
She gaue to sundry places disserent name.
“Mongst which her owne name, whence it is they say,
Cartmell or Carment-hill holds to this day
Her Appelation: and now neere an end
Of her set iourney, as she did descend
Downe from the neighbouring Mountaines, she might spie,
A woody vale, seat'd deliciously.
Through which a pleasant Riuer seemd to glide,
VVhich did this vale in equall parts deuide,
This hauing spide, (on Stauelaies Cliffes they say)
She laid her staffe, whence comes the name Staffe-lay.
Corruptly Staulay, where she staid a space,
But seeing it a most notorious place,
And that the trades men were so giuen to th' Pot,
That they would drinke far more then ere they got.
She turnd from thence, yet left some Maids behinde.
That might acquaint them in this wool worke kinde.
VVhile she did plant as ancient Records be,
Neerer to Kendall in th' Barronrie.
Thus haue I drawne your linage as it was,
For other Accidents I let them passe,
Onely such things as most obseruant were,
(As the erection of your Sturbidge faire.
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On this occasion by a Kendall man,
Who comming vp or downe I know not well,
Brought his commodities that way to sell:
Where being benighted, tooke no other shield,
To lodge him and his ware then th' open field:
A Mastiffe had he, or a mungrill Cur,
Which he still cride and cald on, Stur-bitch stur,
Least miching knaues now fore the spring of day,
Should come perchance, and filch his ware away.
From hence they say tooke Sturbidge first her name,
VVhich if she did, she neede not think't a shame,
For noble Princes, as may instanc'd be,
From Braches had their names as well as she:
Such Romulus and Remus were, whose name
Tane from a she-Wolfes dug, raisd Romes first fame,
Yea Cyrus which 's as ill, (if not far worse,)
Had but a Bitch (cal'd Spacon) for his nurse.
For in descents, it is our least of care,
To aske what men once were, but what they are.
Sith great estates, yea Lordships raisd we see,
(And so shall still) from th' ranke of beggarie.
Yea Peasants (such hath been their happy fate)
VVithout desert haue come to great estate,
For true it is was said so long agon,
A paltry Sire may haue a Princely Sonne.
“But hast my Muse in colours to display,
Some auncient customes in their high roade-way,
By which thy louing Countrey men doe passe,
Conferring that now is, with what once was,
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As former times haue honour'd with renowne.
So by thy true relation 't may appeare
They are no others now, then as they were,
Euer esteem'd by auntient times records,
Which shall be shadow'd briefly in few words.
The first whereof that I intend to show,
Is merry Wakefield and her Pindar too;
Which Fame hath blaz'd with all that did belong,
Vnto that Towne in many gladsome song:
The Pindars valour and how firme he stood,
In th' Townes defence 'gainst th' Rebel Robin-hood,
How stoutly he behav'd himselfe, and would,
In spite of Robin bring his horse to th' fold,
His many May games which were to be seene,
Yeerely presented vpon Wakefield greene,
Where louely Iugge and lustie Tib would go,
To see Tom-liuely turne vpon the toe;
Hob, Lob, and Crowde the fidler would be there,
And many more I will not speake of here:
Good god how glad hath been this hart of mine
To see that Towne, which hath in former time,
So florish'd and so gloried in her name,
Famous by th' Pindar who first rais'd the same?
Yea I haue paced ore that greene and ore,
And th' more I saw't, I tooke delight the more,
“For where we take contentment in a place,
“A whole daies walke, seemes as a cinquepace:
Yet as there is no solace vpon earth,
Which is attended euermore with mirth:
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Then suddenly our ioyes reduc'd to sadnesse,
So far'd with me to see the Pindar gone,
And of those iolly laddes that were, not one
Left to suruiue: I griev'd more then Ile say,
(But now for Brad-ford I must hast away).
Brad-ford if I should rightly set it forth,
Stile it I might Banberry of the North,
And well this title with the Towne agrees,
Famous for twanging, Ale, Zeale, Cakes and Cheese:
But why should I set zeale behinde their ale?
Because zeale is for some, but ale for all;
Zealous indeed some are (for I do heare,
Of many zealous sempring sister there)
Who loue their brother, from their heart iffaith.
For it is charity, as scripture saith,
But I am charm'd, God pardon what's a misse,
For what will th' wicked say that heare of this,
How by some euill brethren 't hath been sed,
Th' Brother was found in's zealous sisters bed?
Vnto thy taske my Muse, and now make knowne,
The iolly shoo-maker of Brad-ford towne,
His gentle-craft so rais'd in former time
By princely Iourney-men his discipline,
“VVhere he was wont with passengers to quaffe,
“But suffer none to carry vp their staffe
Vpon their shoulders, whilst they past through town
For if they did he soon would beat them downe.
(So valiant was the Souter) and from hence,
Twixt Robin-hood and him grew th' difference;
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For breuity, I thought good to omit,
“Descending thither where most bound I am,
“To Kendall-white-coates, where your trade began.
Kendall (to which I all successe do wish)
May termed be that parts Metropolis,
For seate as pleasant, as the most that are,
Instanc't in th' ruin'd Castle of Lord Par.
(For seate imparaled); where we may see,
“Great men to fall as subiect are as we:
Yea there (as in a mirror) may be showen,
The Subiects fall rests in the Soueraigne's frowne.
Many especiall blessings hath the Lord,
Pour'd on this Towne, for what doth't not afford
(If necessary for mans proper vse)
Sufficient, if not superfluous?
Yea I dare say (for well it doth appeare)
That other places are more bound to her,
Then she to any, there's no Towne at all,
(Being for compasse so exceeding small,
For commerce halfe so great, nor is there any
That doth, consort in trafficke, with so many.
But to her priuate blessings, for pure aire,
Sweet holesome water, she may make compare
With any clime, for aire nor piercing is,
Nor in her temprate brething, too remisse:
For water, Kent, whence Kendall takes her name,
VVhose spring (from Kent-mere) as they say, is tane:
Swift is't in pace, light-poiz'd, to looke in cleere,
And quicke in boiling (which esteemed were)
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Without'en these, no water could be good.
For Wood (how well she was in fore-time growne)
May soone appeare by th' store that is cut downe,
Which may occasion griefe, when we shall see
What want shall be to our posteritie:
Yet who seekes to preuent this surely none,
Th' old prouerbe's in request, each man for one,
While each for one, one plots anothers fall,
“And few or none respect the good of all.
But of all blessings that were reckoned yet,
In my opinion there is none so great,
As that especiall one which they receiue,
By th' graue and reuerend Pastor which they haue;
Whose life and doctrine are so ioint together,
(As both sincere, there's no defect in either,)
For in him both Urim and Thummim be,
O that we had more Pastors such as he:
For then in Sion should Gods flocke encrease,
“Hauing such Shepheards would not flea but fleece;
Thus what wants Kendal that she can desire,
Tyre's her Pastor, and her selfe is Tyre,
He to mistrust her people, she to bring,
Wealth to her Towne by forraine trafficking?
Now must I haue the White-coates vnder-hand
Who were in fore-time a defence to th' land:
Yea such they were, as when they did appeare,
They made their foes perfume their hose for feare,
Experienst Archers, and so practis'd it,
As they would seldome shoot but they would hit.
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The golden-Archers of rich Persia,
The Siluer-shields of Greece haue borne the name,
Blaz'd by the partiall trumpe of lying fame.
Yet in behalfe of Kendall (I durst sweare it)
For true renovvne these Countries came not nere it.
As for this name of White-coate vs'd to fore
It came from th' milk-white furniture they wore
And in good-sooth they vvere but home-spun fellovvs
“Yet would these white-coats make their foes dy yellows,
VVhich might by latter times be instanced,
Euen in those border-seruices they did:
But this t'expresse (since it is knowne) were vaine,
Therefore, my friends, Ile turne to you againe,
And of some speciall matters caution you,
Which being done Ile bid you all adew:
Since God hath blest you with such benefits,
As the reliefe of nature well befits,
Hauing of euery thing sufficient store,
There's reason (Country-men) you render more
To your Creator, who so kinde has been,
To you and yours aboue all other men:
(Though all (I say) should thankfull be) then such
VVho nere receiued of him halse so much.
For well you know its in the Scripture said,
Accompt for euerie Talent must be made,
And how much more our Talents are, shall we
After this life exact Accomptants be:
Be good dispencers then of what you haue,
And doe not shut your Eares to such as craue
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VVhat you giue th' poore, you lend vnto the Lord,
And be you sure, your loue is not in vaine,
For with encrease hele pay it you againe:
Put not your labourer off with long delay,
But satisfie him if you can this day,
For pittie 'tis, poore soule, that he should sit
VVaiting your time when he hath earned it.
And this belieue me many crimes produces,
“Teeming of tenters and such like abuses
VVhich they are forc't to, cause they are delaide
VVorking for more, then ere they can be paide:
Be not too rigorous vnto your debtor,
(If he be poore) forbearance is far better,
For 'lasse what gaine accrewes to you thereby,
If that his carkasse doe in prison lie:
Yea, if you kept his bodie till't should rot,
Th' name of hard-hearted men were all you got.
And sure, if my opinion faile not me,
T'imprison debtors ther's no policie,
Vnlesse they able be and obstinate,
And like our Bank-rupts break t'encrease their state,
For th' poore they better may discharge their debt
VVhen they're at libertie and freedome get,
For labour may they when they are inlarg'd,
But when they die in prison all's discharg'd,
O then (my friends) if you haue such as these:
Remember to forgiue your trespasses,
At least be not extreame to th' poor'st of all,
“Giue him but time and he will pay you all.
225
And consummate the wishes of a friend.
So each (through peace of consciēce) rapt with pleasure
Shall ioifully begin to dance his measure.
“One footing actiuely VVilsons delight,
“Descanting on this note, I haue done what's right,
“Another ioying to be nam'd 'mongst them,
“Were made Men-fishers of poore fisher-men.
“The third as blith as any tongue can tell,
“Because he's found a faithfull Samuel.
“The fowrth is chanting of his Notes as gladly,
“Keeping the tune for th' honour of Arthura Bradly.
The 5. so pranke, he scarce can stand on ground
Asking who'le sing with him Mal Dixons round?
But where haue been my sences all this while,
That he (on whom prosperity doth smile)
And many parts of eminent respect,
Should be forgotten by my strange neglect?
Take heede my Muse least thou ingratefull be,
For well thou knowes he better thinkes of thee:
On then (I say) expresse what thou dost wish,
And tell the woreld truely what he is:
He's one has shar'd in Nature speciall part,
And though beholding little vnto art,
Yet beare his words more emphasis or force,
Then most of th' Schollers that I heare discourse,
His word keeps tutch (and of all men I know)
He has th' best inside for so meane a shewe,
Outwardly bearing, temperate, yet will be
Abonus socius in good company.
210
And therefore aymes whereto he first was made,
In briefe 'mongst all men that deserue applauding,
None (hauing lesse of Art merits more lauding:
So that though true desert crowne all the rest,
Yet if ought want in them its here exprest;
But th' Euening shade drawes on, and damps the light
“Think friends on what I sayd, and so good night.
![]() | A Strappado for the Diuell | ![]() |