Poems on Affairs of State

In days of Yore, when Albion's Kings did break
The Papal Yoke that long had gall'd their Neck,
Boldly resolv'd to vindicate their Right,
Resolv'd with superstitious Rome to fight,
Alternate Victories their Armies won,
Now th'English conquer, then the English run;
Fortune to both alike did prove benign,
Doubtful to which the Glory to resign;
At length the Britons charg'd the Roman Foe,
And put them to a total Overthrow:
The Roman Powers being thus o'erthrown,
The Roman Pontiff with Paternal Groan
Utter'd these Words from his declining Throne.

I see the fatal Crisis now is come
That puts a Period to our Mother Rome;
Methinks my Mitre's fallen off my Head,
Methinks my Majesty's already fled;
Help, I conjure you, as you hope to share
(After my Death) the noble Porph'ry Chair;
Help to support the Ark of God from Fall,
Whose Ruin needs must overwhelm you all.

He said—and strait the Scarlet-Brother rose,
Whose Robes conform'd in colour to his Nose:

His Speech (as well became a Man of God)
Scented of Fire, of Faggot and of Blood;
He mov'd his Holiness to try again
By open Force, his Fortune on the Plain.

He sat—and soon arose another Son
Of the same Church, but a more prudent one:
May't please your Holiness, the Card'nal cry'd,
Some under-handed Dealings must be try'd;
Some private Envoys into Britain send,
They most infallibly will gain your end.

Scarce had he spoke, when all the Conclave said,
Those means, and those alone should be essay'd.
They call'd St. Dominick, a Sparkish Fry'r,
One of Address, a Person de-bon-aire,
Who long a Confessor to Nuns had been,
Who all the Female Weaknesses had seen;
Him they commission'd into Britain, there
Amongst the British Wheat, to sow the Romish Tare:
Him they instruct t'attack the Female Sex,
Soft and compliant as the Ductile Wax:
Strictly they charg'd him all such means to try
As best would sute with Female Levity.

The Fryer thus instructed, wafted o're
To Fertile Albion's Sea-surrounded shoar;
Where being arriv'd, a cunning Scheme he drew
O'th' Measures he intended to pursue:
Soon he, by his insinuating Art,
Subdu'd the Fort of fair Corinna's Heart;
To her, the Priest a Necklace did present,
Whose very Make explain'd the bad Intent
Of him that gave it: at the end there hung
A Cross of Beads most exquisitely strung.
Thus then the Frier (when the Crucifix
Hung down from bigotted Corinna's Neck)
His Kisses to the Pendant Cross address't;
But his Design's to kiss Corinna's Breast.

Simple Corinna in her Necklace prides,
Whilst Priest her Folly secretly derides;
He laughs to see that Sex impos'd upon,
To see the Female Sex so eas'ly won,
To see the Women glory in their Shame,
And value what's destructive of their Fame.

How pleasant is't for cunning Priest to pray,
And seem to th'Crucifix his Pray'rs to say,
Whilst wanton Hands and Minds do strole another way?

How leud is't in the Bosom Cross to set,
As if you'd say, This Place is to be let?

What is it but to tempt the Wanton Priests
To wish to be a Cross to lie betwixt your Breasts?

“Corinna, vainer Lovers to intice,
“By this pretended Signal prompts their Vice,
“While they pay Homage to her flowing Breast,
“The pointing Jewel represents the rest.
“Thus outward Zeal they to that Image show,
“But 'tis the Idol's meant that dwells below:
“She meant it to her self, and 'tis as good
“To have it spoke, as have it understood.

No sooner had Corinna us'd the Fashion,
But all the Modish Ladies in the Nation
Resolv'd to imitate Corinna's Dress,
And wear dependant Cross between their Breasts;
Thus the Contagion o'er the Sex did fly,
And all were pleas'd with Popish Frippery.
The Priest well knew he soon should win the Men,
Could he but o'er their Wives a Conquest gain;
For Man has always us'd to be, from Adam,
Yielding to th'Will of his Endearing Madam.
So subtle Serpent first with Eve began,
And having won her, overreach'd the Man;
Just so Rome's Priests (the Serpent's Progeny)
Do imitate their Father's Policy.
But now the time, too soon the time was come,
That Dominick must Retrograde to Rome,

To tell th'Event of his Commission,
To tell what mighty Wonders he had done.
Soon as h' arriv'd the Consistory sat,
Eager to hear St. Dominick relate
The wonderful, th'incredible Success
He had i'th' Business of his Holiness.

Nor were their Expectations baulkt, for he
With all his Art harangu'd the Company,
Telling them how successful he had been,
What means he us'd the British Hearts to win.
This soon made all the Cardinals agree,
That Necklaces and such like Foppery
Would not impede the Growth of Popery.

Then they resolv'd another Priest to send
To perfect this, their so Important End.

University of Virginia Library

The Jubilee Necklace; or a Present from C. III. to the D. of M. a Satyr.