A postscript to the new Bath guide A Poem by Anthony Pasquin [i.e. John Williams] |
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| XIV. |
 | A postscript to the new Bath guide |  |
147
POETICK ADMONITION TO DOCTOR LONG OF BATH,
The greatest Chiropodist in the Universe.
FAIRE SA CHARGE AVEC DIGNITE NOUS SERIONS JUSTE.
I
Loth as I am to praise the crowd,I must do merit honour;
And praise deservedly bestow'd,
Brings credit to the donor.
148
II
Whether from Leyden's learned spot,Or Salamanca's vale,
Or Edinburgh's tremendous knot,
Great Doctor Long—all hail!
III
Shall such a sage as Heav'n made you,Become a sapient prig?—
Throw by that scratch, I prithee do,
And wear a larger wig.
IV
'Bout spectacles, cravats, and canes,Most Galens make a fuss;
Without 'em could they squeeze the brains,
Of spectacles—like us!
149
V
Such petite arts, such fourberies,Make many a blockhead pass—
As wise enough to steal a fee,
Whom nature meant—an ass!
VI
I pray be careful of your pence,Thou wondrous man of men:
For such a Biped with such sense
We ne'er shall see again.
VII
Deem not this well-meant zeal unkind—Contempt pursues each elf!
And when old Time has marr'd your mind,
She'll take you to herself!
150
VIII
Be like a beau garçon, quite clean,To ease the pangs of Beauty:
And mark your instrument is keen,
To execute your duty.
IX
When modish Husbands call on thee,To extirpate their corns;
I charge you make no simile
Analagous to—horns.
X
Whene'er you prune a Blacklegs' toe,Who lives by fraud and trick;
I hope you'll goad the social foe,
And cut him—to the quick.
151
XI
When lofty Prudes demand thy skill,Observe each virgin's eye:
Be cautious how you meet their will,
Nor lift the leg—too high.
XII
When Avarice claims thy regard,To sooth his pedal smart;
Though you should note his feet are hard,
Say nothing 'bout—his heart.
XIII
The Sick, the Sound, the Short, the Tall,Contribute to thy schemes:
Here the Great Vulgar and the Small
Are fond of the extremes.
152
XIV
Chiefs shall surround thy form to gaze,In thee all have affiance;
God said,—Let Long like Phœbus blaze
O'er all the fields of science.
Bath, July 8th, 1789.
| A postscript to the new Bath guide | |