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A Strappado for the Diuell

Epigrams and Satyres alluding to the time, with diuers measures of no lesse Delight. By MISOSUKOS[Greek], to his friend PHILOKRATES[Greek] [by Richard Brathwait]

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To the truely worthy, the Alderman of Kendall and his brethren.
 
 
 
 
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173

To the truely worthy, the Alderman of Kendall and his brethren.

Sir in regard of due respect to you,
(If I could write ought that might yeeld a due,
To th' Corporation of which I may call,
(And dewly to) your selfe the principall:
I should desire, if power were to desire,
To take an Eagles wing and soare farre higher.
Then hitherto my weake Muse could attaine,
But 'lasse I see my labour is in vaine;
For th' more I labour to expresse your worth,
The lesse I able am to set it forth:
Yet let not my endeuours so be taken,
As if with power my will had me forsaken;
For know (though my ability be poore)
My good-will vie's with any Emperour.
Yea I must write and though I cannot speake,
What I desire yet I will euer seeke,
T'expresse that loue which hath been borne by me,
(And shall be still) to your Society.
Then cause I know your place and haue an ayme,
To shewe your merits in a shadow'd name:

176

I must be bold (affection makes me bold,
To tell you of some errors vncontrol'd,
VVhich to your best discretion Ile referre,
Hauing full power to punish such as erre.
First therefore I intend to speake of is;
Because, through it, there's many do amisse,
Is Idlenesse, which I haue partly knowne,
To be a vice inherent to your towne:
Where errant pedlers, mercinarie slaues,
Tinkers, and Tookers and such idle knaues
Are too too conuersant: let your commaund
Suppresse this sinne and refuse of the land,
They much disparage both your towne and you:
Send them to th' whipping-stocke, for that's their dew.
You know the Lord (whose will should be obeid)
Hath in his sacred word expresly sayd,
That those which wil not labour they should sterue,
(For rightly so their merits do deserue.
Yea if we should in morall stories see,
What punishments inflicted vse to be
On such as could not giue accompt what they
Did make profession of from day to day;
Yea such as could not (vpon their demaund
Expresse how they did liue vpon their hand;
I make no question (but by Pagans care,)
You that both Magistrates and Christians are,
VVould see your Towne (by th' punishments exprest)
By selfe-same censures to be soone redrest.
And this same error do I not espie,
Onely in them, but in the younger frie,

177

VVho in their youth do lauish out their time.
Without correction or due discipline:
Respectlesse of themselues (as't may be sayd)
They seeme forgetfull wherto they were made:
O looke to this let them not run at large,
For ouer these you haue a speciall charge;
And if they fail beleeu't from me it's true,
Their blood will be requir'd of some of you.
We reade in Rome how they did still retaine,
Some exercise that they their youth might traine,
In warlike discipline or liberall arts,
Or education in some forraine parts;
So as in time as after it was showne,
These actions gain'd their Citty great renowne.
But whence can I imagine that this sin,
Wherein too many haue been nusled in,
Had her originall but from that staine
Of reputation, and the worlds baine,
(Which I in briefe am forced to expresse,)
To wit, that swinish vse of drunkennesse?
A vice in great request (for all receiue it)
And being once train'd in't there's few can leaue it;
How happie should I in my wishes be,
If I this vice out of request could see,
VVithin that natiue place where I was borne,
It lies in you, deere Townes-men to reforme,
VVhich to performe, if that I might presume,
Or so much vnder fauour to assume.
As to expresse what my obseruance taught me,
Or bring to you what my experience brought me.

176

I would make bold some outward grounds to lay,
Which might in some sort lye an open way,
For rectifying such abuse as grow,
By this foule vice, and I will tell you how.
There is no meane that sooner moues to good,
If that the same be rightly vnderstood,
Then is example, for it's that doth moue,
Such firme impression as we onely loue,
What greater wittes approue, and what they say,
Stands for an axiome mongst the younger aye,
Which by the Prouerbe euery man discernes,
Since as the old Cocke crowes, the young Cock learns;
So weake is youth, as there is nought in them,
Which they deriue not from the Eldermen,
Quickly peruerted (so depraud's our will)
If they see ought in the Elder sort that's ill,
And hardly (when they'r customed in sinne,)
Can they be wain'd from that they'r nusled in,
But if they once perceiue the Elder sort,
Hates vice in youth, and will reprooue her for't
If they see Vertue honourd by the Graue
And reuerend Magistrate, care they will haue,
To rectifie their errors, and reduce,
Their streying courses to a ciuill vse.
If this by due obseruance doe appeare,
Methinks you that are Elders, you should feare,
To act ought ill, lest your example should,
Approue in others, what should be contrould.
And ill may th' Father chastise in his sonne,
That vice, which he himselfe is guilty on.

177

Your patternes are most obuious to the eye,
Of each vnseason'd youngling passeth by,
VVhich if he see defectiue but in part
He presently applies it to his heart:
For Education which we may auerre
With that diuinely-learn'd Philosopher
To be a second Nature) now and then
Doth alter quite the qualities of men,
And make them so transform'd from what they were,
(As if there did some other men appeare:
Yea so far from their Nature they're estraung'd,
As if they had been in the cradle chang'd:
And of this second nature I am sure,
Example is the onely gouernour.
Which Plutarch termes th' Idea of our life,
Tymon an emelation or a strife
We haue to imitate, that what we see,
May in our selues as well accomplisht bee.
O then you Presidents (whose yeeres do giue
To most of you a faire prerogatiue)
Reforme your selues (if you see ought) and then
You better may reform't in other men.
As you are first by order and by time,
So first inioine your selues a Discipline;
VVhich being observ'd by you and dewly kept,
You may wake such as haue securely slept
In their excesse of vanities: 'mongst which
Let me (with all respect to you) beseech
That you would seek exactly to redresse,
(That brutish vice of beastly drunkennesse.

178

And first to propagate a publique good,
Banish't I pray you from your brother-hood,
For diuerse haue obserued it and will;
(For man obserues not good so oft as ill.
What's done by th' Elders of a Corporation,
Giues vnto other men a toleration:
If any such there be (as well may be)
For that vice raignes in each Society:
First caution them, bid them for shame refraine
To lay on Grauity so fowle a staine;
Tell them much happens twixt the cup and lip,
And those same teres of their good fellowship,
If they in time reforme not what's amisse,
Shall drowne their reeling soules in hels abisse:
Where they may yaule and yarme til that they burst,
Before they get one drop to quench their thirst,
Since th' punishment shall be proportion'd there,
To that delight which we do liue in here.
O then, for Gods loue, bid them now prepare,
To be more strict then hitherto they were,
Or bid them haue recourse vnto their glasse,
And there surueigh how swiftly time doth passe,
How many aged Emblemes time doth showe,
In those same wrinkles of their furrow'd browe;
How many motiues of declining age,
What arguments of a short pilgrimage,
How many messengers of instant death,
As dropsie, gout, and shortnes of the breath,
Catarrs descending howerly from the head,
Distaste of meates, wherein they surfeted:

179

And thousand such proceeding from ill diet,
Nights-sitting vp, rere bankets, mid-dayes ryet,
But if these doting Gray-beards I haue nam'd,
VVill not by your intreaties be reclaim'd,
Then I would wish (because these vices lurke)
That you would fall another way to worke,
And by dew castigation force them take
Another course for youths example sake:
For those that will not now, at last repent
After some twice or thrice admonishment,
Deserue a punishment, nay which is worse,
The Churches Anathema or that curse,
Which shall lie heauy on them in that day,
When what they owe they must be forc't to pay:
But some of you such Reuerend-men appeare,
As you deserue that title which you beare,
Townes Guardians, protectors of our peace,
And sole renewers of our hopes encrease,
So discreete and so temporate withall,
As if Rome did her men Patritians cal,
I without assentation might be bolde
To name you so, nor could I be control'd.
VVherefore I need nor feare but you that are
Of such sincerity will haue a care,
To roote out these (which as they seeme to me)
Be maine Corrupters of your libertie,
I wish it and I hope to see it too,
That when I shall come to re-visit you
I may much glory and so much the more,
To see them good that were deprau'd before:

180

Nor doe I onely shadow such should giue,
Example vnto others how to liue;
But ev'n such vice-supporters as begin,
Brauado-like to gallant it in sin:
These are incorrigible saying their state
Transcends the power of any Magistrate:
For why they're Gentlemen, whence they alleadge
They may be drunkards by a priuiledge:
But I would haue you tell them this from me,
There is no such thing in gentilitie,
Those that will worthily deserue that name,
Must by their vertues character the same:
For vice and generous birth (if vnderstood)
Differ as much in them, as ill from good.
Besides, if they do snuffe when they're reproou'd,
Or seeme as if, forsooth their blood were moov'd:
Tell them that weake and slender is that towne,
VVhen snuffes haue power to menace iustice down:
Shew me true Resolution, they may know
That God hath placed Magistrates below,
Who haue power to controle and chastice sin,
(And blest's that town where such commaund hath bin:)
For tell me, if when great men do offend
Iustice were speech-lesse, to what especiall end
Should lawes enacted be? Since they do take
Nothing but Flies, like th' webs which spiders make
Where small ones they both ta'ne and punish'd be,
While great ones breake away more easily:
But rightly is it which that Cynicke sayde,
Who seeing iustice on a time ore-swaid,

181

And ouer bearded by a great-mans will,
Why thus it is, quoth he, with Iustice still:
Since th' golden Age did leue her, for at first
She was true-bred and scorn'd to be enforst
To ought but right, yea such was Time as then,
“Things lawfull were most royall amongst men:
But now she that should be a sharpe edg'd axe,
To cut downe all sin's made a nose of waxe;
Wherein it's Iustice (if I not mistake it)
What ere it be, iust as the Great-men make it.
But Saturne is not banisht from your towne,
For well I know there's perfect iustice showne,
There Themis may be sayd to haue her seate,
VVhere poore-ones may be heard as well as great,
There's no corruption but euen weight to all,
Equally temper'd, firme, impartiall,
Sincere, Iudicious, and so well approu'd,
As they that iustice loue or ere haue lov'd,
Are bound to hold that Corporation deere,
Since in her colours she's presented there.
Nor do I only speake of such as be,
Iustices nam'd within your libertie,
But of those men where with your Bench is grac't
And by Commission ore the County plac't.
There may we see one take in hand the cause,
Ferreting out the secrecy of th' lawes
Anatomizing euery circumstance,
Where if he ought omit, its a meere chance,
So serious is he, and withall so speedy
As sure his Pater noster's not more ready:

182

Yea I haue wondred how he could containe
So many law-querkes in so small a braine,
For as we see full of in summer time,
When Sun begins more South ward to incline,
A showre of haile-stones ratling in the aire:
Euen so (for better can I not compare)
His lawe exhaling meteors) would he
Send out his Showre of law-termes vsually:
So as I thought and manie in those places,
That it did thunder lawe, and raine downe cases.
Yea I haue knowne some strucke in such a blunder
As they imagin'd that his words were thunder;
Which to auoide (poore snakes) so scar'd were they,
As they would leaue the Bench and sneake away.
There may we see another so well knowne
To penall statutes, as there is not one,
(So well experienst in them he does make him)
Which can by any kinde of meanes escape him.
Besides for execution which we call,
The soueraigne end and period of all;
Yea which may truly be esteem'd the head,
From whence the life of Iustice doth proceed
He merits dew respect: witnesse (I say)
Those whipping-stocks erected in th' high way
With stockes and pilleries, which he hath set
To haue the vagrant Begger soundly bet,
Nor doth he want for any one of these,
A statute in warme store if that he please;
Which on occasion he can well produce,
Both for himselfe and for his Countries vse,

183

Another may we see, though spare of speech,
And temporate in discourse, yet he may teach
By his effectuall words the rasher sort,
Who speake so much as they are taxed for't.
Yea so discreetly sober as I wish,
Many were of that temper as he is.
For then I know their motions would be good,
Nor would they speake before they vnderstood.
Another solid, and though blunt in words,
Yet marke him and his countrey scarse affords
One more udicious, pithy in discourse,
Sound in his reasons, or of more remorce,
To such as are distressed, for he'l take,
The pore mans cause, though he be nere so weake.
And much haue I admir'd him in Surueigh
Of his deserts showne more from day to day,
That he should so disualue worldly praise,
When euery man seekes his esteeme to raise.
And worthyly, for neuer nature brought
Foorth to the world a man so meanely wrought,
Of such rare workemanship as you shall finde,
In th' exquisite perfection of his minde.
Yea, if too partiall though't I should not be,
(In that he hath been still a friend to me)
I could expresse such arguments of loue,
As were of force th' obduratst hearts to moue,
To admiration of those vertues rest,
Within the generous table of his brest,
But I haue euer hated so has hee,
“To paint mens worths in words of flatterie.

184

Yea I'doe know it derogates from worth,
To haue her selfe in colours shadow'd forth,
Sith vertue rather craues for to be knowen
Vnto her selfe, then vnto others showen.
Onely thus much ile say; ordain'd he was,
Euen in his Cradle others to surpasse.
Since for his education it may seeme,
Being in mountaines bred, that it was meane.
But now of such an equall forme combin'de
As he is strong in body and in minde.
Sincerely honest, and so well approu'd,
As where he is not known, hee's heard & lou'd,
So as on Mountaines born, his thoughts aspire,
To Sions mount, & Ioues triumphant quire.
Another there's, who howsoere he seeme,
In th' eie of some distemper'd iudgements mene.
In vnderstanding, I doe know his wit,
Out-strips the most of those that censure it.
Besides theres in him parts of more desert
For Nature is supplide in him by Art.
And wheras som to's wit impute the wrong,
I rather doe impute it to his tongue.
Since well I know by due experience,
(At such times as he deign'd me conference)
For reading profound reason ripe conceipts,
Discourse of stories, arguing of estates,
Such generall iudgement he in all did show,
As I was wrapt with admiration, how
Mē could esteem so menely (hairebraind-elues)
Of such an one was wiser then themselues.

185

Its true indeed, hee's not intemperate.
(As this age fashions) nor opinionate,
But humble in his iudgement, which may be,
Some cause that he is censur'd as we see.
Alas of griefe, none should be deemed wise,
But such as can like timists temporizè.
Expose their reputation to the shame
Of an offensiue or iniurious name.
Whereas if we true wisdome vnderstood,
We'd think non could be wise but such wer good.
And though we question thus, asking what mā?
Vnlesse he be a polititian,
Yet pollicie will be of small auaile,
When that arch polititian Machauell,
Shall flame and frie in his tormented soule,
Because to th' world wise, to heauen a foole.
Yea I doe wish (if ere I haue a sonne)
He may be so wise, as haue wit to shun
A selfe conceipt of being soly wise,
In his owne bleared and dim-sighted eies,
For then I know there will in him apeare,
A Christian zealous and religious feare,
Which like an Angell will attend him still,
Mouing to good, and waine him from whats ill.
And far more comfort should I haue of him,
Then if through vaine conceipt he should begin
To pride him in his follies, for by them,
We see how many roote out house and name,
Yea of all vertues which subsisting be,
None makes more perfect then humilitie.

186

Since by it man deemes of himselfe and's worth,
As of the vilest worme the earth brings forth.
Which disesteeming I may boldly name,
More noble then to glorie in our shame.
For it doth leade vs in a glorious path,
With safest conduct from the day of wrath.
When standig 'fore that high Tribunall there
We're found far better then wee did appeare.
And such is hee-yet haue I heard it vowde,
“Hee has not witt enough for to bee proude.
VVheras wee know, and by experience see,
That fooles bee still the proudest men that be.
Nor is he onely humble, for I heare,
Of other proper vertues which appeare
In his well tempred disposition, when
I hear of no complaints mongst poorer men,
Who are his tenaunts for he has report,
Of shewing mercy, and is blessed for't.
And is not this a poynt of wisedome, say?
For to prouide thus for another day
That for terrestriall things, hee may obtayne
A farre more glorious and transcendent gayne.
Sure (I doe thinke) there is no foole to him,
That does enrich his progeny by sinne,
Makes shipwrack of a conscience, bars himselfe,
Of after hopes to rake a little pelfe.
Ruines his soule, and ads vnto the store,
Of his accounts, by racking of the pore.
VVhereas ofth' other side hees truely wise,
(Though not to man, yet in thalmighties eies.

187

Who pitty and compassion doth professe,
To th' forlorne widdow and the fatherlesse,
Does right to all men, nor will make his tongue,
An aduocate for him who's in the wrong;
Accepts of no aduantage, which may seeme
To staine his conscience, or to mak't vncleane:
Hates an oppressors name, and all his time,
Was neuer wont to take too great a fine.
Beares himselfe blamelesse before God and man.
Hee's truely wise, or much deceau'd I am.
Indeed he is, and such an one is plast,
In that same Mirror which I spake of last.
VVho without assentation may be said,
To haue a patterne vnto others laid,
In actions of this kind, yea I may sweare,
Rather for these respects I hold him deare,
Then for his state, which may be well exprest,
To equall, if not to surmount the best.
But Iu'e too farre digrest, in breefe it's he,
VVho hates the leuen of the Pharisee,
And (which is rare) 'mongst richer men to find,
He counts no wealth like th' riches of the mind.
How happy you (Graue Elders) to haue these,
Assistants in your peace, meanes for your ease,
So as their serious care ioyn'd to their powers,
May seeme in some degree to lessen yours,
For powers vnited, make the army stronger,
“And minds combin'd preserue that vnion longer.
O may there be, one mind and one consent,
(Cohering in one proper continent)

188

One firme opinion, generall decree,
Amongst you all concurring mutually:
And may your Throne, which such good men affords,
Nere fall at oddes by multiplying words,
Since the spirit of contention stirres our blood,
And makes vs oft neglect a publique good.
Thus with my best of wishes, I will end,
Resting your euer true deuoted friend.
R. B.