The Works of Peter Pindar [i.e. John Wolcot] :: :: University of Virginia Library

THE hedge-hogs in a war most fatal,
A war commenc'd with the dog-nation,
Like us, unlucky, losing each land-battle,
And trembling all for their salvation,
Agreed to furnish contribution,
With patriotic resolution,
As much as every hedge-hog could afford:
One of the tribe, no hedge-hog sutler,
An Elwes or a Sir John Cutler,
And master of a comfortable hoard,
Affected to be scarcely worth a crown,
Therefore unable to come down.

493

The hedge-hog council sent to let him know
The tide could never be so low:

‘Enter my house, and be convinc'd,’ quoth he.
The messenger stepp'd in, and pry'd about:
Appearances left not a doubt—
Of wealth a vestige not a soul could see:
In full conviction then they left the door:
‘'Squire Hedge-hog certainly is very poor.’

As from the door, the humble door
Of our 'Squire Hedge-hog all so poor,
Full convinc'd, they pass'd along;
A hillock of fresh earth appear'd,
Seeming but very lately rear'd:
This hatch'd suspicions somewhat strong.

With teeth and claws they oped the mound—
Where such a treasure soon was found!
Forth trots the poverty-struck 'squire,
Begging and praying beyond measure,
They would not take away his treasure:
Was sorry he had been so great a liar;

‘Was ready with his quota to the state,
T'assist the war, and give the dogs their sate.’
But, no—it was against the laws: they found
He could not have it—no such thing,
As treasure under ground
Belong'd of right unto the king.

Thus was 'Squire Hedge-hog very fairly bit,
Now to apply this fable to 'Squire Pitt:

Pitt, canst thou say with a good grace,
That thine is not a hedge-hog-case?
Believe me, thou'rt not poor in purse,
However thou mayst be in spirit:
Thine income, for the nation's curse,
Is much, I fear, beyond thy merit.

494

The Cinque Ports, with a few remunerations,
Prove to John Bull some trifling obligations,
Which Wyndham cheese-parings might call;
Which cheese-parings, if in my pow'r,
Should, in the space of half an hour,
Return to where they started, like a ball.

Had justice nicely weigh'd thy true desert,
What had she giv'n?—I'll tell thee what—
The dame had giv'n, to please thy lofty heart,
Just half enough to feed a rat:
An animal of vicious nature,
Who, after breakfasting, and dining,
And supping in a house, and undermining,
Leaves it a prey to fire and water
(As soon as all the plunder ceases),
To tear it in a thousand pieces.