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Stultifera Navis

or, The Modern Ship of Fools [by S. W. H. Ireland]
Ireland, W. H. (1777-1835)
  
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DEDICATION.
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STULTIFERA NAVIS.
 I. 
SECTION I. OF FOOLISH UNPROFITABLE BOOKS.
 II. 
SECTION II. OF NEW FASHIONS, AND FOOLS THAT WEAR DISGUISED GARMENTS.
 III. 
SECTION III. OF OLD FOOLS—VIZ. THE LONGER THEY LIVE THE MORE THEY ARE GIVEN TO FOLLY.
 IV. 
SECTION IV. OF OLD FOOLS WHO HANKER AFTER YOUNG WOMEN.
 V. 
SECTION V. OF SUCH AS KNOW NOTHING, AND WILL LEARN NOTHING, OR OF FOOLS OPPRESSED BY THEIR OWN FOLLY.
 VI. 
SECTION VI. OF FOOLISH COUNSELLORS, JUDGES, AND MEN OF LAW.
 VII. 
SECTION VII. OF FOOLISH MODERN WIVES AND FASHIONABLES.
 VIII. 
SECTION VIII. OF FOOLS WHO CONTEMN AND DESPISE RELIGION.
 IX. 
SECTION IX. OF FOOLISH GLUTTONS AND DRUNKARDS.
 X. 
SECTION X. OF YOUNG FOOLS WHO MARRY OLD ONES FOR LOVE OF GOLD.
 XI. 
SECTION XI. OF VENAL FOOLS.
 XII. 
SECTION XII. OF FOOLS WHO MASQUERADE AT MIDNIGHT.
 XIII. 
SECTION XIII. OF FOOLS WHO SEEK FORTUNE AT GAMES OF CHANCE, &c.
 XIV. 
SECTION XIV. OF FOOLISH PRIESTS AND BABBLING PARSONS IN THE CHOIR.
 XV. 
SECTION XV. OF FOOLS WHO PRACTISE VILENESS OF MANNERS AT TABLE.
 XVI. 
SECTION XVI. OF AVARICIOUS FOOLS.
 XVII. 
SECTION XVII. OF THE VICE OF SLOTH IN FOOLS.
 XVIII. 
SECTION XVIII. OF FOOLISH FLATTERERS AND GLOSSERS.
 XIX. 
SECTION XIX. OF THE VANITY OF FOOLS.
 XX. 
SECTION XX. OF USURIOUS FOOLS.
 XXI. 
SECTION XXI. OF FOOLS WHO SUPERINTEND THE EDUCATION OF CHILDREN.
 XXII. 
SECTION XXII. OF PRODIGAL FOOLS.
 XXIII. 
SECTION XXIII. OF CURIOUS AND PRYING FOOLS.
 XXIV. 
SECTION XXIV. OF THE FOOL THAT IS JEALOUS OF HIS WIFE WITHOUT A CAUSE.
 XXV. 
SECTION XXV. OF FOOLS THAT KNOW AND ARE INSTRUMENTAL TO THEIR WIVES' INCONSTANCY.
 XXVI. 
SECTION XXVI. OF FOOLS THAT ARE PASSIONATE AT TRIFLES.
 XXVII. 
SECTION XXVII. OF FOOLS WHO RELY ON THE STABILITY OF FORTUNE.
 XXVIII. 
SECTION XXVIII. OF FOOLISH SCOFFERS AND BACKBITERS.
 XXIX. 
SECTION XXIX. OF FOOLS THAT DO OTHER MEN'S BUSINESS, AND NEGLECT THEIR OWN.
 XXX. 
SECTION XXX. OF FOOLS WHO COLLECT OLD BOOKS AND PRINTS.
 XXXI. 
SECTION XXXI. OF FOOLISH ANTIQUARIES.
 XXXII. 
SECTION XXXII. OF FOOLS WHO DELIGHT IN THE CHASE.
 XXXIII. 
SECTION XXXIII. OF FOOLS WHO PRETEND TO DESPISE DEATH.
 XXXIV. 
SECTION XXXIV. OF DISCONTENTED FOOLS.
 XXXV. 
SECTION XXXV. OF FOOLS WHO GO TO LAW FOR TRIFLES.
 XXXVI. 
SECTION XXXVI. OF FOOLS WHO PROVIDE NOTHING IN YOUTH TO LIVE IN AGE.
 XXXVII. 
SECTION XXXVII. OF FOOLS WHO ARE IN LOVE.
 XXXVIII. 
SECTION XXXVIII. OF FOOLISH ASTRONOMERS AND STAR GAZERS.
 XXXIX. 
SECTION XXXIX. OF FOOLISH ALCHEMISTS.
 XL. 
SECTION XL. OF THE VAIN BOASTING OF FOOLS.
 XLI. 
SECTION XLI. OF AMBITIOUS FOOLS.
 XLII. 
SECTION XLII. OF FOOLS WHO BOAST THEIR ANCESTRY AND PEDIGREE.
 XLIII. 
SECTION XLIII. OF FOOLS WHO PURSUE UNPROFITABLE STUDY.
 XLIV. 
SECTION XLIV. OF FOOLISH POETS AND AUTHORS.
 XLV. 
SECTION XLV. OF IMPERIAL FOOLS.
 XLVI. 
SECTION XLVI. OF FOOLS WHO THINK NONE SO WISE AS THEMSELVES.
 XLVII. 
SECTION XLVII. OF FOOLS WHO DAILY PROLONG THEIR OWN AMENDMENT.
 XLVIII. 
SECTION XLVIII. OF NOBLE FOOLS.
 XLIX. 
SECTION XLIX. OF THE DISEASED FOOL, THAT WILL NOT ATTEND TO HIS PHYSICIAN.
 L. 
SECTION L. OF FOOLS THAT WILLINGLY PUT THEMSELVES IN THE WAY OF PERIL.
 LI. 
SECTION LI. OF GENTLEMEN FOOLS.
 LII. 
SECTION LII. OF FOOLS WHO IN AGE GIVE BAD EXAMPLES TO YOUTH.
 LIII. 
SECTION LIII. OF THE ENVIOUS FOOL.
 LIV. 
SECTION LIV. OF FOOLS WHO BELIEVE IN PREDESTINATION.
 LV. 
SECTION LV. OF MARTIAL FOOLS.
 LVI. 
SECTION LVI. OF FOOLS WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND A GAME, AND YET WILL PLAY.
 LVII. 
SECTION LVII. OF FOOLS WHO PLACE THEIR TRUST IN HERITAGE.
 LVIII. 
SECTION LVIII. OF TRADING FOOLS.
 LIX. 
SECTION LIX. OF FOOLS THAT WILL NOT SPEAK THE TRUTH, FOR FEAR OF PUNISHMENT.
 LX. 
SECTION LX. OF FOOLS WHOSE LABOUR CONSTITUTES THEIR PLEASURE.
 LXI. 
SECTION LXI. OF FOOLS WHO DESPISE MISFORTUNE.
 LXII. 
SECTION LXII. OF THE FOLLY OF ALL THE WORLD.
 LXIII. 
SECTION LXIII. DESCRIPTION OF A WISE MAN.
 LXIV. 
SECTION LXIV. OF THE REWARD OF WISDOM .
 LXV. 
SECTION LXV. OF BACKBITERS, AND SUCH AS SHALL DESPISE THIS WORK.
 LXVI. 
SECTION LXVI. THE AUTHOR A FOOL.

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265

SECTION LXII. OF THE FOLLY OF ALL THE WORLD.

Ce monde est plein de fous, et qui n'en veut pas voir,
Doit se renfermer seul, et casser son miroir.

All the world's a mass of folly,
Youth is gay, age melancholy;
Youth is spending, age is thrifty,
Mad at twenty, cold at fifty.
Man is naught but folly's slave,
From the cradle to the grave .
What creates the infant's joy?
Rattle, bells, and painted toy:
What the youth's? the wish to prove,
All his fervor, all his love;
And these pastimes, when grown old,
All forgot; absorb'd in gold .
266

What but wealth is man pursuing,
What but gold is man's undoing;
Mundane glory's supposition,
Worldly pleasure's imposition;
Health's precarious, life's uncertain,
Soon or late, death drops the curtain.
Rear'd in folly's ideot schoolerie,
Ev'ry age thus boasts its foolerie;
From the mewling infant season,
To man's dotage—want of reason :
Then bravo, fool, thy flag's unfurl'd,
And waves the ensign of the world.
267

L'ENVOY OF THE POET.

Folly and humankind agree so well,
Zany shall toll dame reason's passing knell.

THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS.

Come, cheer up fools, these welcome tidings greet,
For now the world is yours, there's room for bliss;
Such countless numbers shall fit out a fleet,
Instead of manning only one Navis.
 

It is sufficient to annotate this stanza with the words of Horace,

Omnes stultos insanire.

From the moment reason begins to assume its emporium, folly and vice equally claim a share of the human mind, because the passions ripen quicker than the intellect, and it was on this account, that Bias, one of the seven sages of Greece, hath said, Οι πλειονες κακοι.

It appears very surprising, on the first contemplation, that men should slip into the different stages of existence, indulging in their foibles, without being scarcely ever noticed by those individuals who surround them; yet this is not at all to be wondered at, when we consider that

Niminum insanus paucis videatur, eo quod,
Maxima pars hominum morbo jactatur eodem.

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