A Strappado for the Diuell Epigrams and Satyres alluding to the time, with diuers measures of no lesse Delight. By MISOSUKOS[Greek], to his friend PHILOKRATES[Greek] [by Richard Brathwait] |
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Vpon a Poets Palfrey, lying
in Lauander, for the discharge
of his Prouender.
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 | A Strappado for the Diuell |  |
Vpon a Poets Palfrey, lying in Lauander, for the discharge of his Prouender.
An Epigram.
If I had liu'd but in King Richards dayes,
Who in his heat of passion, midst the force
Of his Assailants troubled many waies
Crying A horse, a Kingdome for a horse.
O then my horse which now at Liuery stayes,
“Had beene set free, where now hee's forc't to stand
“And like to fall into the Ostlers hand.
Who in his heat of passion, midst the force
Of his Assailants troubled many waies
Crying A horse, a Kingdome for a horse.
O then my horse which now at Liuery stayes,
“Had beene set free, where now hee's forc't to stand
“And like to fall into the Ostlers hand.
If I had liu'd in Agamemnons time,
Who was the leader of the Mirmidons,
Mounting aloft as wantons in their prime,
Of frolike youth, planting the Græcians
In their due order, then this horse of mine,
“Had not bin thus confin'd, for there he might,
“Haue showne himselfe, and done his master right.
Who was the leader of the Mirmidons,
Mounting aloft as wantons in their prime,
Of frolike youth, planting the Græcians
In their due order, then this horse of mine,
“Had not bin thus confin'd, for there he might,
“Haue showne himselfe, and done his master right.
155
If I had liu'd when Pallas horse was made,
Aptly contriu'd for th' ruine of poore Troye
O then there had beene doings for my Iade,
For he had beene sole author of annoy,
Vnto the Troians: well as I haue said,
“He might be Pallas horse in legge and limme,
“Being so neere proportion'd vnto him.
Aptly contriu'd for th' ruine of poore Troye
O then there had beene doings for my Iade,
For he had beene sole author of annoy,
Vnto the Troians: well as I haue said,
“He might be Pallas horse in legge and limme,
“Being so neere proportion'd vnto him.
If I had liu'd in Pasiphaes raigne,
That lusty Lasse, in pleasure euer full,
And perfect dalliance: O I blest had beene,
“She sure would loue a horse, that lou'd a Bull,
And better might it with her honour seeme.
“A Bul's too fierce, a horse more modest aye,
“Th' one routs and rores, the others answer's ney.
That lusty Lasse, in pleasure euer full,
And perfect dalliance: O I blest had beene,
“She sure would loue a horse, that lou'd a Bull,
And better might it with her honour seeme.
“A Bul's too fierce, a horse more modest aye,
“Th' one routs and rores, the others answer's ney.
If I had liu'd in Alexanders age,
Crowning my youth 'mongst his triumphant heires,
O then that prince, who in his heat of rage,
Bad th' Macedons get stallions for their Mares,
More liuely and more likely would not gage,
“His loue for nought, to such as mongst the rest,
“Would bring a Stallion that could doe with best.
Crowning my youth 'mongst his triumphant heires,
O then that prince, who in his heat of rage,
Bad th' Macedons get stallions for their Mares,
More liuely and more likely would not gage,
“His loue for nought, to such as mongst the rest,
“Would bring a Stallion that could doe with best.
If I had liu'd amongst th' Amazonites,
Those Warlike champions, monuments of Fame,
Trophies of Honour friends to choice delights,
Who much desired to propagate, their name,
“And therefore wisht that they so many nights.
“Might haue free vse with men, in due remorce,
“For want of men would take them to my horse.
Those Warlike champions, monuments of Fame,
Trophies of Honour friends to choice delights,
Who much desired to propagate, their name,
“And therefore wisht that they so many nights.
158
“For want of men would take them to my horse.
If I had liu'd in Phaeton his daies,
When with vngiddy course he rul'd the Sun,
O then my Palfrey had beene of great prise,
For hee's not head-strong, nor would haue out-run,
His fellow-Horses, but with gentler pace,
As soft and easie as the nimble wind.
He would with hakney pace lagg'd on behind.
When with vngiddy course he rul'd the Sun,
O then my Palfrey had beene of great prise,
For hee's not head-strong, nor would haue out-run,
His fellow-Horses, but with gentler pace,
As soft and easie as the nimble wind.
He would with hakney pace lagg'd on behind.
If I had liu'd when th' warre of Agincourt,
Burnish't with shields as bright as Diamond,
To which our noblest Heroes made resort,
O then my Stallion would haue kept his ground,
And beene at razing of the stateliest fort,
In all that Prouince: and though small he may,
Yet am I sure he would not runne away.
Burnish't with shields as bright as Diamond,
To which our noblest Heroes made resort,
O then my Stallion would haue kept his ground,
And beene at razing of the stateliest fort,
In all that Prouince: and though small he may,
Yet am I sure he would not runne away.
If I had liu'd but in Don Quixotes time,
His Rozinant had beene of little worth,
For mine was bred within a coulder clime,
And can endure the motion of the earth,
With greater patience: nor will he repine
At any prouender, so mild is he,
How many men want his humility?
His Rozinant had beene of little worth,
For mine was bred within a coulder clime,
And can endure the motion of the earth,
With greater patience: nor will he repine
At any prouender, so mild is he,
How many men want his humility?
If I had liu'd when that proud fayry Queene,
Boasted to run with swift wingd Zephirus,
Tripping so nimbly ore the leuie greene,
Of Oetas flourie forrest, where each bush,
Taxt her presumption: then my Horse had beene,
A Horse of price, O then he had beene tride,
And to no manger in subiection tide.
Boasted to run with swift wingd Zephirus,
Tripping so nimbly ore the leuie greene,
159
Taxt her presumption: then my Horse had beene,
A Horse of price, O then he had beene tride,
And to no manger in subiection tide.
If I had liu'd when Fame-spred Tamberlaine
Displaid his purple signalls in the East,
Hallow ye pamphred Iades, had beene in vaine,
For mine's not pamphred, nor was ere at feast,
But once, which once's nere like to be againe,
How methinks would hee haue scour'd the wheeles,
Hauing braue Tamberlaine whipping at's heeles.
Displaid his purple signalls in the East,
Hallow ye pamphred Iades, had beene in vaine,
For mine's not pamphred, nor was ere at feast,
But once, which once's nere like to be againe,
How methinks would hee haue scour'd the wheeles,
Hauing braue Tamberlaine whipping at's heeles.
If I had liu'd but in our Banks his time,
I doe not doubt, so wittie is my Iade,
So full of Imitation, but in fine,
He would haue prou'd a mirrour in his trade,
And told Duke Humphreis Knights the houre to dine
Yea by a secret instinct would bad power,
To know an honest woman from a whoore.
I doe not doubt, so wittie is my Iade,
So full of Imitation, but in fine,
He would haue prou'd a mirrour in his trade,
And told Duke Humphreis Knights the houre to dine
Yea by a secret instinct would bad power,
To know an honest woman from a whoore.
Well theres no remedy, since I am poore,
And cannot feede my horse as I desire,
I must be forc't to set a Bill oth dore,
And with my Bill pay for my horses hire,
VVhich once discharg'd, Ile neuer run o'th skore;
But for my Bill, (inuention play thy part,)
And for my horse-sake, tell men what thou art.
And cannot feede my horse as I desire,
I must be forc't to set a Bill oth dore,
And with my Bill pay for my horses hire,
VVhich once discharg'd, Ile neuer run o'th skore;
But for my Bill, (inuention play thy part,)
And for my horse-sake, tell men what thou art.
Heere stands a beast that eats and ha's no teeth,
Wiske out and winches, and yet has no tayle,
Looks like Deaths-head, and yet he is not death,
Neighs like an Asse, and crawleth like a snayle,
All bones aboue, no belly vnderneath,
“Legg'd like a Cammell, with a Sea-horse foote,
“So bigg's his head he cannot be got out.
185
Looks like Deaths-head, and yet he is not death,
Neighs like an Asse, and crawleth like a snayle,
All bones aboue, no belly vnderneath,
“Legg'd like a Cammell, with a Sea-horse foote,
“So bigg's his head he cannot be got out.
Now generous spirits that inhabit heere,
And loue to see the wonders of this Isle,
Compar'd with other nations, draw but neere
And you shall see what was exprest ere-while,
Your pay's but pence, and that's not halfe so deere,
“If you remember, as was that same toy,
“Of Banks his horse, or Fenners Englands ioy.
And loue to see the wonders of this Isle,
Compar'd with other nations, draw but neere
And you shall see what was exprest ere-while,
Your pay's but pence, and that's not halfe so deere,
“If you remember, as was that same toy,
“Of Banks his horse, or Fenners Englands ioy.
What would you see, that may not heere be seene,
A Monster? VVhy, its heere: or would you see,
That which has erst beene showne to other men,
“A horses tayle stand where his head should be.
Lasse you must know I am for none of them,
That loue such nouelties: my two yeeres sayle,
Has brought a winching thing that has no tayle.
A Monster? VVhy, its heere: or would you see,
That which has erst beene showne to other men,
“A horses tayle stand where his head should be.
Lasse you must know I am for none of them,
That loue such nouelties: my two yeeres sayle,
Has brought a winching thing that has no tayle.
Obserue the wonder, it's not obuious,
Nor each day common: see now while its heere,
For its a monster so prodigious,
That if I can, Ile hau't some other where,
And show my trauell to the generous.
“For know my monster doth this stable hate,
“Hauing a head so great, a roome so straite.
Nor each day common: see now while its heere,
For its a monster so prodigious,
That if I can, Ile hau't some other where,
And show my trauell to the generous.
“For know my monster doth this stable hate,
“Hauing a head so great, a roome so straite.
161
Why crowd ye here no faster? 'lasse I see,
Because I cannot garnish out my post
VVith faire inscriptions grauen curiouslie.
“Like to your Mountebanke or English Foist.
The trifling vulgar will not come to me.
Nor visit my strange oue beast: let them passe.
My Monster's not set vp for euery Asse.
Because I cannot garnish out my post
VVith faire inscriptions grauen curiouslie.
“Like to your Mountebanke or English Foist.
The trifling vulgar will not come to me.
Nor visit my strange oue beast: let them passe.
My Monster's not set vp for euery Asse.
It' for these braue renowned Caualieres,
“That craue to see, and talke of what they see;
Nay talke of more then either eies or eares
VVere witnesse of. These welcome are to me,
And to my Monster, for to them't appeares,
“And to no others, that they might beget,
“More gaine by th' sight, then ere I gain'd by it.
“That craue to see, and talke of what they see;
Nay talke of more then either eies or eares
VVere witnesse of. These welcome are to me,
And to my Monster, for to them't appeares,
“And to no others, that they might beget,
“More gaine by th' sight, then ere I gain'd by it.
VVhat none? no Mandeuill? is London growne
To surfet of new accideats? why hoe,—
Saint Bartlemews, where all the Pagents showne,
And all those acts from Adam vnto Noe
Vs'd to be represent? canst send me none,
Of any sort? or thou'ld not any spare,
But keepe them for the Pagents of thy Faire.
To surfet of new accideats? why hoe,—
Saint Bartlemews, where all the Pagents showne,
And all those acts from Adam vnto Noe
Vs'd to be represent? canst send me none,
Of any sort? or thou'ld not any spare,
But keepe them for the Pagents of thy Faire.
How many vsd to swarme from Booth to booth.
“Like to Sclauoniaus, when with famine pinde,
Going like Heards, as other cattell doth,
Itching for news, yet neuer more inclinde
To heare the worst: where now is all that froth,
Of crab-fac't Raskals? O I know their straine,
“The Faire being done, they sleepe till faire againe.
“Like to Sclauoniaus, when with famine pinde,
Going like Heards, as other cattell doth,
Itching for news, yet neuer more inclinde
To heare the worst: where now is all that froth,
Of crab-fac't Raskals? O I know their straine,
“The Faire being done, they sleepe till faire againe.
164
If mother Red-cap, chance to haue an Oxe
Rosted all whole, O how you'le flye to it,
Like Widgeons, or like wild geese in full flocks,
That for his pennie each may haue his bitte:
Or if that limping Pedant at the stocks,
Set out a Pageant, whoo'l not thither runne,
As twere to whip the cat at Abington.
Rosted all whole, O how you'le flye to it,
Like Widgeons, or like wild geese in full flocks,
That for his pennie each may haue his bitte:
Or if that limping Pedant at the stocks,
Set out a Pageant, whoo'l not thither runne,
As twere to whip the cat at Abington.
Ill-nurtur'd Bowbies, know what I haue heere
Is such a Monster, as to know what tis,
Would breed amazement in the strangest eare,
But vulgar eyes are ayming still amisse,
To whom whats onely rare, is onely deere.
For you my wonder sleepes, nor shall't awake,
Till riper wits come for my monsters sake.
Is such a Monster, as to know what tis,
Would breed amazement in the strangest eare,
But vulgar eyes are ayming still amisse,
To whom whats onely rare, is onely deere.
For you my wonder sleepes, nor shall't awake,
Till riper wits come for my monsters sake.
Farewell vnciuill Stinkards, skum oth City,
The Suburbs pandors, boults to garden Alleys,
May you through grates sing out your doleful ditty,
For now my Dragon Monster spits his malice,
That as you pitty none, so none may pitty,
Your forlorne state: O may't be as I pray,
So saddest night may cloud your cleerest day.
And for the Ostler, since I reape no gaine,
Out of my Monster, take him for thy paine.
Yet for remembrance write vpon this shelfe,
Here stood a Horse that eat away himselfe.
The Suburbs pandors, boults to garden Alleys,
May you through grates sing out your doleful ditty,
For now my Dragon Monster spits his malice,
That as you pitty none, so none may pitty,
Your forlorne state: O may't be as I pray,
So saddest night may cloud your cleerest day.
And for the Ostler, since I reape no gaine,
Out of my Monster, take him for thy paine.
Yet for remembrance write vpon this shelfe,
Here stood a Horse that eat away himselfe.
| A Strappado for the Diuell | |