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Euphrenia or the Test of Love

A poem by William Sharp

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CANTO SECOND.
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53

CANTO SECOND.

THE DREAM.


54

ARGUMENT.

The lover's retreat—Love's delirium—The change—Society— The guests—The heiress—Music; its attributes—The governess— The dance—The evening at sea—The ruined castle—The youth surrounded by his companions—The betrothed—The refusal— The bridge—The victim—The lost one's tale—Waking reflections.


55

I.

Again before his ravished eyes
The beauteous maiden stood;
Oh! she had ne'er appeared so fair,
So worthy to be wooed.
Her cheeks, with constant blushes warm;
Her large and liquid eyes;
Two seas of tenderness, in which
A world of promise lies;
Yielding, affectionate, and kind,
No frown o'erclouds that face,
As with a soul-revealing sigh
She sinks in his embrace.

56

II.

He clasps her to his beating heart,
Which guilty passions swell;
With fiery eloquence he pleads,
And pleads, alas! too well.
That night, with quick and timid step,
She leaves her peaceful home,
Trusts to the tempter's promises,
And firmly seals her doom.
Bewildered, wavering, hoping,
She quits her native dale:
Thus perjury wins virtue's self,
Thus arts of hell prevail.

III.

He bore her to her future home,
So deemed the partial maid;
He fondly calmed the rising fears
Of her he had betrayed.
While she, too willing to believe
His trust-inspiring lies,
Regarded every act of his
With love's o'er-partial eyes;
And often, when a struggling doubt
Would into being start,
Took shame unto herself to nurse
Suspicion in her heart.

57

IV.

It scarce were possible for love
To find a meeter spot;
Embosomed in a mountain's side
Peeped forth a tiny cot,
Far from the busy haunts of men,
Where the romantic Wye
Pursues its infant babbling course
In nature's minstrelsie:
A wood encircled jealously,
A ruin watched above,
Lest some rude mortal should invade
This sanctuary of love.

V.

Here, in an atmosphere of bliss,
Reposed the youthful pair,
Too wrapped in love's delicious trance
To heed the frown of care;
Though, ever and anon would pass
Across her speaking eyes
A transient shade of sadness;
A gentle sigh would rise,
But to be stifled on her lips
By passion's warm caress,
Or echoed back reproachfully
With glance of mute distress.

58

VI.

Oft on the streamlet's verdant banks
Their truant footsteps stray;
Heedless of Time's too rapid flight,
Till the declining day,
Lengthening the mountain shadow,
With giant finger shows,
That nature is about to hush
The world to its repose.
While the bright coronet of gold,
That crowns the mountain's crest,
Looks like the fond sun's parting gift,
Ere yet he sinks to rest.

VII.

Together oft they watch the sun
Descend the mountain's side,
More lovely in his soft decline
Than in his noonday pride.
So beauty in its zenith height
Doth dazzle and amaze;
Its bright effulgence overpowers,
Nor suffers us to gaze;
But, in its mellower season,
A thousand charms appear,
As mind conspires with loveliness
To render it more dear.

59

VIII.

Fie, youth! inconstant trifler, fie!
The treasure of to-day
Too soon to suffer cold neglect,
To experience love's decay;
Exacting, jealous, passionate,
Should aught thy fancy thwart,
Callous, cruel, and unfeeling,
To her whose gentle heart
Has once confessed its vassalage.
'Tis sad, alas! but true;
Not only dost thou tyrant prove,
But thou art traitor too.

IX.

A few months o'er (how swift they flew
With her that lady fair)
Produced a gradual change in him,
Which filled her with despair.
He who, but some short weeks gone by,
Had known no higher joy,
Than with his loved one's tresses
Continually to toy,
Now counts each hour of the day,
Each minute of the hour,
And finds time lag but wearily,
E'en in his lady's bower.

60

X.

Full soon he seeks the neighbouring town,
Joins in its pleasures rude,
Unable to appreciate
The sweets of solitude:
Cloyed with possession (once so prized),
He in his victim sees
Naught but a jealous guardian,
Whose charms have ceased to please.
His now so frequent absence
Is easier to be borne,
Than that thin-wove hypocrisy,
Which scarce conceals its scorn.

XI.

Too well she saw the cruel change
In his averted eye;
And oh! the misery of that hour,
The damning agony.
The brain refused its function—
No! she would not believe
That he, the idol of her soul,
Could wantonly deceive;
And yet she shuddered inwardly,
When venturing to compare
His former fond devotedness
With his now altered air.

61

XII.

Why should we trace the death of love,
As slowly it declines,
The soul's sad sickness under which
Misguided woman pines;
When, love's illusion o'er, she finds
That she has yielded all
To one whose false and tinsel flame
Has scarce survived her fall?
Why wonder that the dastard blow,
Which hurls her from her throne,
Should turn her honey into gall,
Her heart to hardest stone?

XIII.

Yet must she smile, tremendous task!
The martyr's at the stake
Is child's play in comparison!
Oh! that the heart would break,
And not survive its happiness,
Nor linger at death's door;
Its cherished freight a total wreck
On the world's iron shore!
A prey to all the waves of fate,
The hissing winds of scorn,
Which blow so keenly upon one
Left helpless and forlorn!

62

XIV.

Quit we the sad, the sickening theme:
The mortal who descends
To practise thus on confidence
For his own selfish ends,
Merits more deep damnation,
Deserves more hissing scorn,
Than the red murderer for whom
The depths of vengeance yawn.
He kills by foulest treachery,
Uproots the fairest flower,
Who blights a maiden's innocence,
Her best, her richest dower.

XV.

The scene is shifted suddenly.
He finds himself among
The votaries of fashion's shrine,
A bright and brilliant throng;
Grouped gracefully, yet carelessly,
A large saloon displays
A well assorted company;
The man of former days
Chats with the ruddy schoolboy,
Well up in cricket's game,
And sighs to find himself so changed,
The world so much the same.

63

XVI.

Women of every age are there;
The dowager whose débût
Had charmed the courtly group, while yet
This century was new,
Half buried in a couch reclines
In most luxurious ease,
A couch whose soft persuasive shape
A Sybarite might please;
The matron and the blushing bride,
Maidens of every time,
The young, the old, those who are in,
And those long past their prime.

XVII.

E'en happy childhood strikes the eye,
Or rather strikes the ear,
Showing its whereabouts with laugh
So natural and clear;
Those tresses which, an hour ago,
Were not a hair awry,
Now, in disorder scattered,
In rich confusion lie.
How beautiful that rosy tint,
How bright those laughing eyes,
Which mirror each emotion's play,
And scorn to use disguise.

64

XVIII.

Apart from the more noisy guests,
With grave and solemn mien,
Deep in its silent mysteries,
Whist's worshippers are seen:
That man with lofty forehead
Intent upon the cards,
The destinies of states controls,
And England's honour guards;
Leaving kings, queens, ambassadors,
And diplomatic scuffles,
Their pasteboard representatives
He cavalierly shuffles.

XIX.

There is young Kidglove of the “Greens,”
Who joined the ranks of Mars,
Seduced by the gay uniform,
But never dreamt of wars;
His field duties attendance
At picnics and excursions;
His laurels won at “Fêtes Champêtres,”
Or similar diversions.
The ball room proves his tactics;
Here his polite attention
And simpering smile obtain
“Most honourable mention.”

65

XX.

That is young Highflier, than whom
No jockey is more able,
More skilled in the “arcana”
Of betting ring and stable;
Who votes all this thing slow,
And wonders what one can see
In music or in dancing
To take a fellow's fancy.
Give him his horses and his dogs,
His betting book and tandem,
He'll leave all bothering parties
To those who understand them.

XXI.

There is a living duke;
Oily, the favourite preacher;
Longlocks, the boudoir poet,
A dear delightful creature;
Puzzle'm, the Cantab don,
That intellectual giant,
Challenging wordy warfare,
With look and eye defiant.
These all have toadies in their train,
For social life is cumbered,
Just like the vegetable world,
With parasites unnumbered.

66

XXII.

These simper acquiescence
Whene'er, by careful gleaning,
They manage haply to make out,
Or guess his grace's meaning;
The parson's exposition
Receives a due ovation;
The poet's vanity is soothed
By a well-aimed quotation;
The don propound's a theory
With loud and pompous diction,
And deems the silence that ensues
The offspring of conviction.

XXIII.

There are the lesser satellites,
The squires and their ladies;
The doctor and the lawyer;
But no one who in trade is.
These form a group apart,
And seek, with furtive glances,
To catch the great man's eye
When he perchance advances.
There is a curate whose small pay
I hardly like to mention,
Though how he manages to live
Is past my comprehension.

67

XXIV.

And then the Phœnix of the night
An heiress, to whom rumour
So fabulous a fortune gave,
That it appeared to doom her
To single blessedness at once;
No settlements could offer
A sum at all proportionate
To that which filled her coffer.
And what was stranger than all this,
Oh, union most uncommon!
Nature in her fair person tried
To form a perfect woman.

XXV.

Hers was the poetry of form,
That grace so rarely seen,
The soft voluptuous outline
Of Paphia's peerless queen,
But breathing, virginal, untouched
By sorrow or by sin,
Warmed by a heart that lighted up
The mansion from within:
Her ivory throat a pillar meet
For the small classic head;
While love and virtue round her
Their holiest incense shed.

68

XXVI.

The sculptor in her perfect form
His own ideal saw;
Her presence on earth's coarser clay
Inspired a sense of awe;
The faultless beauty of her face
Was heightened by the mind,
Which lent each feature eloquence,
And happily combined
The mental with the physical;
Her dark and lustrous eyes
Flash brightly, or cloud languidly,
As various feelings rise.

XXVII.

Yet oftentimes would those ripe lips
Give passage to a sigh;
Those eyes would brilliant drops distil,
When, in her privacy,
She thought upon her orphan state,
Longed for a parent's kiss;
Fortune, so lavish otherwise,
Had been unkind in this.
E'en in the midst of pleasure's train
She felt herself alone;
And loneliness has pangs for which
No fortune can atone.

69

XXVIII.

Calm, self-possessed, and quiet,
And yet withal as free
From sick'ning affectation
As from idle vanity,
No studied effort marred the effect
Her matchless beauty caused.
Hushed by her voice's Siren tones
Men in their converse paused,
Fearing to lose a single word;
And when she ceased to speak
Were silent, till their silence brought
The blush to her fair cheek.

XXIX.

Oh, charm, to which e'en beauty yields!
Can aught on earth so stir
The soul's most secret feeling, as
The dulcet tones of her
To whom benignant nature
Has, in her bounty, given
Her daintiest gift, “a soft, sweet voice,”
That attribute of heaven?
Oh, doubly, trebly armed is she;
No heart so hard but owns
A mute responsive echo
To woman's 'witching tones.

70

XXX.

At the first summons, to her harp
She moves with nymphlike grace;
The muse of harmony in her
Might truant fancy trace.
She sweeps the chords, the thrilling notes
Her breast's deep feelings prove;
Now a soft melting cadence shows
A soul attuned to love:
The wrapt and listening heart,
Almost too hushed to beat,
Approaches by degrees the goal
Where pain and pleasure meet.

XXXI.

Oh, Music! would I had the skill
To worthily rehearse
Thy deep and soul-felt beauties
In due and fitting verse.
Oh, lofty theme, alas! too high,
How sing thee as I ought:
Thou eldest born of heaven!
Thou foster nurse of thought!
Awaking in the heart of man
All that is great and grand,
Thou raisest him to that bright arch
By which the world is spanned.

71

XXXII.

Thou emanation from above!
Thou hast the power to change
The hard and stubborn heart of man;
To extend the narrow range
Of mental vision: fanned by thee,
Nature's warm feelings glow;
At thy sweet summons, from our eyes
The tears of pity flow.
Our hearths, our country, all,
Seem more than ever dear,
As music's wild exciting strain
Falls on a freeman's ear.

XXXIII.

How oft thy magic strains recall
The visions of the past,
Memories which o'er the chastened soul
A holy sorrow cast;
Thou callest up departed friends,
Eclipsed by death's dark night;
Raised for a moment by thy power,
They flash before the sight;
And as thy glorious notes ascend,
Bearing our thoughts on high,
Thou aidest faith and hope to prove
Man's immortality.

72

XXXIV.

Thou speakest every tongue on earth,
Or rather, all mankind
Interpret that sweet language
Which whispers to the mind;
To thy voice every heart responds,
All worship at thy shrine,
However rude the offering be,
Thou mightiest of the Nine!
In the full womb of coming time,
Methinks I view in thee
A link to join in bonds of love
The human family.

XXXV.

Sweet muse of harmony, forgive:
Thou, whom the heaven-born few
Have striven emulously to sing,
Accept my tribute too,
Humble but heart-felt offering;
To none on earth I yield
In admiration of thy charms,
Else had I left the field
To loftier spirits; yet, O muse,
Let me essay to swell
The world-wide chorus of the praise
Thou meritest so well.

73

XXXVI.

She ceased her strain, and every eye
Upon the Siren turned,
Each lip o'erflowed with flattery,
Each breast with pleasure burned;
As turning with a native grace
She bowed her thanks and smiled
Upon the partner of her task,
A creature meek and mild,
Whom none appeared to notice,
Whom all passed coldly by,
Or paid her salutation back
With chilling courtesy.

XXXVII.

Not so the lady of the harp.
In kind and earnest tones
She thanks her sister melodist,
And half the praise disowns;
Throws on that slighted being
Some portion of the rays
Which gild a high-born station
In these birth-loving days;
Eschews all airs of patronage,
And with true woman's art
Seeks not to dazzle or amaze,
But aims to touch the heart.

74

XXXVIII.

Nor hard the task; for her sweet smile
Had thawed the veriest churl
That ever frowned on happiness:
But on a friendless girl,
More lonely in society
Than in her cheerless room,
Where, in the twin companionship
Of solitude and gloom,
Her tears at least were free to flow,
On her such kindness wrought
A cure for half the paltry slights
Of which she was the sport.

XXXIX.

Hardest of fates! too hard, alas!
Tuition's wages are
Insult, neglect, ingratitude,
A life of constant care,
A goading apprehension
Of long prospective want,
An absence of all sympathy,
A nauseous flood of cant,
A menial's wages, nay, far less;
This will ye surely find,
Ye who aspire to teach the young,
To train the immortal mind.

75

XL.

Our youth essays to share the smile
Of her whom all admire;
His winning manners in her heart
A preference inspire:
In shortest space he feels as though
He spoke to one long known;
Their conversation soon assumes
A soft, familiar tone.
Thoughts, sentiments, opinions,
So happily agree,
Each in the other's nature can
A kindred spirit see.

XLI.

Now in the mazy dance her form
Is circled by his arms;
Now some responsive smile gives birth
To captious love's alarms;
Or, turned on him a moment,
A thrilling glance conveys
A world of meaning, and all sense
Of jealousy allays—
A glance whose rapid eloquence
Outstrips the speed of thought,
The electric current of the soul
By kindred spirit caught.

76

XLII.

Anon upon a vessel's deck,
Skimming the moonlit sea,
The yielding form of her he loves
Encircled lovingly;
The Orb of Night, with lustre mild,
Lights up the fairy scene,
Suggesting to the heart of man
All that he might have been,
Or trusts to be hereafter.
Oh, radiant Queen of Night!
Why are thy soft and silvery beams
So grateful to the sight?

XLIII.

Is it that thou with pitying look
Regardest all below,
And dost not seek too cunningly
Our hidden deeds to know?
Unlike that orb whose searching rays,
Darting through smallest space,
Plainly before the conscious mind
Each imperfection place.
The sun, a stern and upright judge,
With clear, all-seeing eye,
While thou seest nought that haply might
Outrage thy purity.

77

XLIV.

Fraught with love's silent eloquence,
Their humid eyes discourse;
A single word were treason now;
The softest voice is hoarse
When it disturbs that holy pause
Which tired nature makes,
That hour when, scorning the dull earth,
The soul of man awakes.
The vessel slumbers on the wave,
E'en the rough seaman feels
The dreamy influence of the charm
Which o'er the senses steals.

XLV.

Hark! it is surely fancy. No;
Again I hear that strain;
Borne on the idle wind it floats
Across the moonlit main;
A sound of blended voices,
That charms the listening ear;
Now fading into silence, now
Melodiously clear;
Keeping responsive echo
Unto the dipping oar,
A joyous party slowly gains
The scarce-distinguished shore.

78

XLVI.

O Nature! how mysterious,
How wonderful art thou!
Before thy rich simplicity
Art's noblest triumphs bow.
How sweetly doth the human voice
In mellow cadence fall:
What tone from pealing organ sent
Can the hushed soul enthral
As chorus of sweet voices,
Attuned by Nature's power,
Sweeping in concert o'er the deep,
At evening's stilly hour?

XLVII.

Now in an ivy-mantled tower,
Whose ruined walls attest
The march of that relentless foe
Whose labours know no rest;
A ruined hearth proclaims the spot
Where erst a noble sat,
And entertained a haughty queen
In all the pride of state:
So mighty then, so lowly now,
No sermon can convey
More wholesome moral than the thought
Of grandeur passed away.

79

XLVIII.

Amongst his youthful compeers next
He stands with conscious air,
The acknowledged winner of the prize,
The favoured of the fair;
Such various charms, such wondrous wealth,
So many smiling friends,
Rarely indeed the fickle dame
Such store of favours sends.
Ah! youth, beware: a smiling face
Oft like a mask conceals
More venom than the deadliest scowl
Which enmity reveals.

XLIX.

And now at evening's tranquil hour,
That hour to lovers dear,
E'en though its darkening shadows show
The parting moment near.
Too cruel Time! relentless foe!
Nor youth nor beauty may
Arrest thy hurrying progress,
Obtain the least delay;
Oh, couldst thou know but half the pangs
Which youthful lovers feel
When forced to part, lip pressed to lip,
Their sad “good-night” they seal.

80

L.

“Good-night, good-night!” repeats the youth,
“Good-night!” responds the maid;
Until from sight he is shut out
By night's too jealous shade.
“To-morrow's sun will smile upon
Your oft repeated vow;
Yet two days more a bridal wreath
Will crown that lovely brow.”
Presumptuous mortal! thou art blind,
Short-sighted one, can'st see,
E'en for a moment, through the gloom,
Which veils futurity?

LI.

'Tis eve: the youth, with youth's hot haste,
Quickens his courser's flight;
Between him and his happiness
There intervenes a night.
What fancies dance through that young brain!
What airy visions rise!
His panting servant finds it hard
To follow as he flies;
The gate is reached; the grinning hind
Has scarce the latch let fall,
Ere he, with passion's fiery haste,
Has gained the stately hall.

81

LII.

He entered quickly where so oft
A clamorous welcome hailed
The arrival of the expected one;
Sudden his conscience quailed.
The guardian of the heiress played
The ceremonious host:
All was polite but chilling,
Good breeding's glistening frost;
The loved one absent? why this change?
This cold reception, why?
Wouldst know the reason? search awhile
Thy treacherous memory.

LIII.

Sudden the door was opened wide,
And entering was seen
His promised bride, so cold, so pale,
She looked like sorrow's queen;
But not with sorrow's bending port,
For pride's sustaining power,
Backed by her conscious rectitude,
Had nerved her for this hour.
She bent her head with haughty grace,
As with a swelling breast,
Scorn darting from her eyes the while,
She thus the youth addressed.

82

THE BETROTHED (SPEAKS).

“My lord! I trust you will not deem that I
Am swayed by whim, or girlish phantasy,
In what I have to say: I would entreat,
You will not let an empty phantom cheat
Your hopes so far. I were indeed to blame,
If I permitted a false sense of shame
To turn me from what I consider right;
Else, had I gladly shunned my task to-night.
Dream not that whispered malice has the power,
In my esteem, a valued friend to lower.
Scandal I loathe, but I were mad indeed
To friendly caution to refuse all heed;
Or treat with incredulity a tale,
Whose sad relation caused my soul to quail;
A tale in which you played so black a part
(Though I believed you guiltless in my heart),
That it was due to me, no less than you,
To prove the accusation was untrue.
Need I say more? my efforts failed; and why?
Too deep, too patent, was your infamy.
I might have left to fitter lips than mine
The task of stating why I now decline
The honour, which you kindly would confer
On my unworthy self. I know I err
Against ‘the tyrant custom’; but with me
Candour and truth outweigh propriety.

83

My lord! I own I gave a full assent
To your attentions—nay, was well content
To trust my fate to one who seemed to me,
In heart and feelings, all that man should be.
I saw the mind reflected in the face,
Where, foolish girl, I dreamt that I could trace
A thousand signs of truth's ingenuous grace.
To such a being I engaged my hand;
Not to a serpent who had coldly plann'd
The ruin of a young and trusting heart
By foulest treachery and basest art;
Who, after heaping on her wretched head
The worst of insults, like a coward fled.
Little I guessed, forsooth, that every smile
Was stolen from the victim of your guile;
And I a party to the theft—poor fool!
I was too vain to deem myself a tool.
But I forget my purpose: I am wrong
In giving this wide license to my tongue.
Enough that I refuse a rank to share,
Enough that I disdain a name to bear,
Which have been sullied by such acts as prove
Their owner quite unworthy of my love.
Farewell, my lord! and may that power, who
Absolves our sins, show mercy unto you.
Your wanton crime compels me thus to sever
Our promis'd bond—my lord, adieu for ever!”

84

LIV.

The outraged fair one quits the scene,
Nor does the culprit dare
To offer words in his defence:
Rage, phrenzy, and despair,
Tug at his heart-strings with such force,
That when at length he speaks,
His voice is less like speech divine,
Than some hoarse raven's shrieks:
Too late the guilty youth would fain
Be cleansed from vice's slime;
Too late perceives that vengeance treads
Upon the heels of crime.

LV.

The host, in mercy to his state,
Entreats him to be calm;
His wild and haggard air excite
To pity and alarm;
But, with a curse upon his lips,
The madman breaks away,
Calls for his horse with stern command,
That brooks of no delay;
Nor waits he then, his angry mood
Admits of nought like rest;
He quits the hated spot ere one
Can answer his behest.

85

LVI.

Alone, to the cool evening breeze
He bares his fevered brow;
Alas! that simple remedy
Will not avail him now.
Within his inmost heart of hearts
The fire so fiercely burns;
Conscience, so often thrust aside,
With tenfold force returns;
With cynic sneer he tries to drown
His torment's sharp appeals;
And with a fiend's philosophy
His stubborn bosom steels.

LVII.

Bracing and cool, the thin night air;
The young moon shed a ray,
Which lightly tipped with silver edge
A ruined tower that lay
Flanking a noble river,
Athwart whose channeled bed
In dark uncertain outline
Its threatening shadow spread:
A time-touched bridge o'erspanned the stream,
Whose gurgling waters strove
To kiss the fabric's massive piers,
While swiftly on they drove.

86

LVIII.

Upon this bridge the wilful youth
A moment paused and sighed:
Scarce two hours since and he had passed
That spot elate with pride.
But pride is quenched, and to its seat
Far other feelings start;
The promptings of the ready fiend
Are busy at his heart:
As o'er the peaceful stream he leans,
Dark thoughts besiege his mind,
Suggesting that beneath its waves
He may oblivion find.

LIX.

But no! that triumph were too great,
His proud heart scorns the thought,
That he to coward suicide
Should be impelled by aught.
He hurries on; the centre reached,
A shivering female stands,
Intently gazing on the stream,
Upraised her thin wan hands:
His conscience pricks him onward,
Prompts that he here may save
Some wretch who seeks to cheat her cares
Beneath the river's wave.

87

LX.

He speaks, and at his voice's sound,
Two bright and dazzling eyes
Flash with the sudden violence
Of madness and surprise.
A moment more she shrieks and falls.
That shriek, so wild and shrill,
Chills the warm current of his blood
And nullifies his will;
And coupled with it is his name!
Amazed, in that pale face
The victim of his heartless lust
His eyes too surely trace.

LXI.

With outstretched hands he fain would raise
That prostrate form; but, no!
From his polluting touch she shrinks,
As from her deadliest foe,
Springs to her feet, and stands erect.
Nay, in the moon's pale beam,
Her figure, rigid with her scorn,
Doth more than mortal seem;
Her glaring eyes fixed full on his,
Her face unearthly pale,
Seduction's victim, in his ears
Thus thunders forth her tale.

88

THE LOST ONE'S TALE.

“Thou! can it be, or do my cheated eyes
Behold some mocking fiend in human guise?
No, 'tis himself—the tempter—it is he!
The author of my shame, my misery;
By whose false vows and perjured oaths I fell
From virtue's height to vice's lowest hell;
To whom my heart, my soul, my all was given;
By whom to sin's abyss I have been driven;
Who from a trusting girl her virtue stole,
And, not content with that, must damn the soul;
Who, pander like, made over to his friend
The being whom he promised to defend,
Treated his victim like a beast of price,
And made a market of his very vice.
Coward and villain! Could my state impart
No touch of pity to thy stony heart?
E'en though thou wert incapable of love,
Could not humanity thy conscience move?
Did not my unborn infant mutely plead
For mercy to its mother in her need?
Ah! do my words excite thy noble bile?
Small care have I for either frown or smile.
Wretch! demon! fiend! thou shalt not pass till I
Have dinned the sequel of thy villainy
Into those ears. Alas! full well I know
That, past that sense, words will not, cannot go.

89

But to my tale. When, craven like, you fled,
I felt within my heart a secret dread;
For a pure nature, once deceived, assumes
Suspicion as an armour, and becomes
Doubly suspicious. Oh, that dreadful night!
How thankful was I when the morning light
Cleared multiplying horrors from my brain,
And gave my soul the power to hope again.
The day dragged on; your friend arrived, and then
I learned, with wonder, what mean things are men;
Found that you nobly had arranged to sell
Her whose sole fault was loving you too well.
But he to whom you basely made me o'er,
When he had heard my short sad story, swore
That he would rather die than stoop to be
A partner in such monstrous villainy.
He was a man, and one in whose warm heart
Vice was not linked with treachery and art:
His vices on his soul but lightly sat;
Yours are your own, deep-rooted and innate;
You, by your flight, outraged each human tie,
He showed your victim every sympathy.
By his advice (may heaven reward his care!
And acts like his, I feel, are treasured there)
I sought my home, I dared to turn my face
Towards him on whose grey hairs I'd brought disgrace—
My outraged father. Like a guilty thing
I waited, till the night, with friendly wing,

90

Shrouded my features in its close disguise,
And hid my altered form from prying eyes.
A cold and chilling mist, a driving rain
Beat on my fevered brow, but beat in vain:
I struggled on, uncertain, weary, worn,
My soul a prey to doubt, my bosom torn
By keenest anguish, while my wavering mind
Now towards hope, and now to fear inclined.
Wearied, at length I reached the well-known gate;
The place to me seemed strangely desolate;
No cheering light from latticed window shone;
I strove to catch a sound—alas! no tone
Of long familiar voices met my ear;
I felt a wild, strange, melancholy fear
Creep o'er me; while the damp and murky air,
And death-like silence drove me to despair.
At length, more bold, within the porch I stand,
And seek admission with a faltering hand.
But no reply—no signs of life appear;
My beating heart the only sound I hear.
Frantic, at last, with all my strength I try
To attract some notice: in my agony
I kneel upon the wet and reeking sod,
And dare, in prayer, address my outraged God;
My faltering orison yields no relief;
Doubt adds its terrors to my bitter grief.
Now round the farm I steal, and try to find
Some sign to reassure my troubled mind:

91

Fruitless my search—in stable, barn, or stall;
I visit each, but they are vacant all.
In hopeless agony I turn from thence,
A prey to all the horrors of suspense,
Retrace my footsteps, and, with o'ercharged breast,
Enter the village, hushed in midnight rest;
Steal past each well-known porch with guilty fear,
Longing to know the truth I dread to hear.
Beyond the village, in a crazy shed,
Lives a lone woman, whom her neighbours dread:
At midnight hour, beneath the moon's pale shade,
She culls the herbs which aid her baneful trade;
With hellish art compounds decoctions foul
(Poisons at once to body and to soul).
At her approach the children cease to play,
And e'en the rustic matrons steal away;
Fearing her withering curse, the tired boor
Quickens his sauntering pace when near her door.
Through her dull casement a faint, glimmering light
Falls like a ray of hope upon my sight;
My fears are conquered, desperate I turn
To her shunned porch, the dreaded truth to learn:
I knock, and soon the hag, with accent sour,
Demands my purpose at so late an hour;
My name once heard, she opes her creaking door,
And with quick eye my wasted face scans o'er;
Then, taught mistrust by age, peers in my eyes,
And mutters words of wonder and surprise;

92

First bids me enter, in a sullen tone,
Then cautiously secures her dwelling lone:
Half dead with fear, a chair receives my frame;
The crone meanwhile mouths o'er and o'er my name,
As if the memory's maze, not all effaced,
Required some clue by which it might be traced.
Some minutes then she rocks her palsied head,
My eyes the while survey the ruined shed.
Herbs, once so green, now dried and withering lie,
A fitting type of my sad destiny;
Upon the hearth a low and smouldering flame,
That gave nor light, nor heat, yet served to tame
The raw, inclement air. A huge black cat
Rubbed round the chair in which its mistress sat,
Its large green eyes glared on me as it moved,
Acting as sentry to the thing it loved.
Scarce had I time these various signs to note,
Ere words broke harshly from the witch's throat.
‘Ah, dainty one,’ she cried; ‘you here! Yon boy
Was like them all, soon tired of his toy.
Ah, well! ah, well! I mind you ever were
Different to all the sullen brutes down here;
Your word was ever gentle, and I could,
On your farm, gather sticks and rotten wood
Without a curse, or else a snarling cur
Let loose to force the devilish hag to stir.

93

Ah, well! I'm grateful: now I never hear
Aught but the muttered words of hate and fear.
Your poor old father—’ At that name I fell;
In those few words I heard a parent's knell;
The cottage swam before my dizzy brain,
Long I lay senseless, till, recalled again
By that lone woman's care, tearless I stood,
And heard the fruits of my ingratitude.
My father, from the hour of my flight,
Ne'er looked, with conscious eye, on Heaven's light;
Speechless and crippled, for some time he lay,
His farm, the meanwhile, falling to decay;
Till a harsh agent, and the law's fell fang,
Finished the ruin which his child began.
The parish-poorhouse gave its grudging care
To him whose generous heart would ever share
His meal with misery's child; not long was he
An inmate of that home of poverty;
That power who willed that he should not repine
At my disgrace, or view his own decline,
Freed his imprisoned soul from mortal clay,
To again expand in heaven's unclounded day.
Judge of my horror when I found that I
Had added murder to my infamy;
I used nor steel, nor drug, nor leaden ball,
But a more fatal engine than them all,

94

A child's ingratitude, that weapon sure
To pierce a parent's bosom to the core.
That fearful night passed like some hideous dream;
I left the spot with morning's faintest gleam;
The hag in vain spoke of the untimely hour;
Whispered of certain drugs that have the power
To outrage nature in her closest ties,
And hide my open shame from prying eyes;
Shuddering with horror, from this nest of sin
I flee—yet ere my wanderings begin,
I seek the still churchyard, and try to trace,
By the grey light, my father's resting place.
That duty paid, my faltering steps I bend
To that huge town whose vastness knows no end:
The meanest lodging in its meanest street,
Yet good enough for misery's retreat,
Was mine;—here, in due course of time, I pressed
My ill-starred infant to my throbbing breast,
In its embrace felt something like relief
From my past suffering and gnawing grief;
Yet did its sex foreboding thoughts employ;
I should have felt less anxious with a boy;
Dear bought experience made me shudder, when
I thought on all the wiles and snares of men.
But soon my fears assumed another form;
Another subject filled me with alarm;
My funds, which, guarded with a miser's care,
Had served to keep me on a miser's fare,

95

Were almost gone; yet did I not repine;
One blessing still remained while health was mine;
And I could work, and trusted to obtain
Something by which I might a pittance gain:
A willing mind, I had been taught to think,
Could not to downright want untimely sink.
Ah, cruel error! bitter, taunting lie!
A seeming truth—a hollow fallacy!
How oft, elate with hope, I left my home?
How oft returned, with ill success o'ercome?
What weary miles? what hours in waiting passed;
But to be brutally refused at last;
Or, if not that, offered so small a price,
That e'en the very fiend of avarice
Had blushed to name it; yet these vampires found
Their sordid offers on substantial ground.
They have, lynx-eyed, discovered, what might pass
Less greedy mortals,—that the lowest class
Are not the poorest—that the poor require,
As labour's wage, bread, shelter, clothes, and fire.
They see that there are thousands whose small gains
Form, on the whole, a sum which ill maintains
Those signs external, which, in worldly cant,
Are termed appearances, and which to want
Is sheer starvation. Many a female plies
Her constant needle, dims her sparkling eyes,
Her task, fools deem, to pass the time away;
Nonsense! she works, like all the world, for pay,

96

But living, as she does, at others' charge,
She can, in this way, her mean wage enlarge;
Saps her young life to make a false parade;
Nor let the world suspect she is half paid.
Thus does a fiendish selfishness contrive
On others' misery to gaily live;
And thus the very poorest of the poor
Lay half their earnings at the rich man's door.
Day after day I try, without success,
To find employment. Oh, the bitterness
Of that sad search! to see the living tide
Press onward, all intent and occupied;
To feel the will, the wish to fill a place,
However small, in labour's busy race,
And meet, at each attempt, a fresh rebuff,
Tries a soul formed of nature's sternest stuff.
One day, when near the end of my dull round,
A written notice caused my heart to bound:
Labour was wanted, it was work that I
Had practised almost from my infancy;
The finest cambric served not to suffice
The wants of luxury; to enhance its price,
The embroiderer's skill was needed; I applied,
This time my meek request was not denied,
Nay, was accepted; and my wondrous pay,
By hardest work procured, twelvepence a day;
Twelve hours' constant labour, but no food;
Hot water, it is true, they did include;

97

Yet even this was heaven, when I thought
That what my child required might be bought.
Poor love! she never knew her natural food,
Grief had dried up the source from whence it flowed;
And day by day I saw, with pain and fright,
Her cheeks grow thinner and her eyes less bright;
I sought advice, my darling in my arms,
I feared to hear confirmed my soul's alarms,
For all my soul was centred in my child;
Oh, what was life to me of her despoiled!
Behold me now at the physician's door,
With my last piece of gold, my only store;
In turn am called, and, with an anxious heart,
My fears and my necessities impart.
He was a mild, kind, venerable man,
Who patient heard me, ere himself began:
He told me that my child requirèd more
Good food than physic; that the blood was poor;
She needed nourishment and wholesome air,
Which, with good nursing, would her health repair.
I promised what he ordered should be tried,
And humbly offered all my purse supplied;
Sadly he smiled, gave back the coin again,
Traced a few words with quick and ready pen;

98

Handed me kindly what appeared to be,
To my unpractised eyes, a recipe;
Pressed my cold, trembling hand within his own;
Charged me to come again in courteous tone;
And bade me hasten to a shop where he
Knew that the drugs were what they ought to be.
I found the house, proffered the paper straight,
And for the medicine sat me down to wait;
When, to my great amazement, gracious heaven!
Five golden pieces were politely given.
I sought for explanation, and was told
The paper did not order drugs, but gold.
How did my heart with gratitude o'erflow;
A rock of refuge in my sea of woe,
A friend was found to whom I could apply;
I felt my heart expand; sweet sympathy
Shed its warm lustre o'er my prospect drear,
Illumed my faint-sketched hope, and banished fear.
Again I saw the welcome bloom of health
In that sweet face which formed my only wealth;
And, in that sight, almost forgot my pain;
Nay, dared to dream of happiness again.
Too soon, be sure, does hateful want return
To one whose efforts such a trifle earn.
Again my loved one's roses fade from view,
Again I see privation's sickly hue;

99

Want, baffled once, returns with doubled force;
My wretched fortunes fall from bad to worse.
That pittance small now fails me in my need;
Employment ceases, I am poor indeed!
A month drags on; each day that angel frail
Becomes more thin, more dazzlingly pale;
Her eyes acquire that steadfast, meaning gaze,
That look which should have come with length of days.
I sought that good, kind man, whose name I loved,
But he to brighter spheres had been removed.
What did I then? you ask—I turned to thee!
You may conceive my abject misery,
When I could stoop so low as to demand
Aught like a favour at thy perjured hand:
But, oh! to watch my infant's gasping breath,
Her wasted cheeks—inevitable death!
To know the author of her being could
Prevent her perishing from want of food,
Did I but seek him, as I felt I ought,
Nor let her perish by my pride; the thought
Subdued me quite; the mother, in my soul,
Drove out all feelings else, and claimed the whole.
I flew to find you, but misfortune still
Dogged every step with unrelenting will.

100

You were abroad, they said; I turned aside,
Mute with despair, and bankrupt of my pride.
'Twas a raw, gusty night, the chilling wind,
Like the cold world, was cutting and unkind.
My vitals felt sharp hunger's gnawing fang—
A dead, dull, sickening pain, not the swift pang
That, in sheer mercy to the sufferer, kills
All sense of life and its attendant ills:
Nor bread, nor fire, nor light beneath my roof,
Goaded by stinging memory's reproof,
A moral drunkenness o'erwhelmed my mind,
Reckless I wandered, to reflection blind;
Temptation whispered, backed by hunger's voice—
Disgrace or death were offered to my choice.
I struggled, faltered, and, in fine, became
That which my tongue e'en now denies to name.
I fell: let those who would condemn me try
In such a strife to gain the mastery.
Let constant hunger's goading, empty pain
Send up its dark suggestions to the brain.
Look but abroad: each passing figure seems
Fair fortune's child, to envy's sickly dreams;
Add to all this the thought that you possess
No friend to aid you in your dire distress;
That all the troubles under which you smart
Arose from owning a too feeling heart;
That you are starving, hopeless, and despised,
While flaunting vice is flattered, pampered, prized;

101

Crown the dark picture with a starving child,
And the world's censure must, methinks, be mild.
I fell: yet did I most myself abhor—
Shame, horror, anguish, my sad bosom tore.
I owned a treasure I did not suspect;
I felt its loss—the loss of self-respect.
Till now, whate'er the heartless world might deem,
I paused upon the brink of vice's stream;
Now all opinion I had dared to brave,
By boldly launching on its filthy wave.
Stung by remorse's voice, I vainly try
To drown its tones in inebriety;
Laugh, with a loud and would-be joyous tone,
At things which once had turned me into stone.
That frightful life! A constant acted lie—
Death in the heart and laughter in the eye;
False tears, false smiles—but words are all too faint;
No tongue can aptly tell, no pen can paint
That fallen state, its mad, its feverish joys—
The fruit of drink, which, day by day, destroys
Sense, feeling, conscience, triumphs o'er the will,
And renders hideous vice more hideous still.
Its waking horrors—stinging, sharp remorse—
Again forgotten in guilt's giddy course:

102

Those scenes, where oft the borrowed colour pales
Beside the crimson which the cheek assails;
This and much more have I endured; and why?
My guilty conscience whispers a reply.
I dared to have a secret, dared conceal
That which my duty bound me to reveal;
Strong in my own conceit, I set at nought
Those laws which woman's instinct might have taught;
Descended to be partner in a cheat,
And fell—a victim to my own deceit.
Oh! that the young and thoughtless could but know
How one false step may plunge them into woe;
That one departure from truth's open plain
Brings falsehood's spurious offspring in its train;
That none can caution, guide, instruct, reprove,
Like those whom God and nature bid us love.
But little more remains; the oft-told tale
Has the same end—the lazar house, the jail!
The last I never knew; the first has been
My late sad refuge in this fitful scene.
What of my child? False villain! would'st pretend
At this dread hour to be my infant's friend?
Dost deem me still so blind as not to see
That thou hast been my deadliest enemy?
Dost think that I would let that angel fair
Owe aught to thee, or risk thy devilish care?

103

Never! Let gaping worldlings blame the deed;
These hands from life and sin my darling freed.
When late thy words broke on my startled ear,
For her pure soul I breathed my latest prayer.
Canst understand? My child—thy child is—dead!
Yon tranquil wave flows o'er her gentle head;
Sinless she sleeps; nor can she ever know
Her mother's scarlet shame, her mother's woe.
Murderess! E'en so. My child, I come! I come
To share thy peace and join thee in thy tomb.”

LXII.

This said, upon the parapet
With lightning's speed she flew;
Laughing with maniac wildness,
She waved a last adieu,
Then boldly plunged; the treacherous stream
Received in its embrace
That fragile form, of whose dark deed
Its surface showed no trace.
No coward he who sprang to save;
He could not, dared not see,
Without compunction, the last act
Of this sad tragedy.

104

LXIII.

He sprang to save; but sleep no more
Had power o'er his frame;
At that last crowning horror
His waking senses came.
With haggard look he stared around,
But saw nor bridge, nor stream;
Yet could such vivid scenes be nought
But phantoms of a dream;
But for the room, the morning light,
The open volume, he
Had felt almost inclined
To doubt his own identity.

LXIV.

His waking senses once restored,
His mental vision clear,
He pondered on that warning dream
With conscience-stricken fear.
Who shall attempt to fathom
The dark deceit of man?
The hidden purpose of his soul
Who but himself may scan?
Yet what man's vision fails to note
Cannot escape the eye
Of Him from whom no thought is hid,
“The All-seeing Judge” on high.

105

LXV.

Humbled, confused, he prayed;
His prayer, that he might be
Enabled to withstand the assaults
Of man's arch enemy.
He rose again with lighter heart,
Entered a garden fair,
And drank in health and confidence
With the pure morning air.
Here leave we him to think awhile,
And commune with his heart,
Later we'll see what counsel
The warning did impart.
END OF THE SECOND CANTO.